Tuesday, January 28, 2020       Edition: #6621

The BS Press…!

★ Seth Macfarlane has donated $1 million to help wildlife in Australia amid the horrifying bushfires. The “Family Guy” creator donated the whopping sum to the Australia Zoo Wildlife Hospital, which is the wildlife rescue centre located inside Australia Zoo, owned by the Irwin family and set up by the late Steve Irwin.
★ The infamous comedy duo Cheech and Chong, who gained a cult following for their hilarious stoner escapades, have revealed they’ve set their sights on writing a horror film. Why? According to 81-year-old Tommy Chong, “Every comedy team before they broke up, they always had a horror movie. Abbott and Costello…Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, they had one.” Cheech and Chong last hit the big screen together in 1984 in “The Corsican Brothers”, but are keen to reunite. Chong says that although he’s writing a horror movie, he doubts it will ever be made.
★ Emily Blunt says she was ”gobsmacked” by the audience response to “A Quiet Place”. She starred opposite and was directed by her husband John Krasinski in the horror movie – and was not only taken aback by how popular the film proved to be, but also how much conversation it sparked concerning theories surrounding deeper themes. Krasinski admits that really, he wrote the original movie to be just “one thing”, with no sequel in mind. “A Quiet Place 2” hits theaters on March 20.
★ Kobe Bryant’s last Instagram post was a congratulations to LeBron James for surpassing his all-time scoring record. Bryant made the post late on Saturday evening, prompting many fans to praise his humility and sportsmanship. Hours later, the NBA legend tragically passed away in the helicopter crash that also took the life of his 13-year-old daughter Gianna and 7 others. There were no survivors.
★ The cast and crew of “Modern Family” are reeling after the loss of one of their own. Marsha Kramer, who portrayed Ed O’Neill’s assistant ‘Margaret’, has passed away. She was 74. Director Jeff Greenberg confirmed the news on Twitter, writing that his dear friend, who also gained fame for playing ‘Wendy’ alongside Sandy Duncan’s ‘Peter Pan’, had passed.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Magic Johnson, Ben Schwartz, Charlie Wilson
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Michael Bloomberg, Deepak Chopra, Rapsody featuring PJ Morton
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Antonio Banderas, Jay Hernandez, Coyote Peterson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): William Jackson Harper, Kevin Smith, Chris Coleman
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Cynthia Erivo, Ashton Kutcher, BTS
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Nicole Aimee Schreiber, Adam Ray, Tony Rock
• “Conan” (TBS): Kumail Nanjiani
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Tom Sandoval, Aidy Bryant
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Joseph “Rev Run” Simmons, Justine Simmons, Angella Henry, Michelle Kenney, Alissa Findley
• “The Talk” (CBS): Chrissy Metz
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Matt Bomer
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Justin Bieber
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jessica Alba, Kelsea Ballerini
• “Arrow” (CW): Season 8 finale
• “I Am Jazz” (TLC): Season 6 premiere. Jazz travels to New York for a third surgery to correct defects caused by complications during her gender confirmation surgery; while there, she attends the premiere of a film she starred in.

• Dua Lipa – has given fans a glimpse at her “Future Nostalgia” album with the announcement of her next single, ‘Physical’. The song, due on Friday, was revealed with a dramatic picture of Dua floating through the air in a patterned black and blue dress and animal-print tights/boots. She calls the album “’80s inspired”.
• Chance the Rapper — is going to host the reboot of the classic MTV prank show “Punk’d”. The original ran from 2003-07 and was created and hosted by Ashton Kutcher.
• Celine Dion – posted a touching tribute to her son Rene-Charles to mark his 19th birthday. She wrote on Instagram: ”My dear Rene-Charles, I’m so proud of the way you’re conducting yourself in life. You’re a true gentleman, and I want you to know that your father’s guidance continues to support and protect you… as I do”
• The Go-Go’s — reunited for the first time in decades on Friday night – but not onstage. They gathered to celebrate the premiere of their documentary, “The Go-Go’s,” at the Sundance Film Festival. At one point, the group ran into Elisabeth Moss, who sang Belinda Carlisle’s ‘Heaven Is a Place on Earth’ in a recent episode of “The Handmaid’s Tale.”
• Sammy Hagar & The Circle — will tour the US this summer with Whitesnake and Night Ranger. Hagar broke the news of a “39-40 city tour” during an interview prior to his appearance at the MusiCares Person Of The Year gala honoring Aerosmith.
• Phil Collins – says of his infamous 1985 Live Aid performance with a reunited Led Zeppelin that he felt like “a spare part”. According to him, the majority of his rehearsal came from listening to the band’s songs on the flight over.
• Alan Jackson — has received the “Joe Talbot Award.” for preserving country’s roots. The award, handed out by the Country Music Association, has only been won by seven other people, and Jackson is only the fourth artist. George Jones won it posthumously in 2015, as did Merle Haggard in 2016. Marty Stuart won it 2007.
• Miranda Lambert – celebrated the one-year anniversary of her marriage to Brendan McLoughlin by posting a stunning picture of the pair walking through a wooded landscape in their wedding gear with the caption: “I’m so happy to walk through this life with you. Thank you Brendan for making me the proudest wife and stepmom. You are the reason for all my new smile lines. I love you.”

