Tuesday, January 28, 2014       Edition: #5147

Sheet for Brains!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Tonight an opera version of “Brokeback Mountain”, the Oscar-winning epic about the relationship between 2 cowboys in the American West, premieres at the Teatro Real in Madrid, Spain. The work has taken 6 years to develop. It’s American composer, Charles Wuorinen, says he worked closely with Annie Proulx, whose original short story was published in the “New Yorker” before being transported to the screen by director Ang Lee. Composed in 2 acts over 2 hours, with dialogue in simple English, the opera is scheduled to run until February 11th.
– RelaxNews.com
★ 23-year-old actress Jennifer Lawrence is set to sign a multimillion dollar deal with Dior. The “American Hustle” actress has reportedly been approached to enter into a 3-year contract with the luxury fashion house, rumored to be worth between $15-and-$20 million. A source says there’s no signed deal as yet, but Jennifer’s open to the idea of continuing a partnership. This news comes as little surprise since she’s been a spokesmodel for Dior since 2012.
– NYPost.com
★ Actor-comedian Stephen Fry has joined the new season of “24” as the British Prime Minister. “24: Live Another Day” is set 4 years after the last series and once again stars Kiefer Sutherland as counter-terrorist expert ‘Jack Bauer’, who returns to London as a fugitive on the run from the CIA. “24’s” new season will again take place over the course of a single day, though it will leap around in time instead of following the usual hour-by-hour structure. The FOX series is set to premiere with a 2-hour special on May 5th.
– Deadline.com
★ And 29-year-old Khloe Kardashian has sold her former marital home to “Big Bang Theory” actress Kaley Cuoco and her new husband, tennis player Ryan Sweeting. The “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star, who filed for divorce from 4-year husband Lamar Odom in December, has offloaded the sprawling property in Tarzana, California for a reported $5.49 million after it was listed just 2 weeks. That’s over $1.5 million more than what Kardashian & Odom paid in 2009.
– “Bang Showbiz”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – YG f/Jeezy (“Boss Yo Life Up Gang”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jimmy Vivino & The Black Italians (formerly of “The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien”)
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Jake Bugg (“Shangri La”); Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (“The Heist”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Motley Crue (“Saints of Los Angeles”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Bastille (“All This Bad Blood”).
• “State Of the Union 2014” (ABC/CBS/FOX/NBC/PBS) – President Obama’s speech will likely last about 90 minutes. Your favorite show is preempted.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Jennifer Nettles (“That Girl”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Dwight Yoakam (“3 Pears”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Clean Bandit – The newcomers have landed their first-ever #1 on the UK chart this week with Britain’s fastest-selling track of the year so far, “Rather Be” f/Jess Glynne. The band formed when 3-of-the-4 members met at Cambridge University in 2009.
• Justin Bieber – Usher has flown to Panama for an intervention, according to TMZ.com. Bieber is hiding out with his posse at Panama’s Nitro City, a sports resort created by motorsports competitor and stuntman Travis Pastrana. As well as Bieb’s mentor Usher, his mom and his manager Scooter Braun have also reportedly shown up.
• Miranda Lambert – She’s donated $3,000 to North Dakota’s Prairie Paws Rescue to help pay for a new rescue van. The grant is one of many that Miranda said late last year would come to each US state from her Mutt Nation Foundation throughout 2014.
• One Direction – 18-year-old reality TV star Kendall Jenner wants to treat 2-month boyfriend Harry Styles, who turns 20 on Saturday, to a birthday surprise. Word has it she’s asked to use her dad’s cliff-top vacation home in Big Sur, California for a private getaway.
• Shinedown – Today frontman Brent Smith & guitarist Zach Myers, under the moniker Smith & Myers, release “Acoustic Sessions”, featuring covers of songs by Black Crowes, The Clash, Metallica, Otis Redding, Soul Asylum and others. Meantime, Shinedown continue to work on their 5th studio album.
• The Wanted – Tom Parker will be the first member of the band to go solo after their split. The “All Time Low” hit-makers have announced they will break up after their upcoming “Word of Mouth” tour. Parker has apparently already recorded a song with N-Dubz member Fazer.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on Netflix and/or other video providers …
• “Bad Grandpa” ( R-Rated Comedy ): The ‘Jackass Presents’ has been removed from the title but it still reflects what type of fare to expect. 86-year-old Irving Zisman takes a journey across America with the most unlikely companion, his 8 year-old grandson Billy. Co-stars Johnny Knoxville, Jackson Nicoll, Spike Jonze, Georgina Cates.
• “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2” ( PG Family Animation ): In this sequel to the 2009 film, inventor ‘Flint Lockwood’ discovers that his machine that turns water into food is now creating food-animals … ‘foodimals’. Voice cast includes Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan, Will Forte, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, Neil Patrick Harris.
• “The Fifth Estate” ( R-Rated Biographical Thriller ): Director Bill Condon’s dramatic thriller is based on the real events surrounding cyber-snitch Julian Assange and his WikiLeaks website. Brit actor Benedict Cumberbatch portrays Assange. Co-stars Daniel Bruhl, Carice van Houten, Alicia Vikander. Two different books were used as the basis for the screenplay.
• “Last Vegas” ( PG-13 Comedy ): A trio of 60-something friends take a break from their day-to-day lives to throw a bachelor party in Las Vegas for their last remaining single pal. Starring Robert De Niro (70), Michael Douglas (69), Morgan Freeman (76), and Kevin Kline (66), this film has been nicknamed ‘The Geriatric Hangover’.
• “Rush” ( R-Rated Action Drama ): Director Ron Howard’s latest is set against the glamorous golden age of Formula 1 racing in the 1970s. It’s the true story of two of the great rivals in the sport: English playboy James Hunt (played by Chris Hemsworth) and Austrian perfectionist Niki Lauda (Daniel Bruhl). Co-stars Olivia Wilde, Alexandra Maria Lara.
• Also released today: “Downton Abbey: Season 4” (TV); “Metallica Through The Never” (Music); “Nicholas Sparks Limited Edition DVD Collection” (Compilation); “1” (Documentary); “The Snow Queen” (Animation); and “Treme: The Complete 4th Season” (TV).

