Wednesday, January 31, 2018 – Edition: #6147

We’ve gone Bullistic!

★ Gordon Ramsay is a big, big deal in the culinary world, but he was a little too big for his wife. According to Ramsay, “Tana was not impressed with the way I was.  I look at the pictures and think, ‘How did Tana stay around?’ Because Tana has got better-looking and more gorgeous.” He’s now down 56 pounds, and he and his wife often compete in triathlons.
(Has his mouth gotten any smaller?)
★ Meghan Markle is literally living a real-life Cinderella story. But before she was engaged to Prince Harry, Markle did normal Hollywood actress things. And, in addition to her Hallmark movies, her stint on ‘Deal or No Deal’, and her now-defunct blog ‘The Tig’, Meghan was almost a lollipop-maker. That’s right, in 2012 Markle and a friend filed trademark paperwork for a company called “Lali.” Their mission: “to sell their own lollipops and drops.”
(Would that make her a lollipoper? A lollipopwoman?)
★ Nicole Kidman is a skilled woman, but her hidden talent is perhaps her most impressive, if surprising. Kidman revealed this week that she has a penchant for eating bugs. A video made for Vanity Fair shows Kher eating no less than four different types of “microlivestock”, which she describes as “moist” and “chewy”.  She enjoyed some hornworms, then some crickets, which she compares to a “hairy nut”.  Dessert? “Exquisite” fried grasshoppers.  In the video, she says, “Two billion people in the world eat bugs and I’m one of them,” before tucking into a plate of mealworms, highlighting their “fruity taste”.
★ The only actor who could possibly increase the star power of ‘Big Little Lies’ has signed on for season two. Oscar winner Meryl Streep will be joining the cast as Mary Louise Wright, Perry Wright’s mother, and she will arrive in Monterey out of concern for her grandchildren and to search for answers about her son’s death. Season 2 of Big Little Lies will premiere in 2019.
★There might not be a real ‘Friends’ reunion movie, but you soon might be able to enjoy a cup of coffee at a Central Perk near you. Warner Bros. Entertainment secured a copyright earlier this month to use the name Central Perk for “coffee shop and café services.” They also filed for the name to use on a number of other products — including toys, board games and slot machines — but those ones have yet to be approved. In 2016, a guy in Toronto tried to open a Central Perk parody café, but Warner Bros. lawyers shut it down.
(I’m surprised it took them this long…)
★ David Beckham – is launching a Major League soccer team in Miami, Florida. He says he’ll definitely be “spending a huge amount of time” in Miami to work with the team.  His family will remain in London so his children don’t have to change schools. Beckham and wife Victoria’s eldest child, 18-year-old Brooklyn, attends college in New York City, but 15-year-old Romeo, 12-year-old Cruz and 6-year-old Harper are still based in London.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jamie Dornan, Danai Gurira, Russell Dickerson
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tom Selleck, Rita Ora, Liam Payne
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rose McGowan, Sen. Rand Paul, Jacob Williams, Curtis Harding
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Dakota Johnson, Taylor Kitsch, Maggie Haberman, Nikki Glaspie
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Martin Short, Lisa Kudrow, Fall Out Boy
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Tom Papa, Mt. Joy
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Sarah Jessica Parker
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Katie Lowes
• “The Talk” (CBS): Charlie Puth, guest co-host Shemar Moore, Stephanie Sigman
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Chrissy Teigen
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jamie Dornan, Troye Sivan
• “The Amazing Race 30” (CBS): “The Claws Are Out” The race continues in Prague, Czech Republic, where teams face a double U-turn and struggle to navigate the streets while delivering kegs to a local party.

