Thursday, January 26, 2017 – Edition: #5898

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★ Lin-Manuel Miranda is on the verge of ‘EGOTing’ – winning an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony – with Tuesday’s announcement that he’s up for an Oscar for ‘Best Original Song’ (“How Far I’ll Go” from “Moana”). If he wins, he’d become the 13th – and youngest – artist to ‘EGOT’, joining the likes of Audrey Hepburn, Mel Brooks, Whoopi Goldberg and others. It would be a monumental achievement for the playwright, writer, rapper, actor, and composer. He already has 2 Grammys, multiple Tonys, and an Emmy for his prolific work.
– “New York Times”
★ “Late Show’s” Stephen Colbert has been announced as the host of the annual “Emmy Awards” on CBS-TV this Fall. The 69th annual awards show honoring the best in primetime TV takes place on September 17th in Los Angeles. Colbert quote (and Trump slam): “This will be the largest audience to witness an Emmys, period. Both in person and around-the-globe.”
– AP
★ “Madam Secretary” actor Tim Daly has broken both legs while skiing near the Sundance Film Festival. The 60-year-old was enjoying a vacation in Park City, Utah when he suffered a nasty fall on the slopes. He was scheduled to undergo surgery yesterday and will need 6-to-8 weeks to fully recover. It remains to be seen whether or not his injury will be incorporated into the 3rd season of the CBS-TV show, in which Tim plays the husband of Téa Leoni’s ‘Secretary of State’ character. Tim & Téa have also been dating in real life since 2014.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Cody Jinks (“I’m Not the Devil”).
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Anderson Paak (“Yes Lawd!”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kehlani (“SweetSexySavage”, out Friday).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Thermals (“The Body the Blood the Machine”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – She & Him (“Classics”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Nelly Furtado (“The Ride”, out March 31st).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Cage the Elephant (“Tell Me I’m Pretty”). Rerun.
• “The Magicians” (Showcase/Syfy) – The Season 2 debut of the fantasy series based on the novel of the same name by Lev Grossman. Jason Ralph stars.
• “Rhythm & Blues 40: A Soul Spectacular” (PBS) – A special concert that unites 1960s and ’70s soul and Motown artists. Rerun.
• “Riverdale” (CW) – Debut of a dark, live-action series based on the long-running “Archie” comics. Stars KJ Apa (‘Archie’), Lili Reinhart (‘Betty’), Camila Mendes (‘Veronica’), and Cole Sprouse (‘Jughead’).
• “Scandal” (ABC) – The Season 6 debut kicks off with the election results of the presidential race between ‘Mellie Grant’ (Bellamy Young) and ‘Francisco Vargas’ (Ricardo Chavira).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Jon Bellion (“The Human Condition”).

