Friday, January 25, 2019 – Edition: #6380

You Really Know Your Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Get ready to say your goodbyes to “Suits”.  USA has renewed the legal drama for a 10-episode ninth and final season.  The show is currently airing its eighth season, with the back half of season eight premiering on Wednesday night. As for whether previous stars will return for the show’s farewell season – including, say, Meghan Markle, who was reportedly offered millions in charitable donations to make a cameo appearance — creator Aaron Korsh said they just haven’t figured that out yet.
-MSN
★ Jay Leno is opening up about his supposed beef with fellow comedians. While guesting on “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen”, Leno got candid about his late-night rivals David Letterman and Conan O’Brien. In 1992, Leno took over “The Tonight Show”, though many believed Letterman would be the one to score the job. While it appears there has been tension between the two, Leno claimed that’s not the case, saying “We don’t hate each other.  The media makes a big thing about it. I am a huge fan.” When asked if he had any regrets about how he handled the conflict that arose with him ousting O’Brien from “The Tonight Show” in 2009, he said:  “I can’t think of anything I’d do different. Look, they’re ratings-based shows.”
-MSN
★ “Bohemian Rhapsody” director Bryan Singer has been accused of engaging in sexual misconduct with underage boys in a new expose. “The Atlantic” published a report on Wednesday in which four men accuse him of having sexual encounters with them in the late 1990s, when they were teenagers. Singer was previously accused of sexual assault by Michael Egan in 2014, but that case was later dropped. He is also being sued by another man, who claims the filmmaker sexually assaulted him in 2003 – when he was 17. Singer has denied the claim.
-Canoe
★ Sandra Bullock is teaming up with director Chris McKay for an adaptation of the “Reborn” comic book. Reborn centers on Bonnie Black, an 80-year-old woman who dies and finds herself resurrected in Adystria, a land filled with magical monsters and dragons. She’s once again in the prime of her life, and finds all of her loved ones there, except for her late husband. In order to find him, she must become a hero.
-HollywoodReporter

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Matt LeBlanc, Nikki & Brie Bella, Jo Firestone
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Goodman
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Allison Williams, Ryan Eggold, Sam Richardson, Jason McGerr (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jennifer Aniston, Dolly Parton, Leon Bridges (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Colin Quinn, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Pretty Woman”
• “The Talk” (CBS): Rachel Brosnahan, Michael Zegen, guest co-host Brooke Shields
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Nene Leakes, Lecy Goranson, Brit Morin, guest co-host Katie Lowes
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): James Corden, Beth Stern

SATURDAY-
• “Amanda Seales: I Be Knowin” (HBO): Comedian Amanda Seales makes her stand-up debut in an hour-long special.
• “Snowcoming” (HALLMARK): Samantha returns home for her town’s winter festival. Her hopes for a quiet visit are dashed when she discovers NFL quarterback and high school sweetheart Jake is also there.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host James McAvoy, with musical guest Meek Mill

SUNDAY-
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Nene Leakes, Michael Rapaport
• “25th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards” (TBS): Megan Mullally emcees the 25th annual gala, which honors outstanding film and TV performances. Alan Alda receives the Life Achievement Award.
• “Rent” (FOX): Three-hour live production of the multiple-award-winning musical stars Kiersey Clemons, Tinashe, Brandon Victor Dixon, and Vanessa Hudgens

