Thursday, January 29, 2015        Edition: #5386

Have Another Sheetload!

★ Today “Parks & Recreation” star and “Golden Globes” co-host Amy Poehler receives the ‘Woman Of the Year Award’ from Hasty Pudding Theatricals. The annual tongue-in-cheek honors are handed out by Harvard University’s drama troupe to performers who have made lasting and impressive contributions to the world of entertainment. Festivities begin at 4 pm when Poehler will lead a parade through the streets of Cambridge MA. Afterward she’ll receive her ‘Pudding Pot’ during a celebratory roast. Actor Chris Pratt receives the 2015 ‘Man Of the Year Award’ on February 6th.
★ Chris Pratt is reportedly being eyed as the next ‘Indiana Jones’, the swashbuckling hero made popular by Harrison Ford and director Steven Spielberg. Disney bought the property from Paramount Pictures in 2013, and word has it the company is looking to the “Guardians Of the Galaxy” star as someone to build the new franchise around. It’s unknown who would write a 5th “Indiana Jones” movie … or even if it will happen for sure. Stay tuned.
★ Starting tonight, HBO’s epic “Game of Thrones” becomes the first TV series to be shown in IMAX theaters. For one week only, through February 5th, some 200 cinemas screen the final 2 episodes of the series’ 4th season, as well as an exclusive Season 5 trailer. The 2 episodes, entitled “The Watchers On the Wall” and “The Children”, have been digitally remastered to fit the IMAX format, meaning they’ll look even more spectacular than they did on the small screen last year. The 5th season gets underway April 12th. Listing of IMAX screenings here …
★ And actor Benedict Cumberbatch has apologized for a comment he made on Tavis Smiley’s late-night PBS-TV show. In referring to the problems black British actors have finding work in the UK, he thoughtlessly referred to them as ‘colored’. The “Imitation Game” star, who is nominated for a ‘Best Actor’ Oscar, says he was ‘devastated’ after realizing he caused offence and admits he feels like an ‘idiot’. His comments were seized upon and criticized by many, including the organization Show Racism the Red Card, which wrist-slapped him for inappropriate terminology.

• “American Idol” (FOX) – Another round of hopefuls try to impress the judges as auditions continue.
• Australian Academy of Cinema & Television Arts Awards (Sydney NSW) – Ethan Hawke’s sci-fi thriller “Predestination” leads nominations for the 2015 AACTAs with 9, followed by Russell Crowe’s directorial debut, “The Water Diviner”, with 8. On the TV side, the drama “INXS – Never Tear Us Apart” has multiple nominations including a ‘Best Lead Actor’ nod for Luke Arnold for his role as tragic singer Michael Hutchence.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – George Ezra (“Wanted On Voyage”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Kanye West (“FourFiveSeconds”); Sam Smith (“In the Lonely Hour”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ne-Yo (“Non-Fiction”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Broods (“Evergreen”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show” (CBS/Omni 1) – OK Go (“Hungry Ghosts”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Death Cab For Cutie performs new single “Black Sun”.
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Christina Milian (“Christina Milian: Turned Up”).
• “Parenthood” (NBC) – The tear-jerker drama’s series finalé, “May God Bless and Keep You Always”, says goodbye to the ‘Bravermans’ after 6 seasons.
• “Quiet Riot: Well Now You’re Here, There’s No Way Back” (Showtime) – Documentary about the formation and rise of the heavy metal band and Frankie Banali’s efforts to re-form it.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Echosmith (“Talking Dreams”). Rerun.
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – Backstreet Boys (“In a World Like This”).

