January 30, 2014

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Thursday, January 30, 2014          Edition #5149

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ Today 68-year-old Brit actress Helen Mirren is feted as ‘Woman Of the Year’ by Harvard University’s Hasty Pudding Theatricals, an undergraduate drama society that dates back to the 18th century. Mirren is being honored for ‘international critical acclaim’ at a ceremony on the Cambridge MA campus. Neil Patrick Harris is 2014 ‘Man Of the Year’. He’ll be given his pudding pot following a comedy roast and parade through Harvard Square on February 7th. (‘Hasty pudding’ is a porridge cooked in milk. It’s mentioned in the old song “Yankee Doodle”.)
– UPI.com
★ Bald-headed private investigator ‘Mike Ehrmantraut’ may have be been killed off on “Breaking Bad” but he’ll rise from the dead this Fall on AMC. Actor Jonathan Banks has signed to star opposite Bob Odenkirk in “Better Call Saul”, the upcoming prequel to the Emmy-winning show. The followup will focus on Odenkirk’s slick criminal lawyer character, ‘Saul Goodman’, in the days before he became legal counsel to meth kingpin ‘Walter White’. Banks will reprise his role as ‘Ehrmantraut’, the grim ‘fixer’ the attorney employs. (Hurray! One of the best-ever TV characters ever is back.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/lu4wbcu
– TheGlobeandMail.com
★ Is Russia ready for the Kardashians and Joan Rivers? NBC Universal has announced it will launch E! Entertainment Television in Russia and the Commonwealth of Independent States this Summer. The programming lineup will include the latest seasons of the reality series “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and the Rivers-hosted “Fashion Police”, along with new E! arrivals such as “Rich Kids of Beverly Hills”. (Perhaps President Putin could ask comrade Kim to drop by … then keep her there?)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ And hitting a high C is hard enough without worrying about … passing gas. An opera singer in Nashville TN is suing over that very dilemma. Amy Herbst, a mezzo-soprano, claims she was doing fine until a nurse at a US Army hospital in Fort Campbell KY screwed up her childbirth operation in 2012. It’s alleged that damage to Herbst’s reproductive and digestive system when her son was born has left her incontinent, flatulent, and unable to continue her singing career. (She’s also getting far fewer dinner invitations.)
– Newser.com

• AACTA Awards (Sydney) – Baz Luhrmann’s “The Great Gatsby” leads nominations for tonight’s Australian Academy of Cinema & Television Arts Awards with a total of 14, followed by low-budget Aussie movie “The Rocket” with 12.
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV2) – Hopefuls audition in Omaha NE.
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Vanessa Hudgens (“Identified”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Fitz & The Tantrums (“More Than Just a Dream”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Sara Bareilles (“The Blessed Unrest”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – K Flay (“Little Bit Crazy”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – ZZ Ward (“Til the Casket Drops”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Classic rocker David Crosby.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Dum Dum Girls (“Too True”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Barry Gibb (Bee Gees).
• “Saturday Night Live Presents an SNL Sports Spectacular” (NBC/Global) – Seth Meyers hosts fan favorite sports-themed sketches from past seasons.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) –  Miley Cyrus (“Bangerz”); Sarah McLachlan (“Shine On”).

