Thursday, January 19, 2017 – Edition: #5893

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

★ Tom Hardy, Aidan Turner, and James Norton have emerged as the latest front-runners to succeed Daniel Craig as the next ‘James Bond’. British bookies have made the trio of actors 3-to-1 favorites to next take on the ‘007’ role. Before anything happens, Craig has to announce that he’s steeping down. He’s yet to officially confirm whether or not he’ll be back for another ‘Bond’ film after 2015’s “Spectre”. Reports have suggested the ‘Bond’ franchise producers have offered him a fortune to come back for one more movie.
★ Celebrity mogul Kevin O’Leary has announced he’ll run for the leadership of Canada’s Conservative Party. The reality TV star (“Dragon’s Den” in Canada, “Shark Tank” in the US), bowed out of the French-language leadership debate in Québec City QC on Tuesday night … because he speaks no French. But one advantage the multi-millionaire does have – there are no limitations on how much money you can spend on the securing the leadership. He has until February 27th to officially file his candidacy papers. (Who would possibly pick an acerbic, rich, reality TV guy to be a political leader. It could never happen, right?)
★ Tennis superstar Serena Williams says she won’t start planning her wedding until after the Australian Open wraps in February. The 35-year-old has previously dated Drake, Common, and Grigor Dimitrov. Last month, Serena revealed the happy news of her engagement to Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian on her verified Reddit account. Quote: ”[Being engaged] feels good. I really haven’t thought about it too much, because I wasn’t even really gonna think about it until after the tournament.”
– “Us Weekly”
★ Tonight was supposed to be the debut of Brit TV film “Urban Myths”, which features lily-white actor Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson. It also stars Stockard Channing as Elizabeth Taylor and Brian Cox as Marlon Brando and tells the story of a fabled road trip the 3 real-life stars took following the 9/11 terror attacks. However, after Sky Arts ran a trailer for the film, vehement backlash about whitewashing has caused the comedy to be cancelled. Fiennes says that, although the film is “not a biopic”, he understands why people are “up in arms”.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ And Priyanka Chopra has returned to shooting “Quantico” after recovering from an on-set injury. The Bollywood star suffered a concussion when she slipped and fell, hitting her head hard on the ground, while shooting a stunt scene for the FBI drama a week ago. Season 2 of the ABC-TV series begins airing next Monday. After being hospitalized for treatment, she was released a few hours later. She’s been recovering at home but it said to still feel the effects of the accident. (At least, until the insurance claim is settled.)
– ET Online

• “The Good Place” (NBC) – Kristen Bell & Ted Danson star as Season 1 of this high-concept sitcom wraps up with back-to-back new episodes.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Maren Morris (“Hero”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Diiv (“Is the Is Are”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Fitz & The Tantrums (self-titled).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club’s Leah Shapiro.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Bash & Pop (“Anything Could Happen”).
• “Mom” (CBS/City) – Movie actor Chris Pratt guest-stars as a romantic interest for ‘Christy’ (Anna Faris, his real-life wife). Pratt jokes he’s been preparing for a “sexy scene” with his wife for the “past 10 years”.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Panic! At the Disco (“Death Of a Bachelor”).
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – Idina Menzel (“idina.”).

