Monday, January 12, 2015        Edition: #5373


Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Britain’s Prince Harry has been linked to German model Anastasia Guseva. The 30-year-old royal was spotted partying with the stunning fashion model at a party on a super yacht in Abu Dhabi before leaving with her at 4:30 am, suggesting he’s done with his 2-and-a-half year relationship with former girlfriend Cressida Bonas. One partygoer says: ”All the girls were after him … one of the dancers wearing just a red bikini and black hot pants was gyrating onstage to try to get his attention. It worked as she was asked to join his table.”
– “Bang Showbiz”
★ Actor Jeremy Renner, who got married fairly secretly last year to a model 20 years his junior, is now getting divorced after just a few months. The reason his wife cites? “Fraud”. The last time we saw the fraud card being played was when Renée Zellwegger dumped her country singer- hubby Kenny Chesney. Renner’s divorce is unlikely to throw up anything nearly as fun, as he’s been linked with actor Kristoffer Winters for years.
– PopBitch.com
★ “Better Call Saul” producers and cast addressed the inevitable comparisons to “Breaking Bad” at a panel at the Television Critics Association on Saturday. “We want this show to stand on its own,” says executive producer Peter Gould, answering a question about whether the stars of “Breaking Bad” will appear on the prequel, which is set to premiere on AMC February 8th. The hard intel gained at the event: Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul will not appear during Season 1.
– Variety.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Country singer Brandy Clark (“12 Stories”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Frankie Ballard (“Sunshine & Whiskey”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show” (CBS/Omni 1) – Linda Perry (“8 Songs About a Girl”); Ozzy Osbourne (“Memoirs Of a Madman”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Brandy Clark again.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – St Paul & The Broken Bones (“Half the City”).
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Jessie J (“Sweet Talker”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Darius Rucker (“True Believers”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Elvis Presley – His first-ever recording, “My Happiness”, has sold at auction for $300,000 to an anonymous online buyer. Presley paid just $4 to record the 78 rpm acetate at age 18 in Memphis TN.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl celebrated his 46th birthday with a ‘surprise’ in the round-style performance at The Forum in Los Angeles on Saturday night. Proceeds from the charity gig benefit the Rock School Scholarship Fund, MusiCares, and Sweet Relief.
• Jason Aldean – He’s reclaimed top spot on the ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart for this week with “Old Boots, New Dirt”
• John Legend – “All Of Me” celebrates a whole year on the singles chart this week.
• Kelly Clarkson – “Heartbeat Song” is out today, the first track from her upcoming 7th studio album. She says the new disc is influenced by all the music she loves … pop-rock, country, R&B, and dance.
• Led Zeppelin – Jimmy Page has a girlfriend 46 years his junior. He was spotted cozying up to 25-year-old actress Scarlett Sabet at a dinner celebrating his 71st birthday on Friday night.
• Lenny Kravitz – He’s joining Katy Perry onstage for a guest appearance during the Supper Bowl halftime show February 1st in Glendale, Arizona.
• Motley Crue – Nikki Sixx plans to turn down an induction to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame … IF  his band is ever invited, because he is convinced the institution is ‘fixed’ and out of touch. The band’s been eligible for induction since 2006, but has yet to be selected. No need to worry, Nik.
• St Vincent – She will re-issue her critically-acclaimed, self-titled 2014 record as a deluxe edition next month. It will feature 5 bonus tracks, including a remix of “Digital Witness”. She has a number of tour dates lined up in Australia, Japan, New Zealand, and North & South America.
• Snoop Dogg – He’s announced that his new album is complete and will be out in March. Titled “Bush”, the album reunites Snoop with hitmaker Pharrell Williams and features cameos from Charlie Wilson and Stevie Wonder.

