Friday, January 24, 2014        Edition: #5145

Sheet Happens!

★ 76-year-old Bill Cosby may return to TV in a new half-hour family sitcom. No pilot has been made yet, but a development deal with NBC-TV has. Cosby ruled the TV roost while starring in 197 episodes of “The Cosby Show” 1984-92. The new comedy would be built around the patriarch of a multi-generational family. (This is more likely a courtesy than a commitment from NBC.)
★ Angela Lansbury (88) says she’s ‘relieved’ a “Murder, She Wrote” remake has been scrapped. Lansbury played mystery writer & amateur detective ‘Jessica Fletcher’ in the hugely successful original series 1984-96. A pilot for a re-boot was to star Octavia Spencer, who won an Oscar for “The Help”. While that plan’s been deep-sixed, it’s thought NBC-TV may still revisit the series in the future with a different slant. (Everything old is … old again.)
– Associated Press
★ Increasingly wacky actor Shia LaBeouf is now claiming his bizarre behavior of late has all been one giant piece of … performance art. He says #stopcreating, the hashtag he used to mark his many Twitter apologies, is a project created with help from screenwriter Luke Turner, who’s now the Museum of Modern Art’s 1st poet laureate. The actor revealed his ‘master plan’ this week in Twitter posts which have since been deleted. (LaBeouf & Bieber should buddy up.)
★ And got a booty like J-Lo? As Jennifer Lopez begins filming her latest flick “Lila & Eve” this week in Atlanta GA, a casting call has been issued for a stand-in to double for the actress. But don’t expect to earn anywhere near the big bucks that Lopez gets. The pay for a “Hispanic, Caucasian or Multi-Ethnic female, 5’-4 to 5’-6, with previous acting or stand-in experience”? 10 bucks-an-hour … with overtime after 8 hours. (What an audition to your résumé: ‘Butt Double’.)

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Tonight DJ Spinderella (ex-Salt-n-Pepa).
• “The Bachelor” (ABC) – Sunday Sean Lowe & Catherine Giudici declare their love for each other in front of family & friends in “Sean & Catherine’s Wedding”.
• Directors Guild of America Awards (Los Angeles) – Saturday the 66th annual DGAs are handed out in the run-up to the Oscars, this year including honors for online programs.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Hunter Hayes (“Hunter Hayes Live”).
• “Grammy Awards” (CBS) – Sunday  LL Cool J returns as host of the 56th edition of ‘Music’s Biggest Night’, live from LA’s Staples Center. A few highlights …
– Jay Z leads nominations with 9, followed by 7 apiece for Justin Timberlake, Kendrick Lamar, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and Pharrell Williams.
– Performers include Beyoncé, Daft Punk, Gary Clark Jr, Hunter Hayes, Imagine Dragons, John Legend, Kacey Musgraves, Katy Perry, Keith Urban, Lorde, Metallica, Paul McCartney, P!nk, Ringo Starr, Robin Thicke, Sara Bareilles, and Taylor Swift.
– The Beatles are honored with a ‘ Recording Academy Lifetime Achievement Award’ (a special invitation-only ceremony is being held Saturday night).
– An ensemble country music salute features Blake Shelton with Kris Kristofferson, Merle Haggard, and Willie Nelson.
– The rockin’ finalé features a collaboration between Dave Grohl, Lindsey Buckingham, Nine Inch Nails, and Queens Of the Stone Age.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Jonny Lang (“Live At the Ryman”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight White Denim (“D”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Schoolboy Q (“Habits & Contradictions”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Devon Avenue (“Devon Avenue”).
• MusiCares Person Of the Year (Los Angeles) – Tonight veteran singer-songwriter Carole King is the 2014 honoree at the traditional Grammy Awards week charity gala. She’s saluted by Bette Midler, Dixie Chicks, James Taylor, Jason Mraz, Lady Gaga and others.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Jonah Hill (“The Wolf of Wall Street”); musical guest Bastille (“All This Bad Blood”).
• ShipRocked 2014 – Sunday the 2014 edition of the 5-day rock cruise aboard the ‘Norwegian Pearl’ departs Miami FL destined for a private island in the Bahamas. The onboard line-up includes Five Finger Death Punch, Papa Roach, Sevendust, Three Days Grace and more.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Darius Rucker (“True Believers”).