• Celine Dion – She’s announced a 16 show, 14 city European tour that gets underway June 15th in Copenhagen, Denmark. She’s also performing in France, Sweden, The Netherlands, Switzerland, and Germany, as well as in the UK for the first time in 8 years.
• Drake – The all-black version of his “OVO” Air Jordan 12 shoe is being released on February 18th, right in the middle of the NBA’s All-Star Weekend. They’ll reportedly retail for $225. The white & gold version of the shoe was released last October.
• Ed Sheeran – The 25-year-old is planning to tour with 42-year-old fellow Brit James Blunt. Ed quote: “We’re doing smaller shows. It’s mad to say an arena is a small show cause it’s not, but it was a conscious decision not to book a load of Wembleys this year.”
• Jennifer Lopez – A judge has rejected her request for a permanent restraining order against an obsessed fan because her security team didn’t show up in court. The reason? They’re unable to find the man who followed her from LA to Vegas, attending her residency shows there and sending her unwanted mail and flowers. He’s thought to be a transient.
• Miranda Lambert – After scrapping the final dates of her 2016 trek due to vocal issues, she’s ready to hit the road again tonight with an 18-date North American tour. The “Highway Vagabond Tour” gets underway in Evansville IN. Openers are Old Dominion and Aubrie Sellers.
• U2 – They say they’re hoping to premiere “one or two songs” from their upcoming album while on their “Joshua Tree 30th Anniversary Tour” this Summer. There’s still no firm release date for the upcoming “Songs of Experience” album.
• The Weeknd – Insiders say he “really likes” his rumored new girlfriend Selena Gomez; they talk or text ”every day”, and have a ”sexy and flirty relationship”. However, the sources insist, they are ”just having fun” for the time being and aren’t getting too serious. So there.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Birthday Party” – Singer-turned-filmmaker St Vincent (Annie Clark) has drawn on a terrifying childhood experience of her own in her directorial debut. The movie depicts a mother’s attempt to give her 8-year-old a perfect birthday despite finding her husband slumped unconscious in their home. The film premiered at Sundance; it opens in theaters next month.
• “King Of the Dancehall” – Nick Cannon is premiering his next movie on online streaming site YouTube Red. The “America’s Got Talent” host directs and stars in this story about a New Yorker who tries to restart his life in Jamaica. Also appearing in the film: Busta Rhymes, Whoopi Goldberg, and Louis Gossett Jr. The film is being released later this year.
• “Terminator 6” – James Cameron is in talks to act as an advisor on a new movie in the long-running franchise. The 62-year-old filmmaker co-created and directed the original 1984 movie and its 1991 sequel. “Deadpool” director Tim Miller is said to be in talks with Cameron about advising on another film before the rights to the saga revert back to Cameron in 2019.
• “To The Bone” – This drama, directed and written by Marti Noxon, follows a 20-year-old anorexic girl (Lily Collins) who tries to get medical help at a group home. Keanu Reeves plays her doctor. The rest of the cast includes Carrie Preston, Lili Taylor, and Alex Sharp. After premiering at Sundance, the feature has been picked up by Netflix for future streaming.
• “A Woman of No Importance” – 24-year-old Daisy Ridley (“Star Wars: The Force Awakens”) is set to star in this WW2-era espionage story. The film tells the story of real-life American super-spy Virginia Hall and her journey to become one of the most important covert agents for the Allies. The movie is based on the biography of the same name by Sonia Purnell.

A new listing of the best jobs for 2017, based on openings, remuneration, and career opportunities …
1. Data Scientist
2. Devops Engineer
3. Data Engineer
4. Tax Manager
5. Analytics Manager
6. HR Manager
7. Database Administrator
8. Strategy Manager
9. UX Designer
10. Solutions Architect
(Um, anyone know what these jobs are? Whatever happened to plumber, carpenter, nurse …)

OK, this may be the best invention … ever. The ‘bacon toaster’. Want to know how it works? Of course you do. Unlike some other hi-tech bacon cooking methods, like microwaving, this is actually really simple. Basically, you drape bacon over the middle rack, let it toast, then wipe down after. It even has a handy drip tray for bacon grease. And the clever toaster designers at Nostalgia Products have even come up with a dial at the side for the thickness of the bacon, so it doesn’t end up overcooked. For such a landmark invention this Bacon Express™ gizmo is priced at a super reasonable $40. (Wait … where do you put the bread?)

• The expression to ‘shed crocodile tears’ exists in 45 European languages as well as Arabic, Swahili, Persian, Indian languages, Chinese, and Mongolian. (Apparently insincere people are faking sorrow around-the-world.)
• Saudi Arabia imports camels from Australia. And sand. Saudi sand is of bad quality for construction. Also, their camels don’t taste very good. Australian camels are yummier. (We’re serious, they like the taste of Aussie humps better.)


1949 [68] David Strathairn, San Francisco CA, movie actor (“Bourne” films, “Good Night, and Good Luck”)

1955 [62] Eddie Van Halen, Nijmegen, The Netherlands, plastic-hipped classic rock guitarist (Van Halen-“Jump”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2007)

1958 [59] Ellen Degeneres, Metairie LA, TV personality (“Ellen DeGeneres Show” since 2003, “American Idol” 2010-11)/former sitcom star (“Ellen” 1994-98)

1960 [57] Charles Gillingham, Torrance CA, pop musician (Counting Crows-“Accidentally In Love”, “Big Yellow Taxi”)

1961 [56] Wayne Gretzky, Brantford ON, Hockey Hall of Fame former NHL player (9-time MVP)/all-time greatest hockey player?