• Aerosmith – First Elton John and Mariah Carey did it on the weekend, and now Steven Tyler has made some moolah on the side as a wedding singer. Tyler did the deed at the nuptials for NASCAR driver Kurt Busch and polo-playing model Ashley Van Metre. Busch is apparently a lifelong Aerosmith fan. No word on what or if Tyler was paid.
• A$AP Rocky – He and Kendall Jenner have been spotted jewelry shopping together. The 21-year-old model and the rapper have been rumored to be dating since August.
• Dierks Bentley – His “What the Hell Tour” kicks off tonight in Dayton OH, and this time he’s bringing his buddies Cole Swindell and Jon Pardi with him. Dates are slated through May 5th in Wichita KS.
• Michael Bublé – He’s pulled out of hosting next month’s Brit Awards as he focuses on his 3-year-old son Noah who is battling liver cancer. The crooner was announced as host of the annual UK music awards late last year.
• Prince – His estate has until Saturday to file a tax payment for the late rock superstar, and the taxes are expected to ultimately swallow nearly half the estate’s estimated $200-million value. Estate law experts say Prince could have prevented that had he planned ahead.
• The Weeknd – Model Bella Hadid is said to be “hurt and betrayed” by his new relationship with Selena Gomez. Bella and The Weeknd had just recently ended an 18-month relationship, however, multiple sources say Selena hasn’t broken any “girl code” as she and Bella have never been close friends.
• Young Thug – He’s pulled out of a New Zealand gig after visa troubles … in neighboring Australia. He’d been scheduled to perform in Auckland January 30th and received an entry visa from New Zealand immigration officials. However, he’s been refused a visa by authorities in Australia, where he was slotted to perform 5 more dates.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Deadpool 2” – This upcoming sequel is said to be setting up an “X-Force” movie, introducing the military mutant black ops squad created by Marvel Comics. “Deadpool” star Ryan Reynolds has sparked speculation that Pierce Brosnan will play ‘Cable’ in the next film. “Deadpool 2” is due in theaters in March of 2018.
• “Dumbo” – Will Smith in talks to star in Disney’s new live-action version of its classic 1941 animated film. The story is about a big-eared baby elephant (his name is the title) who learns to fly in the circus. Tim Burton’s new adaptation is said to be lining up Tom Hanks to play a villain. But is a circus film going to fly these days? Maybe they should talk to Ringling Bros.
• “I, Tonya” – Margot Robbie is morphing into disgraced 1990s figure skater Tonya Harding in this new bio-film. While shooting the movie in Atlanta GA as both star and a producer, Margot has been donning an extremely convincing fat suit, and having her blonde hair styled into a curly frizz with combed bangs. The movie is set to be released in 2018.
• “Ocean’s Eight” – A slew of cameo appearances are lined up for this crime heist movie reboot: James Corden, Kim Kardashian West, Kendall Jenner, Zayn Malik, and Maria Sharapova. The main cast includes Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, and Rihanna. The flick is a female-led spin-off from the original “Ocean’s” trilogy of films.
• “White Men Can’t Jump” – “Black-ish” creator Kenya Barris is developing a remake of the 1992 sports comedy that starred Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, and Rosie Perez. Barris is teaming up with NBA player Blake Griffin and NFL player Ryan Kalil to produce the project. The TV producer-screenwriter is also writing the script for the movie.

If there’s one thing that unites radically individualistic Millennials, it’s their love of coffee. And if you’re thinking there might be a link between this copious coffee consumption and notoriously bad Millennial money-saving habits, you’re right. According to a recent SurveyMonkey report, almost half of Millennials have spent more money on coffee than on retirement investing. Considering that coffee is one of the cheapest pleasures in life, that’s a lot of flat whites and cold brews. By extension, the new finding could significantly drive up the average retirement age of an entire generation. (That’s OK, life expectancy will be like 165 by then anyway. Drink up!)

Ant Cow
Ant Lion
Burro Deer
Cat Squirrel
Cattle Egret
Deer Tiger
Flea Beetle
Rhinoceros Beetle
Sable Antelope
Scorpion Fly

A new study finds there’s a window of time spent on gadgets that can be beneficial. Brit researchers have analyzed the on-screen time reported by 120,000 15-year-olds and concluded there are indeed beneficial effects to ‘screen time’, including enhanced creativity and communication skills. But how much is too much? The scientists have drawn up a ‘Goldilocks zone’, the weekday usage that is not too little and not too much …
Computer: 4 hours, 17 minutes.
Smartphone: 1 hour and 57 minutes.
Videogames: 1 hour, 40 minutes.
TV & movies: 3 hours, 41 minutes.
Unfortunately, the study doesn’t measure the cumulative effect of several devices. (Because the total time of all of the above exceeds 11½ hours!)
– BBC News

• All electric trains in The Netherlands are powered entirely by wind energy.
– “Vice News”
• Iceland has the most views on Pornhub per capita of any country in the world.


