Tuesday, January 3, 2012 Edition: #4660
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“Grey’s Anatomy” star Eric Dane (‘McSteamy’) & wife Rebecca Gayheart have become 2nd-time parents, welcoming a daughter named Georgia Geraldine, a little sister for 2-year-old Billie Beatrice (clearly they use the ‘Big Book of Alliterative Names’) . . . Filmmaker Clint Eastwood (“J Edgar”) has reportedly become so obsessed with a squirrel on the Warner Bros lot in Los Angeles that he insists his office door be left open when he’s working so that ‘Lola’ (as he calls her) can stop by whenever she wants (guess who’s a dotty 81-year-old?) . . . Movie actress Helena Bonham-Carter (“The King’s Speech”) is among those on the UK’s ‘New Year’s Honours List’, becoming a ‘Commander Of the Order Of the British Empire’ (she doesn’t really get to command anything, but then there’s no longer an empire either) . . . NY Yankees star Derek Jeter & actress Minka Kelly (“Friday Night Lights”), who broke up last August, have reportedly reconciled by spending time together in Paris for the last several days (apparently he’s batting 1,000) . . . “Two-and-a-Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre & Emmanuelle Vaugier, a former actress on the show, have ended their 2-year relationship (we keep telling you, never dip your pen in company ink!) . . . The Wrap.com reports that famous person Kim Kardashian received a whopping $600,000 simply for making ‘a series of appearances’ on New Year’s Eve at Vegas nightclub TAO, inside the Venetian resort (wow, tough gig!) . . . And meantime, Kardashian has tweeted that her New Year’s resolution is “I wanna be more simple in 2012” (hon’, we’re not sure that’s possible).
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Everlast (“Songs Of the Ungrateful Living”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – John Lydon (Britain’s legendary Sex Pistols).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Mariachi El Bronx (“Mariachi El Bronx II”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Horrors (“Skying”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Talib Kweli & Mos Def (“Black Star”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Guided By Voices (“Let’s Go Eat the Factory”).
• “The Rosie Show” (OWN) – Lionel Richie’s 1970s R&B act The Commodores.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – will.i.am (“#willpower”, coming in February).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Joey McIntyre (New Kids On the Block). Rerun.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Several sources say she’s become a first-time mother after delivering a baby girl named Tiana May Carter at NYC’s St Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital on Friday, but the notoriously private pop star has yet to issue an official statement.
• Britney Spears – The 30-year-old says she’s become a total health nut, working out 3 times a week, going to bed early, and drinking lots of water to stay hydrated.
• Elvis Presley – Today two of his 1971 albums, “Elvis Country” and “Love Letters From Elvis”, are being reissued in a deluxe 2-disc set titled “Elvis Country: Legacy Edition”. Several bonus tracks are included.
• Katy Perry – “The Sun” reports she’s hardly speaking to anyone since she heard hubby Russell Brand was filing for a divorce, but she did call her pal Rihanna for support.
• Montgomery Gentry – They’re teaming with the Professional Championship Bullriders during its 2012 tour that features top riders competing on the backs of bucking bulls. Once the dust has settled, fans will have the added bonus of a Montgomery Gentry concert.
• Taylor Swift – She had the top grossing country tour of 2011 in North America, selling almost $100-million-worth of tickets for her “Speak Now” shows.
• Usher – He’s filed legal documents asking a judge to dismiss ex-wife Tameka Raymond’s demand for full custody of their 2 kids. She’s also demanding an increase in her child support payments. A court date on the matter has been set for February 27th.
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Contagion” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, and Jude Law star in this Steven Soderbergh thriller about a team of doctors dispatched by the Centers for Disease Control to stop an airborne virus. Co-stars Gwyneth Paltrow, Laurence Fishburne.
• “Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): A young girl (Bailee Madison) sent to live with her father (Guy Pearce) and his new girlfriend (Katie Holmes) discovers creatures in her new home who want to claim her as one of their own. Shot in Melbourne, Australia.
