Monday, January 23, 2017 – Edition: #5895

Witty? Amusing? Provocative? Sounds Like Sheet!

★ If the crowd seemed larger for Saturday’s ‘Women’s March on Washington’ than on Inauguration Day it may have been due to the YUGE turnout of celebs. Among them: Alicia Keys, Amy Schumer, Emma Watson, Jake Gyllenhaal, Julia Roberts, Katy Perry, Madonna, and Scarlett Johansson. Meantime, Charlize Theron joined Chelsea Handler and others at the ‘Women’s March On Main’ in Park City UT where the Sundance Film Festival is underway. Officials say the Washington crowd may have numbered half-a-million or more.
★ Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment pulled the plug on the premiere of the new family film “A Dog’s Purpose” over fears of an animal rights protest on the red carpet. PETA activists are calling for a boycott of the film after a video featuring footage of a German Shepherd being forced to perform in artificial rapids surfaced online last week, and now execs fear this weekend’s launch will be marred by angry activists. The film, starring Britt Robertson and Dennis Quaid, is scheduled to open this Friday. That’s looking increasingly doubtful.
★ CBS-TV has cast James Frain (“Gotham”) as ‘Sarek’, the Vulcan father of ‘Spock’ in its upcoming reboot of “Star Trek”, entitled “Star Trek: Discovery”. Along with this good news comes the announcement that the release date has been changed … again. It’s not going to be in May, as previously promised. CBS says there’s no time-frame specified right now, as it will be flexible and launch the new series when it’s best for the show. Filming in Toronto ON is scheduled to wrap in September.The release date has previously been changed twice.
★ The cast of “Downton Abbey” is still hopeful about a movie version of the hit TV series. Phyllis Logan, who played ‘Mrs Hughes’ in the long-running drama, tells “You” magazine the biggest problem may be finding a convenient time to reunite the actors. Quote: ”It’s like herding cats! We’re all so busy and in different countries, but it would be such fun to get together again. The camaraderie on set was extraordinary.” Recently, Jim Carter, who portrayed ‘Mr Carson’ on the show, revealed that the cast have been asked to clear their diaries to shoot a film of the hit period drama later this year. They better not wait too long, as Maggie Smith (‘Dowager Countess of Grantham’) recently turned 83.
– Bang Showbiz
★ And a “World of Warcraft” cooking show has debuted over the weekend in South Korea. And it’s even called “Wow! Recipe? The Meal Is Ready”. Of course it is. The show is hosted by Choi Hyun-seok, a famous chef in South Korea known from his many TV appearances. Choi is also apparently a giant “WoW” fan as he’s creating “Warcraft”-inspired dishes and talking to guests about their “World of Warcraft” experiences.

• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – James TW (“First Impressions”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kane Brown (self-titled).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wolf Parade (“Apologies To the Queen Mary”). Rerun.
• “Quantico” (ABC/CTV) – The 2nd-half of Season 2 debuts on a new night. 4 new episodes are scheduled.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Cobi (“Prophet Story”).

• Arcade Fire – All proceeds from the brand new song titled “I Give You Power” go to the American Civil Liberties Union. The track is currently a TIDAL exclusive.
• Blake Shelton – Quote on girlfriend Gwen Stefani: “I feel like the fat, ugly guy in high school that got the hottest girl in school to go to the prom with him.”
• Clay Aiken – He’s tweeted that Joe Biden should be worried about losing his Secret Service detail this week because: “If I ever meet him, I might hug him and never let go.”
• Ed Sheeran – He’s revealed that when his hit album “+” reached #1, he splurged by treating himself to ‘a ‘Death Star Lego’ kit. Wow, the extravagance!
• Jennifer Lopez – Today the 47-year-old singer is set to unveil her footwear and accessories collection with 59-year-old fashion designer Giuseppe Zanotti. The collection is appropriately called ‘Giuseppe for Jennifer Lopez. J-Lo says the collaboration was ”perfect”.
• John Mayer – He claims his new album is his most ambitious yet. He’s releasing “The Search For Everything” in stages, starting with 4 songs. He’s hoping fans will be so impressed that they will want more. He says the track “Love On the Weekend” is one of the best he’s ever written.
• Lady Antebellum – Less than 2 years after taking a hiatus, they’ve announced a new world tour covering North America, South Africa, and Europe. Tickets go on sale for the “You Look Good World Tour” this Friday. Dates begin May 26th in Bakersfield CA. Kelsea Ballerini and Brett Young are the support acts.
• Maren Morris – 2½ years ago, Tim McGraw released his “Sundown Heaven Town” album, which features a song called “Last Turn Home”. While it might not have been a big deal to the average country fan, it was everything to Morris. She co-wrote the song long before anyone had heard of her as an artist, and long before anyone had heard “My Church”.
• One Direction – Louis Tomlinson and his ex, Briana Jungwirth, have reunited to celebrate their son Freddie’s 1st birthday. On Saturday the pair, who had an acrimonious custody battle over the tot last year, put their differences aside to arrange a small party.
• Spice Girls – Former ‘Ginger Spice’ Geri Horner has announced she gave birth on Saturday and reveals the baby’s name is in part a salute to her late friend George Michael … ‘Montague George Hector Horner’.