WORTH REVIVING:
Like many animals, there a lot of words which are on the brink of extinction. Each year, Wayne State University in Detroit MI picks some that are worth saving. Here’s the 7th annual ‘Word Warriors’ list, the bon mots we need to bring back from the brink …
✓ Caterwaul: A shrill howling or wailing noise. (BS recommended!)
✓ Concinnity: The harmonious arrangement or fitting together of different parts of something.
✓ Flapdoodle: Nonsense. (BS recommended!)
✓ Knavery: A roguish or mischievous act.
✓ Melange: A mixture of different things.
✓ Obambulate: To walk about.
✓ Opsimath: A person who begins to learn or study only late in life.
✓ Philistine: A person who indifferent to or has no understanding of culture and the arts.
✓ Rapscallion: A mischievous person. (BS recommended!)
✓ Subtopia: Monotonous urban sprawl of standardized buildings.
(Sure, the English language has more words in its lexicon than any other, but shouldn’t we save the more interesting ones?)
– UPI.com

DO YOUR PJS NEED LAUNDERING?
Whether they’re traditional 2-piece PJs or a slinky negligée, how often do your favorite pajamas get washed? A new poll finds that men average 13 nights of wear before laundering … and women go 17 days. Why so long? Many of us forget how long our jammies have been in use; others don’t consider laundering PJs a priority as they’re only worn a few hours at a time. But an expert from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine warns that skin cells shed onto PJs contain microbes, and some can cause infections. Many of us carry staphylococcus bacteria, for instance, which can cause problems if they get into cuts. She advises washing PJs a minimum of once per week. (Simple solution … don’t wear any.)
– “Daily Mail”

COLD PAWS:
It’s ‘ruff’ to be a pup when the weather gets doggone cold. Veterinary experts say pet owners should go beyond dressing their pooches in adorable sweaters to ensure they’re safe and comfortable in Winter weather. A few tips …
• Periods of severely frigid weather aren’t the time to get your indoor pet to become outdoors-y.
• If you’ve set up a dog bed in the garage, make sure it isn’t directly on the chilly concrete floor.
• Avoid leaving your pup in your vehicle while running around doing errands.
• Bang on your hood or beep your horn before you start the engine so any animals who’ve sought shelter underneath are scared away.
• A dog who detests going out in cold weather might not need as much food as usual, while a pooch that likes to romp in the snow for hours may need heartier meals.
– “New York Daily News”

GETTING A CHOCO FIX:
For many, chocolate is a drug So it’s perhaps not surprising that someone’s come up with a way of snorting it. ‘The Chocolate Shooter’ is now for sale at the Commercial Drive Licorice Parlour in Vancouver BC. Kits sell for $109 but you can’t have a sample snort for just $2. Chocolate snorting is believed to have originated in Belgium (where else?) where the first cocoa sniffing device was invented by Dominique Persoone, who conjured up the apparatus as a unique way to serve dessert at a birthday party for the Rolling Stones’ Ronnie Wood (who else?). Snorting chocolate as a fine powder purportedly allows you to experience the flavor very subtly for several hours … without the caloric intake. (However, you may develop ‘Brown Lung’.)
NET: http://www.chocolateshooter.be
– TheProvince.com

CLEANEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD:
Compiled by Yale and Columbia Universities, a ranking of the ‘Environmental Performance Index’ of nations worldwide, based on 25 indicators, such as environmental health, air pollution, clean water resources, etc. The top 5 countries and their EPI scores …
1. Switzerland (95.5)
2. Sweden (93.1)
3. Norway (93.1)
4. Finland (91.4)
5. Costa Rica (90.5)
– ListsOPlenty.com

BS AMAZING ANIMAL FACTS:
• With only 1 male Northern White Rhino left, hope for the species relies on a possible test-tube baby.
– “Discovery”
• Insect-eating bats are a possible source of the Ebola outbreak in West Africa.
– “National Geographic”
• When it comes to some tasks, crows are nearly as smart as humans.
– “Futurity”
• There are only 7 surviving skeletons of the ‘quagga’, a cousin of the zebra that became extinct in 1883.
– TheGuardian.com

BS CHRONOMETER 01.12.15


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [64] Rush Limbaugh, Cape Girardeau MO, syndicated right-wing radio host

1954 [61] Howard Stern, Queens NY, ‘shock jock’ who promised to personally make ‘pay radio’ viable (Sirius Satellite Radio)

1964 [51] Jeff Bezos, Albuquerque NM, Internet billionaire (Amazon.com founder & CEO)

