Tuesday, January 24, 2012        Edition: #4675

Sheet Happens!

Model Heidi Klum and singer Seal have now confirmed in a statement that they are separating (so the rumors are true!) . . . Actor Sean Hayes (“Will & Grace” 1998-2006) is joining the cast of “Parks & Recreation” (NBC) to play ‘the Matt Lauer of Pawnee’ (if they waited a couple months, they could have had Matt Lauer) . . . Simon Cowell is adding another gimmick to his “Britain’s Got Talent” show (ITV) by attempting to have the next winner become the 1st person to perform in space via tycoon Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic spacecraft (could they take Simon along – and leave him?) . . . It’s been revealed that Emily Maynard, the sweet single mom who Brad Womack proposed to his 2nd time around on “The Bachelor”, will be the next “Bachelorette” (ABC) in the show’s upcoming 8th season (one successful appearance on any of these singles shows and you’ve got an entire career!) . . . “Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 1” has now passed the $700-million mark at the box office (the reason further movies in the franchise are being floated) . . . According to “Us Weekly”, recent meltdown victim Heather Locklear went to rehab after her engagement to Jack Wagner ended last November (sadly, it didn’t seem to take) . . . First the Michelle Williams flick, and now it’s been announced Blake Lively will be playing the legendary Marilyn Monroe in an upcoming dream sequence on “Gossip Girl” (Marilyn is having her moment of late) . . . And actor Brad Pitt has finally made a public appearance without assistance of a cane (we’re not saying he no longer needs to play up his injury for sympathy votes now that the Oscar nomination deadline’s passed; naw we’d never say that).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Seal (“Soul 2”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Mindless Behavior (“#1 Girl”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Manchester Orchestra (“Simple Math”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Wild Flag (“Wild Flag”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Barr Bros (Barr Brothers). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Guest co-host Mary J Blige (“My Life II: The Journey Continues, Act 1”).
• “State Of the Union” (most US networks) – President Barack Obama addresses Congress and the nation, thereby pre-empting all your favorite shows.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Eli Young Band (“Life at Best”). Rerun.


• Bob Dylan – Today a massive tribute album of 75 of his songs, newly-recorded by over 80 artists, is being released to salute Amnesty International’s golden anniversary. Dubbed “Chimes of Freedom: The Songs of Bob Dylan Honoring 50 Years of Amnesty International”, the 4-disc collection is also available as a digital download.
• The Doors – Today’s 40th anniversary reissue of their album “LA Woman” includes 8 never-before-heard versions of songs plus “She Smells So Nice”, the first completely new and unreleased song from the band in 40 years.
• Judas Priest – The 17-disc box-set called “The Complete Albums Collection” is out today, containing every studio and live album by the band’s classic line-up from 1974 onward. Also included is a 40-page booklet.
• Katy Perry – She’s just ‘unfollowed’ estranged husband Russell Brand on Twitter. (That’s the 2012 equivalent of throwing a drink in your ex’s face.)
• Kellie Pickler – Today the former “American Idol” finalist’s 3rd country album, “100 Proof”, is out.
• Tim McGraw – After his resolution of a prolonged legal battle with Curb Records, the company is finally releasing his final album on the label today. “Emotional Traffic” has already spawned the country hit “Better Than I Used to Be”.
• “2012 Grammy Nominees” – The annual compilation of hits by nominees for the Grammy Awards (February 12th) is out today. It includes tracks by Adele, The Band Perry, Bruno Mars, Coldplay, Foo Fighters, Foster the People, Lady Antebellum, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and more.
• Wilco – Today they release a live EP via iTunes which was recorded in the band’s Chicago loft studio. The 8-song set includes a collaboration with Nick Lowe on his hit “Cruel To Be Kind”.


