Monday, January 21, 2019 Edition: #6376
Deja Moo!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Saturday Night Live returned on the weekend for it’s first show of 2019, and despite the troubling messages he posted last month, Pete Davidson was cracking jokes at his own expense. Explaining that fellow comedian John Mulaney had been teaching him that he “can have a life in comedy that is not insane”, Davidson joked: “After observing John’s life, I publicly threatened suicide.” Then, at the end of his segment, in a reference to ex-fiancé Ariana Grande, he shouted: “I didn’t mention her once!”
-YahooStyle
★ Wendy Williams will be taking a long break from her show to deal with a serious medical issue. Williams gave fans an update on her medical condition on Friday with a statement saying, “As Wendy Williams Hunter previously shared, she fractured her shoulder and has been on the mend. Over the past few days, Wendy has experienced complications regarding her Graves’ Disease that will require treatment. Despite her strong desire to return, she is taking a necessary, extended break from her show to focus on her personal and physical well-being.” “The Wendy Williams Show” has been in reruns since December 24. The show will air repeats this week and resume with a variety of hosts on January 28.
-TheBlast
★ Dean McDermott, who shares five children with wife Tori Spelling, fired back at Instagram trolls who body-shamed and bullied their kids. Hours after Spelling shared a family photo, Instagram users flooded her post with comments about the kids’ appearance, with one user writing that the children look like they “feed and clothe themselves.” McDermott responded that trolls calling his kids “overweight” were “mean” and wrote that “They’re going through different growth phases, and even if our children are on the bigger side, who cares? They’re happy and healthy and I’m sorry they don’t look like skinny supermodels.” He also thanked those who came to his family’s defence.
-MSN
★ Don Cheadle is erring on the side of caution. During an appearance on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” on Thursday, Cheadle revealed that he probably won’t be doing any press with his “Avengers: Endgame” co-star, Mark Ruffalo, because, as he jokingly said, “He runs his mouth a lot. I don’t need to be sitting next to him when he blows the whole reveal of the movie.” In 2017, Ruffalo infamously shared a little too much about the ending of “Avengers: Infinity War” while doing an interview for “Good Morning America” alongside Cheadle.
-PageSix
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Intermission Accomplished: A Halftime Tribute to Trump, featuring Will Arnett, Alyssa Milano, Fred Willard, Jake Johnson, Fred Armisen, Anthony Atamanuik
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kerry Washington, JoJo Siwa, Joe Jackson
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Method Man
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Colin Jost, Michael Che, Andrea Savage, Death Cab for Cutie, Venzella Joy
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Julia Roberts, Jason Momoa, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, She & Him (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Conan Without Borders: Japan (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jimmy Kimmel
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Spike Lee, Killer Mike, Yolanda Adams & Miles Caton
• “The Talk” (CBS): Vanessa Hudgens, Lil Rel Howery
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Viggo Mortenson, Jordan Fisher, Kane Brown
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Matthew McConaughey, Adam Levine, Blake Shelton
• “Celebrity Big Brother” (CBS): Housemates include Kato Kaelin, Ryan Lochte, Dina Lohan, Joey Lawrence, and Anthony Scaramucci.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Mark Ronson — has signed on as the first resident DJ at On The Record, the speakeasy and club which opened Dec. 28 at Park MGM in Las Vegas. He will DJ for 12 dates this year, beginning Feb. 2.
• Cardi B – her daughter Kulture is already a hip-hop fan. Cardi took to Twitter to share some of her 6-month-old’s favorite tunes. She wrote that Kulture likes her mom’s collaborations ‘I Like It’ and ‘Taki Taki’, her dad Offset’s ‘Ric Flair Drip’, J Balvin’s ‘Mi Gente’ and the choice of every baby these days: “the whole baby shark mixtape”.
• Spice Girls — Mel C has invited Saara Aalto to replace Victoria Beckham. The girl group are set to tour this summer without founding member Beckham, who is focusing on her fashion line. Aalto was runner-up in the 13th season of “X-Factor UK” in 2016.
• R. Kelly – He and Sony Music have reportedly parted ways. Last week, protesters called on executives at the label to drop him following the release of the documentary “Surviving R. Kelly”, which chronicled the accounts of women who allege they were physically and sexually abused by him.
• Bryan Adams – his new single ‘Shine a Light’, was co-written by Ed Sheeran. It is the title track from Adams’ upcoming 14th studio album, which comes out March 1. It will also feature a duet with Jennifer Lopez on the song ‘That’s How Strong Our Love Is’.
• Huey Lewis & The News – will release their first new album since 2001 this spring. Less than a year ago, Lewis was facing the prospect of never singing again due to a condition known as Meniere’s disease, which causes severe disorientation, feelings of intense vertigo and hearing loss.
