Monday, January 21, 2013        Edition: #4908

Deja Moo!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Saturday, at a Barrett-Jackson auto auction in Scottsdale, Arizona, 56-year-old businessman Rick Champagne bought the original ‘Batmobile’ from the iconic 1966-68 “Batman” TV series with a bid of $4.2 million. The black, futuristic 2-seater is based on a 1955 Lincoln Futura, a concept car built in Italy by the Ford Motor Co. The auction was the first time the car has been put up for public sale. (After you wow your friends a few times it’s not very practical … no trunk for groceries.)
– Reuters.com
• Actor Charlie Sheen tells CNN’s Piers Morgan he scheduled his ill-fated one-man comedy tour “My Violent Torpedo Of Truth/Death Is Not An Option” following his axing from TV’s “Two-And-a-Half Men” in 2011 because he was so broke he couldn’t afford to pay child support, mortgages, and other bills. Many of the live shows were met with mixed reviews, and some disastrous gigs ended in walkouts and heckling. Sheen admits: “I didn’t have an act.” (You got that one precisely correct, sir.)
– WENN.com
• The Kardashians have become the latest celebrity ‘swatting’ victims following a hoax call on Friday night. Police took over Bruce & Kris Jenner’s Hidden Hills home near Los Angeles after receiving a 9-1-1 call reporting that someone had been shot on the property. The caller claimed to be locked inside a closet in the house. (We wouldn’t be at all surprised if the attention-craving caller had the initials ‘KK’.)
– TMZ.com.
• The show biz Walhberg brothers – producer/actor Mark (“Broken City”), singer/actor Donnie (New Kids On the Block), and chef Paul have begun filming a new reality TV show that follows the entrepreneurial family as they build business for their burger restaurant in Hingham, Massachusetts … aptly called ‘Wahlburgers’. Patrons are being asked to sign waivers to allow filming. The final product will air on the History Channel. (Do any of these guys really need the money?)
– RelaxNews.com
• And disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong is still lying, investigators close to his case tell ABC News. In last week’s interview with Oprah Winfrey on her OWN channel, Armstrong insisted he stopped doping in 2005 when he went into retirement after his 7th Tour de France victory. But he returned to the pro ranks in 2009 and raced the legendary Tour de France again, and the investigators say blood tests from 2009 show he again received transfusions of mature red blood cells. It’s thought he may still be lying to protect himself from potential criminal charges. (This guy’s only hope … face transplant and a name change.)
– RadarOnline.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelor” (ABC) – Bachelor Sean Lowe surprises 2 girls with a performance by the Eli Young Band (“Life at Best”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Coheed & Cambria (“The Afterman: Descension”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Brad Paisley (“This is Country Music”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Jezabels (“Prisoner”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – T.I. (“Trouble Man: Heavy Is the Head”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – DIIV (“Oshin”). Rerun.
• Presidential Inauguration” (ABC/CBS/NBC/PBS) – Beyoncé sings the anthem; Kelly Clarkson performs “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee”; James Taylor “America the Beautiful” during Barack Obama’s 2nd swearing -in ceremony on the West Front of the Capitol building in Washington DC. Other performers appearing during inauguration weekend at the Washington Convention Center: Alicia Keys, John Legend, Katy Perry, Marc Anthony, Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, and Usher.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Lord Huron (“Lonesome Dreams”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• David Bowie – Producer Tony Visconti tells “Rolling Stone” that the 66-year-old rock veteran has no plans to tour or even promote his ‘comeback’ album “The Next Day” (out March 12th). However, Visconti notes it is possible Bowie could play a one-off concert at some point … if he feels like it.
• Gloriana – The country band performed the anthem ahead of the NFL’s “AFC Championship Game” last night in Foxboro, Massachusetts.
• Jason Aldean – He’s added NYC’s Madison Square Garden to the list of venues that have sold out in less than 10 minutes for his “Night Train Tour”. That show’s slotted for March 2nd.
• Justin Bieber – He’s shown off his cheeky side with a picture of his bare behind posted to his Instagram and Twitter accounts Saturday night. And you thought modern technology was a waste of time.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s announced the release of his as-yet-untitled new album for April 30th.
• Luke Bryan – He’s adding to the current 21-city run of his SRO “Dirt Road Diaries Tour”. A 2nd leg begins May 17th in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Florida Georgia Line and Thompson Square are special guests on both legs.
• Muse – Tonight they kick off their 21-date North American tour in San Diego, California that winds up April 26th in Québec City, Québec. They’ll then head back to Europe where they’ve added 7 more stadium gigs to their 2013 itinerary.
• One Direction – Director Morgan Spurlock has confirmed they’ll start filming their 3-D film in Tokyo, Japan this month. The movie is slated for an August 30th release and will mix concert footage with behind-the-scenes clips.
• Rihanna – Her collection of clothing & accessories for British brand River Island is set for its catwalk debut on February 16th during London Fashion Week. The highly-anticipated collaboration hits stores March 5th.