• Arctic Monkeys – Tonight they kick off a brief North American tour in Miami FL that runs through February 14th in Minneapolis MN.
• Lorde – After arriving home in Auckland NZ, the Grammy-winning pop star has fired off a series of tweets saying that ‘the price-tag of fame sucks’ and that she bemoans the ‘lecherous gaze’ of the music industry. Wow, 17 and already a cynic.
• Motley Crue – After more than 3 decades together, they’ve announced their 72-city “Final Tour”, beginning July 2nd in Grand Rapids MI. It will be followed by an overseas jaunt and then … retirement.
• Queen Latifah – She’s been enlisted to perform “America the Beautiful” during Sunday’s Super Bowl pre-game show at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey. This marks the 2nd time she’s sung the tune at the Super Bowl, initially performing to rapturous applause in 2010.
• Queens Of the Stone Age – Tonight in Raleigh NC they embark on a handful of new US tour dates that wrap up February 9th in Houston TX.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Get On Up” – This now-shooting bio-film chronicles soul singer James Brown’s rise from extreme poverty to become one of the most influential musicians in history. Chadwick Boseman stars as the ‘hardest working man in show business’. The film co-stars Nelsan Ellis, Viola Davis, and Dan Aykroyd as the late singer’s manager Ben Bart. The film’s due August 1st.
• “Pitch Perfect 2” – Actress Elizabeth Banks will make her directorial debut with this sequel to the 2012 surprise hit musical comedy that centered on a college a cappella group. Banks, who co-starred in and produced the original, is also returning in the same capacity for the follow-up. Original stars Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson are likely to return, according to insiders.
• “Ten Thousand Saints” – Emile Hirsch and Hailee Steinfeld have joined the cast of this ensemble drama based on the Eleanor Henderson novel set in NYC’s Lower East Side in the 1980s. It’s a coming-of-age story that follows 3 screwed-up young people and their equally screwed-up parents. The film began shooting this Monday with an eye to a 2015 premiere.
• Untitled King Arthur Movie Series – Filmmaker Guy Ritchie is considering a 6-movie fantasy series based on the legend of King Arthur, the 6th-century monarch who led the defence of Britain against Saxon invasion. Ritchie previously developed his own saga on the topic but eventually pulled the plug. Plot details about the new project are being kept under wraps.

Hot sauce is having more than just a moment; it’s having a decade. The North American hot sauce market has grown by 150% since 2000, which is more than BBQ sauce, ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard … combined. The fast-growing palate for hot sauce has a lot to do with the influx of Asians and Latinos, both of which traditionally have higher tolerance for spice. But hot sauce has also been riding on the coat-tails of hot wing sales. There’s been enormous growth in the popularity of wings, and Sriracha, Tabasco, and Frank’s Red Hot, in particular, have really benefitted from that. (What’s the weirdest thing you’ve put hot sauce on?)
– “Quartz”

NYC personal trainer Jason Rosell has combined his 2 favorite things – sex and exercise – in his new heart-pumping workout, “Sexercise”. His X-rated stamina- and muscle-building workout is described as part “Kama Sutra”, part “Fit for Life”. The 32-minute workout combines 3 rounds of 45-second cardio-based sexercises such ‘Caliente Squats’, ‘Leg Scissors’, and ‘Booty Pops’ designed to tone glutes, quads, and calves so couples can ‘keep going’ all night. (Or at least end up hot and sweaty.)
NET: http://jasonrosell.com
– “New York Daily News”

Reverend Bob Larson of the Spiritual Freedom Church in Scottsdale, Arizona is a self-proclaimed ‘real exorcist’ who is advertising a new way to have your demons cast out … via Skype. However, the International Catholic Association of Exorcists, an organization that trains and ordains exorcists, says online exorcisms simply won’t work. A traditional exorcism, they claim, requires a series of prayers, holy water, crucifixes, and personal touch. (If you’re not up for a Skype job, Larson’s online bookstore will sell you “Demon Proofing Prayers” for $14.99)
NET: https://www.boblarson.org/religious-skype-encounters
– Vocativ.com

According to the National Restaurant Association, bar/restaurant sales during the Super Bowl will be exceeded by takeout and/or delivery orders by a 4-1 ratio. The top 3 foods in Super Bowl-watching homes during the game are …
1. Salsas, dips or spreads.
2. Chicken wings.
3. Pizza.
About 1.25 billion – yes, billion – chicken wings will be chomped on this weekend, according to the National Chicken Council’s 2014 Wing Report. That’s about 20 million more wings than were eaten during last year’s game. The association says it’s the equivalent of piling 572 wings on every seat in every NFL stadium. And the favorite flavor? Buffalo-style. (The only Super Bowl winner to ever come from Buffalo.)
– “The Plain Dealer”

Got a big day ahead? You’re better off thinking you slept well, even if you didn’t. Colorado College researchers duped test subjects into believing sensors attached to their bodies were tracking their sleep quality. After a night’s sleep, some subjects were told they’d spent 16.2% of the night in REM sleep, the deepest stage of sleep. Others were informed they’d spent 28.7% of the night in REM. Even though it was all made up, subjects who thought they slept well did better on tests, while those told they slept poorly did worse. The researchers call this the ‘placebo sleep’ effect. (We call it lying.)
– TheAtlantic.com

• Isn’t it interesting that the 2 states that legalized pot (Colorado and Washington) are getting together for a ‘Super Bowl’.
– Bananatag.tumblr.com
• Almost one American child or teen per hour is injured by a firearm seriously enough to require hospitalization, a new analysis finds.
– “USA Today”
• “Sherlock Holmes” author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was one of the judges at the world’s first-ever bodybuilding contest.
– “Quite Interesting”


1951 [63] Phil Collins, London UK, 5’-5” classic rocker (“Another Day in Paradise”, “Genesis-“Invisible Touch”)

1974 [40] Christian Bale, Haverfordwest, Wales, movie actor (“American Hustle”, Oscar-“The Fighter”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘Moses’ in Ridley Scott’s biblical epic “Exodus”, opening December 12th.