1965 [50] Rob Zombie (Cummings), Haverhill MA, metal rocker (“Hellbilly Deluxe 2″, “Educated Horses”)/horror movie director (“Halloween” films, “The Devil’s Rejects”)

1970 [45] Zack de la Rocha. Long Beach CA, rock singer (Rage Against the Machine-”Killing In the Name”, “Guerrilla Radio”)

1974 [41] Melanie Chisholm (‘Sporty Spice’), Whiston UK, former pop singer (Spice Girls-”Wannabe”)

1987 [28] Naya Rivera, Valencia CA, TV actress (‘Santana Lopez’ on “Glee” since 2009)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Clean Off Your Desk Day”, an unofficial annual observance on the 2nd Monday of January encouraging you to organize your office desk or cubicle. Why bother? It’s said that a clean and organized workspace can ‘inspire a sense of serenity’.

• “Eat Crackers & Try to Whistle Day”, just to see if it’s still as much fun as it was when you were a kid. (This calls for an on-air experiment!)

• “Pharmacists Day”, honoring drug dealers everywhere.

• “Roller Skating Day”, celebrating the pastime that previously employed 4 wheels for what we now do with 2 wheels.

• “Work Harder Day”, some maniacal boss’s idea of a holiday?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [13] Late-night TV host Conan O’Brien weds Liza Powell, a Seattle ad executive he met when she made an appearance on his show

2004 [11] Satirical TV newsmagazine “Rick Mercer Report” debuts on CBC-TV

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1985 [30] Bruce Springsteen’s “Born In the USA” tops album charts, knocking off Prince’s “Purple Rain” after 24 weeks

2000 [15] Sharon Osbourne (Ozzy Osbourne’s wife) announces she’s quitting as manager of Smashing Pumpkins due to medical reasons, quote: “Billy Corgan is making me sick!”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1980 [35] 1st-ever rap recording, “Rapper’s Delight” by Sugarhill Gang, peaks at #36 on pop singles chart

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [05] The Haiti earthquake occurs, killing an estimated 316,000 and destroying the majority of the capital city Port-au-Prince

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Make Your Dream Come True Day
[Tues] Poetry at Work Day
[Tues] Rubber Duckie Day
[Wed] Caesarean Section Day
[Wed] International Kite Day
[Wed] Dress Up Your Pet Day
[Wed] Organize Your Home Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Cuckoo Dancing Week / Fresh Squeezed Juice Week / Soccer Coaches Week / Universal Letter Writing Week / Vocation Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS FAMOUS LAST WORDS:
• “Oh cute! Look at the fuzzy little cubs!”
• “Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
• “This seems easy enough.”
• “Oh don’t worry. The poisonous ones have orange stripes.”
• “Aha, I’ve got you now!”
• “Oh don’t worry. I never get lost.”
• “I’ll just explain to the ogre that it was an honest mistake.”
• “Here, hold this rope while I go down.”
• “You and what army?”
• “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”
– First published in “BS” 2012.

BS EUPHEMISMS FOR ‘BREAKING WIND’:
• Entering the sphincter chat room.
• Singing like Idina.
• Testing in the Levi wind tunnel.
• Answering the call of the wild burrito.
• Having a Hallmark methane moment.
• Steam-pressing the Calvins.
• Guaranteeing that cute guy in marketing will stick his head in your office to say hello 3 seconds later.
– First published in “BS” 2001.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Cross country skiing is great … if you live in a small country.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s one thing you really want to do in 2015 that you didn’t get to do last year?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: THIS was the #1 answer in a recent poll asking people, “What’s the most stressful thing you’ve ever experienced?”
Answer: Buying or selling a house.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can lead to pregnancy.

BS FRESH MEAT:
Matt Anderson @ The Hits, Auckland, New Zealand; Mark Johnson @ Pioneer 90.1 [KSRQ] Thief River Falls MN; the entire on-air staff @ 104.9 Lime FM Mount Gambier, Australia; Tom Fricke @ Krystal 93 [KYSL] Frisco CO; and Ayesha Barretto @ Indigo 91.9 FM Panjim, India.


Printer Friendly Version