➢ January 29:
• Night on Earth (Netflix Documentary): The producers of such documentaries as “Blue Planet” return with another nature documentary series, focusing on what the natural world is up to when it’s usually too dark for us to see it.
➢ January 30:
• The Stranger (Netflix original): Secrets, violence and a conspiracy send family man Adam Price on a desperate quest to uncover the truth about the people closest to him. (Richard Armitage)
➢ January 31:
• Bojack Horseman: Season 6 (Part B) (Netflix original): BoJack inches his way toward redemption as a stint in rehab forces him to confront his mistakes and start making amends.
• Uncut Gems (Netflix film): With his debts mounting and angry collectors closing in, a fast-talking New York City jeweler risks everything in hopes of staying afloat and alive. (Adam Sandler)
• I AM A KILLER: Season 2 (Netflix Original): Ten more episodes of this true-crime documentary series, where convicted murderers on death row tell their own stories about how they wound up killing someone.
➢ February 1:
The movies Changeling, Gone With The Wind, Munich, Nights In Rodanthe, P.S. I Love You, Red Sparrow, The Adventures Of Tintin, Wedding Crashers, You’ve Got Mail
(Full list: https://www.macleans.ca/culture/netflix-canada-in-january-2020-whats-new-this-month/ For releases in other Netflix regions, click here: https://www.whats-on-netflix.com/whats-new/ )

It turns out that reports of the death of the mall have been greatly exaggerated. According to the 2019 Canadian Shopping Centre Study, most of the Canada’s top shopping centers saw sales increases last year — and in one case, sales jumped by 47%. After years of naysayers predicting that online retailers would eventually be the death of the traditional brick-and-mortar shopping experience, it seems that malls have adjusted, in some cases spending millions on upgrades to make them more attractive to shoppers. There have also been changes in what a mall-goer can expect to see – including entertainment spaces, Tesla showrooms, and upgraded food courts that might now be referred to as “Food experiences”. It’s not all great news, though. Experts point out that while the high-end malls are thriving, many smaller so-called B and C-level malls – the ones that don’t feature luxury retailers – are struggling.
(The way I see it, as long as a mall has an Apple Store, it’s going to have traffic!)
(I thought the [***Local***] mall was doing OK when I had to park 3 miles away for the entire month of December!)

A sort-of disgusting new challenge is reportedly going viral on the video-sharing site “TikTok”, and it involves users eating cereal out of other people’s mouths. #CerealChallenge generally goes like this: One person pours cereal and milk into the mouth of another person, who is usually lying flat on their back. The first person then takes a spoon and eats the cereal out of the second person’s mouth as if it were a bowl. One user even shared video of a dog eating cereal out of a young man’s mouth.  There is already a lot of online criticism of the #CerealChallenge over concerns that someone could get hurt or even choke to death.
(Aaaaaand I have no desire to eat breakfast now….)
(Oh, no. There will never be a way to make Frosted Flakes ‘GRRRREAT’ again!)
(I don’t think it’s quite as dangerous as the Tide Pod Challenge….but it’s equally stupid!)

The Mitchell County Animal Rescue in Spruce Pine, North Carolina captured pet lovers’ attention on Wednesday when they posted a cheeky adoption notice for a cat named ‘Perdita’:
“Perdita, we thought she was sick, turns out she’s just a jerk. Perdita likes staring into your soul until you feel as if you may never be cheerful again, lurking in dark corners and fooling shelter staff into thinking she’s sick. Perdita does not like interacting with kittens, dogs and children, and hates being hugged by humans. She’s single and ready to be socially awkward with a socially awkward human who understands personal space.”
The shelter indicates that Perdita arrived at their facilities after her previous owner died. Adoption fees have been waived for this particular cat.
(And this makes her different from other cats how?)
(Maybe if we give her some “Friskies”?)

The average number of chicken wings eaten in a single sitting has doubled in the past two years, according to new research. A survey about eating habits found Americans now eat almost 16 wings per sitting, as opposed to a 2017 survey which found that people ate an average of just over 7 wings per sitting. One more thing…the majority of respondents in the newer survey (53%) believe that boneless wings should properly count as “wings.”