• Bruce Springsteen – His new album, “High Hopes”, marks his 11th #1 on the “Billboard” album sales chart.
• Courtney Love – This week she reportedly sobbed in court listening to allegations that Kurt Cobain’s legacy has been mismanaged. She’s the defendant in a libel case from her former lawyer Rhonda Holmes, who alleges Courtney defamed her on Twitter and in an interview. The trial could make legal history … no one has ever been found guilty of sending libelous tweets.
• Justin Bieber – Miami Beach FL police have confirmed the 19-year-old has been arrested for alleged DUI and drag racing in a rented Lamborghini. This comes after the Biebs reportedly spent $75,000 at a Miami strip club on Monday night.
• Ke$ha – She’s gonna have to find a new art project in rehab, one that doesn’t involve asking fans to send in their teeth. Her rehab center has banned any excess enamel donations, saying it cannot accept ‘human remains’.
• My Morning Jacket – Sunday they kick off their very own 4-night festival, dubbed “One Big Holiday”, at the Hard Rock Hotel at the Riviera Maya in Mexico. The event features 3 concerts, a dance party, and a selection of daytime activities.

• “I, Frankenstein” ( PG-13 Action Fantasy ): Aaron Eckhart plays the creepy creation of ‘Dr Frankenstein’, who has survived into modern times due to a genetic anomaly. The monster finds himself caught up in a centuries-old war between 2 immortal clans. The source material is a graphic novel by Kevin Grevioux. Co-stars Bill Nighy, Miranda Otto, Virginie Le Brun.
• Opening in limited release: “Gimme Shelter” (Drama); “Gloria” (Dramedy); “Knights of Badassdom” (Horror Comedy); “Run & Jump” (Drama); “Stranger By the Lake” (Drama); and “Visitors” (Documentary).

A new study by Australia’s University of Western Sydney officially confirms it … you can’t walk straight while texting. In experiments, study subjects couldn’t walk normally while texting; they swerved and moved stiffly. As pedestrians busily tap and flick, they swerve more, walk more slowly and move their heads, arms and torsos in a stiff, graceless fashion that makes them more prone to falling when confronted with obstacles. Though researchers are not entirely clear why, they speculate it may either be because the inner ear is affected or the brain may be overtaxed from multi-tasking. (Again we beg … please, just put down the phone.)

Would you wear the new Google Glass … during sex? Would you want to see what your partner sees during the act? Now you can, thanks to a new app called ‘Glance’. This is how it works: When both people are equipped with the augmented reality specs (and most likely, nothing else), they can see what their partner sees during the dirty deed, awkward angles and all. Alternatively, you can connect the Glass with your iPhone and watch yourself from a different angle in the bedroom. The Glance app even films a video, so you can check out your performance afterward. (Let the lawsuits begin!)
– AP

Highlights of a new “Esquire” magazine online poll about what’s now ‘normal’ for men …
• About half of men polled actually ‘enjoy’ shopping for clothes.
• Many men now moisturize on a daily basis.
• Many men don’t like going to strip clubs … ever.
• Having sex more than twice a week over the age of 45 is not normal.
• It’s typical for males under 45 to have sexted someone.
• It is now normal for men to say “I love you” frequently.
• It’s not unusual for the typical guy to have cried sometime in the past month.
• There’s nothing unusual about men using cologne; it is more uncommon for males to get a spray tan or color their hair.
• Men over 60 are twice as likely to think of themselves overall as ‘normal’ as men under 30.

Turn down the heat to burn more calories, a new study suggests. Dutch researchers have found that the body uses more energy when exposed to ‘mild cold’ (temperatures of 64-66 F or 17-19 C), which means you burn more calories. Spending time in cooler temperatures seems to boost weight-loss because your body has to work harder to keep warm. So this so-called ‘temperature training’ – letting your body adjust to cooler temperatures – could help trim your waistline. (Gives you whole new appreciation for your chilly office, no?)

Jelly bean-maker Jelly Belly has just introduced a new flavor … beer. The California -based candy company behind ‘Buttered Popcorn’ and ‘Cream Soda‘ jelly beans says its new ‘Draft Beer’ beans are inspired by a Hefeweizen ale with a clean, crisp and wheaty taste. Beer connoisseurs, they claim, will find the flavor profile of the new beans to be ‘clean with notes of wheat and a touch of sweetness’. The aroma is said to be ‘mildly bread-y’. (Don’t get too excited … they’re alcohol-free.)

Most lipstick is partially made of fish scales.