• “50/50” ( R-Rated Comedy ): A comedic account of a 27-year-old guy’s cancer diagnosis, and his subsequent struggle to beat the disease. Stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick. Shot in Vancouver.
• “From the Sky Down” ( G-Rated Music Documentary ): Davis Guggenheim’s doc about the making of U2’s 1991 album “Achtung Baby” includes a Q&A with Bono and The Edge, plus bonus footage of the re-recording of several tracks to mark the album’s 20th anniversary.
• “Paranormal Activity 3” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): This 3rd instalment goes back to 1988 to detail how young sisters ‘Katie & Kristi’ befriend an invisible entity who resides in their home. The most successful film in a franchise that’s now grossed close to $600 million worldwide.
• “Real Steel” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Action ): Set in the near future, Hugh Jackman stars as a robot-boxing promoter who thinks he’s found a real champion in a discarded ‘bot. Sort of a “Rocky” remake, only with robots. Co-stars Evangeline Lilly.
• “The Whistleblower” ( R-Rated Drama ): Rachel Weisz plays a police officer who takes a job as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia, where she finds rebuilding efforts are being dashed by corruption and diplomatic double-talk. Co-stars Vanessa Redgrave, David Strathairn.
• Also released today: “Ancient Aliens: Season 3” (TV Documentary); “Buck Rogers In the 25th Century: Season 1” (TV Sci-Fi); “Criterion Collection: Godzilla” (1954); “Memphis: The Original Broadway Production” (Musical); “Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns: Season 4” (TV Comedy); and “Wings” (1927).

For something we spend half our life doing, a lot of us are pretty awful at sleeping. A few tips for falling asleep faster, getting quality rest, and waking up easier in the morning …
✓ Invest in a comfortable bed and bedding.
✓ Avoid eating spicy or junk foods at night, and lay off the booze.
✓ Exercise in the morning or afternoon – not at night – can help deepen your sleep.
✓ Cool off. Lowering body temperature makes a huge difference in how easy it is to fall asleep.
✓ Get the right amount of sleep. Everyone’s different. Find out what you need … and get it.
✓ Learn to power nap, then calculate the best time to nap and crank one out regularly.
✓ Develop a bedtime routine. It’ll help you wind yourself down to get the best sleep possible.
– Condensed from LifeHacker.com


A new study suggests aspiring pop stars may want to take a 2nd look at music as a career. According to a University of Colorado analysis of more than 50 years of “Billboard” magazine music charts, over a third of pop musicians only strike it big once. And even that’s generous, when compared to average success on album charts. Lead researcher Storm Gloor at UCD’s College of Arts & Media says one of the study’s conclusions is, music artists need a fallback. (Like Las Vegas, Branson, Missouri … or an appearance on PBS ‘Pledge Week’.)
– “Denver Post”


A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 90% of us say we get a little scared when we receive the text, “Can I ask you a question?”
• 70% of college students admit they have secretly used a room-mate’s toothbrush.
• 52% of women don’t like getting their picture taken because of their smile.
• 19% of married couples go as long as a week at-a-time without kissing.
• 32% of adults admit they can’t cook.
• 11% of working women have married a boss.


Viagra can help perk up your … flowers. British TV gardener David Domoney claims just 1 milligram of the little blue pill (or one of its competitors) can give wilting cut flowers another week of life. He says just a tiny amount is needed ‘to stiffen things up nicely’. A little chip off a 50-mg tablet should be added to the vase after it’s dissolved in water. Why does it work? Viagra contains nitric oxide, which slows down the dying process in plants. (As well as in marriages.)
– “Daily Telegraph”


A new study by psychologists at Columbia University, University of Wisconsin, and Harvard University asserts that Internet search is destroying our ‘internal memory’. How so? When people expect to have future access to information, they have lower rates of recall of the info itself and enhanced recall instead for where to access it. In other words, instead of remembering a list, for instance, we now remember where we can find it, ie: Google, Wikipedia, etc. This use of ‘external memory’ means we’re making increasingly less use of the ‘RAM’ in our own brains. (A related study says … just a sec, I gotta look it up.)
– BusinessInsider.com


Sharon Good’s book “Managing With a Heart: 100+ Ways to Make Your Employees Feel Appreciated” offers employers helpful hints on improving company morale. Things like learning employee names, saying ‘good morning’ each day, and showing an interest in workers’ lives.  Some interesting suggestions, but here are a few …
✓ Casual dress allowed on any day that doesn’t begin with ‘S’.
✓ Tequila vending machine.
✓ On-the-job conjugal visits.
✓ Hot tub party every Friday afternoon.
✓ Hand out a raise, you tightwad!
– BS original

