Tuesday, January 10, 2017 – Edition: #5886

Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Yesterday French police arrested 16 people in connection with the October theft of more than $10 million-worth of jewelry from Kim Kardashian West. Police officials say the arrests took place in different locations in the Paris region. The suspects – aged 23-to-72 – can be held for up to 96 hours before police must either charge them or let them go. The French lawyer for Kardashian West says: “These arrests are a nice surprise because we might be able to find the jewels.” (It’s always all about the money.)
– “L’Express”
★ Victoria Beckham’s fashion label is losing millions. The pop star-turned-fashion designer launched her self-named label back in 2008 and it has since won her big recognition in the industry, such as scooping ‘Designer Brand Of the Year’ at the British Fashion Awards in 2011.
However, Beckham has reportedly filed a loss of $5.6 million (£4.6 million) for the fashion label. For one thing, she reportedly owes husband David Beckham $8.2 million (£6.7 million) as his holding company has lent ongoing funds to her brand. (Here’s some cash for your sewing hobby, hon’)
– “The Sun”
★ And some of the UK’s most promising independent musicians have been awarded £250,000 from a government scheme to promote British music abroad. The Music Exports Growth Scheme (MEGS), run by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) and funded through the Department for International Trade, has awarded the money to 21 different artists to help them promote themselves overseas. Since it was launched in January 2014, the scheme has spent £1.6 million helping more than 100 UK acts. (We need this here!)
– “The Telegraph”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Lewis Del Mar (self-titled).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Blink-182 (“California”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wolf Parade (“Expo 86”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Cage the Elephant (“Tell Me I’m Pretty”).
• “Presidential Address” (ABC/CBS/FOX/NBC/PBS) – Barack Obama’s farewell address to America.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Flaming Lips (“Oczy Mlody “, out Friday).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Dawes – Tonight their “An Evening with Dawes” tour begins in San Diego CA and runs through May 3rd in Charlotte NC. The tour is in support of their latest album, “We’re All Gonna Die”.
• Deep Purple – While the legendary prog-rock band ought to be preparing for the release of their upcoming 20th studio album and potentially-final tour (dubbed “The Long Goodbye”), they’re embroiled in a bitter lawsuit with their long-time accountant who’s accused of siphoning off millions in band royalties.
• Ed Sheeran – The 25-year-old singer-songwriter has teased that his fans will see him shirtless for the first time in the video for the new tune “Shape of You”. He’ll be doing pull-ups, an exercise which he found really tough because he’s … “not a healthy individual”.
• Keith Urban – We all have songs we want to hear over and over. They are, to quote the Luke Bryan song, our ‘play-it-again’ songs. Urban’s is “Blue Ain’t Your Color”, which tops the ‘Billboard Country Airplay’ chart this week.
• U2 – They’re embarking on an epic global tour to celebrate the 30th anniversary of their album “The Joshua Tree” (1987). “The Joshua Tree 30th Anniversary Tour” is scheduled to start May 12th in Vancouver BC, then zig-zag across North America before heading to Europe in July.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “The Accountant” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Radically switching gears from playing ‘Batman’, Ben Affleck is a forensic accountant who works his money magic for crime syndicates, with JK Simmons (“Whiplash”) as the US Treasury agent dogging his heels even when Affleck’s character goes to work for a ‘legit’ company.
• “The Birth Of a Nation” ( R-Rated Drama ): Multi-talented Nate Parker (who produced, co-wrote, directed and co-stars in his historical opus) uses poetic licence and creative direction to recreate Nat Turner’s slave rebellion in 1831 Virginia. The acclaimed drama premiered at the Toronto Film Festival.
• “Deepwater Horizon” ( PG-13 Action Drama ): A story set on the offshore drilling rig ‘Deepwater Horizon’, which exploded in the Gulf of Mexico during April 2010 and created the worst oil spill in US history. Stars Mark Wahlberg, Kurt Russell, Douglas M Griffin, James DuMont.
• “Sad Vacation: The Last Days of Sid & Nancy” ( NR Documentary ): A look at the stormy relationship between Sid Vicious of the influential punk rock band the Sex Pistols and his girlfriend Nancy Spungen, and how it all ended in Room 100 of NYC’s Chelsea Hotel in 1978. Narrated by Huey Morgan. Being released this Friday.
• Also being released: “Homeland: Season 5” (TV); “Mr Robot: Season 2” (TV); and “Swamp People: Season 7” (TV).

