Monday, January 24, 2011        Edition: #4431
Sheet Happens!

• “The King’s Speech” has picked up momentum in the race toward Oscar glory after winning the top dramatic movie prize at the 22nd annual “PGA Awards” (Producers Guild of America) on Saturday. Other winners included “Toy Story 3” as ‘Best Animated Picture’;  “Modern Family” for ‘Best TV Comedy Series’; and “Mad Men” for ‘Best TV Drama’. (Can “The King’s Speech” go on to upset “The Social Network” at the Academy Awards?)
• For the past 5 years, 36-year-old actor Leonardo DiCaprio and his best friend, 34-year-old actor Lukas Haas, have gone on a trip to Hawaii every January. They always invite some glam friends along to party with. This year’s invitees include Leo’s off-and-on girlfriend Bar Rafaeli, model Naomi Campbell, actor Tobey Maguire, actress Cameron Diaz & her boyfriend Alex ‘A-Rod’ Rodriguez among others. Word has it they all love watersports and play a lot of beach volleyball … when their hangovers wear off. (Lifestyles of the rich and aimless.)
• According to his old tour manager, the reason jazz legend Louis Armstrong used to dab his face so frequently with a white handkerchief while playing wasn’t because he was hot and sweaty under the stage lights. It’s claimed the hankie was dusted in cocaine and every time ‘Satchmo’ wiped his face he’d actually be snorting gak. (Trying to blow a horn after ingesting some blow seems unlikely if not impossible.)
• Reports suggest Steve Carell’s character ‘Michael Scott’ will exit “The Office” (NBC) several episodes before the current season ends, likely to ensure the final episode of the season doesn’t feel like a ‘series finalé’. Carell announced his exodus months ago, simply saying he felt it was time to move on. Castmate John Krasinski (‘Jim Halpert’) says they don’t have any idea how ‘Michael’ is going to be leaving as producers are being tight-lipped. No announcement of a replacement has yet been made. (Please, let it die while it was still good!)
– QMI Agency
• Wrigley’s Gum, GM, and H&R Block are the latest advertisers to pull out of “Skins”, the highly controversial new MTV series, joining Taco Bell which led the retreat. The show’s debut last Monday drew 3.3 million viewers, a blockbuster rating for a cable show. But since then, groups like the Parents Television Council have been lambasting it for sexy content in a show said to be ‘marketed directly to children’. All of this hoopla will likely do nothing but boost tonight’s ratings. (It’s marketed toward children? At 10 pm? After “Jersey Shore”? Parents, do your job!)

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Iron & Wine (“Walking Far From Home”).
• Golden Raspberry Awards – Today final nominations are announced for the 31st annual salute (February 26th) to the year’s worst from Hollywood. “Little Fockers”, “Sex & The City 2”, and “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” are on the shortlist. There’s also a new category this year for ‘Worst Eye-Gouging Misuse of 3-D’.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Script (“Science & Faith”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Menomena (“Mines”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – The Walkmen (“Lisbon”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Grace Potter & the Nocturnals (“Grace Potter & the Nocturnals”).

• Beyoncé – CNN reports that Clint Eastwood is in negotiations with Warner Bros to direct a new version of “A Star Is Born” with Beyoncé as the star. It would be the 4th movie made from the story.
• Joe Nichols – He was the halftime entertainment at Sunday’s “AFC Championship Game” at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh PA.
• John Lennon – “Spinner” reports that over 150 previously unseen letters from Lennon to record companies, newspapers, and fans will be published in a book in October 2012, to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the release of The Beatles’ “Love Me Do”.
• Katy Perry – She says she’s working hard to get ready for her upcoming “California Dreams Tour” (opening February 20th in Lisbon, Portugal), doing a lot of gym training to build stamina as it’s designed to be a very energetic show.
• Kenny Chesney – “Somewhere With You” tops “Billboard” magazine’s ‘Country Songs’ chart this week, dethroning Tim McGraw’s “Felt Good on My Lips”, which held down #1 for 3 weeks.
• Nicki Minaj – She was kicked out of London’s The Dorchester on Friday after the upscale hotel became deluged with paparazzi and young fans. Some PR person obviously did their job.
• Oasis – Former lead singer Liam Gallagher tells “Q” magazine he suffers from psoriasis and it gets so bad that a fan once mistook flakes of skin on his scalp for cocaine … and snorted them.
• Ricky Martin – Already the father to twin sons Matteo & Valentino via a surrogate mother, the 39-year-old singer says he’d now like to expand his family further to include a daughter.