1980 [34] Josh Kelley, Augusta GA, pop-country singer (“Only You”, “Amazing”)/brother of Lady Antebellum singer Charles Kelley/wed to actress Katherine Heigl since 2006

1984 [30] Kid Cudi (Scott Mescudi), Cleveland OH, rapper (“Day ‘n Nite”, w/Kanye West-“All Of the Lights”)

• “Croissant Day”, the first step of which is being able to say the French-derived word ‘croissant’. It’s not ‘CROY-sent’, it’s ‘cwah-SAHN’.
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-croissant-day

• “Inane Voicemail Message Day”, a time to change, shorten, replace, or delete that annoying voicemail message … which you likely recorded on Day One and then never altered.
NET: http://www.wellcat.com/january/national_inane_answering_message.htm

• “Kazoo Day”, celebrated annually on the last Thursday of January. The simple-to-play musical instrument first went into commercial production in 1912. Hear a really bad kazoo band here …
NET: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM2vyf0hy40

• “World Law Day”, established in 1922 to celebrate the rules society lives by, no matter how weird, as seen here …
• In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house without your underwear on.
• In Israel, you could be prosecuted for picking your nose on Sunday.
• In France, it’s illegal to name a pig ‘Napoleon’.
• In Australia, it’s illegal to name any animal you plan to eat.
• In Italy, anyone considered obese is forbidden from wearing polyester.
• In Barbados it is illegal to wear camouflage clothing.
• In Portugal, it’s against the law to pee in the ocean.
• In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your wife’s birthday.
• In England, it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
– List25.com

• “Yodel For Your Neighbors Day”, a day to add some frivolity to your neighborhood by warming up the ol’ vocal cords … outdoors. (Followed by ‘Getting Tomato-ed by Your Neighbors Day’.)

1969 [45] The Beatles make their last public appearance together, an impromptu performance on the roof of Apple Records in London

1996 [18] Michael Jackson’s unauthorized biographer, Randy Taraborrelli, claims the ‘King of Pop’ paid Lisa Marie Presley $15 million to marry him for 1 year (Jackson’s attorney denies there was any such deal)

1958 [56] 1st ‘Moving Sidewalk’ (1,435-ft-long walkway at Love Field, Dallas TX)

1994 [20] Buffalo Bills lose a 4th consecutive Super Bowl and a 2nd consecutive to Dallas Cowboys (30-13) in Super Bowl 28 (Atlanta GA)

[Fri] “Labor Day”; “That Awkward Moment” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Chinese New Year
[Fri] Fun at Work Day
[Fri] Inspire Your Heart With Art Day
[Fri] Preschool Fitness Day
This Week Is … International Hoof Care Week
This Month Is … Be Kind to Food Servers Month


This week Queen Elizabeth’s staff has been urged to tighten the royal belt as the Queen’s household overspent her annual budget of $51 million by about $3.8 million last year. So here’s a look at …
● Annual vibrator repair budget exceeds the GNP of Norway.
● Gold & gem encrusted toilet for Charles may be only royal throne he ever sits upon.
● Balmoral Castle is where her nibs stores all the Amway stuff she wasn’t able to sell.
● Gets no royalty payments whatsoever from Mattel’s ‘Windsor Family Action Figures’.
● Spends 75% more on ‘dowdy’ hats than on ‘frumpy’ hats.

Which animal can grow a whole new set of teeth in about 1 week?
a. The shark. [CORRECT]
b. The wolf.
c. The beaver.
– “Disney Adventures”

When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas …

☎ Which TV character would you want to get drunk with?

Question: More than half of singles surveyed by Match.com say that doing THIS on a first date is a deal-breaker.
Answer: Asking to take a smoke break.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s “BS”!

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