January 25, 2011

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011        Edition: #4432
You Really Know Your Sheet!

We’re now less than 2 weeks away from the highly-hyped, post-Super Bowl episode of “Glee” (FOX) and it’s been revealed the show includes a mashup of “Thriller/Heads Will Roll”, plus cast versions of Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now”, Destiny’s Child’s “Bills Bills Bills”, and The Zombies’ classic “She’s Not There” (will this keep you up late on a Sunday?) . . . Former “My Name Is Earl” actress Jamie Pressly is having a bad month – she’s not only facing a DUI charge but may also owe $600,000-plus in back-taxes (she’s going downhill faster than an Olympic skier) . . . Actor-turned-activist George Clooney contracted malaria during a recent trip to Sudan as part of a diplomatic mission but his rep says he’s subsequently made a full recovery (Clooney describes the experience as ‘just good fun’) . . . Former TV star Kelsey Grammar is now demanding an ‘immediate divorce’ from his ex-wife so that he can remarry (yeah, that’ll work) . . . Reports suggest Lindsay Lohan has cut a $25,000-settlement with that Betty Ford employee to keep her from testifying about Lilo’s rehab behavior (where the heck would Lohan get 25-grand these days?) . . . 49-year-old comic actor Jim Carrey is said to be dating 24-year-old former “Next Top Model” contestant Anchal Joseph (is someone suffering mid-life crisis?) . . . Film critic & thyroid cancer survivor Roger Ebert now has a chin prosthesis (it’s untrue Jay Leno was the donor) . . . And actress Halle Berry’s ex-husband Eric Benet has confirmed he’s engaged to rocker Prince’s ex-wife, Manuela Testolini, and the wedding is set for this Summer (when you’re kicked to the curb, you can always look for a gutter-mate!).

• Academy Awards – This morning nominations for the 83rd Oscars (February 27th) are announced in Los Angeles at 5:30 am PT. Live webcast here …
NET: http://www.oscars.org/live/index.html
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Wanda Jackson (“The Party Ain’t Over”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Broken Bells (“Broken Bells”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Iron & Wine (“Kiss Each Other Clean”, released today).
• “State Of the Union” – The big 4 US networks carry President Barack Obama’s address to Congress beginning at 9 pm ET.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – White Lies (“To Lose My Life …”).

• Beyoncé – She hints in a new  Brit magazine interview that Jay-Z was her first. (No wonder he put a ring on it!)
• Creed – Their music has seemingly saved a 13-year-old Norwegian boy from a pack of wolves. According to a local news report, the lad was walking home from school while listening to “Overcome” on his cellphone when 4 wolves blocked his way. The kid removed his headphones, turned the volume to maximum, and the wolf pack quickly trotted away.
• The Decemberists – Tonight their international tour in support of the new album “The King Is Dead” begins in New York City.
• Elton John – He has confirmed he’s recorded a duet with Matthew Morrison for the “Glee” star’s upcoming solo album.
• James Blunt – Today he releases his 3rd studio album, “Some Kind Of Trouble”, featuring collaborations with Ryan Tedder (OneRepublic) and songwriter/producer Steve Robson (Carrie Underwood, Rascal Flatts).
• Joe Nichols – Today he releases “Greatest Hits”, his first collection of chart-toppers, which includes “Brokenheartsville”, “Gimmie That Girl”, and “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off”.
• Shania Twain – Her new TV show, “Why Not”, debuts this Spring on Oprah’s OWN network.
• “2011 Grammy Nominees” – The annual 19-track album compilation of the year’s nominated recordings is released today, including Arcade Fire (“Ready to Start”); BoB f/Bruno Mars (“Nothin’ On You”); Cee Lo Green (“Forget You”); Glee Cast (“Don’t Stop Believin’”); John Mayer f/Taylor Swift (“Half Of My Heart”); Lady Antebellum (“Need You Now”); Lady Gaga f/ Beyoncé (“Telephone”); Miranda Lambert (“The House That Built Me”); and Train (“Hey, Soul Sister”). The Grammys air live from Los Angeles on February 13th (CBS).