BS WAYS TO GET A WOMAN TO DUMP YOU:
• Make dates and then don’t show up.
• Hang with her girlfriends.
• Stop caring about your appearance for a while.
• Be entirely selfish in bed.
• Find trivial things that she does … and complain about them.
• Compare her to your mother.
• Cheat on her and make sure you get caught.
• Be the sensitive, caring man women want, but really, really overdo it.
– Condensed from AskMen.com

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN BORING TO A GUY?
Someone on Reddit has asked the rest of the community: “What makes a woman boring to you?” Some of the opinions that are the most insightful …
✗ “Inability to flirt back or make jokes back. I give it a while to see if they open up, but if they never do, it’s a bad sign.”
✗ “The kind of woman that thinks that just because she’s hot she doesn’t need to have a personality.”
✗ “Lack of intellectual curiosity, as in ‘Oh, I’ve never really wondered about that’.”
✗ “I always judge a person on their Facebook pictures. A red flag is if they always have stupid faces (derp, duck face, moustache on finger …)”.
✗ “She’s more interested in how her life looks on social media than how her life actually feels.”
✗ “When I see the same woman post a selfie every day showing how ‘beautiful’ she is, I automatically think she does it because there’s nothing else worth knowing about her.”
✗ “When a women thinks that all men have the exact same motive.”
– Adapted from Metro.co.uk

POTTERHEADS, REJOICE!
You can now spend a night in a ‘Hogwarts’-style Airbnb. A Welsh B&B is offering a night’s stay in their ‘Harry Potter’-themed establishment to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the publication of “Harry Potter & The Philosopher’s Stone” (June 26, 1997), as well as the 10th anniversary of the publication of “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows” (July 21, 2007). Upon arrival, Potterheads are divided into one of the houses in the ‘Great Hall’. Wizards’ tea is served in the ‘common room’ and food in ‘owl cages’. An overnight stay includes ‘Harry Potter’-inspired afternoon tea, a free ‘Potter’-related book, and a full breakfast the following morning after a nice Woodland walk.
NET: http://www.lletycynin.co.uk
– EliteDaily.com

GOOD NEWS ABOUT INDULGENCES:
Excuses for partaking in some of your favorite things …
• Coffee – A 30-year study reveals that moderate consumption has beneficial effects against diabetes, Alzheimer’s, kidney stones, gall stones, depression, cancer, and may hinder the development of cirrhosis of the liver. And 4 or more cups a day may prevent gout.
• Chocolate – Eating chocolate can help sharpen the mind and give a short-term boost to cognitive skills. It can also help fight fatigue, sleep deprivation, and the effects of aging. A few squares of dark chocolate a day is as effective as aspirin in preventing blood clots.
• Red Wine – There are definitely cardiovascular benefits for men who drink 2 glasses per day and for women who drink 1. It can also decrease risk of stroke, may help longevity and improve memory. People who drink red wine occasionally also lower their risk of developing dementia.
• Cannabis – AIDS patients with debilitating nerve pain get as much relief from cannabis as from prescription medications and with fewer side effects. Marijuana skin cream can help with allergies. An ingredient in cannabis may help prevent Mad Cow Disease. (But it sure is tough to get ‘Bessie’ to toke on a bong.)
– “China Daily”

THINGS EVERY MAN SHOULD DO FOR THE WOMAN HE LOVES:
• Slow down in bed.
• Speed up on the toilet.
• Buy you tampons without feeling emasculated.
• Log your size into his memory, because what’s more depressing than trying on a wrong-size gift?
• Before he leaves on a trip, give you a sappy card that says how much he’ll miss you. (Extra credit if he makes it himself.)
• Send you a massive bouquet of flowers at work. (Ideally on a Monday, so you can flaunt it all week.)
• Cook you a meal that involves more ingredients than pasta and pasta sauce.
• Afterward, clean up the dishes.
• Memorize this mantra: If I’m going to be late, call. If I’m going to be late, call …
• Ask you as many questions as he answers.
• Look you directly in the eye during all greetings, requests, and declarations of love.
• Toss out the blue-and-red tartan flannel bedding he got in college and replace it with something else. (Thread count over 200, no poly-blends.)
• Do whatever it takes to make up after he’s been a jerk.
– Excerpted from “Glamour”