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … People who regularly eat candy live longer than those who don’t. A multi-decade Harvard University study shows that modest candy consumption – 1-to-3 times a month – is associated with the greatest benefit but all candy-eaters experience some. (Good news: You live long. Bad news: No teeth.)
– “Psychology Today”
• Scientists say … People are drawn together by their vices but driven apart by their virtues, say University of California at San Diego researchers. It seems this genetic makeup plays a big part in who we choose as friends. (And explains why drinking buddies rarely go to church together.)
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Scientists say … Employees who must avoid appearing overly emotional – such as journalists, healthcare professionals, social workers, and law officers – expend so much energy maintaining that stoic demeanor they can eventually suffer burnout. (Another reason to laugh on-the-job.)
– Psych Central News
• Scientists say … Proficient board game players use a part of the brain that others fail to utilize. Scientists at Japan’s Riken Brain Science Institute think this brain training enables game players to make very quick, intuitive decisions. (Who knew that ‘Candy Land’ was so good for you?)
– “Science”

Some of the world’s top residential detox facilities …
• Betty Ford Center (Rancho Mirage CA): One of the most famous rehabs was started in 1982. The renowned desert hideaway has been used by Lindsay Lohan, Stevie Nicks, and Keith Urban. Treatment will set you back circa $23,000 per month.
• Crossroads Center (Antigua): Founded by Eric Clapton beside the beautiful turquoise water of Willoughby Bay, the intimate 36-bed facility is rumored to have hosted Britney Spears (just before she shaved her head) and Whitney Houston. Costs about $20,000 a month.
• The Meadows (Wickenburg AZ): A former dude ranch that’s been frequented by Kate Moss, Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones, and Whitney Houston. Around $39,000 per month.
• Priory Hospital (Roehampton UK): London’s oldest psychiatric hospital is a stately white manor with a manicured lawn that’s hosted the likes of Pete Doherty (Babyshambles) and Justin Hawkins (The Darkness) at around $22,000 per month.
• Promises Malibu (Malibu CA): Luxury rooms with ocean views. The choice of Diana Ross, Robert Downey Jr, and Charlie Sheen. Cost: $49,000 per month.
• Wonderland Center (West Hollywood CA): 3 acres of rustic trails and lush foliage in the heart of LA. Lindsay Lohan and Mike Tyson have checked in at $35,000-and-up per month.
– “Blender Magazine”

It’s estimated that some 29 million NFL fans now participate in maintaining fantasy football teams. That may be the big reason the NFL seems headed to a record year for ratings, since fantasy involvement means caring about players beyond those on your favorite team. 26 games this season have drawn more than 20 million viewers, a number achieved by only 9 non-football shows. 15 of those games have soared above 25 million viewers, compared to just 9 games last season. One sports analyst says it’s clear the NFL realizes fantasy football is growing the popularity of their sport. (If you don’t have money on them, a lot of games are real yawners.)

2011 is the 400th anniversary of the King James Version of The Bible. Experts say no other book has influenced English language as much. There are said to be 257 phrases from it that are still commonly used in contemporary English idiom. Among them …
• Give up the ghost.
• Salt of the Earth.
• Put words in the mouth.
• A law unto himself.
• Turn the world upside down.
• The powers that be.
• Filthy lucre.
• A fly in the ointment.
• The blind leading the blind.
(Odds are you’re quoting the King James Bible all the time … even if you’ve never read it!)
– “BBC News Magazine”

Scientists studying the mating habits of animals have found that even flies will trade sex for gifts, and the better the gift, the longer the ‘reward’. Researchers found that large gifts of food given by male flies to potential partners led to the longest amorous periods. It was also found that male flies could get rewards by presenting mates with worthless gifts disguised as real, but they would be quickly rebuffed as soon as the scam was uncovered. (Guys, consider this a Public Service Announcement.)
– “Discovery News”