1941 [73] Neil Diamond, NYC, oldies singer (“Cracklin’ Rosie”, “Song Sung Blue”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2011)

1963 [51] Keech Rainwater, Plano TX, country musician (Lonestar-“Mr Mom”, “Tell Her”)

1974 [40] Ed Helms, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“The Hangover” movies, “Semi-Pro”)/TV actor (“The Office” 2006-13)

1986 [28] Mischa Barton, London UK, movie actress (“St Trinian’s”, “The Sixth Sense”)/TV actress (“The Beautiful Life” 2009, “The OC” 2003-06)

Pop singer Alicia Keys (“Girl On Fire”) is 33; TV actor Michael Trevino (“Vampire Diaries”) is 29.

Movie actor David Strathairn (“The Bourne Legacy”) is 64; Classic rock guitarist Eddie Van Halen (Van Halen) is 59; TV personality Ellen DeGeneres (“Ellen) is 56; Pop-rock musician Charles Gillingham (Counting Crows) is 54; NHL hockey legend Wayne Gretzky is 53.

• “Beer Can Appreciation Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1st canned beer, marketed by Kruegar Brewing of Richmond, Virginia on this day 79 years ago in 1935. (Gee, what should we do to celebrate?)
• “Compliment Day”, when we’re encouraged to say something nice to at least 5 people. (Who will in turn ask us, “OK, what is it that you want?”)
• “Global Belly Laugh Day”, a day to experience the health & happiness benefits of taking a moment to laugh out loud. To that end, we’re all encouraged to throw our arms in the air and laugh heartily at precisely 1:24 pm local time.
• “Peanut Butter Day”, unless someone in the house is at risk of anaphylactic shock from an allergy. Originally called ‘nutmeal’, peanut butter has only been around for about 120 years but it’s a staple in 85% of homes and we eat about 3 lbs per person per year.
• “Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day”, a tongue-in-cheek salute to the beginning of the 1848 gold rush in California. (“Well, consarn it! A whole ‘nuther year’s done skedaddled right past an’ we’re celerbating this agin!”)

• “Irish Coffee Day”, because it might just be the perfect cocktail – a combination of caffeine, spirits, sugar, and cream. It’s guaranteed to put a warm glow on your Winter day!
• “Robbie Burns Day” (aka “Burns Night”), party time for Scots everywhere! It honors Scotland’s national poet who was born January 25, 1759 and whose most famous composition was “Auld Lang Syne”. A traditional ‘Burns Supper’ includes cock-a-leekie soup (fowl, leeks, and herbs), haggis (minced sheep’s heart, lungs, and liver mixed with oatmeal), neeps and tatties (mashed turnip and potatoes). The meal is then washed down with Scotch whisky toasts.
• “Seed Swap Day”, observed annually on the last Saturday in January to encourage gardeners to share resources with other gardeners and thereby reduce the need to buy expensive seeds from commercial suppliers. (After last year’s failures, we’re about ready to throw in the trowel.)

• “Peanut Brittle Day”, celebrating the yummy treat that sticks to your fillings. A little sugar, a little corn syrup, a little more sugar, some peanuts, a little butter, a little more sugar …
• “World Leprosy Day”, an annual observance on the last Sunday of January to increase public awareness about leprosy and to further leprosy eradication. (It’s not just biblical!)

2006 [08] Walt Disney Co announces the $7.4-billion purchase of Pixar Studios (making Steve Jobs one extremely wealthy guy)

1999 [15] Golfer David Duval matches best round in PGA history – a 59 – to win the “Bob Hope Desert Classic” (the other ‘59ers’ in a competitive round are Chip Beck and Al Geiberger)

[Mon] Australia Day holiday
[Mon] Billy Joel Madison Square Garden residency begins (NYC)
[Mon] Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
[Mon] Thomas Crapper Day
[Tues] Data Privacy Day
[Tues] Kazoo Day
This Week Is … Handwriting Analysis Week
This Month Is … Polka Music Month


Just in time for “National Peanut Butter Day”, a nutty new …
✓ “Big and Chunky” …
✓ “Peanuts” … The Police.
✓ “Peanuts” … Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons.
✓ “Peanut Butter” … The Marathons.
✓ “Peanut Butter & Jelly” … Christina Milian.
✓ “Peanut Butter Conspiracy” … Jimmy Buffett.
✓ “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” … Chip-Man & The Buckwheat Boyz.
✓ “Smooth” … Santana w/Rob Thomas.
✓ “Smooth Criminal” … Michael Jackson.
✓ “Smooth Operator” … Sade.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

☎ At what age should a kid get a tablet? (In a recent poll, the most people [29%] say 11-to-14.)

Question: THIS happens to the average office worker 4 times-a-year.
Answer: Paper cut.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

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