Friday, January 15, 2016        Edition: #5610

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★The contenders for the worst films of the year have been announced, with “Fifty Shades of Grey” dominating the nominations. It is up for 6 Razzies, including ‘Worst Picture’, ‘Worst Director’, ‘Worst Actor’, and ‘Worst Actress’. “Jupiter Ascending”, “Pixels”, and “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” also have 6 nods each for the Golden Raspberry Awards, to be announced next month. Interestingly, Eddie Redmayne, who’s tipped for another Oscar for his role in “The Danish Girl”, is in contention for ‘Worst Supporting Actor’ for “Jupiter Ascending”. The awards launched in 1980 as a spoof of the Oscars.
– BBC Entertainment & Arts
★ Seems the rumor’s true! It’s confirmed that “Friends” is coming back for one more episode. As a one-off event, all the actors will re-unite on NBC-TV for a 2-hour special 12 years after the network aired the (we thought) last episode. All 6 members of the main cast; David Schwimmer, Jennifer Aniston, Matthew Perry, Courteney Cox, Matt LeBlanc, and Lisa Kudrow; are participating. “Friends” aired 1994-2004. The special airs on NBC-TV February 21st.
– E! Online
★ In the past, NBC-TV has developed several movies into live musical specials, including “The Sound of Music”, “Peter Pan” and “The Wiz”. Now it seems “Hairspray” is up next. The new production is tentatively scheduled for December. “Hairspray” first hit the bigscreen in 1988, and was developed into a Broadway play in 2002.

• “Angie Tribeca” (TBS) – Sunday all 10 episodes of the 1st season of this new Rashida Jones comedy air in a 25-hour marathon, emulating a Netflix show. Jones plays ‘Angie’, a cop, and is surrounded by a funny ensemble. The 2nd season premieres Monday, January 25th.
• “Billions” (Showtime/CraveTV) – Sunday the debut of a new drama set in the financial world. Damian Lewis (“Homeland”) plays a hedge fund billionaire; Paul Giamatti the ambitious US attorney who wants to bring him down. Neither are nice guys.
• “Critics’ Choice Awards” (A&E) – Sunday the 21st annual ceremony that honors the finest in cinematic and television achievement. Another precursor to the Oscars.
• “Gershwin Prize for Popular Song” (PBS) – Tonight Willis Nelson is honored by Rosanne Cash, Jamey Johnson, Alison Krauss, Paul Simon, and Neil Young in this prerecorded special. Nelson is the first country artist to receive the Gershwin Prize.
• “Hell’s Kitchen” (FOX) – Tonight the Season 15 premiere of the kitchen competition that often tries masterchef-host Gordon Ramsay’s patience.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight The Internet (“Ego Death”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Wild Child (“The Runaround”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tonight 5 Seconds of Summer (“Sounds Good Feels Good”) Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Sam Hunt (“Montevallo”). Rerun.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Adam Driver (“Star Wars: The Force Awakens”); musical guest Chris Stapleton (“Traveller”); both making their “SNL” debuts.
• “Super Bowl I” (NFL Network) – Airing for the 1st time today since it was played in 1967. Originally broadcast on both NBC and CBS, tapes were subsequently lost or erased. NFL Films spent months searching archives to find all 145 plays. (See “Today’s First” further below.)
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Today Ice Cube (“War & Peace Vol 2”, out today).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Ben Harper (“Childhood Home),
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Brandi Carlile (“Give Up the Ghost”, out February 12th).

• Backstreet Boys – 35-year-old Nick Carter has reportedly been arrested after a bar fight in Florida. Carter, who finished 2nd on “Dancing With the Stars” last month, was detained this week after a scuffle at the Hog’s Breath Saloon in Key West, according to TMZ.
• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – Saturday their 9-week North American trek, “The River Tour 2016”, begins in Pittsburgh PA. It includes a complete performance of the classic 1980 album “The River” in addition to other favorites. Each night of the tour will be mixed for release on
• David Bowie – According to reports he’s been cremated in a secret ceremony in NYC, without any friends or family present. The pop music icon passed away Sunday at the age of 69.
• DJ Khaled – He’s lost $80,000 after making the dumbass mistake of showing off his credit card on Snapchat. The site’s videos and photos disappear after a few seconds, but apparently not fast enough to prevent a sharp-eyed crook from stealing numbers from his American Express black card (no limit).
• Nickelback – They’re now suing Lloyd’s Of London for non-payment of insurance after a cancelled tour. Frontman Chad Kroeger’s vocal cord cyst forced the band to scrap dates on its 2015 “No Fixed Address Tour”. They filed a $13 million claim to cover their losses, but the insurance company says the policy is void, as the medical condition was pre-existing. Oops.
• One Direction – The long-term future of the boyband may be bleaker than first imagined, with a new report suggesting they’ve yet to renew their contract and might not return at all after their year-long hiatus. For the record, their reps are denying it’s a permanent split.
• Rihanna – She’s the most marketable celebrity, according to new data from NPD Group. She leads the way when it comes to pitching products, with about 3.7 times as many strong-brand endorsement opportunities as the average big-name celebrity.