WHEN POPCORN WAS UNPOPULAR:
Today, concession sales often account for as much as 40% of a movie theater’s profits. But popcorn wasn’t always welcome at the movies. Popcorn vendors of the late 19th century weren’t the most respectable folks. They simply went to where the people were, whether on the city street or a noisy outdoor gathering like a county fair. When movie houses started opening up in the early 1900s, opportunistic popcorn vendors would often park outside – to the chagrin of theater owners who were left to sweep up the messy leftovers that wound up on the theater floor. (So they got their vengeance …. by eventually charging us 12 bucks a bucket.)
– Condensed from “Pacific Standard”

10 HALF-TRUTHS WE LIVE WITH:
Things may not always be exactly what they seem and it seems we often don’t really mind. A few misleading notions that we’ve come to accept in everyday life …
• A ‘2-by-4’ at a lumberyard is not actually 2 inches by 4 inches. (More like 1½ X 3½.)
• Peanuts are not really ‘nuts’. (They’re legumes.)
• The American buffalo is not a ‘buffalo’. (It’s a bison.)
• A koala bear is not a ‘bear’. (It’s a marsupial.)
• A starfish isn’t a ‘fish’. (It’s an echinoderm … but then, who can actually say that?)
• A palm tree is not a ‘tree’. (In reality, it’s a form of grass.)
• ‘Swollen glands’ are not actually glands. (They are a series of lymph nodes.)
• A mountain goat is not really a ‘goat’. (It’s more closely related to the ‘chamois’ of the Alps.)
• Pink is not exactly a color. (There is no pink light; it’s a made-up color that happens when the red and violet sides of the spectrum are artificially put together.)
• Subway’s foot-long sub isn’t 12 inches-long. (Baking can cause a 1-inch shrinkage.)
– NPR.org

PARANOID PET OWNERS:
Pet owners are increasingly turning to technology to keep track of their critters. Devices such as infrared cameras and night-vision monoculars that can ferret out a hidden pet are being used to supplement more established social media tools such as Facebook and Twitter to keep animals safe. A spokesman for the American Pet Products Association says electronics now represent a significant sector of the $56 billion that consumers spend annually on pets … and sales are expected to grow. Why? As helicopter parents who endlessly hover over our kids, we are now beginning to hover over our pets. (If this is true, we want to know why there always seem to be a half-dozen cats in the backyard … and we don’t own any.)
– Adapted from “Boston Globe”

GIVE IT A REST:
Dr Matthew Sleeth, author of “24/6: A Prescription For a Healthier, Happier Life”, notes that for almost 2,000 years, Western culture stopped for about 24 hours on Sundays. Even a half-century ago, you couldn’t buy gasoline; you couldn’t buy milk; drugstores were closed. The only thing open were hospitals. Dairy farmers would milk cows, but wouldn’t bring in hay. And so society just had a day where they ‘put it in park’. That was Sunday … until the last 30 years or so. By contrast, we now go 24/7, and Sleeth thinks it’s having health consequences by bringing us depression and anxiety. (Yeah, yesterday was super-stressful … 7 hours of football interrupted by hourly refrigerator runs. We’re positively pooped.)
– Sourced from CNN.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
✓ Overbites didn’t become common until everyone started eating with a knife & fork. (Queen’s Freddy Mercury must have started really early. NET: http://tinyurl.com/avrl74f)
– TheAtlantic.com
✓ 2% of Europeans lack the genes for smelly armpits. (We’re pretty sure a lot of them migrated to Paris.)
– “Scientific American”

BS CHRONOMETER 01.21.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [57] (Virginia) Geena Davis, Wareham MA, 6-ft movie actress (“Thelma & Louise”, Oscar-“The Accidental Tourist”)

1973 [40] Chris Kilmore, Dillsburg PA, rock DJ (Incubus-“Love Hurts”, “Anna Molly”)

1976 [37] Emma Bunton, London UK, pop singer (ex-Spice Girls-“Say You’ll Be There”, “Wannabe”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hugging Day”, a day to hug anyone who will accept a hug and to see how many you can hug before the day is over (make sure you have a lawyer on retainer). ‘The Most Huggable People of the Year’ are announced here …
NET: http://www.nationalhuggingday.com

• “Martin Luther King Day” in America, a federal holiday observed annually on the 3rd Monday of January celebrating the life and achievements of late civil rights leader Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-68).

