Monday, January 2, 2012 Edition: #4659
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
All “Bull Sheet” subscribers have received account credits for missed service days over the holiday season. Hope you had a good one!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Lady Gaga, who is a vocal campaigner for gay rights, has been named the most charitable star of 2011 in a new list compiled by DoSomething.org, which recognizes stars for philanthropic efforts. Justin Bieber claimed 2nd place, thanks in part to support of the Pencils of Promise charity. George Clooney ranks 3rd, ahead of Will & Jada Smith, and eco-friendly actor Leonardo DiCaprio.
• 55-year-old former “Fresh Prince Of Bel Air” actress Janet Hubert has crushed any fan hopes of a full cast reunion, saying she’ll never re-team with Will Smith. The rest of the cast got together for a charity luncheon in December, 15 years after the hit TV sitcom ended. But Hubert is now revealing why she was a no-show, calling Smith ‘an egomaniac who has not grown up’ and an ‘a–hole. Ouch!
• “Sherlock Holmes” star Robert Downey Jr admits he once asked his animal lover wife Susan to promise never to bring home a rescued pet, because he didn’t want some ‘tripod abused animal’ around the house. But now he’s changed his tune, saying he can’t imagine life without his rescued kittens ‘Monty’ and ‘Dart’. In fact, he vows he’d protect them with his life.
– “Men’s Fitness”
• Hip-hop superstars Jay-Z & Kanye West (“Watch the Throne”) have reportedly been paid $6 million for a private concert in Dubai, UAE shortly before Christmas. The lucrative gig was a 16th birthday present for the niece of billionaire Sheikh Mansour, who owns Manchester City Football Club of England’s Premier League. Their massive haul for the gig works out to about $555 a second … each.
– “The Sun”
• It’s the sad story of a faded star: 80-year-old ailing actress Anita Ekberg has appealed for financial aid from the executors of the estate of director Federico Fellini, who made her a mega-star in his landmark 1960 film “La Dolce Vita” (which originated the term ‘paparazzi’). The Swedish-born Ekberg is wheelchair-bound and living in a seniors’ home near Rome, Italy since her house was burned down during a burglary. As yet, the Fellini Foundation has not replied.
– “La Stampa”
• And Jennifer Aniston is atop a new ranking of female celebs ‘Most Likely to Inspire a Real-Life Makeover’. Halle Berry, Sofia Vergara, Cameron Diaz, and Blake Lively have also made the top 5. Aniston also tops the vote for ‘Dream Workout Buddy’, just ahead of Reese Witherspoon. Jennifer Hudson is lauded for ‘Best Diet Spokesperson Transformation’. Meanwhile, Lady Gaga more than doubled Kim Kardashian in the vote for ‘Celebrity Most in Need Of a Make-UNDER’.
– “Fitness Magazine”
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelor” (ABC) – In the 16th season premiere, a septuagenarian confesses her love for bachelor Ben Flajnik.
• “Celebrity Wife Swap” (ABC) – In the series premiere, former child star (“Growing Pains”) and self-described control freak Tracey Gold trades lives for a week with former pop singer and free spirit Carnie Wilson (Wilson Phillips).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Coldplay (“Mylo Xyloto”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Lukas Nelson & Promise Of the Real (“Promise Of the Real”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Eliza Doolittle (“Eliza Doolittle”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Twin Shadow (“Forget”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Amber Riley (“Glee”). Rerun.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – A performance by the Broadway cast of “Sister Act”.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Coldplay – Frontman Chris Martin tells “Daily Mirror” he’s resolved not to swear as much in 2012. Quote: “My swearing has been terrible recently … I’m sorry to everyone.”
• Danny Gokey – The former “American Idol” runner-up has announced plans to marry model Leyicet Peralta in late January. His first wife, Sofia, died in 2008 of complications from routine surgery shortly before he became an “Idol” contestant.
• Drake – He says he was shocked when he saw the photo of a fan who had his name tattooed across her forehead. And he’s not happy with the tattoo artist who agreed to ink the image on the young woman’s face. Quote: “You should lose your job and never do tattoos again.”
• Florence & The Machine – Though fashion-conscious singer Florence Welch has been working with Karl Lagerfeld on his Chanel runway shows, she says she would find it impossible for her to personally ever appear ‘polished’ as she’s always ‘slightly scruffy’.
• Katy Perry – Seems the rumors are true, she is getting divorced after just 14 months of marriage. Russell Brand has confirmed the split in a press release. Quote: “Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.” Yeah, right.
• Lady Gaga – She’s said to be looking at a $1.7-million property in the gated Bent Creek Community near Lancaster, Pennsylvania in order to be closer to her current boyfriend, “Vampire Diaries” actor Taylor Kinney. She’s been spotted in the area with Kinney at local restaurants and shops on numerous occasions.
• Martina McBride – In a diet confessional with “OK!” magazine, she says you should eat whatever you want but everything in moderation. Her favorite treats? Broccoli and chocolate ice cream. Presumably not together.