A new study claims running could actually be good for your knees. While conventional wisdom says running is hard on the knee joints, deteriorating cartilage and causing arthritis, this new research out of Brigham Young University gives evidence that running may actually change the biochemistry of the knee to protect against inflammation and arthritis. The scientists have found that just 30 minutes of running is enough to reduce the risk factors of inflammation in knees. On the flip-side, sitting around for half-an-hour seems to increase risk factors for inflammation. One factor may be that runners tend to weigh less than the rest of the population. (Forget the knees, we’re more worried about coughing up a lung.)
– “Canadian Running Magazine”

A bar in Singapore is serving cocktails made with … ants. Yup, bartenders at Native bar are serving up the ‘Antz’ cocktail, which is touted to be crunchy and full of nutrients. It’s a yoghurt and rum-based drink blended with actual ants, then topped with a liquid nitrogen-frozen leaf, basil cubes, and more ants – this time larger, crunchier black Thai ants. The idea is that you put the entire leaf in your mouth and crunch into the ants before you drink the drink. Its creator admits that sometimes little bits of ant legs and other parts get stuck in people’s teeth. (So it’s the perfect date night drink, basically.)

✗ Y2K … Basically the world was supposed to end. Nothing happened.
✗ ‘Second Life’ … the online fantasy world just didn’t live up to the hype.
✗ Target Stores in Canada … closed after failure to understand the market.
✗ CD Encyclopedias … Encarta lasted for few a short years.
✗ 3D TV … seems nobody wanted to watch TV wearing goofy 3D glasses.
✗ Segway … not exactly a flop, but you don’t see many around.
✗ Google+ … Supposed to compete with Facebook. Well it lost, but somehow it’s still around.
✗ QR codes … Square barcodes that were supposed to change the way we interact with stuff.
✗ Apple Maps … Didn’t stand up to Google in the geography department.
✗ XFL – The Extreme Football League barely lasted 1 season

Overworking in Japan is so common there’s even a word for it: ‘karoshi’ or ‘death by overwork’. Now the country is designating the last Friday of every month as ‘Premium Friday’, with employees encouraged to sign out at 3 pm and take a breather. The move isn’t mandatory for companies, but the nation’s biggest business lobby is onboard and encouraging its members to take part when it launches February 24th. At present, most workers in Japan tend to use only half their allotted paid time off and an estimated 1-in-8 work 50 hours or more per week, the highest among G-7 nations. One problem with the new scheme is that Japan has lots of small, family-run businesses where shortened hours could be a problem. Another is that many workers worry they’ll need to squeeze in the work missed on ‘Premium Friday’ at other times. (Snort. Just say the word and we are outta here!)
– “Japan Times”

Costco inadvertently undermined the golf industry and sent golfers into a frenzy when it introduced its own line of golf balls last Fall. South Korea’s Nassau Golf, which makes balls for TaylorMade, decided to sell some of its leftovers. And Costco, being Costco, slapped a ‘Kirkland Signature’ logo on and sold them for $29.99 for 2 dozen, one of the cheapest prices anywhere. That would’ve been the end of it, except golfers started realizing the balls perform as well as higher-end golf balls, such as the Titleist Pro V1 which sells for $4 per ball. The Kirkland balls have flown off the shelves, which has not been welcome news for TaylorMade. Nassau Golf says it will no longer be selling leftovers in such high quantities. (Seems you’ll have to go back to the kid near the water hazard selling reclaimed balls by the egg carton.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

Every wine-lover knows the pain and struggle of ‘wine mouth’. Now there’s a magical new wineglass that lets you sip away without staining your teeth. ‘Wino Sippers’ are wine glasses shaped a bit like a pipe, with a stem-straw that helps you avoid smearing wine all over your lips and teeth in the process. The glasses also have little feet so they can stand alone, and they’re designed to cosily fit into your hand like a mug. It looks fancier than shoving a plastic straw in your glass, and that would just be bit silly anyway. A set of two ‘Wino Sippers’ costs $24 directly from the website. You’ll also have to pay for shipping. (You can more easily and cheaply avoid ‘wine mouth’ by drinking directly from the bottle.)

