Wednesday, January 13, 2016        Edition: #5608

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★ Disney/Lucasfilm are inching closer to finding their young ‘Han Solo’ for the upcoming untitled “Star Wars” spinoff. The list has reportedly been cut down to about a dozen actors with Ansel Elgort, “Everybody Wants Some” actor Blake Jenner, Dave Franco, “Brooklyn” star Emory Cohen, Jack Reynor, Miles Teller, and Scott Eastwood among the names making the cut. With the exception of Eastwood, who’s 29, producers seem to be zeroing in on actors aged 20-to-25. A decision is expected in the next couple of weeks. The film does not shoot until next January, and is not scheduled to open until May 2018.
★ Director George Miller has vowed never to make another “Mad Max Movie”. The Australian filmmaker shot the original 3 installments with Mel Gibson and returned to the franchise 30 years later to helm 2015’s critically-acclaimed “Max: Fury Road”, which starred Charlize Theron and Tom Hardy. A follow-up is expected, but Miller has ruled himself out of the project. Why? The films apparently take forever to shoot in Australia. The “Fury Road” shoot was hit with long delays due to rain. Filming had to eventually be moved to Namibia.
★ Seemingly odd couple Jerry Hall (59) & Rupert Murdoch (84) have announced they are getting married. The former model and the media mogul have been dating since October. The engagement has been formally announced on the ‘Births, Marriages & Deaths’ page of “The Times” newspaper, which is owned by Murdoch’s company, News Corporation. The marriage will be Hall’s first, since her 1990 wedding in Bali to Mick Jagger was declared not legally binding. They ended their relationship in 1999. Murdoch has been married 3 times previously and has a total of 6 children.
– “The Telegraph”
★ And actress Laura Dern is reuniting with filmmaker David Lynch for “Twin Peaks”. She has previously worked with Lynch on films like “Blue Velvet” and “Inland Empire”, and has now been offered  a ‘top secret pivotal role’ in the TV series reboot. Sources speculate that Dern may play the assistant to Kyle MacLachlan’s ‘Special Agent Dale Cooper’. The reports of Dern’s casting emerge shortly after actress Sherilyn Fenn signed on to reprise her role as seductress ‘Audrey Horne’. The reincarnation of the 1990-91 series will debut in 2017.

• “American Idol” (FOX) – Ryan Seacrest and the judges continue their search for talent with auditions in Philadelphia PA.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Highly Suspect (“Mister Asylum”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Charlie Puth (“Nine Track Mind”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – DJ Khaled f/Future (“I Changed a Lot”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Drenge (“Undertow”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Kelsea Ballerini (“First Time”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Travis Barker (Blink-182).
• “Second Chance” (FOX) – Season debut. Now on its 3rd title and formerly known as “Lookinglass”, it features an ex-sheriff brought back to life with near-superhuman abilities.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Rachel Platten (“Wildfire”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Macy Gray (“The Way”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Colin Hay (Men at Work).

• David Bowie – A Bowie tribute concert at NYC’s Carnegie Hall is going ahead as planned despite his unexpected passing. Cyndi Lauper, The Roots, and Mountain Goats are expected to perform Bowie’s music on March 31st. The show has been in the works for the past 6 months.
• Dierks Bentley – He’s bringing his restaurant franchise Whiskey Row to Nashville TN. The first 2 establishments opened in Arizona last year. The new live music venue/bar is scheduled to open in early 2017 on Nashville’s Broadway Street, where Dierks cut his teeth as a performer.
• Iron Maiden – They’re planning another assault on the beer market. “International Business Times” reports that frontman Bruce Dickinson recently completed tastings for a new as yet unnamed limited-edition stout which will be launched in pubs later this year. The band’s award-winning Trooper beer hit a milestone of 10 million pints sold last year.
• Kanye West – He’s finally revealed the release date for his long-awaited new album by simply tweeting: “Swish February 11 16.”
• Keith Urban – He’s announced his 2016 ‘Ripcord World Tour”, which starts June 2nd in Bonner Springs KS and runs through November in Brooklyn NY. Brett Eldredge and newcomer Maren Morris, who is getting airplay with “My Church”, are the opening acts.
• Lana Del Rey – An obsessed fan who was found at her home last year has been sentenced to 84 days in jail for stalking. The 19-year-old entered the singer’s Malibu CA home in November while she was out and was eventually found in her garage by construction workers on the property. He’s also sentenced to 5 years’ probation and ordered to stay away from Del Rey for 10 years.
• Lupe Fiasco –  Tonight he’s kicking off a North American tour in Seattle WA. He’s already announced he’ll release 3 separate albums in 2016. “Drogas” is up first.