• “Squirrel Appreciation Day”. So take a moment today and think about the squirrels. (Huh?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2004 [09] Recording Industry Association of America sues 532 individual computer users that it claims are illegally distributing songs online (well, that certainly put a stop to it!)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1915 [98] ‘Kiwanis International’ is founded in Detroit, Michigan (now has over 300,000 members in more than 8,000 clubs in about 80 countries)

1967 [46] 1st ‘Microwave Oven’ is marketed for the home as Amana offers a $495 counter-top unit  BS FACTOID: The microwave was invented by accident in 1946, when Raytheon Corp engineer Percy Spencer noticed a candy bar in his pocket melted during tests of a new vacuum tube called a ‘magnetron’.

2009 [04] Toyota officially passes GM as the world’s largest automaker

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1993 [20] World’s ‘Largest Doughnut’ measures 16 ft in diameter and weighs 3,739 lbs (Utica NY)

2002 [11] Canadian dollar registers its all-time low against the US dollar at .6179 (it’s now at par)

2008 [05] ‘Black Monday’ in worldwide stock markets as Britain’s FTSE (footsy) has its biggest-ever one-day points fall and Asian stocks drop 15% (the pattern spreads to North America, leading to the global economic turndown)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day
[Tues] Celebration of Life Day
[Tues] Rid The World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Wed] Handwriting Day
[Thurs] Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
[Thurs] Women’s Healthy Weight Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Activity Professionals Week / Clean Out Your Inbox Week / Handwriting Analysis Week / Healthy Weight Week / Hunt For Happiness Week / International Printing Week / No Name-Calling Week / Nurse Anesthetists Week / Take Back Your Time Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS TODDLER PROPERTY LAWS:
● If I like it, it’s mine. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
● If I saw it first, it’s mine.
● If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
● If it’s broken, it’s yours.
– First published in “BS” 1999.

LIFE EXPECTANCY OF APPLIANCES:
The average time before death, according to the National Association of Home Builders …
• Microwave Oven … 9 Years.
• Dishwasher … 9 Years.
• Washing Machine … 10.
• Freezer … 11 years.
• Electric Water Heater … 11/Gas Water Heater … 10.
• Electric/Gas Clothes Dryer … 13 Years.
• Electric Range … 13 Years/Gas Range … 15 Years.
• Electric Furnace … 15/Gas Furnace … 18.
(In actual practice, the average appliance lasts about 2 weeks past the expiry date of the warranty.)
– First published in “BS” 2008.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the absolute cutest animal on Earth? (According to “Animal Planet”, that would be the sea otter.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The only thing worse than being a bachelor is being a bachelor’s son.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which is the most recognized smell in the world?
a. Popcorn
b. Peanut Butter
c. Coffee [CORRECT]
– UPI.com

BS WEB GOODIE:
Why do we subject dumb beasts to the humiliation of dressing them up as other species? Because we can.
NET: http://animalsdressedasotheranimals.tumblr.com/

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Half of women and about one-quarter of men travel with THIS.
Answer: Their own pillow.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
No one ever says “Ah, it’s only a game” when their team is winning.

BS FRESH MEAT:
Rob Harder @ KOOL 107.1 [KPKL] Spokane WA; Rick Sawyer @ 1240 WOMT [CBS] Manitowoc  WI; Lynn Waggoner @ Oklahoma’s Greatest Hits 92.5 [KOMA] Oklahoma City OK; Alexander Ndawula @ 91.3 Capital FM Kampala, Uganda; Dave Lee @ “The WCCO Radio Morning News”, Newsradio 830 WCCO Minneapolis MN; Bronwen Hirshowtz @ Chai 101.9 FM Johannesburg, South Africa; and Chuck Reeves @ Today’s Best Country KSAM Huntsville TX.


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