• Robbie Robertson – The former leader of “The Band” will receive the Canadian Music Industry Hall of Fame Lifetime Achievement Award. He will be honoured for his exceptional contributions to the music industry in Toronto on May 9, 2019.
• Maren Morris – says that her song ‘Girl’ was originally a letter to a female friend who she was not getting along with. She soon realized that she was actually writing the letter to herself. “Girl” is also the name of her headlining tour with Cassadee Pope and RaeLynn, which begins March 9 in Chicago.
• Luke Bryan — has officially announced his 2019 Sunset Repeat Tour, which will feature supporting acts Cole Swindell and Jon Langston. It begins May 31 in Philadelphia, Pa., and will continue through the summer, wrapping on Oct. 12 in Raleigh, NC.
TAKE ONE OF THESE AND SEND ME A NOTIFICATION IN THE MORNING:
In an effort to combat some patients’ fibbing and forgetfulness when it comes to taking their medicine, some doctors are trying something new: An app. They prescribe a pill embedded with a tiny sensor. The sensor transmits data from inside the patient’s body to a wearable patch placed on their abdomen, which sends info to a mobile app that patients and doctors can access. The data received allows doctors to monitor a patient’s heart rate, activity level and sleep cycle, plus information on if and when they are taking their prescription. The sensor is about the size of a grain of sand and dissolves in the gastrointestinal tract. Information is compiled in a database that doctors and patients can access from their devices.
(Side effects include nausea, dizziness and Russians stealing your medical data…)
(I find that hard to swallow…)
(Now, the problem is going to be getting the patient to take THAT pill…)
-WashingtonPost
IS JOE IN JEOPARDY?
Two studies released last week say that more than half of all coffee species are at risk of extinction. New research from Britain’s Kew Royal Botanical Gardens found that upwards of 60 per cent of the world’s wild coffee species are in danger of being eradicated due to deforestation, climate change and plant diseases. Climate change is also being blamed for making coffee taste worse. The most popular bean used for commercial coffee production, arabica, is already on the endangered species list and could be completely extinct within 60 years.
(Can you imagine the inconvenience of a world with 60% less coffee? Not to mention the sleepiness!)
(On the plus side, I wouldn’t mind seeing 60% fewer coffee cups laying around…)
(I think we could improve things if we could just get [CO-HOST] to cut back a bit…)
-OttawaCitizen
HELP YOURSELF TO SOME PUNCH:
Boxing is being called the best workout of 2019. But not the dingy gyms where you saw Rocky sweating it out during his training montages. Today’s boxing workouts are taking place in big-city fitness studios that could pass as a hardcore version SoulCycle, but instead of bikes, the room is filled with bags hanging from the ceiling. Celebrities were among the first to hop the current wave of boxing-as-fitness trend, showing that you don’t have to hit people to get a great workout from boxing. The combination of inviting workout spaces, trainers who aren’t bullies, and circuit-style classes is said to be what is attracting many who otherwise would never consider donning a pair of 14-ounce gloves. Aspiring sluggers spend about half of each session clobbering the bags, and the other half executing strength exercises using body weight, dumbells and light weights. Without the combat, boxing is said to still be a killer workout, improving your strength, flexibility, speed, balance, agility, endurance and coordination. Classes can cost in the neighborhood of $36.
(I’d still probably be KO’d!)
(I wasn’t worried as much about hitting people as I was worried about being HIT!)
(Sounds great. What do they have at the snack bar?)
-WallStreetJournal
DUMBEST THINGS EVER SAID ON TELEVISION:
➢ “Is that a chicken?” – Kylie Jenner on “Keeping up With the Kardashians” when Kris Jenner is seen holding a pet pig.
➢ “There is no such things as a chemical imbalance.” – Tom Cruise on the “Today Show” just before also claiming that psychiatry is a pseudoscience.
➢ “When a president does it, it means it is not illegal.” – Richard Nixon in an interview with David Frost about allegedly being involved in illegal activity.
➢ “Everything bad that could happen to a person has happened to me.” – Paris Hilton in a CNN interview, speaking about her hard childhood. Her father has a net worth of $300 million.
➢ “Is this chicken that I have or fish? I know it’s tuna.” – Jessica Simpson on “Newlyweds”. She knew she was eating tuna but wasn’t completely sure since the brand was called “Chicken of The Sea.”
➢ “Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.” – Alex Rodriguez, third baseman for the New York Yankees.
– List 25
DID YOU KNOW?
The average NFL fan dedicates 46 hours per month to their favorite team. This can include thinking, talking and reading about their team, as well as watching them play.
