Friday, January 27, 2012        Edition: #4678


Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
According to TMZ.com, troubled actress Demi Moore was doing ‘whip-its’ – a street name for a type of nitrous oxide inhalant – when she lapsed into semi-consciousness and was rushed to hospital this week (how would she get into ‘laughing gas’, dating a dentist?) . . . Courtroom regular Lindsay Lohan is being sued again, this time by a nanny who claims she was injured when the ‘actress’ ran a red light in September 2010, hitting both the care-giver and the stroller she was pushing (luckily, the baby wasn’t injured) . . . For this week’s season premiere of her reality TV show “Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best” (WE), 78-year-old Joan Rivers has allowed TV cameras to document her ‘734th cosmetic surgery procedure’ (as a comedian, she’s becoming more sad than funny) . . . Having already flogged TV singing and talent competitions to death, Simon Cowell is launching a new talent competition to find the world’s best DJs (Quote: “DJ’s are the new rock stars; it feels like the right time to make this show”) . . . Not only has Katy Perry’s recently estranged hubby Russell Brand been seeing other women, “Us Weekly” reports he’s actually asked one of them to move in with him (we always thought he had class) . . . And dog trainer Omar von Muller tells “Life & Style” that 10-year-old ‘Uggie’, the Jack Russell terrier from Oscar-nominated movie “The Artist”, is retiring because ‘he’s getting tired’ (his little brother ‘Dash’ is wagging his tail over finally getting a shot at the limelight).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Kellie Pickler (“100 Proof”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Kathleen Edwards (“Voyageur”).
• “Great Performances” (PBS) – Tonight recorded performances of Tony Bennett singing tunes from his latest album “Duets 2” with the late Amy Winehouse, Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, Sheryl Crow, and others.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Kina Grannis (“Stairwells”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Atmosphere (“The Family Sign”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Common (“The Dreamer, The Believer”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Dolly Parton (“Joyful Noise”). Rerun.
• “SAG Awards” (TBS/TNT/Global) – Sunday the 18th Screen Actors Guild gala honoring acting performances, at LA’s Angeles Shrine Exposition Center. A few highlights …
– “The Help” leads all movies with 4 nominations.
– “The Artist”, “Bridesmaids”, “The Descendants”, “The Help”, and “Midnight in Paris” are all nominated for ‘Outstanding Cast Performance’ in a movie.
– TV veteran Mary Tyler Moore (“Mary Tyler Moore”, “Dick Van Dyke Show”) receives a ‘Life Achievement Award’.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Jimmy Fallon (“Late Night”); musical guest Michael Bublé (“Christmas”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Seal (“Soul 2”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – “21” is once again the best-selling album for a 17th week, according to SoundScan. It’s now been #1 longer than any album since “The Bodyguard” soundtrack wrapped up a 20-week run on top in 1993.
• Dierks Bentley – Sunday he performs one of a series of free concerts in Indianapolis, Indiana’s Super Bowl Village leading up to Super Bowl 46. Will Hoge is also on the bill. The concert series runs tonight through February 5th.
• Etta James – Today a public memorial and viewing is being held at the Inglewood Cemetery in Inglewood, California. A private funeral will be held on Saturday for immediate family and friends, presided over by the Rev Al Sharpton. ‘The Matriarch of R&B’ died last Friday at age 73.
• George Strait – Tonight Martina McBride joins ‘King George’ as his 2012 tour kicks off in Lafayette, Louisiana.
• Lady Antebellum – Tonight the 2nd leg of their “Own the Night World Tour” gets under way in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with openers Darius Rucker and Thompson Square. They’ve already sold more than a half-million tickets for the trek that runs through June.
• Madonna – MIA and Nicki Minaj are expected to appear in her upcoming video “Give Me All Your Luvin”, and rumor has it they may also show up to perform with her during her halftime show at the Super Bowl. As a clue to that performance, Madonna says to think ‘pom-poms’.
• Norah Jones – She’s releasing a new album entitled “Little Broken Hearts”, a collaboration with producer and musician Danger Mouse. It doesn’t yet have an exact release date, but will be out sometime this Spring. She’ll also be touring extensively in 2012.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:

• “The Grey” ( R-Rated Action Adventure ): In Alaska, an oil drilling team struggles to survive after a plane crash strands them in the wild. Hunting the humans is a pack of wolves which sees them as intruders. Stars Liam Neeson, Dermot Mulroney, Frank Grillo, Dallas Roberts. Shot in British Columbia.
NET: http://thegreythemovie.com
• “Man On a Ledge” ( PG-13  Crime Thriller ) – Like “Snakes On a Plane” (2006), the title pretty much says it all. The twist here is, while a police psychologist works to talk down an ex-con who is threatening to jump from a Manhattan hotel rooftop, the biggest diamond heist ever committed is underway. Stars Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Bell.
NET: http://www.manonaledge.com
• “One For the Money” ( PG-13 Crime Comedy ): This adaptation of the 1st novel in Janet Evanovich’s mega-popular series stars Katherine Heigl as the unemployed, newly-divorced ‘Stephanie Plum’, who lands a job at her cousin’s bail-bond business where her first assignment puts her on the trail of a former lover. Co-stars Jason O’Mara, John Leguizamo.
NET: http://oneforthemoneyfilm.com/index2.html