• Chris Brown– He’s delayed his tour, which was slated to begin this week, to complete his final 100 hours of court-ordered community service. The trek was to run 5 weeks, with Trey Songz and Tyga as opening acts. Now Brown has announced that it’s postponed for ‘a couple weeks’.
• Gwen Stefani – Her 2005 hit “Hollaback Girl” was written in response to a comment Courtney Love made in “Seventeen” magazine, dismissing the No Doubt frontwoman as a ‘cheerleader’.
• John Legend / Common – It’s confirmed they will perform “Glory”, their award-winning song from the film “Selma”, at the Academy Awards on February 22nd.
• Kongos – Tonight they set off on their 1st North American headline tour. “The Lunatic Tour” begins in Dallas TX and runs through March 13th in Los Angeles CA. Support comes from indie rock outfits Sir Sly and Colony House on most dates.
• Magic! – The reggae-pop band has picked up a leading 5 nominations for Canada’s upcoming Juno Awards to be handed out March 15th, including ‘Best Single’ for “Rude”.
• Sam Hunt – Tonight his “Lipstick Graffiti Tour” launches at the Troubadour in West Hollywood CA. The tour will run through mid-April. Opening acts include up-and-comers Native Run and Michael Ray.
• Taylor Swift – She’s had her Twitter account frozen after a series of suspect tweets apparently by hacker group Lizard Squad were sent from her account to over 51 million followers. The messages received thousands of retweets before being discovered and ‘swiftly’ deleted. One message threatened to leak nude photos of the singer.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Extraction” – 59-year-old “Die Hard” actor Bruce Willis has signed on to star in this upcoming thriller that centers on a former CIA operative who is kidnapped by a terrorist group while he’s developing a special weapon with his son. The movie begins shooting in Alabama next month, with an eye toward a 2016 opening.
• “Ghostbusters 3” – “Bridesmaids” director Paul Feig has revealed his cast for the upcoming all-female reboot of the 1980s supernatural comedy series. It includes “Bridesmaids” stars Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy, and current “SNL” cast members Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones. The original stars who are still around will also apparently have minor roles.
• “Katrina” – Ava DuVernay and actor David Oyelowo are teaming up again. Their last movie, “Selma”, is up for ‘Best Picture’ at the Oscars February 22nd, and now they’ll collaborate on a film about the hurricane that devastated New Orleans LA in 2005. DuVernay will write, produce, and direct the film, which chronicles a love story and murder mystery amidst the mayhem.
• “Reagan” – 25-year-old former “Wizards of Waverly Place” actor David Henrie will play future US president Ronald Reagan as a young man. The bio-pic’s storyline is told from the point-of-view of a Russian KGB officer who’s been keeping tabs on Reagan since his days as an actor. The $25-million indie film is being adapted from 2 biographies written by Paul Kengor.
• “Star Trek 3” – Brit actor Simon Pegg (“Shaun Of the Dead”) is co-writing the 3rd movie in the the reboot of the sci-fi franchise. Pegg, who’s played the fiery and unconventional ‘Scotty’ in the first 2 films, began his career as a writer and has managed to incorporate his sci-fi interests in most of his films. The as-yet-untitled “Trek” sequel is coming in 2016.

• The Seattle Seahawks are the 1st team to play in consecutive Super Bowls since New England Patriots in 2004-05.
• The 1st time University of Phoenix Stadium hosted a Super Bowl was in 2008, when NY Giants ended New England Patriots’ perfect season by upsetting them 17-14.
• A 30-second ad during this year’s game is estimated to cost $4-to-4.5 million. For the 1st Super Bowl in 1967, the average cost of a 30-second ad was around $40,000.
• That 1st Super Bowl was the only one that aired on 2 networks simultaneously … CBS and NBC.
• Last year’s Super Bowl, which saw Seattle crush Denver Broncos 43-8, was the most-watched Super Bowl of all-time (111.5 million viewers), and the most-watched program is US TV history.
• Players on the winning team this year receive $97,000. And yes, even Super Bowl losers get a little extra cash, taking home $49,000.
– “Good Morning America”

It’s the latest in facial fat-burning! A simple new injection is showing promise as a treatment to eliminate a ‘double chin’. A chemical cocktail known as ATX-101 seems to remove submental fat, or fat below the skin, when injected into facial skin. The drug is a form of deoxycholic acid, which is a naturally occurring molecule that helps eliminate fat. It’s been shown to reduce chin fat in 90% of test participants in California, Germany, and the UK over a 2 year period. However, 90% also experienced some mostly mild side effects. The drug will be considered for approval by the US Food & Drug Administration in May. (In the meantime, it’s back to camouflaging your wattle with artfully tied scarves.)
– “The Independent”

• “Game of Thrones” was the most pirated TV show of 2014.
• Only 5 performers have won consecutive Oscars, beginning with German-born actress Luise Rainer, who died in December at age 104.
– BBC News


1945 [70] Tom Selleck, Detroit MI, TV actor (‘Frank Reagan’ on “Blue Bloods” since 2010, “Las Vegas” 2007-08, “Magnum PI” 1980-88)/movie actor (“Three Men & a Baby”)