It seems people will try almost anything to shed some pounds. How about freeze-dried poop? A clinical trial set to start this year will involve 20 obese patients taking capsules filled with freeze-dried stool from healthy donors to test researchers’ hunch that intestinal microbes can influence people’s weight. It’s thought that introducing healthy new gut microbes into a person can help them lose pounds. One challenge for the whole enterprise has been creating a suitable capsule that doesn’t break down until it enters the small intestine. The researchers are studying the use of poop to treat other maladies as well, such as Crohn’s disease. (Wonder if they pay donors? What a sweet gig!)

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Dryuary’ – A January during which a person consumes no alcohol; or a campaign to encourage abstinence from alcohol during January.
• ‘Manel’ – A derogatory term for a panel that is exclusively male, thereby recognizing the distinct lack of female voices. There are ‘manels’ everywhere … in the boardroom, across the tech sector, and especially in finance.
• ‘Teraproject’ –  A massive project, particularly one that costs a trillion dollars or more. (“So the wife’s going shoe-shopping Saturday. There’s a teraproject.”)

Exercise DVDs are a mostly unregulated industry and their safety and accuracy haven’t been scientifically proven, yet their promises of chiseled, bronzed bodies have us forking over $250 million for them every year. Not only do we not know whether they work, researchers at Oregon State University are going so far as to report that they could be both physically and psychologically unsafe. There are questions about some of the exercises, which could lead to injuries and pose a real danger to users. And some use so-called motivating statements that are in fact negative, ie: “You should be dying right now” or “You better be sweating!” Those negative statements are said to reinforce the idea that exercise is torture. (And your point being?)
– Yahoo! Health

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 81% of women who cook hate it when their partner keeps sampling the food or a pot of sauce.
• 75% of adults eat at least one grilled cheese per year.
• 50% of us blame ‘work’ as the reason for not following through on New Year’s resolutions.
• 30% of fathers have cried over a child being born.
• 6% of high school students spend time in detention … every week.
• 3% of NFL fans have thrown something at their TV while watching a game.

So nobody won the record $949.8 million Powerball jackpot on Saturday and the jackpot for tonight’s draw has rocketed beyond $1.4 billion. “It’s crazy how big this jackpot is,” a California lottery spokesman says. “Buckle up: It’s going to be a crazy ride between now and Wednesday night.” FYI: The odds of winning are 1-in-292.2 million. US citizenship is not required to win.

• The smallest chameleons have the fastest tongues.
• PETA once asked 1990s band Pet Shop Boys to consider changing their name to Rescue Shelter Boys.


1961 [55] Julia Louis-Dreyfus, NYC, TV actress (‘Selina Meyer’ on “Veep” since 2011, “New Adventures of Old Christine” 2006-10, “Seinfeld” 1989-98)

1962 [54] Trace Adkins, Springhill LA, country singer (“You’re Gonna Miss This”, “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”)

1961 [55] Wayne Coyne, Pittsburgh PA, rock guitarist/vocalist (Flaming Lips-“Do You Realize”)/Miley Cyrus collaborator (“Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz”).