• Sinead O Connor – The Irish singer (“Nothing Compares 2 U”) has split from her new husband Barry Herridge less than a month after their drive-thru wedding in Las Vegas. She admits on her website she made a mistake by rushing to get married after just a few months of dating.
• Van Halen – After months of rumors they’ve finally confirmed they’re going back on tour with original vocalist David Lee Roth for the first time since 2007. The first tickets and a listing of venues are coming on January 10th.
It seems the old saying about waking up on the wrong side can be true. According to a new UK-based survey of 3,000 adults, those who sleep on the left side of a double bed are better off in several ways than their right-side counterparts. A few poll highlights …
• 66% of those who doze on the left reckon they are calmer than their partner in a crisis.
• 31% of left-siders claim they love their jobs, compared to only 18% of righties.
• 26% of those who snooze on the left say they have a ‘really positive outlook on life’, compared to just 18% of right-side sleepers.
But it’s not all bad for right-siders – they tend to earn more than their left-side partners. (This is all great but … is it the left when you’re at the foot of the bed or the left when you’re in it?)
– “Daily Mail”
HOW TO SELL BREAKUP MEMORIES:
Saying goodbye to a significant other often means saying hello to a pile of well-worn cliches: A frayed box piled with mementos you can’t bear to sift through; a garage sale peddling expensive keepsakes for $1 apiece; a never-used wedding dress gathering dust in the closet. Thanks to a new startup, ‘Never Liked It Anyway’, post-relationship closet cleaning can be lucrative and eco-friendly. The site is a sort of eBay-meets-support-group where users sell items of sentimental value at a ‘break-up price’ and vent on the Internet while they’re at it. So the heartbroken get to purge their past while collecting some consolation cash in the process. (The other way to make money off a breakup is … write a country song.)
DID YOU KNOW?
The average webpage has grown 33% in size in the last year, up from 726 kilobytes to about 965 kilobytes.
– “Magazine Monitor”
BS CHRONOMETER 01.02.12
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1967  Tia Carrere, Honolulu HI, TV actress (“Combat Hospital” 2011, “Dancing With the Stars 2”)/movie actress (“Wayne’s World”, “True Lies”)
1968  Cuba Gooding Jr, NYC, movie actor (Academy Award-“Jerry Maguire”, “Boyz N the Hood”)
1971  Taye Diggs, Newark NJ, TV actor (‘Dr Sam Bennett’ on “Private Practice” since 2007)/movie actor (“How Stella Got Her Groove Back”)/Broadway actor (“Rent”)
1975  Doug Robb, Agoura Hills CA, one-hit-wonder alt-rock singer (Hoobastank-“The Reason”)
1975  Dax Shepard, Milford MI, TV actor (‘Crosby Braverman’ on “Parenthood” since 2010)/movie actor (“Baby Mama”, “Knocked Up”)/actress Kristen Bell’s partner since 2007
1978  Karina Smirnova, Kharkiv, Ukraine, professional ballroom dancer (10-time “Dancing With the Stars” pro, 2011 “DWTS” champion with JR Martinez)
1983  Kate Bosworth, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Straw Dogs”, “21”)
1983  Andrew Ebbett, Vernon BC, NHL center (Vancouver Canucks)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cream Puff Day”, honoring the baked puff pastry shells stuffed with a sweet and rich filling. The first originated in Europe sometime during the 1540s when Catherine de Medici’s pastry chef created them for her husband, France’s Henry II.
• “Festival of Sleep Day”, as declared by some anonymous walking zombie somewhere. Thanks to a combination of late hours, alcohol, rich foods, exposure to unfamiliar surroundings, and artificial light deep into the night over the holiday season, experts say most of us build up ‘sleep debt’, a condition which can affect how well we sleep for weeks afterward.
• “Happy Mew Year for Cats Day, because cats insist on holidays all their own.
• “Motivation & Inspiration Day”. You’re going to need some in order to keep that New Year’s resolution!