• “Norm Of the North” ( Animated Family Adventure ): Displaced from their Arctic home, a polar bear named ‘Norm’ and his 3 lemming friends wind up in NYC, where ‘Norm’ becomes the mascot of a corporation he soon learns is tied to the fate of his homeland. Voice cast includes Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Ken Jeong, Bill Nighy.
• “Ride Along 2” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ): In this sequel to the 2014 film, ‘Ben’ (Kevin Hart) heads to Miami FL with his future brother-in-law (Ice Cube) to bring down a drug dealer who’s supplying the dealers of Atlanta GA. All this as his wedding day is rapidly approaching. Co-stars Tika Sumpter, Benjamin Bratt.
• “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi” ( Action Thriller ): Director Michael Bay’s latest, which centers on the real-life 2012 attack on the US diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya, stars James Badge Dale and John Krasinski. The American Ambassador is killed during the attack as a security team struggles to make sense out of the chaos.
• Opening in limited release: “Band of Robbers” (Crime Thriller); “The Benefactor” (Drama); “Moonwalkers” (Comedy); and “A Perfect Day (Drama).

We’ve known for some time that altering the time at which you eat can affect your weight and metabolism. It seems the secret to improving your health is to restrict the time window within which you eat, and by doing so extend the amount of time you go without food. In recent experiments, those who ate breakfast later and dinner earlier (creating only an 8-hour eating window) lost more body fat and had decreased blood sugar and cholesterol levels compared to others who ate in a larger time window. Sticking rigidly to a reduced eating window may not be practical for everyone, but there does seem to be benefit from doing it when you can. (And it is clearly a good idea to avoid the midnight cheeseburger.)
– “Trust Me, I’m a Doctor”

✓ Britney Spears’ iconic striptease performance on the VMAs.
✓ The Nokia 3310 phone.
✓ Destiny Child’s “Say My Name”.
✓ Willow Smith.
✓ NSYNC’s “No Strings Attached”.
✓ “Sex & The City’s” first Golden Globe Award.
✓ Blink-182’s “What’s My Age Again?”.
✓ The Chrysler PT Cruiser.
✓ “Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire”.
✓ Playstation 2.
✓ The first episodes of MTV’s “Cribs”.
✓ Pepsi Twist.
✓ “The Sims”.
✓ The first episodes of TLC’s “Trading Spaces”.
✓ Razor scooters.
✓ And J-Lo’s infamous Versace dress at the Grammy Awards. (It was like a wearable jungle … with slightly less coverage.)
– Adapted from

iPhone will soon dim at night to help you sleep. The newest version of Apple’s iOS will automatically shift the light your phone emits to ‘the warmer end of the spectrum’ after sunset. Scientists have known for a while that blue light, like that emitted from laptop screens and smartphones, stops you from getting to sleep because it stops your body’s production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates your sleep-wake cycle. Apple’s iOS 9.3, will include a feature called ‘Night Shift’ that uses your device’s clock and geolocation to determine when it’s sunset in your location and then automatically shift your display colors. In the morning, it returns the display to regular settings. There’s no release date yet for iOS 9.3, but it’s already available to developers who’ve signed up for the public beta. (Or you could just use ‘Off’.)

People who blush tend to be thought of more warmly than people who don’t.


1968 [48] Chad Lowe, Dayton OH, TV actor (‘Byron Montgomery’ on “Pretty Little Liars” since 2010)/movie actor (“Unfaithful”)/brother of actor Rob Lowe

1979 [37] Drew Brees, Austin TX, NFL quarterback (New Orleans Saints)

1981 [35] Pitbull (Armando Pérez), Miami FL, rapper (“I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho]”)

1988 [28] Skrillex (Sonny Moore), LA CA, electronic dance music DJ-producer (“Bangarang”)

Pop-jazz singer Sadé (“Soldier of Love”) is 57; Fashion model Kate Moss is 42; Country guitarist James Young (Eli Young Band) is 36; Rock guitarist Nick Valensi (The Strokes) is 35; NFL QB Joe Flacco (Baltimore Ravens) 31; TV actress Renée Felice Smith (“NCIS: Los Angeles”) is 31.