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Cardi B – is the latest celebrity to sign up for an extended residency at the Palms Casino Resort. The deal was announced Wednesday as part of a new day and nightclub opening at the resort called “KAOS”.
• Ariana Grande – has revealed the cover art for her upcoming  “thank u, next” album, featuring an upside-down photo of the singer.  She describes it as her “fav album cover.”  It comes out Feb. 8.
• Michael Jackson — A stage musical about him will premiere in Chicago later this year before heading to Broadway in 2020. “Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough” will begin pre-Broadway performances at Chicago’s Nederlander Theatre on Oct. 29 and run through Dec. 1.
• Paul McCartney – has revealed the cover of his upcoming children’s book “Hey Grandude!”.  The cover and artwork were done by Toronto-based illustrator Kathryn Durst, who says she worked closely with McCartney on the “retired hippie-ish” design of the book.  The title was inspired by a nickname given to Paul by one of his grandchildren.
• KISS — have announced the ninth edition of the annual “KISS Kruise”. The 2019 run will set sail aboard the Norwegian Pearl from Miami, FL to Great Stirrup Cay, Bahamas and Falmouth, Jamaica October 30 – November 4.  Musical guests haven’t yet been announced, but members of the “KISS Navy” can book their boarding passes at  www.thekisskruise.com
• Green Day — are selling a bunch of their old equipment – including the first guitar Billie Joe Armstrong ever owned and used on ‘Dookie’.  Their official Reverb Shop opens on February 7.
• Roger Waters — used his private jet to reunite a mother with her two children who had been kidnapped and abandoned in Syria. He flew the mom from Trinidad and Tobago to get her sons, who were abducted in 2014 by their Islamic State fighter father, who is believed to have died in battle.
• Carrie Underwood – posted three pics of her newborn son, Jacob Bryan Fisher, who was born on Monday.  The first shows her husband holding his new son, In the second, the proud mom cradles the newborn to her chest. The third pic is of big brother Isaiah holding his new sibling.
• Maren Morris – her ‘Girl’ video was released on YouTube yesterday.  She was on hand to live chat with fans on her YouTube channel during its premiere.
• Garth Brooks – announced on his weekly Facebook “Inside Studio G” livecast that his forthcoming studio album will be entitled “Fun”.  Quote: “The title of the album was sparked because making it has been such a fun process to go through.”

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Serenity” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery):  The mysterious past of a fishing boat captain comes back to haunt him when his ex-wife tracks him down with a desperate plea for help, ensnaring his life in a new reality that may not be all that it seems. (Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Diane Lane)
• “The Kid Who Would Be King” (PG, Action/Family):  Alex thinks he’s just another nobody, until he stumbles upon the mythical Sword in the Stone, Excalibur. Now, he must unite his friends and enemies into a band of knights and, together with the legendary wizard Merlin, take on the wicked enchantress. (Rebecca Ferguson, Tom Taylor, Patrick Stewart)
• “King of Thieves” (R-Rated, Drama):  A crew of retired crooks pull off a major heist in London’s jewelry district. What starts off as their last criminal hurrah quickly turns into a brutal nightmare. Based on infamous true events. (Michael Caine, Charlie Cox)
• “In Like Flynn” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): Biopic depicting Errol Flynn’s roust-about early life in Australia, before he became an internationally famed celebrity. (Clive Standen, Nathalie Kelley)

THAT’S SICK:
A company is trying to sell used tissues…for $80.  You’ve heard of chicken pox parties, where parents send their kids to be exposed to the virus to get it over and done with?  Now, a company is claiming to do the same thing with the cold virus.  And it’s not the children they’re after.  It’s YOU.  Vaev is selling used, germ-filled tissues with the sole purpose of giving the user a cold virus.  They tell you to “wipe your nose with the sullied tissue, and you’ll get sick on your own terms.”
(But the thing is that I don’t WANT to get sick!)
(I’m not sure about the science here, but I’m pretty sure they don’t either…)
-Time

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
➢ A driver tried to destroy a massive, nine-foot tall snowman — only to discover that Frosty was built on a tree stump.  Three people decided to build a large snowman in their front yard after a recent snowfall Petersburg, KY.  When completed, they documented their achievement with a Facebook photo, which shows “Frosty” towering over his three creators.  Later, a photo was posted of the snowman with tire tracks leading up to the sculpture’s lower half, exposing the tree trunk that was supporting the snowman.  The builder wrote:  “What they didn’t count on, is the massive stump in the center. Life is hard, but it’s much harder when you’re stupid.”
(…and the children say he could laugh and play…unlike that Chevrolet…!)
-CTV
➢ A Manitoba driver tried to trash his speeding ticket in front of the officer who gave it to him – and was promptly fined for littering.  Manitoba RCMP posted a video Tuesday showing a driver taking his (or her) freshly-issued speeding ticket and holding it out the window, where it’s caught by the wind and blown away.  The driver was subsequently issued a $174 ticket for littering. No word on whether that ticket went out the window, too.
(What ticket?)
-Global
➢ A Russian man begged a judge to let his girlfriend go free after she stabbed him 13 times, almost killing him.  Why?  He wanted to marry her.  And he took the occasion of her courtroom sentencing to propose.  The man, named Shakur, begged the judge for leniency so they could arrange their marriage.  The judge reportedly postponed the sentencing.
(Ever notice how some guys think a woman is hitting on him, no matter what she does?)
-FOX13