1936 [84] Alan Alda, New York City NY, TV actor (“M*A*S*H” 1972-1983, “The West Wing” 2004-06)

1968 [52] Sarah McLachlan, Halifax NS, pop singer (‘I Will Remember You’, ‘Angel’)/founder of “Lilith Fair” tour

1977 [43] Rick Ross (William Roberts II), Coahoma County MS, rapper (f/Drake & Chrisette Michele-‘Aston Martin Music’, f/T-Pain-‘The Boss’)

1977 [43] Joey Fatone, Brooklyn NY, pop singer (*NSYNC-‘Bye Bye Bye’)/TV host (“The Singing Bee”, 2007)/reality show contestant (2nd place on “Dancing With the Stars”, 2007)

1980 [40] Nick Carter, Jamestown NY, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-‘I Want It That Way’)

1981 [39] Elijah Wood, Cedar Rapids IA, movie actor (“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey”, “The Lord Of the Rings” trilogy)

1985 [35] J (Jermaine) Cole, Frankfurt, Germany, rapper (‘Nobody’s Perfect’, ‘Work Out’)

1993 [27] Will Poulter, London England, movie actor (“We’re The Millers”, “The Revenant”)

1998 [22] Ariel Winter, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (‘Alex Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

• “Daisy Day”,  the flower that symbolizes innocence and purity (also the best one for playing “he loves me, he loves me not”)

• “Blueberry Pancake Day”, because they’re nutritious enough to eat for breakfast, tasty enough for a mid-day snack, and easy enough to make for dinner. (If you can’t find your napkin, it’s probably stuck to your elbow…)
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-blueberry-pancake-day

• “Data Privacy Day”, to raise awareness about the importance of protecting the privacy of personal info online. It’s observed in Canada, the USA, and 27 European countries.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/zogpja5

• “National LEGO Day”, to celebrate these ingenious and enriching toys. How? You could visit a Legoland theme park (in Carlsbad, CA, and Winter Haven, FL — there’s also a Legoland Discovery Center in Tempe, AZ), you could watch one of the “Lego” movies, or you could simply build something with Lego. (Go all out and invite a kid to join you…) [***See “Today’s Firsts, below***]

• “Kazoo Day”, honors the (annoying) musical instrument that even the most untalented can play.

• “Pop Art Day”, celebrated annually on the anniversary of Jackson Pollock’s birth. Jackson Pollock’s works are classified as abstract expressionism, very different from the pop art of artists like Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein.

[Wed] Freethinkers Day
[Wed] National Puzzle Day
[Thurs] Yodel for Your Neighbors Day
[Thurs] National Croissant Day

1986 [34] The Space Shuttle Challenger explodes 73 seconds after liftoff from Cape Canaveral, killing all seven crew members on board, including Christa McAuliffe, who was to be the first teacher in space

2006 [14] Clint Eastwood becomes the 31st filmmaker in 70 years of Directors Guild of America (DGA) history to be given the organization’s ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’

1985 [35] With all the big names in American music in town for the American Music Awards, USA For Africa’s famine-relief single ‘We Are the World’ is recorded in Los Angeles

2014 [06] At a press conference, all four members of Mötley Crüe sign a “cessation of touring agreement” preventing them from ever touring again after 2015. They also announce “The Final Tour,” after which they are legally obligated to disband.  (Guess what they’re up to this summer…)

1958 [62] The Lego company patents their design of Lego bricks, which are still compatible with the bricks produced today

1999 [21] First ‘Live Sex Change Operation’ is performed online (download or upload?)

1984 [36] Glynn Wolfe weds for a non-bigamous record 26th time (Las Vegas NV)


✓ Greenland hosts the World Ice Golf Championships. Hazards include ice floes (and frostbite).
✓ Dust from the Sahara Desert has been carried by the wind as far as Chicago.
✓ A raw steak is about 75% water.
✓ The 1900 Paris Olympics included events in billiards, checkers, and fishing.
✓ In the middle ages, dead bodies were often used as ammunition in catapults.
✓ “Ex-Lax” was originally called “Bo-Bo’s”.

Best of BS . . .

• Before sex, you flip a coin to see who will receive.
• Every time you get up from the couch, you pull a groin muscle.
• As you are hurled from your car after a high-speed collision, your first thought is, “Cool, I’m in a nice tight spiral!”
• When the kids clean up their room, you celebrate by dumping Gatorade on them.
• For the last 2 months, you’ve been wearing nothing but a cup.
• You fell in love with your girlfriend/wife because she looks like Chris Berman.
• After sex, you go for the 2-point conversion, then spike the pillow.
– First published in “BS” 2000.

• WTF:  Where’s the Fries
• TMI: Too Many Idiots
• IMHO: Is My Hearing-aid On?
• ASAP: Add Salt And Pepper
• IKR: I Know Ralph
• FUBAR: Feeling Uneasy But Accepting Reality
• YOLO: You Overthink Life Obsessively
• ADHD: Americans Don’t Hate Donuts
• STFU: Selling This Fast Unicycle
• MILF: Man I Love Friday
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

Winter fails:  https://tinyurl.com/r6s48x5

What historical character would you like to be?

I have an ‘L’ shaped couch . . . Lower case.

Question:  36% of Americans say that proposing HERE is tacky. Where is it?
Answer:  At a sporting event

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.


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