Tuesday, January 18, 2011          Edition: #4427
Bully For You!

“Big Love” actress Chloe Sevigny is denying rumors that she’s dating “Jersey Shore” star Pauly D but says she wishes it were true because they would be ‘like the apocalypse’ (huh?) . . . 41-year-old former Mr Sandra Bullock, Jesse James, is tweeting his love for tattoo artist Kat Von D, writing “I’m the luckiest MoFo in the world!” (anyway you look at it, you traded down, dude) . . . 62-year-old movie actress Barbara Hershey (“Black Swan”) & 42-year-old former “Lost” star Naveen Andrews have reportedly reunited a year after ending their romance (he’s coveting her soon-to-arrive pension?) . . . 66-year-old actor Michael Douglas is reportedly in talks to write an autobiography which would include details about his recent battle with throat cancer (nothing sells a life story like a brush with death) . . . Just-retired California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger says that quitting acting to pursue politics likely cost him more than $200 million in potential earnings, but it was ‘more than worth it’ (uh, we saw that 2004 turkey “Around the World in 80 Days” – you’re exaggerating!) . . . The IRS is alleging that former TV talk show host Montel Williams owes over $1 million in back taxes for 2008-09 (though his show ended in ‘08, reruns are still raking in moolah – apparently a lot of moolah!) . . . 28-year-old actress Anne Hathaway (“Love & Other Drugs”) has been offered a guest role on “Glee” (FOX), playing ‘Kurt’s lesbian aunt (an idea she dreamed up herself) . . . 23-year-old Victoria’s Secret model Brooklyn Decker tells “Self” magazine she used to be obsessed with staying skinny until her father staged an intervention and persuaded her to develop a healthier attitude about her body (she’s now up to a hulking 97 lbs!) . . . And this week the Disney Channel is airing the series finalé of “Hannah Montana”, meaning 18-year-old Miley Cyrus has played the character that’s been her alter-ego since 2006 for the last time (since then her career’s been … er … smokin’).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Social Distortion (“Hard Times & Nursery Rhymes”, released today).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Jennifer Lopez (“American Idol”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Interpol (“Interpol”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Two Door Cinema Club (“London 2010”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – The Script (“Science & Faith”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Steven Tyler (“American Idol”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Neon Trees (“Habits”).

• The Black Keys – They’ve cancelled a tour of Australia & New Zealand due to begin this week, as well as a number of March dates in Europe, due to exhaustion.
• Carrie Underwood – She says she loves living in her new home in Canada, including the housekeeping and grocery shopping. Anytime either she or her hockey-playing hubby Mike Fisher has a day off, they fly in to join the other.
• Gregg Allman – Today he releases his first solo album in 14 years, “Low Country Blues”, produced by T Bone Burnett.
• Keith Urban – Actress-wife Nicole Kidman has reveled he’s nicknamed their daughter Sunday Rose ‘The Raccoon’ because the inquisitive 2-year-old gets into everything.
• Lady Antebellum – Their ballad “Hello World” is featured on tonight’s episode of “NCIS” (CBS).
• Pearl Jam – Today they further celebrate their 20th anniversary with a new live album, “Live On Ten Legs”, an 18-track collection of some of the band’s favorite live tracks.
• Robert Plant – Tonight he kicks off a 15-date North American “Band Of Joy” tour in Asheville NC.
• Rolling Stones – Actor Johnny Depp is working on a documentary about rocker pal Keith Richards, for which they recently ‘sat and drank’ together while shooting 35 hours of ‘intense’ footage in just a few days.

• “Buried” ( R-Rated Thriller ): Ryan Reynolds stars as US contractor working in Iraq who wakes up after an attack to find that he is buried alive inside a coffin. With only a lighter and a cellphone, it’s a race against time to escape the claustrophobic death-trap.
• “Stone” ( R-Rated Drama ): Robert De Niro & Edward Norton play a seasoned corrections official & a scheming inmate whose lives become intertwined as the prisoner attempts to use his wife (Milla Jovovich) to influence the older man’s decision about early release.
• “Takers” ( PG-13 Crime Thriller ): Matt Dillon plays a hard-boiled detective who gets between a group of bank robbers and their plan to score a $20-million heist. Co-stars Hayden Christensen, Zoe Saldana, plus recording artists Chris Brown and TI.
• Also released today: “Dallas: The Complete 14th Season” (Vintage TV); “Freakonomics” (Documentary); “Justified: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Sins of My Father” (Documentary); and “Waking the Dead: Season 5 (TV).