DID YOU KNOW?
KFC has announced the release of a gravy-scented candle.  The company is offering them for free to the first 230 people who apply online. The company said in a release: “You really can now fill your home with the aroma of KFC gravy with this limited-edition candle…it’s staggeringly nose stimulating.” They are only available in the United Kingdom.
(My house usually smells like that anyway…)
-FOX35

BS CHRONOMETER 01.25.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [66] The Honky Tonk Man (Roy Wayne Farris), Gilbert, AZ, professional wrestler, (held the WWF Intercontinental Championship for a record 64 weeks, currently working in the independent circuit)

1962 [57] Chris Chelios, Chicago, IL, former pro hockey player (3-time Stanley Cup champ, second oldest person to play in the NHL (at age 48 in 2010)

1981 [38] Alicia Keys (Augello-Cook), NYC, pop-R&B singer (‘Fallin’’, w/Jay Z-‘Empire State of Mind’)/sometime movie actress (“The Secret Life of Bees”, “The Nanny Diaries”)/music coach (“The Voice” 2016-18)/scheduled to host Grammy Awards on Feb 10

1985 [34] Michael Trevino, Montebello CA, TV actor (‘Tyler Lockwood’ on “The Vampire Diaries” 2009-2017)

1996 [23] Calum Hood, Sydney NSW, Australia, pop vocalist-bassist (5 Seconds to Summer-‘Amnesia’, ‘Don’t Stop’)

SATURDAY-
Movie actor David Strathairn (“Bourne” films) is 70; Rock guitarist Eddie Van Halen is 64; TV personality Ellen Degeneres is 61; Hockey player Wayne Gretzky is 58; Pop singer Andrew Ridgeley (Wham!) is 56

SUNDAY-
TV actor Alan Cumming (“The Good Wife”) is 54; Country singer Tracy Lawrence (“Find Out Who Your Friends Are”) is 51; Comedian/actor Patton Oswalt (“Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”) is 50; TV actor Guillermo Rodriguez (“Jimmy Kimmel Live!”) is 48; Movie actress Rosamund Pike (“Gone Girl”) is 40

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Robbie Burns Day”, party time for Scots everywhere! Honoring Scotland’s national poet who was born January 25, 1759 and whose most famous composition was ‘Auld Lang Syne’.  A traditional “Burns Supper” includes cock-a-leekie soup (fowl, leeks, and herbs), haggis (minced sheep’s heart, lungs, and liver mixed with oatmeal), neeps and tatties (mashed turnip and potatoes). The meal is then washed down with Scotch whisky toasts. (***See “Scots or Not?”, below***)

• “Intravenous Nurse Day”, saluting nurses whose main ambition in life is finding a good vein in patients’ forearms in which to insert a needle.  In fact, medical insiders will tell you nurses often ogle and discuss the veins of unsuspecting people in public places. This is known as “nurse porn”.

• “Irish Coffee Day”, a delicious cocktail made with black coffee, sugar, Irish whiskey, and whipped cream. Joe Sheridan, a bartender at Foynes Airbase in Ireland, invented the concoction in 1942 as replenishment after a miserably cold 18-hour journey across the Atlantic.

• “Opposite Day”, a day to do everything backwards (ie: eat wrong-handed, say the opposite of what you mean) as a fun way to get out of your tedious, day-in, day-out, lackluster, humdrum, milquetoast, run-of-the-mill rut.  (I’m wearing my socks on the wrong feet!)

• Fun At Work Day”, because experts say when we enjoy our work, we are more productive. Here are a few suggestions . . .
✓ Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (Especially effective if your boss is a different gender.)
✓ Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
✓ Include a piece of your kid’s artwork as a cover page for all reports you write.
✓ When answering your phone, talk in a fake British accent.
✓ Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. (“That’s a good point, Sparky.”)
✓ Take a picture of your boss, have it framed and display it prominently on your desk.
✓ Leave the photocopy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies.
✓ Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them EXACTLY what you’re doing. (“If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”)
✓ Pretend your computer mouse is a CB radio mike. Talk to it.

