Wednesday, January 3, 2007        Edition: #3437
Ole! Zee Bull is Back!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Canada’s actors union ACTRA (Alliance of Canadian Cinema Television & Radio Artists) and the CFTPA (Canadian Film & Television Production Association) return to the bargaining table in a last-ditch attempt to avert a planned industry shutdown next MONDAY (oh no, this could affect production on “Pinky Dinky Doo” and “Little Mosque On The Prairie”!) . . . TODAY a new fashion line of apparel, handbags and jewelry dubbed the ‘L-ements of Style’ hits stores, inspired by “The L Word” (Showtime/Global), the cult TV show about a group of high-powered lesbians living in Los Angeles (cool, an entire line of pant suits!) . . . Brit fashion model Kate Moss & her oft-rehabbed boyfriend, Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty, have tied the knot in a candlelit Buddhist ceremony at the Thai resort of Phuket but the union isn’t legally binding in Britain so an ‘official wedding’ is reportedly scheduled for JANUARY 18th (the divorce is scheduled for the 31st) . . . Top-rated syndicated game shows “Jeopardy!” and “Wheel of Fortune” have both been renewed through the 2011-12 season (when Vanna White will be turning 55) . . . Actress Julia Roberts is expecting her 3rd child with husband Danny Moder, a new sibling for their 2-year-old twins Phinnaeus and Hazel (any bets on the new kid’s horrific name – ‘Copernicus’ maybe?) . . . YESTERDAY Oprah Winfrey officially opened her $40-million school for some 150 disadvantaged girls in South Africa, a 28-building campus that features computer and science labs, a library, a theater and a wellness center (manned by Dr Phil?) . . . A new BBC poll to determine the ‘Best British Band of All-Time’ is surprisingly topped by Queen, followed by The Beatles and the Rolling Stones . . . The 14th season of “Survivor” (CBS/Global) will debut sometime in FEBRUARY according to host Jeff Probst, but no specific date has been announced (waiting to see how many contestants survive the coup in Fiji?) . . . And this would never have happened even a year ago – the hanging of Saddam Hussein has been surreptitiously captured on a cellphone video cam and is now viewable on YouTube (according to the site’s ‘Most Viewed’ ranking, it’s not quite as popular as some guy’s recording of his granny called “New Year’s Greetings from My Bubby”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Elvis Presley – The US Postal Service says the 1993 postage stamp commemorating ‘The King’ remains its most-collected stamp ever, with over 124 million units sold.
• Faith Hill – She’s recorded a duet with one of her heroes, Aretha Franklin, for Franklin’s upcoming album, “Aretha: A Woman Falling Out of Love”.
• James Brown – His 11-member back-up band, the Soul Generals, is getting ready to tour by FEBRUARY with either a new singer or shared vocal duties. The Godfather’s dead … so let’s make money!
• Keith Urban – He spent the holidays in Australia during a temporary leave from the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs CA. It was his first visit Down Under since he wed Nicole Kidman near Sydney in JUNE.
• Madonna – The Wembley Arena stop on her “Confessions” tour will be released as part of a CD/DVD set on JANUARY 30th. The package includes a 13-track CD as well as the complete London concert on DVD.
• Paul McCartney – Word has it he’s collaborating with his actress cousin Kate Robbins on a stage show about his early life. The stage version of his classical work “Liverpool Oratorio” will feature a character named ‘Shandy’, based on a young McCartney.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – TODAY through April,  Disneyland’s Space Mountain and California Screamin’ roller coasters will feature remixed soundtracks from the band to accompany new special effects. In honor of the makeover, the coasters will be temporarily dubbed Rockin’ Space Mountain and Rockin’ California Screamin’.
• Willie Nelson – He’ll play Jessica Simpson’s grandfather in “Blonde Ambition”, a new movie based on 1988′s “Working Girl”. They previously co-starred in 2005′s “The Dukes of Hazzard”.
• Wolfmother – TONIGHT they’re on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).