-Ticketmaster
BS CHRONOMETER 01.21.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [68] Billy Ocean, Trinidad, Pop/R&B singer (‘Caribbean Queen’, ‘Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car’)
(1956 [63] (Virginia) Geena Davis, Wareham MA, movie actress (“Thelma & Louise”, Oscar-“The Accidental Tourist”)/TV actress (‘Dr. Nicole Herman’ in “Grey’s Anatomy” 2014–2015, 2018)
1972 [47] Cat Power (Charlyn Marshall), Atlanta, GA, singer-songwriter/model (feat. Lana Del Rey-‘Woman’)
1976 [43] Emma Bunton (Baby Spice), London UK, pop singer (Spice Girls-‘Wannabe’, ‘Spice Up Your Life’)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Blue Monday”, the third Monday of January has been awarded this gloomy title due to a combination of post-Christmas blues, cold dark nights and the arrival of unpaid credit card bills. Though we may say we hate Mondays, a 2008 Australian study found that the day that scores lowest for most employees’ morale is actually Wednesday. (If you can imagine hating “Hump Day”!)
• “Martin Luther King Day” in America, a federal holiday observed annually on the 3rd Monday of January celebrating the life and achievements of late civil rights leader Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-68). King’s equal rights campaign is documented in the movie “Selma”.
• “Granola Bar Day”, saluting the former healthful treat that is now more than likely loaded with sugar, salt, chocolate, and some kind of hardened white gunk that they claim is yogurt.
• “Hugging Day”, a day to hug anyone who will accept one. See how many you can hug before the day is over (but make sure you have a lawyer on retainer).
NET: http://www.nationalhuggingday.com
• “Squirrel Appreciation Day”. There are over 200 types of squirrels in North America alone, which can be put into three groups: Ground squirrels, tree squirrels and flying squirrels, which cannot actually fly, but have flaps of skin that allow them to glide from tree to tree (or from my roof to my bird feeder…)
• “Elementary School Teachers Day”, honoring those who spend all day with our kids because we certainly couldn’t. You just might be a teacher if …
☞ You can’t have children of your own because there is no name you could give a kid that
wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.
☞ Meeting a student’s parents instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”
☞ You can tell there’s a full moon without even looking outside.
☞ You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to have holidays & summers free.”
☞ You believe ‘Shallow Gene Pool’ should have it’s own box on the report card.
☞ You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] National Polka Dot Day
[Tues] Roe vs. Wade Day
[Wed] Handwriting Day
[Wed] National Pie Day
This Week Is…Hunt for Happiness Week
This Month Is…National Oatmeal Month
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1978 [42] The “Saturday Night Fever” soundtrack album hits #1 in the US and stays there for an astonishing 24 weeks
2012 [07] Adele hits #1 on the album chart with her 2nd studio album “21”, which yields 5 hit singles and eventually sells over 31 million copies worldwide
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1976 [43] The 1st Concorde “supersonic transports” with commercial passengers simultaneously take flight and achieve speeds well over the sound barrier at 1,350 mph
1986 [33] 100 participate in the 1st “Nude Olympics” in 38 F (3 C) weather in Purdue, Indiana
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2009 [10] Toyota officially passes GM to become the world’s largest automaker
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Your brain literally heats up when you’re stressed – smiling can cool it down.
✓ People who walk at a quicker pace are generally seen as more confident and happier than those who walk at a slower pace.
✓ Believing you’ve had a good night’s sleep, even if you haven’t, can improve your performance.
✓ Harvard research determined that using sarcasm can make you more creative.
✓ Not making your bed exposes dust mites to fresh air and light, dehydrating them and reducing the number of allergens in your bed.
✓ The U.S. government set beer next to an atomic bomb blast to see if it was still drinkable. They determined that even during a nuclear war, beer would still be safe.
-WhattheFFacts
BS FAKE MALL FACTS:
• Malls do no holiday decorating.
• Old Navy is only for retired Naval Officers.
• Honking in the parking lot will make shoppers exit their parking space more quickly.
• There is a Dr. Seuss book entitled “I Hate the Mall, I Hate Them All!”
• Everyone in the UK calls it the “mall”, not the “shopping centre”.
• Game Stop is a detox center for video game addicts.
• Spending too much money there really does fill that gaping void in your life.
• Paul Blart is an inaccurate portrayal of mall security.
• The smell of the cinnamon roll, cookie, and pretzel places never, ever entices you to buy something.
• All the really cool people hang out at the Croc store.
• You will never find a husband waiting on a bench outside a store.
-Twitter
BS HOW COLD IS IT?
It’s so cold that …
• You have to open the freezer to warm your house up.
• You’re really hoping for a heated argument with your wife.
• You actually spot a teenager with his pants pulled up.
• I had to kick a hole in the cold to get outside.
• The zoo had to move the polar bears indoors.
• Exotic dancers have been strongly advised to pre-warm their poles.
• Police told a crook to “freeze”, and he did.
• I’m looking forward to getting a fever.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What artist started your love for music?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk but I never got the chants.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 15% of people say that they have cried at work because of THIS. What?
Answer: A performance review
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
