Monday, January 29, 2018        Edition: #6145

We Give a Sheet!

★ Hip-hop star Missy Elliott has been giving Morgan Freeman rap lessons!  It’s all for an upcoming Super Bowl commercial. Elliot and Busta Rhymes will both be featured in the new ad for Doritos and Mountain Dew, in which they take on roles as coaches for a rap battle. Missy tutors Freeman on how to rap the ‘Peter Piper’ tongue-twister, while Busta helps to whip ‘Game of Thrones’ actor Peter Dinklage into shape with the ‘How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck’ rhyme.
★ Jennifer Lawrence surprised high school students in Ohio by taking part in one of their political debates on Thursday. After she took part in a lively debate, students said they were impressed with her dedication to teaching youngsters the importance of political issues.  Lawrence has previously expressed her interest in politics, and took part in the Women’s March earlier this month.
★ Steven Spielberg is the brains behind a revamp of the iconic musical ‘West Side Story’ that’ll be free from cultural appropriation.  A casting call was sent out to talent agents on Friday confirming earlier rumors – and it appears as though the movie will stay true to its strong Latin American roots. “Tony is Caucasian. Maria and Anita are Latina. Bernardo is Latino,” reads a copy of the casting call posted to Twitter.  The movie remake of West Side Story is likely to be released in 2121, 60 years after the original, which was itself a film version of the 1957 Broadway musical.
★ Former NFL quarterback Brett Favre is being sued for allegedly helping to conspire with other business partners to fraudulently induce an investor to put $16 million into a sports social media network that never took off.  Court documents describe Sqor as a social network that was planned as a way to connect fans to their favorite professional athletes. The athletes would have their other social media account posts compiled onto their Sqor profile.  Favre allegedly received money, athlete payments and private jet costs, among other things.
★ Maisie Williams, who plays Ayra Stark on ‘Game of Thrones’ has confirmed that the show will return in April 2019 for its eighth and final season. She said, ”There’s a lot that goes into the final edit. You would not want to rush this season at all. We owe it to our audience and our fans to really do this final season to the best of our abilities.” Emilia Clarke recently revealed that she and the rest of the cast have been banned from posting any sneak peeks from the set on social media.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Chadwick Boseman, Dave Salmoni, ZZ Ward featuring Fitz
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dakota Johnson, Lester Holt, Jason Aldean
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Julie Chen, Joel Kinnaman, Talib Kweli featuring BJ the Chicago Kid
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Gov. John Kasich, Darren Criss, Kimbra, Nikki Glaspie
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Lily Tomlin
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kristen Doute, Quad Webb-Lunceford
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, guest co-host Ana Navarro
• “The Talk” (CBS): Cameron Mathison, guest co-host Toni Braxton
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Cat Deeley, Joel Kinnaman
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Megan Mullally, Thalys train-attack heroes Alek Skarlatos, Anthony Sadler & Spencer Stone
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Chelsea receives the first one-on-one date in Ft. Lauderdale. Arie swoops in to take her on a 100-foot luxury yacht, but her checkered past may endanger her getting a rose.
• “May It Last: A Portrait of the Avett Brothers” (HBO): A look at the career of acclaimed indie-folk band the Avett Brothers. While recording their album “True Sadness,” brothers Scott and Seth Avett and their bandmates reflect on their rise to success and the struggles they’ve faced.

• Ed Sheeran – A newspaper in Iceland published an obituary for an 82-year-old man but the notice featured a photo of Sheeran.  The mix-up was first spotted by an amused fan, who shared the page on Twitter. (Not ‘Perfect’!)
• Calvin Harris – his Las Vegas residency has been extended by two years.  He’ll be performing at Sin City’s OMNIA club through to 2020.
• Jack Antonoff – leapt to the defence of Lorde after she was heckled by a fan who objected to her decision to cancel a concert in Israel. Midway through Lorde’s set, a heckler shouted, “In Israel, they’re nice too!”, referencing her controversial decision to cancel a gig there after coming under pressure from anti-Israel activists.  Lorde and Antonoff were performing together and are rumored to be romantically involved.
• Celine Dion – has shared a pic of herself with Adele from one of her Vegas shows earlier this month. She reports she is “doing much better now” after having to cancel a number of shows on doctor’s orders.  She wrote: “Wasn’t able to do all my shows, but was thrilled that Adele came to one of them… I love her so much!!”
• Jon Bon Jovi – is getting into the wine business.  He and his son Jesse Bongiovi have teamed with French winemaker Gerard Bertrand to launch a new rosé called ‘Diving into Hampton’, expected to launch in the spring and sell for US $25.
• Van Halen – Eddie Van Halen has launched legal action against a filmmaker who was hired to shoot a documentary about Van Halen in 2006. The project was abandoned when Eddie didn’t like the results, but he accuses videographer Andrew Bennett of trying to release the material without permission.  This is not related to the Van Halen doc which has been reported on in the last month.
• Fleetwood Mac – received MusiCares Person of the Year Award at New York’s Radio City Music Hall Friday night. The evening featured performances by them and many younger artists that have been inspired by their catalog.
• Tom Petty – Stevie Nicks paid tribute to him at the MusiCares ceremony, saying in her speech that, “He did the MusiCares thing last year … And he spent a lot of time after that night talking to me about how important it was to him.”  Nicks said that she will “never get over” Petty’s death.
• Keith Urban – was among the country artists performing in tribute to Fleetwood Mac at the MusiCares Person of the Year ceremony on Friday night.  Urban sang ‘Second Hand News’.  Little Big Town played ‘Dreams’, while the Zac Brown Band wound up the tribute with ‘Don’t Stop’.
• Trace Adkins – will join Team Blake as an advisor on ‘The Voice’.  Adkins and Shelton will also be on the road together this spring for Shelton’s ‘Country Music Freaks Tour’. The Voice Season 14 premieres on Feb. 26.
• Reba McEntire – is the latest KFC celebrity Colonel Sanders.  The new TV spot features Colonel Reba singing in a rowdy honky tonk, while the “real” Reba is in the audience.