NUTTERS CONVENTIONS ‘07:
• French academics have organized a 3-day conference in Paris to study and discuss the cultural relevance of … ‘James Bond’. Attendees at the conference – organized by the French National Library, the universities of Nanterre and Versailles and the European Center for Audiovisual Writing – will discuss ‘007′s influence on the British identity, capitalism, geopolitics, gastronomy and sexuality. (Hey, what about martinis?)
– “Times of London”
• Might this be the must-see conference to book yourself into in 2007? “Orbwatch” is a 3-day retreat in Sedona AZ coming up in MAY to discuss ‘Orbs’, those glowing spheres of light that sometimes show  up on your camera lens. For only $615, you can talk with scientists and other whackos about whether these white circular shapes are telepathic, conscious spirit globes that communicate with sensitive, spiritual people to bring them stories of the wisdom and power of the ‘Earthkeepers’ … or just out-of-focus dust caught in the light. (You know those little red lightening bolts you see when you rub your eyes too hard? Messages from aliens!)
NET: http://www.greatmystery.org/events/sedona07.html
– “Curious Times”

BOOMERS OVER THE HUMP:
LAST YEAR was the year that the leading edge of the so-called ‘Baby Boom’ generation turned 60. But the biggest clump of Boomers was born in 1957, so THIS YEAR they’re turning 50 and will thus drop off the radar screens of many advertisers who are mainly interested in 18-49s. However, observers note that Boomers will still be spending the most money of any age group, voting with their wallets on companies that take the time to understand and speak to them. Close to 100 million Boomers were born in North America between 1946 and 1964, a giant demographic bulge in the overall population that has fostered numerous trends over the past half-century. (What do you think Boomers will be demanding next? Large-print cellphones?)
– “St Petersburg Times”

MR FIX-IT:
The creator of online encyclopedia ‘Wikipedia’, Jimmy Wales, is planning to create a people-powered search engine. ‘Search Wikia’ won’t rely on keywords to find relevant articles, like Google and other search engines, but instead will produce results decided and edited by humans. Like ‘Wikipedia’, the search site will rely on a large community of members to create and run it. Wales says this project is needed because traditional search systems are ‘broken’.
– PA News

BOOZING BEES:
Scientists at Ohio State University have discovered that honeybees are the perfect subjects for studies in … alcoholism. Whereas most animals have to be tricked into drinking booze, honeybees will happily down the equivalent of a human guzzling 10 liters of wine at a single sitting. Researcher Dr Charles Abramson says they’ll even drink pure ethanol, something no other organism he knows of will do … not even a college student. The idea of using bees for research came to him after he noticed that swarms of them like to forage around discarded wine bottles. (Adds whole new meaning to ‘catching a buzz’.)
– “New Scientist”
    
NEW YEAR, NEW START:
Joining a gym is the most popular New Year’s resolution, at least according to a fitness club chain. THIS WEEK fitness centers are bracing themselves for an onslaught of new recruits, eager to fulfill a resolution to get fit. One personal trainer says JANUARY is by far his busiest time of the year. But the good intentions don’t seem to last long … by FEBRUARY, around 30% of these enthusiasts won’t even manage 1 weekly visit to the gym and, by 2008, 40% will have ditched their gym membership altogether.
– “GQ”

WORST WORDS:
Highlights of the annual list compiled by Lake Superior State University in Sault Ste Marie MI of overused words it would like to see retired from the English language …
• ‘TomKat’, ‘Brangelina’ and any other cutesy combination of celebrity names.
• ‘i-anything’, as in ‘iPod’, ‘i-phone’, ‘i-meeting’ to label any product with a connection to the Internet.
• ‘Truthiness’, the word coined by Stephen Colbert that dictionary publisher Merriam-Webster says best sums up 2006.
• ‘We’re pregnant’, as is often said by expectant couples. Any woman who has given birth will tell you that ‘we’ did not deliver the baby.
• ‘Gitmo’, the US military shorthand for Guantanamo Bay Naval Base in Cuba.
• ‘Drug deal gone bad’. It’s hard to imagine one ‘gone good’.
– CBC News

FOR THE RECORD:
A Chinese man has set a world record for climbing the stairs of an 88-story skyscraper in Shanghai. Zhang Jincheng took 1 hour, 41 minutes, 50 seconds to reach the top floor of the Jinmao Tower, a total of 1,958 stairs, thereby setting a new “Guinness World Record” with his feat … or maybe his feet.
– China Radio International

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• JANUARY has the fewest marriages of any month of the year. Coincidently, it also has the fewest divorces.
– “Globe & Mail”
• Most bosses surveyed say it takes employees 2 full days to get back to normal after the holidays. In the meantime, they spend more time swapping stories about the holiday season than they do working.
– Office Team poll.

AND WE QUOTE:
• “I don’t know if the pants still fit … but I know the hat will.”
– 64-year-old actor Harrison Ford on filling the role of ‘Indiana Jones’ in a 4th film, due to begin shooting THIS YEAR. It’s been 19 years since the last movie in the series.
• “I am opposed to a child growing up with 2 gay parents. A child needs a father and a mother. I can’t imagine my childhood without my mother.”
– Mommy’s boy Stefano Dolce, of design house Dolce & Gabbana.