• Sudoku puzzles with fewer than 17 numbers filled in will have more than 1 possible solution.
– “New Scientist”
• State workers in South Carolina answer the phone with “It’s a great day in South Carolina!”
– “New York Times”
• The government of Iraq considers the buttocks from a toppled statue of Saddam Hussein part of its ‘national antiquity’.
– “Hereford Times”


1963 [49] Keech Rainwater, Plano TX, country musician (Lonestar-“Mr Mom”, “Tell Her”)

1974 [38] Ed Helms, Atlanta GA, TV actor (‘Andy Bernard’ on “The Office” since 2006)/movie actor (“The Hangover” movies, “Semi-Pro”)

1986 [26] Mischa Barton, London UK, movie actress (“St Trinian’s”, “The Sixth Sense”)/TV actress (“The Beautiful Life” 2009, “The OC” 2003-06)


• “Beer Can Appreciation Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1st canned beer, marketed by Kruegar Brewing of Richmond, Virginia on this day 77 years ago in 1935. (Gee, what should we do to celebrate, admire the bottom of a can … from the inside?)

• “Compliment Day”, when we’re encouraged to say something nice to at least 5 people. (Who will in turn ask us, “What is you want?”)
NET: http://aol.it/gnEQ35

• “Global Belly Laugh Day”, a day to experience the health & happiness benefits of taking a moment to laugh out loud. To that end, we’re all encouraged to throw our arms in the air and laugh heartily at precisely 1:24 pm local time.
NET: http://www.bellylaughday.com

• “Peanut Butter Day”, unless someone in the house is at risk of anaphylactic shock from an allergy. Originally called ‘nutmeal’, peanut butter has only been around for about 120 years but it’s a staple in 85% of homes and we eat about 3 lbs per person per year. If you have arachibutyrophobia, you’re afraid of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth!
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-peanut-butter-day

• “Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day”, a tongue-in-cheek salute to the beginning of the 1848 gold rush in California. (“Well, consarn it! A whole ‘nuther year’s done skedaddled right past an’ we’re celerbating this again!”)


2006 [06] Walt Disney Co announces the $7.4-billion purchase of Pixar Studios (making Steve Jobs an extremely wealthy guy)


1982 [30] Diana Ross sings the anthem prior to Superbowl 16 in Pontiac, Michigan (then San Francisco 49ers win their 1st Super Bowl over Cincinnati Bengals 26-21)


1922 [90] 1st ‘ice cream bar’, Eskimo Pie, is created by Christian Nelson of Onawa IA (bet he sold a lot of them in Iowa in January)


1989 [23] ‘World’s Oldest Sheep’ dies in England, a week before her 29th birthday (she’d given birth to her 40th lamb only months before)

1999 [13] Golfer David Duval matches best round in PGA history – a 59 – to win the “Bob Hope Desert Classic” (the other ‘59ers’ in a competitive round are Chip Beck and Al Geiberger)


[Wed] Robbie Burns Day
[Wed] “Touch” special preview (FOX)
[Wed] World Leprosy Day
[Thurs] Oscar nominations announced
[Thurs] Peanut Brittle Day
This Week Is … No Name-Calling Week
This Month Is … Polka Music Month


• Neighborhood kids trade and collect his teeth.
• Constantly uses the phrase ‘okie-dokie’.
• Turns you in to mall cops for parking in a disabled spot.
• Has been turned down for a date by both J-Lo and Demi Moore.
• When he grows up, he wants to be ‘just like [you]’.
• Tends to sit in the backyard and eat crickets.


A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Why the long face?”

Are the following statements about bathrooms true or total BS?
• The average person spends 3 whole weeks of their life sitting on the john. [BS, more like 3 years!]
• The film “Psycho” (1960) was the first movie to show a toilet flushing and the scene caused a flurry of complaints about indecency. [TRUE]
• King George II of Great Britain died falling off a toilet in 1760. [TRUE, just like Elvis a little later.]
• Britain’s Thomas Crapper invented the toilet. [BS, but he did perfect the siphon flush system we use today.]
• The first time there were separate male and female bathrooms were in Ancient Greece. [BS, they were more likely introduced at a posh party in Paris in 1739.]
– “Aftermath”

☎ Should wearing pajamas in public be banned?


Question: It may seem surprising but almost two-thirds of us do THIS when nobody’s looking.
Answer: Walk around the house naked.


Minds are like parachutes … they only work when they’re open.

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