FIGHTING COUPLES:
If you squabble a lot with your sweetie, don’t think that things will improve after getting hitched. Recent Ohio State University research shows that conflict levels don’t vary much over the course of marriage. The good news, on the other hand, is that if you get along well now, you’re likely to continue getting along. (Another case of ‘WYSIWYG’. What you see is what you get.)
– ScienceDaily.com

CALLING ALL STYLISTS:
An on-demand beauty service called Vensette expanded its service recently by rolling out an app. Vensette employs an army of specially trained hairstylists and makeup artists who are ready to meet clients in and around NYC. To use Vensette, users choose a look from a curated menu of hair and makeup styles; the company then sends a uniformed hairstylist or makeup artist to the door. Appointments, which start at $150, are guaranteed to be completed in 45 minutes or less by one of Vensette’s more than 100 trained and vetted freelance stylists. (What other service would you like delivered to your door?)
– Mashable.com

SLEEP SMOKING:
Having a hard time getting to sleep at night? Don’t smoke before bedtime. Nicotine is a stimulant, with effects similar to caffeine. So it’s best to avoid smoking both before bedtime or if you wake up in the middle of the night. (And if you’re smoking after sex … you’re doing it all wrong.)
– WebMD.com

DEADLIEST STARS:
Movie actors with the most onscreen kills …
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger … 369.
2. Chow Yun-Fat … 295.
3. Sylvester Stallone … 267.
(Top female Uma Thurman isn’t even close at just 77.)
– “USA Today”

MOST SUPERSTITIOUS CITY?
Hong Kong could credibly be called the most superstitious city on Earth. There it’s completely normal to shell out for a lucky phone number from a night-market hawker. Tycoons pay millions for licence plates with digits that supposedly bring good fortune. And people spurn secondhand goods because they believe they might be infected with the prior owner’s bad luck. (We worry more about bad smell.)
– Esquire.com

LOVE TEST:
If you’ve always wanted undergarments that respond directly to your heart rate and body secretions, Japan has got your back. For its 10th anniversary, lingerie company Ravijour has developed what they’re calling the ‘True Love Tester’, a bra that only unhooks when it senses you’re in love. Basically the bra reads your heart rate and sends it via bluetooth to an app on your smartphone. The app calculates what it thinks your heart rate means and pops the bra open automatically if it determines you’re in love. (This will work great at the gym.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/npozsou
– GeekOSystem.com