George Washington spent 7% of his presidential salary on booze.


1964 [53] Mariska Hargitay, Santa Monica CA, TV actress/producer (“Chicago PD” 2014-16, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 1999)

1975 [42] Nick Harmer, Landstuhl, Germany, rock bassist (Death Cab For Cutie-“I Will Possess Your Heart”, “Soul Meets Body”)

• “Handwriting Day”, a day set aside to recognize ‘graphology’ (handwriting analysis) and to encourage more legible handwriting.

• “Measure Your Feet Day”, a good excuse to conduct a poll to find the listener with the largest.

• “Pie Day”, celebrating the pie as an ‘art form’. Isn’t it better as a dessert?

• “Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day”, when snowplow drivers are encouraged to take out as many mailboxes as possible. High score wins! Hey, any excuse to have fewer bills delivered.

2000 [17] Heart’s Nancy Wilson & her writer/filmmaker husband Cameron Crowe become proud parents of their first and only children, twins named William & Curtis

2010 [07] Powered by the single “TiK ToK”, Kesha’s debut album “Animal” hits #1

2014 [03] 19-year-old Justin Bieber is arrested for street-racing his yellow Lamborghini in Miami Beach FL, and is also charged with resisting arrest and having an expired driving licence

2015 [02] Pop singer Mandy Moore & alt-rocker Ryan Adams announce their split after nearly 6 years of marriage

2010 [07] Britain’s Culture Ministry declares The Beatles’ Abbey Road Studios an historic site

[Tues] Belly Laugh Day
[Tues] Beer Can Day
[Tues] Phone Recycling Day
[Tues] Peanut Butter Day
[Tues] Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
[Wed] Opposite Day
[Wed] Robert Burns Day

Bald Eagle Appreciation Days / Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetists Week / Clean Out Your Inbox Week / Handwriting Analysis Week / International Hoof-Care Week / International Snowmobile Safety Week / Medical Group Practice Week


A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
✓ You live in a house with 3 sofas, none of which match.
✓ You have ever seen 2 consecutive sunrises without sleeping.
✓ You have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles.
✓ You’ve ever stayed up all night just so you wouldn’t sleep through your morning class.
✓ You’re carrying less than a dollar on you.
✓ You haven’t done laundry in so long that you’re wearing your swimsuit to class.
✓ Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.
✓ Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen noodles.
– First published in “BS” 2005.

• “Mommy, how long are they staying?”
• “I better warn you people. My dad only paid me to be good for an hour.”
• “Hey, didn’t she used to be skinnier?”
• “My dad wears ‘Captain America’ underwear.”
• “That isn’t what you said about your boss last night.”
• Your ‘Ouch-I-hit-my-thumb-with-the-hammer’ word.
• “Daaaddddddyyyyyy! I pooooooopppiiiieeed!”
– First published in “BS” 2001.

☎ Would you rather be the best player on a horrible team or the worst player on a great team?

I’ve just accidentally swallowed some ‘Scrabble’ tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

Want a pair of Trump protest pants? They’re on Kickstarter now from ‘Undies for Humanity’ …

Question: More than a quarter of women say they don’t do THIS during Winter months.
Answer: Paint their toenails, or get a pedicure.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Lulu @ Suncoast Country 92.1 CTQ [WCTQ] Sarasota FL; Neil Long @ 107.8 Radio Jackie, Kingston-upon-Thames UK; Juan DePetro @ Radio Isla [WDEP] Ponce, Puerto Rico; Clint Warren @ Real Country 96.3 [WLMA] Alexander City AL; Jamie Balogun @ 102.9 CHTM Thompson MB; Giselle Andres @ Easy 93.1 [WFEZ] Miami FL; Stevie De La Rose @ Real Country 104.9 Hinton AB; and Greg Rhodes @ T-100 [WCLT] Columbus OH.

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