SLAP IN THE FACEBOOK?
The ‘hacktivist’ group Anonymous, which took down various government and media websites last week in protest over Megaupload’s shutdown and arrests, has a new site in its cross-hairs … Facebook. In an online announcement, it promises to bring down the social networking giant on Saturday at 12 am. While it admits that Facebook has at least 60,000 servers worldwide, it claims it’s still possible to take down. Why bother? It’s part of the group’s ongoing campaign to maintain freedom on the Internet by encouraging rejection of proposed regulative legislation like ‘SOPA’, ‘PIPA’, and ‘ACTA’. (Bills obviously created using a bowl of Alpha-Bits.)
– CBC.ca

TIPS TO NEGOTIATE YOUR BEST SALARY:
Some key things to consider when haggling over pay …
✓ Do Your Homework – Learn as much as you can about the pay scale offered for your job.
✓ Prioritize – As well as money, consider other factors like time off and balancing your lifestyle.
✓ Don’t Be Confrontational – You don’t want the reputation of being arrogant or overly demanding.
✓ It’s Business, Not Personal – Leave details of your private life and its commitments out of it.
✓ Be Flexible – Accept less salary if there are additional bonuses for specific accomplishments.
✓ Be Reasonable – If you’re looking for 10% more, you may have to accept a saw-off at 5%.
✓ Be Realistic – Negotiating isn’t a win-lose proposition, it’s a compromise.
– Listsoplenty.com

GOOGLE-Y EYES:

Given Google’s controversial announcement Tuesday that users will not be able to opt out of new privacy changes, learning what the company thinks about you seems like a good idea. Google guesses your ‘inferred demographics’ (age, gender, etc) based on websites you visit that are tracked by a Google cookie. You can find out who the company thinks you are at the ‘Google Ad Preference’ page, which lists its guesses at your interests and demographic info. (These can be hilariously off-target, as a single computer account often has many users.)
NET: http://www.google.com/ads/preferences/html
– Condensed from Slate.com

THE END OF RÉSUMÉS?
It used to be that composing a quality résumé was critical to a successful job hunt, but that’s changing. Hiring managers are increasingly looking toward applicants’ ‘web presence’ to gauge what they have to offer. For instance, NYC venture-capital firm Union Square asks applicants to send in links to their Twitter account, Tumblr blog, as well as to a short video demonstrating their interest in a position. Other companies are increasingly relying on social networks such as LinkedIn, video profiles, and online quizzes to gauge candidates’ suitability for a job. (Time to start deleting those naked party pics from your Facebook page … unless you’re really hot.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

BS AMAZING COUPLE FACTS:

• If you argue with your spouse about finances once a week, your marriage is 30% more likely to end in divorce than those that argue about money less frequently.
• If only 1 partner is a smoker, there is a 75-to-91% greater chance of divorce than a couple with 2 smokers.
• Unhappy couples are more likely to stay together during tough economic times than in good ones.
– Excerpted from TheToiletPaper.com

BS CHRONOMETER 01.27.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1957 [55] Frank Miller, Olney MD, graphic novelist/artist (“300”, “The Wolverine”)/movie director (“Sin City” films)

1959 [53] Cris Collinsworth, Dayton OH, NFL TV analyst (“NBC Sunday Night Football” since 2009, “Inside the NFL” since 2008)/former NFL WR (Cincinnati Bengals 1981-88)

1961 [51] Margo Timmins, Montréal QC, pop singer (Cowboy Junkies-“Misguided Angel”, “Sweet Jane”)

1968 [44] Tracy Lawrence, Atlanta TX, country singer (“Find Out Who Your Friends Are”, “Paint Me a Birmingham”)

SATURDAY –
Pop singer-songwriter Sarah McLachlan (“Fallen”) is 44; Pop keyboardist Brandon Bush (Train) is 39; TV personality-pop singer Joey Fatone (*NSYNC) is 35; Rapper Rick Ross (“The Boss”) is 35; Pop singer Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys) is 32; Movie actor Elijah Wood (“Lord Of the Rings”) is 31; Rapper J Cole (“Can’t Get Enough”) is 27; TV actress Ariel Winter (“Modern Family”) is 14.