• “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller): In this final installment adapted from Stieg Larsson’s popular “Millenium Trilogy” crime novels, pierced and punked-out computer-hacking heroine ‘Lisbeth Salander’ (Noomi Rapace) fights for her life while hospitalized in intensive care and charged with 3 murders. Mostly in Swedish, with subtitles.
• “Nowhere Boy” ( R-Rated Limited Release Music Bio ): Sam Taylor-Wood’s critically acclaimed John Lennon biopic that focuses on his early years in Liverpool stars 19-year-old Aaron Johnson (whom the 43-year-old director is dating); Kristin Scott Thomas; and Thomas Sangster as Paul McCartney.
• “RED” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ):  Bruce Willis stars as a former CIA black-ops agent who reassembles his old (in every way) team in a last ditch effort to survive when his life is threatened by a high-tech assassin. Co-stars Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker. ‘RED’ stands for ‘Retired, Extremely Dangerous’.
• “Saw 3-D” ( R-Rated Horror ): In this 7th instalment of the horror franchise, a deadly battle rages over ‘Jigsaw’s brutal legacy as a group of survivors gathers to seek the support of a self-help guru, a man whose own dark secrets unleash a new wave of terror. Stars Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell, Cary Elwes.
• “Secretariat” ( PG Sports Drama ): Diane Lane (Mrs Josh Brolin) stars in this life story of Penny Chenery, whose racehorse ‘Secretariat’ became the first to win the Triple Crown in 25 years back in 1973. Co-stars Scott Glenn, James Cromwell, John Malkovich. A horse tale along the lines of 2003’s “Seabiscuit”.
• Also released today: “Glee: Season 2 Volume 1” (TV); “MI-5: Volume 8” (TV); “Ronald Reagan Centennial Collection” (Compilation); and “Tupac Uncensored & Uncut: The Lost Prison Tapes” (Documentary).

New joint research by the University of Chicago & Williams College has found that being too close to someone may actually hamper communications. The study shows that spouses consistently overestimate their ability to communicate, and do so more with their partners than with strangers. For instance, a wife who says to her husband “It’s getting hot in here” as a hint to turn the heat down may be surprised when he misinterprets it as a come-on. Researchers think you stop taking the perspective of the other person precisely because the two of you are so close. That closeness can lead us to overestimate how well we understand each other. (Seems familiarity breeds miscommunication.)
– Telegraph.co.uk

Guys, does ‘flat butt syndrome’ bum you out? Well, here’s uplifting news: Canadian company BottomsUp is marketing padded underpants to give your booty more bounce. Actually the company offers all kinds of shape-enhancing undergarments for both women & men, but it places special emphasis on the male derriere. The underwear has built-in pockets in the butt area designed to hold special pads that come in 3 gradually expanding sizes: ‘Quarterback’, ‘Halfback’, and ‘Fullback’. (Soon your significant other will be singing “Baby Got Back”.)
NET: http://www.bottomsup.ca
– AOL News

Author Dan Buettner (“Thrive: Finding Happiness the Blue Zones Way”) has researched the world’s happiest places to discover their secrets and found these simple ways for you to make your own life happier …
• Find Quiet Surroundings – Although humans are supremely adaptable creatures, loud noise promises a daily erosion of happiness.
• Avoid Long Commutes – People who commute an hour each way would need an additional 40% on top of their monthly wage to be as satisfied with their lives as people who walk to work.
• Find a Hobby – It offers life another dimension that wholly caters to your interests and talents.
• Reduce TV Screens – Have one TV only, ideally in a cabinet in an out-of-the-way room.
• Own a Pet – Numerous studies suggest that pet owners are both healthier and happier.
• Paint Your Mood – Painting a room yellow inspires energy; other colors are perfect for meditation, rest, relaxation, etc.
• Get a Purpose Partner – Find someone to whom you can communicate your life purpose and your plan for realizing it, then make a practice of talking about it with them 2 or 3 times a year.
– Condensed from “Best Health”

Winter weather causes hazardous driving conditions as well as expensive snow-removal and road repairs, but 53-year-old electrical engineer Scott Brusaw of Sagle, Idaho thinks he has a solution. He’s generated interest from the US federal government and General Electric in his idea for a solar-powered roadway made from super-strong glass instead of conventional asphalt. Solar cells inside its surface would allow the roadway to act as a giant solar-power generator, fueling embedded heating elements that would melt snow and ice, thereby making driving safer and snow-removal equipment unnecessary. (At least someone’s thinking!)
– CNN.com