1946 [71] Dolly Parton, Sevierville TN, country singer-songwriter (“I Will Always Love You”)/movie actress (“9 to 5”)/amusement park owner (“Dollywood”)

1954 [63] Katey Sagal, Hollywood CA, TV actress (“Sons of Anarchy” 2008-14, “Married With Children” 1987-97)/movie actress (“Pitch Perfect 2”)

1972 [45] Drea de Matteo, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Det Tess Nazario’ on “Shades of Blue” since 2016, “The Sopranos” 1999-2006)

1982 [35] Jodie Sweetin, LA CA, TV actress (‘Stephanie Tanner’ on ABC-TV’s “Full House” 1987-95 and “Fuller House” since 2016 on Netflix)

1992 [25] Mac Miller, Pittsburgh PA, rapper/producer (w/Ariana Grande-“The Way”, w/Cobra Starship-“Middle Finger”)/ Ariana Grande’s boyfriend since 2016

• “Edgar Allan Poe Birth Anniversary”, celebrating the 1809 birth of the famed American writer of “The Raven”, who’s also credited as being the inventor of the mystery novel.

• “Neon Sign Day”, patented 102 years ago by George Claude of Paris, France in 1915. Imagine Las Vegas without his invention.

• “Popcorn Day”, a day to celebrate the healthy (until you load it with salt & butter) and addictive treat.

• “Tin Can Day”, marking the patent of a process for storing food in tin cans issued to Ezra Daggett & Thomas Kensett.

• “World Day of Migrants & Refugees”. What sounds like a very current observance was actually initiated way back in 1914 by Pope Pius X.

2011 [06] Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler makes his debut appearance as a judge on the Season 10 premiere of FOX-TV’s “American Idol”, replacing Simon Cowell

2012 [05] The documentary “Searching for Sugar Man” premieres at the Sundance Film Festival, revealing the unbelievable-but-true singing career of Sixto Rodríguez (now on Netflix)

2016 [01] Singer-songwriter Don McLean (“American Pie”) is arrested for domestic violence against his wife in Camden, Maine BS FACTOID: Maybe the fight was about cheating? The 71-year-old is now set to wed his 22-year-old girlfriend, Paris Dylan.

2009 [08] Jeff Healey sweeps 3 awards including ‘Entertainer Of the Year’ at the 12th annual “Maple Blues Awards” in Toronto ON

2006 [11] NASA launches the 1st ever Pluto space probe with the $700 million ‘New Horizons’ mission (reaches Pluto in 2015)

2015 [02] American skier Lindsey Vonn wins her 63rd World Cup, surpassing the 35-year-old previous record of 62 wins by Austrian skier Annemarie Moser-Proell

[Fri] US Inauguration Day (Washington DC)
[Fri] Cheese Lovers Day
[Fri] Penguin Awareness Day
[Sat] Squirrel Appreciation Day
[Sun] Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day
This Week Is … Hunt for Happiness Week
This Month Is … International Wealth Mentality Month


“How about a breadstick you can sleep on called the bedstick?”
“It’s the first of the month – everyone wash your hands!”
“Is it pronounced ‘Italian’ or ‘Eye-talian?'”
“I want 50 ideas for scampi on my desk by Monday.”
“Have we tried deep-fried lasagna?”
“Whoa … I’m starting to think it wasn’t oregano in that baggie.”
“What other shapes of meat could we make besides balls?”
“Noodle fight!”

☎ What’s the worst thing about your gender?

• Which animal has a tongue that is longer than its tail?
a. Cow
b. Chameleon [CORRECT]
c. Cat

• What sea creature is 95% water?
a. Jellyfish [CORRECT]
b. Whale
c. ‘Ariel’
– “Trivia Crack”

He’s as sharp as a beach ball.

Question: 4-out-of-5 of us think we’re good at THIS, but we’re really not.
Answer: Spelling.

No one is listening until you fart.

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