• “The Guard” ( NR Dramedy ): Brendan Gleeson (“Harry Potter” series) stars as an unorthodox Irish policeman who joins forces with a straitlaced FBI agent, played by Don Cheadle (“Iron Man 2”), to take on an international drug-smuggling gang.
• “I Don’t Know How She Does It” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Sarah Jessica Parker plays a financial executive who juggles a busy schedule that includes being a mother of 2, a wife, and the breadwinner for her family. Co-stars Greg Kinnear, Pierce Brosnan, Kelsey Grammar.
• “Shark Night 3-D” ( PG-13 Thriller ): A Summer weekend turns into a blood-soaked nightmare for a group of college students trapped on an island surrounded by voracious underwater predators. Cast includes Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, and Katharine McPhee.
• Also released today: “Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Season 5” (Classic TV); “Back Door Channel: 1979 Camp David Peace Accord” (Documentary); “Chris Isaak: Live/Greatest Hits Live” (Music); “Justified: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “Ringo Starr & The Roundheads Live” (Music); “Sesame Street: Iron Monster & Sesame Heroes” (Family); “Swastika” (War Documentary); “Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers: Live” (Music).
HOW HAPPY ARE YA?
Top countries for happiness, ranked on a scale of 1-to-100, according to the first annual ‘Global Happiness Poll’ assembled from surveys of people in 58 countries …
5. Ghana (72)
4. Switzerland (76)
3. Netherlands (77)
2. Nigeria (84)
1. Fiji (85)
Other findings of note …
• Romania is rock bottom as the only country to come out of the survey with a negative score on the happiness index.
• Afghanistan scores 35% on the net happiness scale, versus 33% for the USA.
• Globally, the middle-aged (51-to-65) have a net happiness score of 33%, compared with 44% for the under-30 set and 43% for the over-65s.
• Canada ranks 23rd, likely due in part to a whopping 28% who say they’re ‘neither happy nor unhappy’.
– Leger Marketing
NEW YEAR, NEW START:
In the fitness industry they call this ‘Black January’, because joining a gym is the most popular New Year’s resolution. This month gyms are bracing themselves for an onslaught of new recruits, eager to fulfill a promise to get fit. The $2 billion-a-year fitness industry witnesses its biggest cash infusion of the year in January. But here’s the truth about the results of all our good intentions: By February, around 30% of these enthusiasts won’t even manage 1 weekly visit to the gym and, within a year, 40% will have ditched their gym membership altogether.
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 60% of us admit that we have yelled at a computer.
• 47% of poll respondents say ‘losing weight’ is their New Year’s resolution; 2% say it’s ‘volunteering’.
• 40% of videogamers are now women.
• 39% of Facebook users say they would ‘unfriend’ someone if they tried to sell them something.
• 9% of men got socks for Christmas.
• 2% of us lost our keys over the New Year’s holiday.
Michigan’s Lake Superior State University has released its annual ‘List of Words to Be Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness’. The 2012 list, compiled from nominations submitted from around-the-world, includes these terms …
• ‘Amazing’ (because most things described that way aren’t).
• ‘Baby Bump’ (pregnancy reduced to a celebrity accessory).
• ‘Ginormous’ (try this as an alternative – ‘big’).
• ‘Man Cave’ (not all men are cavemen, despite what home design shows might think).
• ‘Occupy’ (from Wall Street origins to overuse in almost any kind of context).
• ‘Pet Parent’ (you can’t parent another species and pet ‘ownership’ is not akin to slavery).
• ‘Shared Sacrifice’ (something politicians ask of us that they aren’t prepared to do themselves).
• ‘Thank-you in Advance’ (since you’ve already been thanked, you’re now obligated to do this for me).
– Adapted from AP
BS BY THE NUMBERS:
• During the first hour after internalizing cocaine, the average user’s risk of heart attack increases by a factor of 24.
– American Heart Association
• Almost a quarter of the European Union’s 500 million people have NEVER used the Internet. In general, those in the northwest (ie: UK, the Netherlands) tend to be connected; those in the southeast not (Bulgaria, Romania, etc).
• Amongst the American equipment too worn or too expensive to ship home when US troops left Iraq: 89,000 air conditioners worth $18.5 million, and 900 pickup trucks, vans, and SUVs … all with the keys in the ignition.