SATURDAY-
• “Australia Day”, the national day for our mates Down Under, commemorating the 1788 landing of Captain Arthur Phillip at Sydney to establish a penal colony.  Records of an annual celebration date back to 1808.
• “Peanut Brittle Day”, celebrating the yummy treat that sticks to your fillings. A little sugar, a little corn syrup, a little more sugar, some peanuts, a little butter, a little more sugar …
• “Spouse’s Day”, a time to enjoy and appreciate your better half. (Just before you deposit this month’s alimony.)

SUNDAY-
• “International Holocaust Remembrance Day”, an annual memorial day commemorating the victims of the holocaust initiated by the WWII Nazi regime and its collaborators.
• “National Geographic Day”, marking the 1888 foundation of the National Geographic Society in Washington DC by a diverse group of geographers, explorers, teachers, lawyers, cartographers, military officers, and financiers.
• “Thomas Crapper Day”, in honor of the man who invented the toilet flush mechanism, on the anniversary of his death in 1910. Thomas Crapper & Co became engineers by appointment to the English ‘throne’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [15] “The Lord Of the Rings: Return Of the King” wins both musical categories (‘Best Original Score’, ‘Best Original Song’) at the “Golden Globe Awards”

2017 [02] Mary Tyler Moore, best known for her roles on the sitcoms “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and “The Dick Van Dyke Show”, dies at 80

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2003 [16] Billy Joel escapes relatively unharmed when he totals his Mercedes-Benz on a Long Island NY highway (his defence: he was in a “mental fog” caused by lingering depression due to the 9/11 attacks … 16½ months earlier)

2011 [08] 53-year-old Canadian singer Mary-Lu Zahalan-Kennedy becomes first in the world to graduate from Liverpool Hope University with a Masters degree in ‘The Beatles’

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1924 [95] The first Winter Olympic Games begin in Chamonix, France

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The Burj Khalifa (tower) is so tall, you can watch the sun set from the ground level, then take an elevator to the top and watch the sun set again.
✓ If you were to live in complete darkness, your body would eventually adjust to a 48-hour-day schedule, staying awake for 36 hours and sleeping for 12.
✓ Chewing gum while studying, then chewing the same flavored gum while taking a test can help you remember what you studied.
✓ You’re 10 times more likely to be bitten by a New Yorker than a shark.
✓ Listening to sad music when you’re feeling sad can actually make you happier.
✓ July 14th is said to be the happiest day of the year… Only 172 days to go.
-WhattheFFacts

BS REJECTED NAMES FOR WINTER STORMS:
• Snow Way Out
• SpongeBob SnowPants
• McFlurry
• Meh.  It’ll pass
• Cold Yeller
• Fast and the Flurriest
• The Dusting
• Steve
• Blowy McBlowface
• Apocalypse Snow
• Heatwave
-Twitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
What was the absolute worst movie of 2018? These pics are nominees for “Worst Picture” at the 39th Razzie Awards’ “Worst Picture’ award on Feb. 23 . . .
✗ “Gotti”
✗ “The Happytime Murders”
✗ “Holmes & Watson”
✗ “Robin Hood”
✗ “Winchester”
(For us, it was a dead heat between “The Meg” and “Fifty Shades Freed”)

BS ‘SCOTS OR NOT?’
A mirthful way to celebrate “Robbie Burns Day”. Which of the following were born in Scotland?
• “Mortdecai” actor Ewan McGregor. (Aye, he’s a Scot. Born in Perth, Scotland in 1971.)
• Classic rocker Rod Stewart. (Och, he’s not! Born in the Highgate area of London.)
• Tennis star Andy Murray. (Scot. Born in Glasgow in 1987.)
• “300” movie actor Gerard Butler. (Scot, born in Paisley in 1969.)
• AC/DC guitarist Angus Young. (Scot, born in Glasgow in 1955.)
• Author JK Rowling (Not. English-born but “Harry Potter” was written in Edinburgh, her adopted home.)
• Comedian and “Whose Line Is It?” star Colin Mochrie. (Scot, born in Kilmarnock; moved to Canada at age 7.)
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay. (Aye, a Scot. Born in Johnstone, Renfrewshire, Scotland.)
• Designer Tommy Hilfiger. (Not, but claims direct descent from Robert Burns on his mother’s side.)
• Movie actor Liam Neeson. (Not. He might have played famed Scot “Rob Roy” but he’s Irish.)
– Sourced from FamousBirthdays.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Almost 20% of women say THIS is the greatest sound in the world.  What?
Answer:  A wine bottle being opened and poured

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.