1981 [36] Colin O’Donoghue, Drogheda, Ireland, TV actor (‘Captain Hook’ on “Once Upon a Time” since 2012)

1982 [35] Brahim Takioullah, Guelmim, Morocco, Guinness World Record holder for ‘World’s Largest Feet’ since 1982 (left foot: 38.1 cm/15 ins; right foot: 37.5 cm/14.76 ins)

• “Australia Day”, the national day for our mates Down Under that commemorates the 1788 landing of Captain Arthur Phillip at Sydney to establish a penal colony. Records of an annual celebration date back to 1808.

• “Clashing Clothes Day”, observed on the 4th Thursday of January. Some people seem to celebrate this holiday every day, right [sports reporter]?

• “International Customs Day”, recognizing the role of custom officials and agencies in maintaining border security. It focuses on the working conditions and challenges that customs officers face on-the-job. (To celebrate, body-frisk a co-worker today.)

• “Peanut Brittle Day”, celebrating the yummy treat that sticks to your fillings. A little sugar, a little corn syrup, a little more sugar, some peanuts, a little butter, a little more sugar …

• “Republic Day” in India, celebrating the date in 1950 when the country’s constitution came into effect, making India a sovereign state. One of only 3 national holidays, it is celebrated with parades in New Delhi and across the nation.

• “Spouse’s Day”, a time to enjoy and appreciate your better half. (Just before you deposit this month’s alimony.)

2009 [08] 8 children are born to Nadya Suleman, whom the media dubs ‘The Octomom’ (public reaction turns negative when it’s discovered the unemployed single already has 6 other kids via in vitro fertilization)

2015 [02] Nick Jonas lands a recurring role on FOX-TV’s “Scream Queens” (cast also includes Ariana Grande as a recurring guest star)

2007 [10] Rolling Stones top the music rich list for the 2nd year in-a-row after racking up over $150 million in 2006

2008 [09] Alicia Keys hits #1 with her 3rd album “As I Am”, thanks to the largest-ever first week sales for a female R&B artist

2015 [02] Blink-182 announces Tom DeLonge is no longer with the band (it’s claimed his “constant flakiness” has kept them from recording new music)

2015 [02] Chris Brown postpones his “Between the Sheets” tour with Kendrick Lamar in order to complete his last 100 hours of court-mandated community service

2003 [14] Tampa Bay Buccaneers win their 1st NFL championship, routing the Oakland Raiders 48-21 in Super Bowl 37

2015 [02] Libby Lane becomes the 1st woman to ordained as a Church of England bishop

2010 [07] James Cameron’s film “Avatar” surpasses his 1997 movie “Titanic” to become the highest-grossing film of all-time (eventually totaling $2.8 billion)

[Fri] “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Fun at Work Day
[Sat] Chinese New Year
[Sat] Seed Swap Day
[Sun] Curmudgeons Day
[Sun] Seeing Eye Dog Day
This Week Is … Medical Group Practice Week
This Month Is … Get a Balanced Life Month


✓ Play the exciting new game “Does My Head Fit In the Glove Compartment?”
✓ Imagine you’re in line of cars waiting to run over Donald Trump.
✓ Walk up to guy in car ahead of you, ask him about his grandson. That’ll kill an hour or two.
✓ Use jumper cables to resuscitate road-kill.
✓ Turn on wipers, have a ‘race’ to see which one goes faster.
✓ Call police to report a stolen vehicle, give the license plate of the car in front of you. Repeat until you’re at the head of the line.
✓ Honk your horn … that always helps to get things moving.

The wind is like the air, only pushier.

• Which sport is played with a racquet and safety goggles?
a. Table Tennis.
b. Racquetball. [CORRECT]
c. Badminton.
d. Wasp Swatting.

• What word means ‘zero’ when calling the score in tennis?
a. Zip.
b. Nil.
c. Love. [CORRECT. From the French for ‘egg’ … l’oeuf.]
d. Nothing.

☎ What’s your weirdest and/or worst border-crossing experience anywhere?

Question: Average parents spend about $54 per week on THIS.
Answer: Babysitting.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

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