UNSKILLFUL AND UNAWARE:
Cornell University research indicates that incompetent people tend not to know they are incompetent. In fact, they tend to be more confident of their competence than those who really know what they’re doing. (Example: People who persist in telling jokes … badly.)
– PA News

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• All forms of corporal punishment – from smacking to hair-pulling – have been outlawed in Sweden since 1979.
– Magazine Monitor
• The average age of Japanese farmers is now 70.
– “Financial Times”

BS CHRONOMETER 01.28.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1968 [46] Sarah McLachlan, Halifax NS, soft rock singer (“Sweet Surrender”, “Adia”)

1977 [37] Rick Ross (William Roberts II), Coahoma County MS, rapper (f/Drake & Chrisette Michele-“Aston Martin Music”, f/T-Pain-“The Boss”)

1977 [37] Joey Fatone, Brooklyn NY, TV personality (“Family Feud” announcer since 2010, “Dancing With the Stars” 2007, “The Singing Bee” 2007)/former pop singer (*NSYNC-“Pop”)

1980 [34] Nick Carter, Jamestown NY, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“As Long As You Love Me”)/one-time Paris Hilton boy-toy

1981 [33] Elijah Wood, Cedar Rapids IA, bug-eyed movie actor (“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey”, “The Lord Of the Rings” trilogy)

1985 [29] J (Jermaine)Cole, Frankfurt, Germany, rapper (“Nobody’s Perfect”, Work Out”)

1998 [16] Ariel Winter, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (‘Alex Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Blueberry Pancake Day”, because they’re nutritious enough to eat for breakfast, tasty enough for a mid-day snack, and easy enough to make for dinner. (Also make for a great conversation starter, as in “Ewwww, what happened to your teeth?”)
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-blueberry-pancake-day

• “Data Privacy Day”, to raise awareness about the importance of protecting the privacy of personal information online. It is currently observed in Canada, the USA, and 27 European countries.
NET: http://www.staysafeonline.org/data-privacy-day/

• “International Make Your Point Day.” So what is the gist of what you’re trying to say, anyway?

• “Speak Up & Succeed Day”, observed annually on the 4th Tuesday of January. (Tomorrow is ‘You’re Fired, You Loudmouth Troublemaker Day’.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [08] Clint Eastwood becomes the 31st filmmaker in 70 years of Directors Guild of America (DGA) history to be given the organization’s ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [15] 1st ‘Live Sex Change Operation’ is performed online (download or upload?)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1984 [30] Glynn Wolfe weds for a non-bigamous record 26th time (Las Vegas, Nevada)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Curmudgeons Day
[Wed] Seeing Eye Dog Day
[Thurs] Kazoo Day
[Thurs] AACTA Awards (Sydney)
[Fri] Chinese New Year
This Week Is … Catholic Schools Week
This Month Is … Bath Safety Month

BULL’S BITS


BS SIGNS YOU WORK IN A BAD OFFICE:
● Every week a third of your pay is deducted for the ‘Prozac Fund’.
● You have a desk, but no chair.
● To increase profitability, the conference room has been turned into a chinchilla farm.
● Only the vending machine makes less money than you.
● In your one-page performance report, the word ‘sucks’ appears 13 times.
● The company president casually asks you if you know anything about starting fires.
● The guy who comes in once a week to change the water cooler is the new VP.
● When you say, “See you tomorrow,” the security guard laughs uncontrollably.
● Your office nickname … ‘Deadwood’.
● When stressed, your boss compulsively licks his back.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Here’s one for your website. Bad Lip Reading looks at the NFL. Hilarious!
NET: http://tinyurl.com/qfldnoz

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What other activities will you be doing while watching Sunday’s Super Bowl? (According to a poll, 82% will be snacking, 52% think they’ll be yelling at the TV, 44% drinking beer, 39% swearing, and 26% admit they’ll be betting on the game.)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What is -273 degrees Celcius known as?
a. The ‘Death Point’.
b. ‘Absolute Zero’. [CORRECT]
c. Yesterday’s high in Montréal.
– “Trivia Quest Magazine”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
There’s still no cure for the common birthday.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 25% fewer teens are using THIS in 2014 than in 2013.
Answer: Facebook.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Celibacy is not hereditary.


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