SUNDAY –
Media mogul Oprah Winfrey (OWN) is 58; Movie actor-director Edward Burns (“Man On a Ledge”) is 44; Movie actress Heather Graham (“The Hangover”) is 42; TV personality Sara Gilbert (“The Talk”) is 37; Pop singer Adam Lambert (“Whataya Want from Me”) is 30.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Carnaval de Québec”, the 58th edition of Canada’s largest outdoor Winter carnival through February 12th includes night parades, concerts, and snow sculptures. The official drink is a ‘Caribou’ (brandy, vodka, sherry, and port). The mascot is snowman ‘Bonhomme Carnaval’.
NET: http://www.carnaval.qc.ca/en
• “Chocolate Cake Day”, for some unknown reason. But then … do we need one?
• “Family Literacy Day”, to promote the importance of reading & learning together as a family.
NET: http://abclifeliteracy.ca/en/family-literacy-day
• “Preschool Fitness Day”, observed on the last Friday in January to underline the importance of physical fitness for preschool children. (Here’s a thought … instead of parking them in front of a screen, let ‘em run around!)
• “Punch the Clock Day”, a day to calmly do your job stress-free, then go home and enjoy your real life.
• “Thomas Crapper Day”, in honor of the man who invented the toilet flush mechanism, on the anniversary of his death in 1910. Thomas Crapper & Co became engineers by appointment to the English ‘throne’.

SATURDAY –
• “Blueberry Pancake Day”, a day to enjoy this yummy breakfast treat. The secret … pour the batter first, then drop the berries in afterward.
• “Data Privacy Day”, to raise awareness about the importance of protecting the privacy of personal information online. It is currently observed in Canada, the USA, and 27 European countries.
NET: http://dataprivacyday2011.org
• “International Make Your Point Day.” So what is the gist of what you’re trying to say anyway?
• “Seed Swap Day”, observed annually on the last Saturday in January to encourage gardeners to share resources with other gardeners and thereby reduce the need to buy expensive seeds from commercial suppliers. (After last year’s failures, we’re about ready to throw in the trowel.)

SUNDAY –
• “Curmudgeons Day”, an annual celebration of the crusty, yet insightful, wags who consistently apply the needle of truth to the balloons of hypocrisy and social norms. Always celebrated on the birthday of late comedian WC Fields, one of the all-time most beloved curmudgeons.
• “Corn Chip Day”. Ask listeners to put a half-dozen in their mouths and whistle a tune.
• “Guide Dog Day”, commemorating ‘The Seeing Eye’, North America’s first guide dog school which opened in Nashville, Tennessee on this date in 1929.
• “Puzzle Day”, celebrating one of our all-time favorite pastimes. What’s your favorite … jigsaw or crossword?
• “World Leprosy Day”, an annual observance on the last Sunday of January to increase public awareness about leprosy and to further leprosy eradication. (It’s not just biblical!)
NET: http://bit.ly/cwxVzo

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1926 [86] Scottish inventor John Logie Baird gives the initial public demonstration of ‘Television’, in London, England (an early episode of “Live With Regis Philbin”)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1858 [154] Ottawa is selected to be the capital of Canada (should have been Moose Jaw!)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

2004 [08] 13-year-old New Zealand actress Keisha Castle-Hughes (“Whale Rider”) becomes the youngest actress ever nominated in the ‘Best Actress’ category of the Academy Awards (Charlize Theron later wins for “Monster”)

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Mon] Inane Answering Message Day
[Mon] Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
[Mon] Yodel for Your Neighbors Day
[Tues] Backwards Day
[Tues] Asteroid 433 Eros passes by Earth
[Tues] Inspire Your Heart With Art Day
This Week Is . . . Mozart Week
This Month Is . . . Meat Month

BULL’S BITS


BS SIGNS YOUR DOCTOR IS TRYING TO KILL YOU:
• Keeps wanting to test your reflexes with a rusty bear-trap.
• Before attaching EKG electrodes, asks you to stand in a pail of water.
• Her examining table has a chalk body outline drawn on it.
• You come out of the anesthesia in the fast lane of a busy highway.
• Has other patients mounted on the wall.
• Just as you’re going under you hear him say, “Say hi to Steve Jobs for me.”
• You stop by for a flu shot and go home with a baboon liver.

BS PHONE STARTER:

☎ What’s the best one-liner pick-up line … that actually worked on you?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:

Which should a woman do if she wants a guy to spend a lot of money on her during a date?
a. Laugh a lot.
b. Wear red. [CORRECT. A recent study finds men will spend more on a date dressed in red.]
c. Sign a promissory note.

BS RANDOM JOKE:

Less popular street vendor … Deep-Fried Sewer Bass.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: More than half of parents admit to doing THIS to their children.
Answer: Hiding from them at times.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.


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