DID YOU KNOW?
You can use a display computer in an Apple store all day and no-one will ever ask you to leave.
– Refinery29.com

BS CHRONOMETER 01.10.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [72] Rod Stewart, London UK, wrinkle-rocker (“Tonight’s the Night”, “Maggie May”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1994)

1948 [69] Donald Fagen, Passaic NJ, classic rock singer (Steely Dan-“Reeling In the Years”, “Hey Nineteen”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1953 [64] Pat Benatar (Andrzejewski), Brooklyn NY, classic rocker (“Hit Me With Your Best Shot”)/4 consecutive Grammy Awards for ‘Best Female Rock Vocal Performance’ 1980-83

1978 [39] Brent Smith, Knoxville TN, rock singer-songwriter (Shinedown-“The Crow & The Butterfly”, “Second Chance”)

1981 [36] Nasri (Nasri Tony Atweh), Toronto ON, pop/reggae singer-songwriter (Magic!-“Rude”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bittersweet Chocolate Day”, the kind you can eat with less guilt because it has less sugar. And unlike milk chocolate or white chocolate, it does not contain any milk solids.

• “Cut Your Energy Costs Day”, a day to help both the environment and your bottom line. So what’s your best tip?

• “Houseplant Appreciation Day”, a day to salute their therapeutic value in lifting your mood and outlook. And if you’re a gardener, they give you an opportunity to play in the dirt until Spring arrives in the seemingly far, far, distant future.

• “Peculiar People Day”, a good day to have listeners call in stories about the extraordinary, unusual, strange, odd, uncommon, intriguing, different, abnormal, and quirky people they know.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [08] Singer Fergie marries actor Josh Duhamel in Malibu CA

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2008 [09] Radiohead tops album charts with the physical release of “In Rainbows”, originally sold via the Internet for a price chosen by fans

2016 [01] Singer-songwriter, producer, and actor David Bowie dies of liver cancer at age 69 in NYC

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2008 [09] Panic! At the Disco announces they’ll be dropping their ‘!’ with the release of their next album, “Pretty. Odd.”

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2008 [09] Tata Motors, India’s largest automaker, unveils the ‘World’s Cheapest Car’, the Nano (MSRP around $2,000)

2010 [07] China surpasses Germany to become the ‘World’s Largest Exporter’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Human Trafficking Awareness Day
[Thurs] Full ‘Wolf’ Moon
[Thurs] Kiss a Ginger Day
[Thurs] Hot Tea Day
[Fir] Friday the 13th
This Week Is … Home Office Safety & Security Week
This Month Is … Be On-Purpose Month

BULL’S BITS

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• If you lick the air, does it get wet?
• Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
• How come, no matter what color the liquid is, the froth is always white?
• Can a hearse drive a corpse in the HOV lane?
• Why is an electrical outlet called an ‘outlet’ when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an ‘inlet’?
• Is the opposite of ‘out of whack’ … ‘in whack’?
• Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
• How can you chop ‘down’ a tree and then chop it ‘up’?
• Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
• If a ‘bus station’ is where a bus stops and a ‘train station’ is where a train stops, what happens at a ‘work station’?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Scientists have discovered a food that lowers a woman’s sex drive by 90% … wedding cake.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
In what country is the city of Gruyère, the namesake of the famous cheese?
a. France
b. Italy
c. Switzerland [CORRECT]
– Wikipedia.org

BS WEB GOODIE:
500 years of searchable slang …
NET: https://greensdictofslang.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ A suburban Cleveland OH shopping mall is now restricting people 17-and-under from entering during certain weekend hours. Juveniles must be accompanied by an adult 21-or-older after 5 pm Fridays and Saturdays. The new rule has been put in place after melees took place in several malls across America on December 26th. Good idea or discriminatory?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Stats show people do THIS half as often today as 40 years ago.
ANSWER: Cook (or eat) at home.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.


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