1966 [50] Patrick Dempsey, Lewiston ME, TV actor (‘Dr Derek Shepherd’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-15)/movie actor (“Transformers: Dark Of the Moon”)

1970 [46] Shonda Rhimes, Chicago IL, TV show runner/executive producer (“How to Get Away With Murder” since 2014, “Scandal” since 2012, “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005, “Private Practice” 2007-13)

1977 [39] Orlando Bloom, Canterbury UK, movie actor (“The Hobbit” movies, “Pirates Of the Caribbean” films)

1990 [26] Liam Hemsworth, Melbourne, Australia, movie actor (“The Hunger Games” films, “The Expendables 2”)

• “International Skeptics Day” … or so they claim.

• “Korean-American Day”, saluting the circa 1.6 million North Americans of Korean descent, mostly from South Korea, with a small minority from North Korea.

• “Make Your Dream Come True Day”. Even if your dream seems impossible, you’ll never know if it can be accomplished unless you try … or so they claim.

• “Rubber Duckie Day”, celebrating the tub-toy that tots treasure. Observed annually on the ‘birth anniversary’ of “Sesame Street” character ‘Rubber Duckie’.

• “St Knut’s Day” (“Tjugondag Knut”), the last day of Christmas (!?!) in Finland and Sweden.

2013 [03] “Argo” and “Les Misérables” are the big winners in the film categories at the 70th Golden Globe Awards; HBO’s “Girls” and Showtime’s “Homeland” dominate TV categories

2003 [13] British police arrest The Who guitarist Pete Townshend for possessing indecent computer images of children (he’s later let off after claiming he was ‘doing research’ for an upcoming book on his own experiences with abuse)

2000 [16] Bill Gates resigns as CEO of Microsoft to focus on his charitable foundation

1985 [31] Likely the ‘Oldest to Score a Golf Ace’, as 99-year-old German duffer Otto Bucher sinks a hole-in-one on a course in Spain

[Thurs] Caesarean Section Day
[Thurs] Dress Up Your Pet Day
[Thurs] Organize Your Home Day
[Fri] “Gershwin Prize for Popular Song” (PBS)
[Fri] “Ride Along 2”; “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Humanitarian Day
[Sat] North American International Auto Show opens to the public (Detroit MI)
This Week Is … Universal Letter Writing Week
This Month Is … Be On-Purpose Month


● Have you ever built a computer?
● Are your glasses broken & taped?
● Have you ever corrected a professor?
● Do you sit in the front row?
● Do you take notes in more than one color?
● Is your weight less than your IQ?
● Ever done homework on a Saturday night?
● Do you own a pencil case? Do you wear it?
● Can you name over 10 “Star Trek” episodes?
● Own a wearable computer? Does it talk to you? Does it have earflaps?

I always avoid cliches like the plague!

• Bad Sushi
• Broken Bus
• Stolen Wallet
• Trainwreck
• Elevators
• Old Lady Drivers
• Alien Conspiracy
• Total Amnesia
• Nine Minute Snooze
• Hangover
– Thanks to Eric Elbogen

What do you call a resident of the Isle of Man?
a. Manian.
b. Manx. [CORRECT]
c. Man.

In ancient times, people believed the spleen was the seat of emotions. Thus to ‘vent one’s spleen’ meant to let go of anger. Nowadays we attribute emotions to the heart. But what if this hadn’t changed? Here are 3 bits from that same concept …
• Have listeners call in famous movie lines, substituting ‘spleen’ for ‘heart’, ie: “She’ll only break your spleen, it’s a fact”; “Love is a wish that hides in the spleen”, etc.
• Ask listeners for expressions that would sound strange, ie: “You’re a hard-spleened woman!”
• Take any tune on your playlist with the word ‘heart’ in it and edit in a monotone voice saying ‘spleen’ to get hilarious results … “Spleenbeat”, “Elastic Spleen”, etc.

☎ What have you had on a pizza? People will put pretty much anything on a pizza. But have you actually tried it?

Question: A new poll finds that THIS is the #1 phrase women don’t want to hear.
Answer: “You look tired.”

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

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