A staggering 1-in-5 American divorces now involve Facebook as evidence of cheating, according to a new survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Fully 80% of divorce lawyers report a spike in cases that use some form of social media as proof of unreasonable behavior or irreconcilable differences. Many revolve around users who get in touch with old flames they haven’t heard from in many years. Facebook is by far the biggest offender, with 66% of divorce lawyers citing it as a primary source of evidence; MySpace follows with 15%; then Twitter at 5%; and others at 14%. (It’s the hot new app … iCheat.)
– Mail Online

The new Stuart & Sons grand piano, built in Newcastle, Australia, has 14 more keys than a regular 88-key instrument. Craftsman Wayne Stuart says the 102-key piano is unprecedented – a few other grands can play as low but none can play as high as his creation.
– National Public Radio

• In China, roughly 100 trees-a-day must be felled to supply the country’s demand for single-use chopsticks.
– Treehugger.com
• Establishing a new healthy habit takes an average of 9-and-a-half weeks and potentially as long as several months, according to new research at University College London.
– ScientificAmerican.com


1938 [73] Etta James, Los Angeles CA, legendary R&B/blues/jazz singer (“At Last”, “The Fool That I Am”)/4 Grammy Awards/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1993)/Blues Hall of Fame (2001)  BS FACTOID: Her manager confirms she’s gravely ill, fighting both leukemia and Alzheimer’s.

1981 [30] Alicia Keys (Augello-Cook), NYC, pop/R&B singer (w/Jay-Z-“Empire State of Mind”, “No One”)/sometime movie actress (“The Secret Life of Bees”, “The Nanny Diaries”)

1985 [26] Michael Trevino, Montebello CA, TV actor (‘Tyler Lockwood’ on the “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009)

• “Better Business Communication Day”, encouraging all employers to interact with staff in other ways besides pink slips.

• “International Internet-Free Day”, the 11th annual recognition of our need for contact with the ‘real world’. The idea is, for one day, to set aside time for a ‘real’ chat, write some ‘real’ mail, look things up in a ‘real’ book, etc. What would you miss most about not going online for a day?

• “Macintosh Computer Day”, marking the introduction of Apple’s Macintosh computer on this date in 1984.

• “Opposite Day”, a day to do everything backwards (ie: eat wrong-handed) as a fun way to get out of your tedious, day-in, day-out, lackluster, humdrum, milquetoast, run-of-the-mill rut.

• “Robbie Burns Day”, party time for Scots everywhere! It honors Scotland’s national poet who was born January 25, 1759 and whose most famous composition was “Auld Lang Syne”. A traditional ‘Burns Supper’ includes cock-a-leekie soup (fowl, leeks, and herbs), haggis (minced sheep’s heart, lungs, and liver mixed with oatmeal), neeps and tatties (mashed turnip and potatoes). The meal is then washed down with Scotch whisky toasts.

• “A Room of One’s Own Day”, for anyone who knows or longs for the bliss of having a private place.

• “Speak Up and Succeed Day”, time to face  your fear of public speaking and speak out anyway.

1961 [50] Disney animated classic “101 Dalmatians” opens in movie theaters

1994 [17] Michael Jackson settles child abuse civil suit for a reported $10 million (the first one)

1924 [87] 1st “Winter Olympic Games” open (Chamonix, France)

1961 [50] 1st presidential news conference carried live on radio & TV (John F Kennedy)

1978 [33] 4 women are dealt perfect Bridge hands in the same card game in Dubuque IA (odds of this happening … 2 octillion-to-1)

[Wed] Peanut Brittle Day
[Wed] Spouses Day
[Thurs] Thomas Crapper Day
[Thurs] Kazoo Day
[Thurs] Chocolate Cake Day
[Thurs] Punch the Clock Day
[Fri] “The Mechanic”; “The Rite” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Fun at Work Day
This Week Is … Nurse Anesthetists Week
This Month Is … Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month


• Can you get your daily requirement of fiber from toothpicks?
• Do people with psychic powers get nostalgic about next week?
• Is it cheaper to shoplift wholesale rather than retail?
• Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
• Where does the wax go from those ‘dripless’ candles? Wax heaven? Is it reincarnated into votives? Birthday candles? Ear wax?

Your legacy in life will be to have one single thing named after you. What would you like that to be?

My all-purpose excuse: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Today’s Question: On average, you can count on getting 63 minutes of THIS while you’re awake each day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Peace and quiet.

Common sense, unfortunately, isn’t.

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