THE BULL SHEET 01.03.12
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956  Mel (Columcille Gerard) Gibson, Peekskill NY, movie producer/director (“Apocalypto”, “The Passion Of the Christ”)/movie actor (“Signs”, “Lethal Weapon” series)
1981  Eli Manning, New Orleans LA, NFL QB (2008 Super Bowl MVP-NY Giants)/brother of Indianapolis Colt QB Peyton Manning/son of NFL veteran Archie Manning
1986  Nash Overstreet, Nashville TN, pop-rock guitarist-vocalist (Hot Chelle Rae-“Tonight Tonight”)/son of country music singer-songwriter Paul Overstreet/brother of actor Chord Overstreet (“Glee”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Covered Cherry Day”. Just what you need … an excuse to pork on yet another pound!.
• “Drinking Straw Day”, celebrating its invention on this date in 1888. Drinking straws were hand-rolled until 1905. How’d kids blow bubbles in their milk before they were invented?
• “Earth at Perihelion” occurs, Earth’s closest approach to the Sun in 2012.
• “Fruitcake Toss Day”, your opportunity to finally throw away the old fruitcake. After the holidays are over, it’s time to bring in the new, and toss out the old. Today is the day that the fruitcake goes. Make it into a real event … go for distance!
• “JRR Tolkien’s Birthday” (1892-1973), the 120th anniversary of his birth in Bloemfontein, South Africa. The Oxford University professor of English Language & Literature first published “The Hobbit” in 1937, and the “Lord Of the Rings” trilogy in 1954-55 … for which his heirs should now be extremely grateful!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1992  The “Miss Canada Pageant” is scrapped, apparently due to lack of interest and a backlash against the exploitation of women
2004  Britney Spears weds hometown pal Jason Alexander at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas and then, 55 hours later, has the union annulled
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1987  Aretha Franklin becomes the 1st female solo artist inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1977  Apple Computer is officially incorporated (originally established April 1, 1976 by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne to sell the ‘Apple I’ personal computer kit)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992  Bernard Moeller of Pennsylvania gets his 14,000th tattoo, leading to a listing in the “Guinness Book of World Records” as ‘Person With the Most Individual Tattoo Designs’
COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Pop Music Chart Day
[Wed] Trivia Day
[Wed] World Braille Day
[Wed] World Hypnotism Day
[Thurs] “Jersey Shore” 5th season debut (MTV)
[Fri] “The Devil Inside” opens in movie theaters
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Celebration of Life Week / Diet Resolution Week / Lose Weight, Feel Great Week / New Year’s Resolutions Week / Someday We’ll Laugh About This Week
LAME BS NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS:
• I resolve to work with neglected children … my own.
• No more cigars in the shower.
• I will read the manual … just as soon as I can find it.
• Have an applause sign installed in my bedroom
• I resolve to balance my checkbook at least once per week … on my nose.
• I will think of a password other than ‘password’.
• Learn to teeterboard nude.
• Breakfast, lunch, and dinner … cheese-filled weenies!
– Adapted from Joke-Archives.com
BS PHONE STARTER:
They say opposites attract. What differences attract you and why?
BS SIGNS YOU’VE JOINED A BAD HEALTH CLUB:
• Front door has a slot in it that’s slid open to verify membership.
• McDonald’s kiosk located between aerobics area and free weights.
• There’s a security guard for the sauna.
• Personal trainer says, “Okay, time to practice your grunts.”
• The plush carpet in the locker room turns out to be really bad shower mold.
• Walking to the workout area, you pass several memorial plaques on the wall.
• Another member asks, “Hey, you mind spotting me? I’m gonna take a shower.”
– Adapted from TheFunnyBone.com
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
The city of Yerba Buena officially changed its name 165 years ago today (1847). What do we now call it?
a. Cape Town.
b. San Francisco. [CORRECT. Can you imagine the Yerba Buena 49ers?]
c. North Yerba Buena.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Recent studies have shown that people do better on tests if they have THIS.
Answer: A common cold.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A penny saved is a penny.