• “Thank God It’s Monday Day”, celebrating all the great things that happen on Mondays. Things like new jobs; new promotions; new week; new resolutions; birthdays; and all those other things that give you reason to celebrate
• “World Series of Beer Pong VII” through Thursday at the Flamingo Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, the largest, longest-running organized beer pong (aka Beirut) tournament in the world. Last years event drew over 1,000 participants from 45 US states and 5 Canadian provinces, offering the largest payout in beer pong history … $65,000.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008  Late-night TV talk shows return to the air 2 months into a writers’ strike (David Letterman and Craig Ferguson have interim agreements allowing writers to work on their shows; Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, and Jimmy Kimmel return without writers)
2011  English actor Pete Postlethwaite (“The Town”, “Inception”) dies of cancer at age 64
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2008  “Billboard Magazine” reveals that Paul McCartney has undergone a secret coronary angioplasty procedure
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1971  1st ‘No-Fault Divorce Law’ goes into effect, in California
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2009  A rare, unrestored 1937 Bugatti Type 57S Atalante Coupe is found in the garage of English surgeon Harold Carr, who’d died 2 years previously (a month later, it sells at auction in Paris for a whopping $4.4 million … thereby thrilling his heirs)
BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Jan 3] Drinking Straw Day / JRR Tolkien Day / Chocolate-Covered Cherry Day
[Jan 4] Earth at Perihelion / Pop Music Chart Day / Tom Thumb Day / Trivia Day / World Braille Day / World Hypnotism Day
[Jan 5] “Jersey Shore” 5th season debut (MTV) / Bean Day / Bird Day
[Jan 6] “The Devil Inside” opens in movie theaters / Epiphany or Twelfth Night / Three Kings Day
[Jan 7] I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore Day / International Programmers Day / Orthodox Christmas
[Jan 8] Bubble Bath Day / English Toffee Day / Midwives Day / Show & Tell Day at Work / War on Poverty Day
[Jan 9] Full ‘Wolf’ Moon/ Clean Off Your Desk Day
[Jan 10] Cut Your Energy Costs Day / United Nations Day
[Jan 11] “People’s Choice Awards” (CBS)
[Jan 12] “The Finder” series premiere (FOX)
[Jan 13] “Beauty & The Beast 3-D”; “Contraband”; “Joyful Noise” open in movie theaters / Friday the 13th / Blame Someone Else Day / 1st ‘Winter Youth Olympics’ open (Innsbruck, Austria)
[Jan 14] Caesarean Section Day / Dress Up Your Pet Day / Organize Your Home Day / “Miss America Pageant” (Las Vegas) / Orthodox New Year
[Jan 15] “2012 Golden Globe Awards” (NBC) / “Napoleon Dynamite” series premiere (FOX) / Humanitarian Day / Religious Freedom Day
[Jan 16] Martin Luther King Day (USA) / “Alcatraz” series premiere (FOX) / Appreciate a Dragon Day / World Religion Day
[Jan 17] Kid Inventors Day / Rid The World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Jan 18] “American Idol” season premiere (FOX) / Winnie The Pooh Day / Thesaurus Day / Pro-Life Day
[Jan 19] Popcorn Day / Tin Can Day / Women in Blue Jeans Day / Women’s Healthy Weight Day
[Jan 20] “Haywire”; “Red Tails”; “Underworld Awakening” open in movie theaters / Disc Jockey Day / International Fetish Day
[Jan 21] Hugging Day / Fancy Rat & Mouse Day
[Jan 22] Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day / Celebration of Life Day
[Jan 23] Chinese New Year / Handwriting Day / Pie Day / Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day
[Jan 24] Global Belly Laugh Day / Beer Can Day / Compliment Day / Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
[Jan 25] “Touch” special preview (FOX) / A Room of One’s Own Day / Macintosh Computer Day / World Leprosy Day
[Jan 26] Oscar nominations announced / Peanut Brittle Day
[Jan 27] “The Grey”; “Man On a Ledge”; “One For the Money” open in movie theaters / Holocaust Memorial Day / Preschool Fitness Day / Thomas Crapper Day / Vietnam Peace Day / Fun at Work Day
[Jan 28] Data Privacy Day / Kazoo Day / Seed Swap Day / Thank a Plug-in Developer Day
[Jan 29] “18th SAG Awards” (TBS) / Curmudgeons Day / Freethinkers Day / Puzzle Day / Guide Dog Day
[Jan 30] Inane Answering Message Day / Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
[Jan 31] Asteroid 433 Eros passes by Earth / Inspire Your Heart With Art Day
[Feb 5] Super Bowl 46 (Indianapolis)
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
MOST-RETURNED BS GIFT ITEMS:
• ‘The Wonderbra for Dads’
• ‘Super-Duper Eye Gouger’ from Mattel
• Pancake syrup from ‘Ebola Farms’
• The Sunbeam ‘6-Slice Shower Toaster’
• The Black & Decker ‘Forehead Sander’
• ‘Bag of Live Mice’
• ‘Giant Cow-Ass Jeans’ from Jordache
• ‘Lick Me – The Board Game’
First published in “BS” 1999.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What would you do with a personal slave for a day? Get a pedicure? Massage? Have your toilet cleaned?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which sport causes more ankle injuries?
b. Basketball. [CORRECT. Over 3 times more than any other sport.]
– “Fitness Plus Magazine”
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The sounds of January are upon us – the crackling of wood in the fireplace, the tinkling of snowflakes on the window pane, the cutting up of credit cards at the kitchen table …
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In a new survey, 1-in-3 men admit to doing THIS at least once.
Answer: Plucking their eyebrows.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The greatest ability is dependability.
NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Thanks to Paul James @ 95.9 The Eagle [KZZI] Rapid City, South Dakota, who’s just re-upped for more “BS” (17th year!); and we welcome aboard samplers that include Hillary Edman @ Country 101.1 [KRMD] Shreveport, Louisiana; Justin Wallin @ HotSpot Radio, Chattanooga, Tennessee; Lori Sharp @ Q102 [WUSQ] Winchester, Virginia; Michael Sheerin @ Radio St Helier, Carshalton UK; and Brad Boyer @ Good Time Oldies 1450 [KIRX] Kirksville, Missouri.