• An average horse lies down 43.5  minutes per day. A horse typically sleeps 2-and-a-half to 3 hours a day. The time lying down allows the horse to achieve REM sleep; the rest of the time they sleep standing up.
• In Britain, at least 1-in-5 horses used for leisure is overweight or obese, according to a study by Nottingham University’s School of Veterinary Medicine & Science. Obesity in horses is likely to be just as common as among people.
– “The Independent”


1963 [48] Keech Rainwater, Plano TX, country musician (Lonestar-“Mr Mom”, “Tell Her”)

1974 [37] Ed Helms, Atlanta GA, TV actor (‘Andy Bernard’ on “The Office” since 2006)/movie actor (“The Hangover”, “Semi-Pro”)  COMING UP: “The Hangover: Part II”, opening May 26th.

1986 [25] Mischa Barton, London UK, movie actress (“St Trinian’s”, “The Sixth Sense”)/TV actress (“The Beautiful Life” 2009, “The OC” 2003-06)

• “Beer Can Appreciation Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1st canned beer, marketed by Kruegar Brewing of Richmond VA on this day 76 years ago in 1935. Gee, what should we do to celebrate … admire the bottom of a can from the inside?

• “Global Belly Laugh Day”, a day to experience the health & happiness benefits of taking a moment to laugh out loud. To that end, we’re all encouraged to throw our arms in the air and laugh heartily at precisely 1:24 pm local time.

• “Direct Deposit Week”, which either has to do with having your pay directly deposited into your bank account … or maybe making babies the ‘old fashioned way’?

• “Peanut Butter Day”, unless someone in the house is at risk of anaphylactic shock from an allergy. Originally called ‘nutmeal’, peanut butter has only been around for about 120 years but it’s a staple in 85% of homes and we eat about 3 lbs per person per year. If you have arachibutyrophobia, you’re afraid of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth!

1908 [103] 1st ‘Boy Scout’ troop organized by Sir Robert Baden-Powell in London UK, originally for youths to play ‘war-games’

1922 [89] 1st ‘ice cream bar’, the ‘Eskimo Pie’, created by Christian Nelson of Onawa IA (bet he sold a lot of them in Iowa in January)

1989 [22] ‘World’s Oldest Sheep’ dies in England, a week before her 29th birthday (she’d given birth to her 40th lamb only months before)

1999 [12] Golfer David Duval matches best round in PGA history – a 59 – to win the “Bob Hope Desert Classic” (the other ‘59ers’ in a competitive round are Chip Beck & Al Geiberger)

[Tues] Academy Awards nominations announced
[Tues] Macintosh Computer Day
[Tues] Better Business Communication Day
[Tues] A Room of One’s Own Day
[Tues] Speak Up & Succeed Day
[Wed] Peanut Brittle Day

Clean Out Your Inbox Week / Handwriting Analysis Week / Medical Group Practice Week / No Name-Calling Week / Nuclear Science Week / Nurse Anesthetists Week / Take Back Your Time Week / World Leprosy Week


A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Today is “Compliment Day”, when we are encouraged to give compliments to 5 people. Might we suggest …
• “It must take a lot of self-confidence to wear something that unusual.”
• “It’s nice to see success hasn’t gone to your head … just your mouth.”
• “I sure envy you for not feeling you need to run out and buy a new car every 10 or 15 years.”
• “You look like a million … every year of it.”
• “Glad to see you’re a person who understands there’s more to life than keeping the house clean.”
• “You’re not as bad as people say … you’re much, much worse.”
• “It’s good you’re so optimistic about being successful. False hope is better than no hope at all.”
• “Well, you’re not as big as a barn … yet.”
• “You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk!”

I made a chicken salad the other day. She still hasn’t thanked me.

Which so-called ‘service personnel’ do the poorest job of offering service?” (In a nationwide poll, ‘supermarket check-out clerks’ top the list, followed by ‘airline check-in people’ and ‘flight attendants’. But how about civil ‘servants’, especially at the license bureau?)

Today’s Question: Studies show the longer it takes you to do THIS each day, the more health problems you are likely to have.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Commute. (

If work were good for you, the rich would leave none for the poor.

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