1954 [61] Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko MS, TV network mogul (OWN)/1st woman to own & produce her own TV talk show (“Oprah” 1986-2011)/movie producer & actress (“Selma”, “Precious”)/magazine publisher (“O”)

1968 [47] Ed Burns, Queens NY, movie actor (“Alex Cross”, “Saving Private Ryan”)/movie producer-director (“Purple Violets”, “She’s the One”)

1970 [45] Heather Graham, Milwaukee WI, movie actress (“The Hangover” movies, “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”)

1975 [40] Sara Gilbert, Santa Monica CA, TV personality (“The Talk” since 2010)/TV actress (“Big Bang Theory” 2007-10, “The Class” 2006-07, “ER” 2004-07, “Roseanne” 1988-97)

1977 [38] Sam Jaeger, Perrysburg OH, TV actor (‘Joel Graham’ on “Parenthood” 2010-15)

1982 [33] Adam Lambert, Indianapolis IN, pop singer (“Whataya Want from Me”, 2009 “American Idol” runner-up)

• “Corn Chip Day”. Ask listeners to put a half-dozen in their mouths and whistle a tune.

• “Curmudgeons Day”, an annual celebration of the crusty, yet insightful, wags who consistently apply the needle of truth to the balloons of hypocrisy and social norms. Always celebrated on the birthday of late comedian WC Fields, one of the all-time most beloved curmudgeons.

• “Guide Dog Day”, commemorating ‘The Seeing Eye’, North America’s first guide dog school which opened in Nashville, Tennessee on this date in 1929. The name is trademarked.

• “Kazoo Day”, celebrated annually on the last Thursday of January. The simple-to-play musical instrument first went into commercial production in 1912. A really bad kazoo band playing the Rolling Stones’ “Miss You” can be heard here …

• “Puzzle Day”, celebrating one of our all-time favorite pastimes. What’s your favorite: Jigsaw or Crossword?

2010 [05] Sylvester Stone (Stewart) of 1960s funk act Sly & The Family Stone sues former manager Jerry Goldstein for $50 million in what he claims are unpaid royalties

2010 [05] Roy Orbison (1936-88) is awarded a star posthumously on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

2010 [05] Protect Our Children distributes flyers around Miami FL protesting The Who’s upcoming appearance in the Super Bowl halftime show (guitarist Pete Townshend had been charged with viewing online child porn in 2003, but charges were later dropped)

1936 [79] 1st members of Baseball Hall of Fame announced in Cooperstown NY: Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner, Christy Matthewson, and Walter Johnson

1963 [52] 1st members of NFL Hall of Fame announced in Canton OH, including Jim Thorpe, Red Grange, and George Halas

1995 [20] San Francisco 49ers become1st NFL team to win 5 Super Bowls, by defeating San Diego Chargers 49-26 (Pittsburgh Steelers now have the most with 6)

[Fri] “Black or White”; “The Loft”; “Project Almanac” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “Backstreet Boys: Show ‘Em What You’re Made Of” debuts (VH1)
[Fri] Inane Answering Message Day
[Fri] Pre-School Fitness Day
[Sat] Inspire Your Heart with Art Day
[Sat] Seed Swap Day
[Sat] Street Children Day
This Week Is … Meat Week
This Month Is … Oatmeal Month


No longer “All About That Bass”, you’re all about …
• That bursitis.
• That orthopedic insert.
• That Cabernet.
• That tax exemption.
• That pesky 20 lbs.
• That commuter train schedule.
• That cholesterol.
• That Just For Men.
• That goddamn promotion already.
• That treble.

You have what’s called ‘Diastima’. What the heck is it?
a. An eyelid twitch.
b. A gap between your front teeth. [CORRECT]
c. Webbed toes.

When I saw my first strands of grey hair, I thought I’d dye.

☎ Finish this sentence: “I like my men/women the way I like my …
✓ Books – Novel. Unpredictable. With a spine.
✓ Keyboard – Silent type. Writes letters. Gives me space.
✓ Salads – Wholesome. Well-dressed. Will lettuce be happy together.
– Thanks to Sara Runnels

Question: We do THIS mostly in our 20s, then less and less as we get older.
Answer: Order pizza.

Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s Edition of “BS”!

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