TV actress Betty White (“Hot in Cleveland”) is 94; Former heavyweight boxing champ Muhammad Ali is 74; TV personality Steve Harvey (“Family Feud”) is 59; Movie actor Jim Carrey (“Dumb & Dumber To”) is 54; US first lady Michelle Obama is 52; Country-rock singer Kid Rock (“All Summer Long”) is 45; TV actress Zooey Deschanel (“New Girl”) is 36; DJ-producer Calvin Harris (“Summer”) is 32; Folk-rock drummer Jeremiah Fraites (The Lumineers) is 30; TV actress Kathrine Herzer (“Madame Secretary”) is 19.

• “Fresh Squeezed Juice Day”. So what’s your preference … Orange? Grapefruit? Red Man Chaw?
• “Hat Day”, observed on the 3rd Friday of January as a day to dispel the boredom of mid-Winter by wearing the goofiest hat you can find. Always hilarious on radio.
• “Humanitarian Day”, encouraging people to work together enthusiastically to disrupt the vicious cycle of poverty, hunger, and neglect.
• “International Fetish Day”, the 3rd Friday of the year, celebrating the various kinds of kink that the kinky get off on.

• “Appreciate a Dragon Day”, when we’re encouraged to learn and explore the cultural and historic significance of dragons.
• “Fig Newton Day”, saluting the cookie that has some grit. Newtons now come in serval different flavors so you can pick your favorite.
• “Hot & Spicy Food International Day”, encouraging us to spice up our lives in order to add some zest to a Winter’s day. What’s the absolute hottest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?
• “North American International Auto Show”, one of the world’s largest, opens to the public in Detroit MI. With all this week’s press coverage, we pretty much already know what’s new.
• “Religious Freedom Day”, when you all have the right to believe the same stuff I do.

• “Hot-Buttered Rum Day”, a sure cure for a cold Winter’s day. (Mmm, butter and rum. Now if they could just add bacon somehow …)
• “Judgment Day”, a day to look at yourself in the mirror and see how you’re doing on your New Year’s resolutions. Some dissenting folk somewhere have named this “Ditch New Years Resolutions Day”, a day to be honest with yourself and admit that you’re never gonna do it.
• “Kid Inventors Day”, to acknowledge past & present accomplishments of kid inventors and encourage the creativity of future kid inventors. It’s estimated a half-million children and teens invent things each year. Among them – waterskis, earmuffs, and the Popsicle.

2005 [11] Spearheaded by actor George Clooney, celebrities from music, TV, and movies band together for “Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope”, a 2-hour telethon to benefit victims of the 2004 tsunami that devastated regions in SouthEast Aisa and Eastern Africa

2009 [07] Pilot Chesley ‘Sully’ Sullenberger makes a successful emergency landing in the Hudson River shortly after US Airways Flight 1549 takes from NYC’s LaGuardia Airport (leads to the Tom Hanks movie “Sully”, opening September 9th)

2001 [15] ‘Wikipedia’, the free content encyclopedia, goes online

1967 [49] 1st ‘Super Bowl’ (although it isn’t called that until 2 years later) as 61,946 fans pay 10 bucks a ticket to watch legendary coach Vince Lombardi’s Green Bay Packers beat the KC Chiefs 35-10 in Los Angeles (MVP is Packer QB Bart Starr)

1983 [33] Tom Syles of Van Nuys, California sets a world record by keeping a single Life Saver candy intact in his mouth for 7 hours, 10 minutes

[Mon] Martin Luther King Day (USA)
[Mon] Winnie the Pooh Day
[Mon] Thesaurus Day
[Tues] Popcorn Day
[Tues] World Day of Migrants & Refugees
This Week Is … Universal Letter Writing Week
This Month Is … Clean Up Your Computer Month


For guys named the likes of ‘Leslie’, ‘Lindsay’, ‘Carol’, and ‘Meredith’ here are some …
• Assignment to the women’s dormitory in college.
• Toughened up by regular beatings as a child.
• Thanks to registration fraud, coed softball team is stacked.
• Actually getting selected off the backstage list to meet the band.
• Direct-mail marketing from lingerie companies.
• Nobody suspects you’re the jerk parked in the handicapped spot when name is announced over the supermarket PA.
• Scoring an interview down at Legs Legs Legs strip club.
• Oratorical skills improved by daily speech explaining how, in Ireland, there are lots of men named ‘Kelly’.
– Thanks to Matt Stewart

I don’t take drugs … I’m not even an athlete.

☎ Have you ever built your cat a fort/playground/hideout? What happened?

Question: On average we each have eaten 257 of THESE over the past year.
Answer: Eggs.

Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

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