You know that nasty cold that it seems like you’ve been fighting with since the first frost?  The one that has caused you to use up most of your annual sick days before the end of January?  The problem just might be your winter coat….and the rest of your outdoor wear.  Charles Gerba, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona, says that you should clean any clothing that you wear in public at least once per week.  Gloves, scarves, coats, and boots are all hotbeds for germs.  Not only can these articles harbor bacteria and viruses, but they can also be a mode for transmission and infection….even back to yourself.  Experts recommend these tips when it comes to washing your winter  wear:
• Gloves: wash them in hot water.  If shrinkage is a concern, just put them in the dryer on high heat once per week.
• Coat: wash it a few times per season, and definitely before you store it in spring.
• Scarf: wash it once per week.  If children are sharing them, wash them every day.
• Boots: clean the bottom with an antiseptic wipe at least once a week.
(I guess there’s no need to clean your hat.  Unless you blow your nose into it!)
(Yeah, and I really feel like doing laundry when I’m SICK!)
(I haven’t washed my winter coat since it was in style!)

Scientists in Japan have created bananas with edible peels.  Even if you’ve never really had the desire to eat a banana peel, you’ve got to admit, THAT’S pretty awesome!  The new fruit is called “The Mongee,” which is Japanese slang for “incredible”.  The fruit is grown using an extreme freezing and thawing process. Normal bananas are grown at around 80 degrees Fahrenheit, but Mongees are kept at negative 76 degrees. They’re then thawed and replanted, which allows for rapid growth and creates a thin peel that has the texture of lettuce.  How does it taste?  The skin is said to have a very strong tropical flavor like a pineapple, and lacks the bitterness of a typical banana peel.  Mass production is still a problem.  Costs are so high for the mongee that the few that go on sale in Japan retail for US $5.75….apiece.  Actually that might be where they got the name…incredible!
(Sounds a ‘peel’ing.)
(Now what am I going to use to make people wipe out when they’re chasing me?)
(They should do that with apples.  Wait.  Never mind.)

A man in Berlin, Germany has started what is his country’s first couch potato club.  Torben Bertram started the ‘Sofa Sports Association’ because he was fed up with friends and colleagues who kept pressuring him to join them at workout sessions.  His new club is proudly geared toward the non-vegan, non-overachieving, non-career-obsessed majority.  What happens at a Sofa Sports Association meeting?  Swaying back and forth with drinks raised, the ‘Tarzan yell’, and the potato chip eating competition, which involves eating a cup full of chips without using your hands.  The kids apparently love that one.
(That’s a great idea…I’d start one here if I could get my butt off the couch to do it!)
(That’s it.  Get the kids involved in an activity early, and they’ll participate for life!)
(Maybe if that many people are pressuring you to work out, you should take the hint!)

…according to the Oxford English Dictionary…
➠ Shapewear: girdles-out, shapewear-in
➠ Nip and Tuck: or as Hollywood-types call it: “This month’s appointment”.
➠ Party Animal: thank Bill Murray and SNL for this one.
➠ Brewski: also Bill Murray.  Also SNL
➠ Microwaveable: so before ’78, EVERYTHING was microwaveable?
➠ No-Name: loved those all-yellow packages, too!
➠ A-lister: believe it or not, originally, it was used to refer to what KISS fans are NOT!
➠ @ for at: sometimes called asperand, ampersat and strudel, it was first referred to as ‘at’ in 1978.
➠ Street Credibility: Later it was shortened to ‘street cred’, which definitely has more street cred.
➠ Wedgie: If you don’t know what it is, consider yourself fortunate!
(also turning 40…my bedroom in my parents basement…)
-condensed from MentalFloss