New research suggests that the good-looking among us also have higher IQs on average. A pair of studies in the UK & the USA have found that pretty people have IQs 11-to-14 points above average. The findings seem to dispel the myth about dumb blondes or good-looking guys not being very bright. It appears that those already physically blessed attract partners who are not just good looking but brainy too, so the offspring of these couples tend to inherit both qualities, building a genetic link over successive generations. (Two words that refute this … Megan Fox.)
– TheTimes.co.uk

A new Princeton University study has found that a significant number of people tested can recall information better when it’s presented in unusual typefaces, such as the much-maligned Comic Sans MS. Making information superficially harder to understand – a process called ‘disfluency’ – apparently deepens the process of learning and encourages better retention. The findings go against the conventional wisdom that legibility makes it easier for people to learn and remember information. (So if you really want to remember something, get a doctor to write it out for you.)
– DailyMail.co.uk

It seems baby showers are just so last trimester. The new baby trend taking the US by storm is called the ‘sip & see’ … a post-birth, show-off extravaganza where you throw an open-house party for people to drop in, sip your booze – champagne, of course – and see your new offspring – looking angelic, of course. (Let’s see, you’ve just given birth, your body’s in free-fall, the baby’s howling, your shoulder’s covered in spit-up, you’re propping your eyelids open with matchsticks and battling the baby blues … and you wanna throw a party?)
– “The Guardian”

Fewer daylight hours plus freezing temps can be pretty cruel to your mental state. A few tips to help you stay sane …
• Turn on your lights as soon as your alarm goes off. Trying to get ready for work in the dark will only make you sleepier and more sluggish.
• Wake up to the smell of coffee. Set your coffeemaker to turn on a few minutes before you rise and breathe in the irresistible scent.
• Bundle up and take a walk during lunch. The artificial light you’re under all day is no substitute for the real thing. Getting out and actually soaking up whatever sunshine you can while breathing fresh air will lift your spirits.
• Make ‘Happy Hour’ pacts. It can be so easy to run home straight after work, but parking yourself in front of the TV or Facebook every night will only depress you. Agree to meet your friends once a week for drinks.
• Have before-dinner sex. Is there any better way to take advantage of the last hour of daylight?
(Part 2 in tomorrow’s edition of “BS”.)
– Excerpted from “Cosmopolitan”

It seems that looking after your home is more stressful than being at work. New research shows that worrying about things like cleaning, getting the car serviced, and paying bills can be worse for your heart than a typical workday. Scientists have found that those who take on most of the responsibility for running the home tend to have significantly higher blood pressure than those who leave it up to their partners. The findings suggest it’s not the workload itself but the stress about how to cope with it that causes the damage. (What if your job is cleaning other people’s houses? Your blood pressure must boil over!)
– “Social Studies”

• A Taiwanese man has failed in a bid to sue 5 neighbors for inflicting emotional distress and injury by … training a mynah bird to insult him. The man alleges the bird called him a ‘clueless, big-mouthed idiot’ each time it saw him, but prosecutors have decided to drop the charges due to insufficient evidence linking the bird to the electrician’s work injuries.
– Orange.co.uk.
• Underwear is serious business in Germany. A court is Cologne has ruled that business owners have the right to order female workers to wear bras on-the-job. The court has further decreed that bras must be white or flesh colored, as darker-colored ones can often be seen through blouses.
– News.com.au
• The Emergency Medical Services Department in Boston MA has unveiled a new ambulance designed to help transport … fat people. The vehicle is equipped with a special stretcher that can hold 850 lbs (386 kg) and a hydraulic lift with a 1,000-lb (454-kg) capacity. What’s really scary is, the heavy-duty vehicle is expected to be needed … 2-to-4 times a week!
– Reuters.com
• The first hamburger franchise has opened in Pyongyang, North Korea and the unfamiliar burgers have become such a hit that line-ups are long even though reservations are required. The sandwiches, called ‘minced meat & bread’ to avoid using the American word ‘hamburger’, cost the equivalent of $2, putting them outside of the budget of the average citizen. Perhaps not surprisingly, the money-making burger joint is owned by leader Kim Jong Il’s sister.
– RFA.org

Data from over 40,000 online daters shows that women get more attention if some men perceive them as … unattractive. The cross-referenced stats show that the more men as a group disagree about a woman’s looks, the more they end up liking her. It seems guys tend to ignore females widely considered attractive and opt for women who have less dazzling appearance ratings. One observer suggests that proves that women should quit trying to minimize their flaws. (We suggest it proves that men take a pass on women they figure they don’t have a shot with.)
– TheDailyBeast.com

The woolly mammoth, extinct for thousands of years, could be brought back to life in as little as 4 years, thanks to a breakthrough in cloning technology.
– Telegraph.co.uk


1955 [56] Kevin Costner, Lynwood CA, movie actor (“The Guardian”, “Field of Dreams”)/movie director (1991 Oscar-“Dances With Wolves”)  UP NEXT: “The Company Men”, opening Friday.