THE BULL SHEET 01.03.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [81] Sir George Martin, Holloway UK, really rich record producer (The Beatles)

1945 [62] Stephen Stills, Dallas TX, classic rock singer (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young-“Woodstock”)/double Rock & Roll Hall of Fame member for CSN&Y and Buffalo Springfield

1956 [51] Mel (Columcille Gerard) Gibson, Peekskill NY, movie producer/director (“Apocalypto”, “The Passion of the Christ”)/movie actor (“Signs”, “Lethal Weapon” series)

1969 [38] Michael Schumacher, Hurth-Hermulheim, Germany, just retired Formula-1 race car driver/world’s first billionaire athlete/7-time F-1 champ with a total of 91 victories/brother of F-1 driver Ralf Schumacher

1981 [26] Eli Manning, New Orleans LA, NFL QB (NY Giants)/#1 overall pick in the 2004 NFL draft/brother of Indianapolis Colt QB Peyton Manning/son of NFL veteran Archie Manning

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Covered Cherry Day”. Just what you need … an excuse to pork on yet another pound.
• “Festival of Sleep Day”, as declared by some anonymous walking zombie somewhere. Thanks to a combination of late hours, alcohol, rich foods, exposure to unfamiliar surroundings and artificial light deep into the night over the holiday season, experts say most of us build up ‘sleep debt’, a condition which can affect how well we sleep for weeks afterward.
• “Full Moon”, known as the “Wolf Moon”. Amid the cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Native American villages. Thus, the name for JANUARY’s Full Moon. It has also been referred to as the “Old Moon”, or the “Moon After Yule”.
• “JRR Tolkien’s Birthday” (1892-1973), the 115th anniversary of his birth in Bloemfontein, South Africa. The Oxford University professor of English Language & Literature first published “The Hobbit” in 1937, and the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy in 1954-55 … for which his heirs should now be extremely grateful.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [03] Britney Spears weds hometown pal Jason Alexander at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas NV and then, 55 hours later, has the union annulled

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1987 [20] Aretha Franklin becomes the 1st female solo artist inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1871 [136] Henry Bradley of Binghamton NY patents ‘Margarine’ (“I can’t believe it’s not lard!”)

1888 [119] 1st ‘Drinking Straws’ patented, which are hand-rolled until 1905 (1st kid gets yelled at for blowing bubbles in milk)

1977 [30] ‘Apple Computers’ incorporated

1991 [16] 1st ‘Super Soaker’ squirt guns appear on the market (1st little sister tattles on brother for dousing her)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Trivia Day
[Fri] Show & Tell Day at Work
[Sat] National Smith Day
[Sun] Orthodox Christmas
[Mon] Volunteer Firemen Day
[Mon] Clean-Off-Your-Desk Day
This Week Is … New Year’s Resolutions Week
This Month Is … Celebration of Life Month

BULL’S BITS

REAL BUT REALLY WACKED TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “5 Injured When Ouija Planchette Leaps From Board in Search of Semicolon!”
• “33% of Prayers Are Intercepted or Jammed by Satan!”
• “Yogic Flying Eases Commute!”
• “Swiss 5 O’Clock Shadow Appears at EXACTLY 5 O’Clock!”
• “Owls Fail Intelligence Test!”

BS PHONE STARTER:
When should you take down the holiday decorations?

BS INTERVIEW:
In a pilot program, the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Sarasota FL is now offering the services of a personal masseuse … for pets. A simple dog massage will set you back $130. For another $220, the Ritz will throw in an in-room pet massage, gourmet dog biscuits, a choice of nail buffing or nail polish, a souvenir photo, a brisk walking tour for your pooch, and a gourmet meal of organic stew and designer water … served on a silver tray.
PHONER: 941.309.2000 (Darlene Davison, Spa Director)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Studies show that Wednesday around noon is the best time to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Call customer service.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Swallow your pride; it is non-fattening.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
A big moo-out to Chris Kuchar @ KBS [CJAT] Trail BC who has just re-upped for more “BS”; and we welcome back longtime subscriber Dave Wingert, now at News Radio 1110 [KFAB] Omaha NE; and “The Bull Sheet” salutes samplers this week that include Natale Means @ Country 92.9 [KAFF] Flagstaff AZ; Regina McKinney @ 91.3 FM [WIUV] Castleton VT; Kevin Blanford @ 95.9 The Ranch [KFWR] Fort Worth TX; Stone Jackson @ Fox FM [CFGW] Yorkton SK; and Joaquina Jones @ AM 1560 [WBOL] Bolivar TN. Remember BSers, we bonus you ONE FREE MONTH of service for each and every new subscriber you refer!


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