1945 [73] Tom Selleck, Detroit MI, TV actor (‘Frank Reagan’ on “Blue Bloods” since 2010, “Magnum, P.I.” 1980-86)/movie actor (“Three Men & a Baby”)

1954 [64] Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko MS, TV network mogul (OWN)/TV talk show host (“Oprah” 1986-2011)/movie producer-actress (“Selma”)/magazine publisher (“O”)/“Queen of All Media”

1968 [50] Ed Burns, Queens NY, movie actor (“Saving Private Ryan”)/movie producer-director (“She’s the One”)

1970 [48] Heather Graham, Milwaukee WI, movie actress (“The Hangover” movies, “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”) COMING UP… “Half Magic”, 2018

1975 [43] Sara Gilbert, Santa Monica CA, TV personality (“The Talk” since 2010)/TV actress (“Big Bang Theory” 2007-10, “Roseanne” 1988-97) COMING UP…”Rosanne”, 2018

1982 [36] Adam Lambert, Indianapolis IN, pop singer (‘Whataya Want from Me’)/2009 “American Idol” runner-up/“Queen + Adam Lambert” singer

1983 [35] Eric Paslay, Abilene TX, country singer (‘She Don’t Love You’, ‘Friday Night’)

• “Corn Chip Day”.  The corn chip is made from cornmeal which is baked or fried in oil.  Although it originated in Mexico, the US patent was granted in 1932.  (***Ask listeners to put a half-dozen in their mouth and whistle a tune***)

• “Curmudgeons Day”, an annual celebration of the crusty, yet insightful, wags who consistently apply the needle of truth to the balloons of hypocrisy and social norms. Always celebrated on the birthday of late comedian WC Fields, one of the all-time most beloved curmudgeons.

• “Guide Dog Day”, commemorating ‘The Seeing Eye’, North America’s first guide dog school which opened in Nashville, Tennessee on this date in 1929. The name is trademarked.

• “Puzzle Day”, celebrating one of our all-time favorite pastimes. What’s your favorite: Jigsaw or Crossword?

• “Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the last Monday of January to celebrate the padding we all like to pop.
Don’t have any addictive bubble wrap with you? Try some virtual popping here …
Or play music on this bubble wrap keyboard …

• “Free Thinker’s Day”, celebrating the fact that everyone has the right to agree with what you think.

[Tues] Croissant Day
[Tues] Yodel for Your Neighbors Day
[Wed] Supermoon/Blue Moon
[Wed] Backwards Day
[Wed] Eat Brussel Sprouts Day
This Week Is…National Irish Coffee Week
This Month Is…National Soup Month

2009 [09] Kelly Clarkson makes the largest leap to date in ‘Billboard Hot 100  chart history, rising 96 places to #1 with “My Life Would Suck Without You”

2014 [04] Over 100,000 Americans sign a petition to deport Canadian citizen Justin Bieber out of the USA after his arrest for DUI and driving without a valid license (doesn’t happen)

1936 [82] 1st members of Baseball Hall of Fame announced in Cooperstown NY: Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner, Christy Matthewson, and Walter Johnson

1963 [55] 1st members of NFL Hall of Fame announced in Canton OH, including Jim Thorpe, Red Grange, and George Halas


✓ An elephant tooth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
✓ The smell of skunk can be detected by a human a mile away.
✓ Killer whales are not whales at all.  They are a species of dolphin.
✓ A black panther is really a black leopard or jaguar.
✓ A herd of 60 cows can produce a ton of milk in a day.
✓ In the Caribbean, there are oysters that can climb trees.

• You may not have succeeded, but you were at the top of the list of those that failed.
• You may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but you’re still a tool.
• The ground’s the limit.
• If a door closes…open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.
• Don’t walk before me for I will not follow.  Don’t walk behind me for I will not lead.  Just stay 100 yards away from me The restraining order is very specific.
• Be yourself. Nobody else wants to be you.
• Go ahead. Have the piece of cake. You’re gonna be fat either way.
• Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after that.
• Creativity is contagious, pass it on. Once you have some.
• I have a dream. Then I wake up, use the bathroom, and go back to bed.

• ‘Black(ish) Tie’
• ‘Camo Casual’
• ‘Hats Only’
• ‘Gender Optional’
• ‘Divorce Settlement Chic’
• ‘Fifty & Frumpy’
• ‘Creative Mocktail’
• ‘Zombie Fabulous’
• ‘Nip Slip Formal’
• ‘Smart Funeral’
– First published in BS in 2016

Nudists must find it very difficult to clean their glasses.

☎ What is the greatest comeback that you’ve ever come up with?

Question:  These animals injure zookeepers more than any other. What are they?
Answer:  Zebras

If you wish to be out front, then act as if you are behind.

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