1971 [40] Jonathan Davis, Bakersfield CA, rock singer/drummer/bagpiper (Korn-“Evolution”, “Twisted Transistor”)

1980 [31] Jason Segal, LA CA, TV actor (‘Marshall Eriksen’ on “How I Met Your Mother” since 2005)/movie actor (“I Love You, Man” , “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”)  COMING UP: Writes & stars in a remake of “The Muppets”, opening November 23rd.

• “Cut Yourself Some Slack Day”, a day to ‘do unto ourselves what we would have others do unto us’. Hey masochist, give yourself a break!

• “Hair Dryer Appreciation Day”, a day to pause and reflect on what a gift this time-saving electrical appliance is to your daily life … just as it zaps a jolt up your right ulna.

• “Rid the World of Fad Diets Day” part of the 18th annual celebration of “Healthy Weight Week”, promoting healthy living habits to prevent eating & weight problems, rather than intensifying them, as diets do. To mark the occasion, the ‘Slim Chance Awards’ are announced, citing the worst weight-loss products and programs of the past year.
NET: http://www.healthyweight.net/hww.htm

• “Thesaurus Day”, celebrating the birthday of the author of “Roget’s Thesaurus”. Peter Roget was born on this day in 1779. Say, what’s another word for thesaurus anyway?

• “Winnie the Pooh Day”, honoring the birthday of “Winnie-the-Pooh” author AA Milne (1882-1956) in London UK. (Disney says thanks for the profits, dude.)

1980 [31] NYC’s Studio 54 owners Steve Rubell & Ian Schrager are sentenced to 3-and-a-half years in prison for tax evasion (becomes known as ‘the day disco died’)

2000 [11] 38-year-old TV actor Michael J Fox announces he’s leaving TV comedy “Spin City” to fight Parkinson’s disease

1996 [15] Lisa Marie Presley files for divorce from Michael Jackson

1989 [22] Donald Burns of Bermuda becomes ‘World’s Loudest Human’ by shouting at a level of 119 decibels

1997 [14] Norwegian Borge Ousland crosses Antarctica, all 1,675 miles … alone! (so how do we know he really did it?)

2005 [06] The Airbus A380, ‘World’s Largest Commercial Jet’ (800 passengers), is unveiled at a ceremony in Toulouse, France

[Wed] Tin Can Day
[Wed] Full ‘Wolf’ Moon
[Wed] “American Idol” season debut (FOX)
[Thurs] Sundance Film Festival begins
[Thurs] Disc Jockey Day
[Thurs] Women in Blue Jeans Day
[Thurs] Women’s Healthy Weight Day
This Week Is … Handwriting Analysis Week
This Month Is … International Quality of Life Month


The official opening date of this snakebit Broadway musical has been delayed once again, to March 15th. What else could go wrong? How about …
• ‘The Sandman’ blows sand in the throats of audience members during quiet moments.
• Just before intermission, ‘The Lizard’ backs up all the toilets.
• ‘Green Goblin’ releases a hallucinogenic gas that makes the audience think they’re at U2’s “PopMart Tour”.
• ‘Venom’ symbiotically attaches himself to everyone’s feet, then makes the entire audience walk up a block to watch the musical everyone really wants to watch … “American Idiot”.
• ‘The Kingpin’ buys up all the tickets and sells them at exorbitant prices on StubHub.com.
• ‘J Jonah Jameson’ writes the first official review in “The Daily Bugle”.
– Thanks to Marco Kaye

I’m safe from identity theft … nobody wants to be me.

Black-eyed peas are not actually peas. What are they?
a. Really small asparagus.
b. Carrots in disguise.
c. A type of bean. [CORRECT]
d. A laxative.
– “Totally Trivial”

Today’s Question: According to new research, if someone lies a lot they often crave THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Mouthwash.

When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.

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