• Cardi B – was ”a little bit happier” before she was famous. She says, “Even though I’m happy, I feel like I was a little bit happier two or three years ago when I had less money. I had less people who had opinions about my life. I felt like my life was mine. Now I feel like I don’t even own my life. I feel like the world owns me.”
• Meghan Trainor – told Jimmy Fallon that when her actor boyfriend Daryl Sabara popped the question, she ‘blacked out’.  Quote: “I was trying to Snapchat and he told me, ‘Can you put that away for a second.’ I lost my voice. I was screaming, ‘It’s happening, yes, it’s happening. I blacked out.”
• Prince – Estate advisor Troy Carter says that fans can look forward to some “mind blowing” previously unreleased music “coming soon”.
• Elton John – has vowed to end his career with ”flamboyant” outfits. He walked the red carpet at the Grammy Awards on Sunday in an eye-catching blue, gold and red sequined Gucci jacket, matching sparkly glasses and rainbow-colored rings spelling out his first name, and revealed the designers of that outfit will also be supplying his costumes for his upcoming ‘Farewell Yellow Brick Road’ final tour.
• Genesis – rumors of a reunion of their classic lineup are firing up again.  Keyboard player Tony Banks said in a recent interview that, “ “I don’t rule it out at all.  Mike (Rutherford) and I see each other all the time, we get on well, no problem. It’s never an impossibility.” The two haven’t played onstage with Phil Collins in over a decade.
• Steven Tyler – held his Inaugural Gala benefitting Janie’s Fund in Hollywood. Tyler launched the philanthropic initiative a couple years ago and named it after his famous 1989 hit, ‘Janie’s Got a Gun’, which deals with child abuse. Other celebs in attendance were Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde, Suzanne Somers, Terry Crews, Pete Wentz and Bo Derek.
• Tom Petty – An updated death certificate has been filed with the Los Angeles County of Public Health. Petty’s original death certificate listed the cause of death as deferred, but has now been updated to reflect that he died from “multisystem organ failure.” The document, also lists the myriad of drugs found in his system when he died.
• Jason Aldean – just released ‘You Make It Easy’, the first track from his upcoming album, ‘Rearview Town’, out April 13.
• Brett Young – The rising star was roasted on Twitter for his down-tempo, slowed-down version of ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ prior to the 2018 NHL All-Star Game on Sunday.
• Lady Antebellum – Hillary Scott’s twin girls are due any day now, which meant she couldn’t attend the Grammys.  But her bandmates made sure she wasn’t forgotten.  Charles Kelley and Dave Haywood spent the night carrying around a cardboard cutout of Scott’s face during the awards show, at one point Instagramming a pic of the pair enjoying a drink with their wives…and Hillary’s face.

Halftime show aside, the best part of the Super Bowl is often the commercials.  Well, here is one Super Bowl ad that you WON’T see.  In fact, only one guy will.  Mars, the maker of Skittles, claim that they have made the most exclusive Super Bowl ad ever, a commercial that one teenage Skittles fan – Marcos Menendez from Canoga Park, California—will see.  Why him?  An exhaustive search was conducted before they settled on Menendez, who might be most accurately described as a ‘Napoleon Dynamite’-type.  Although Super Bowl viewers won’t be able to see the commercial, we WILL be able to see his reaction via a livestream on Skittles’ Facebook page.  Skittles has been airing teaser ads leading up to the big event, including one featuring David Schwimmer.  No definitive word yet if Schwimmer is the BIG-name celeb who is supposedly featured in the exclusive ad.  Skittles claims not to have any plans to release the commercial after the Super Bowl.
(If they do this with the halftime show next year, I’m out!)
(Schwimmer is the BIG name celeb?  I think not!)

Elon Musk, the boss of Space-X and Tesla, among other things that make him way smarter and richer than I can ever hope to be, is now selling flamethrowers.  Yes.  Flamethrowers.  Musk had been teasing fans – claiming he would be selling 20,000 flamethrowers under the banner of his wacky side company, ‘Boring’, And on Saturday night he unveiled the weapon, which he claims is legal under ATF specifications, because it shoots flames less than ten feet.  The flamethrowers are hailed as “The World’s Safest” and can be pre-ordered for $600.  Musk claims they’re “great for roasting nuts.”  He’s also denying rumors that the flamethrowers are being produced in anticipation of him creating a zombie horde to battle in an apocalyptic war between mankind and the undead … just in case you were wondering.
(That’s ONE way to market your product!)
(Goes to show you.  You can be one of the most powerful men in the world, but really all you want to do is play with things that go boom!)
(I cannot wait to see the list of safety warnings that come with this thing!)

An Olympic gold medal sprinter has avoided suspension by claiming he failed a drug test because he ‘passionately kissed’ his girlfriend. Gil Roberts ran one of the four legs for the United States gold medal 4×400 relay team at the 2016 Rio Olympics.  In March, the 28-year-old Texas Tech grad tested positive for a drug called probenecid, a medicine primarily used to prevent gout.  But it can also be used to mask banned substances in one’s urine.  For that, he was suspended.
In July, the Anti-Doping Agency’s decision was reversed by an outside arbitrator, upholding Roberts’ defense that the banned substance got into his system from–yes, passionately kissing his girlfriend.  Last week, the Court of Arbitration for Sport denied the Anti-Doping Agency’s appeal, effectively reinstating the sprinter.  His classic quote:  “There could have been tongue kissing, but it was more that she kissed me so soon after taking the medicine.”  His girlfriend had been prescribed the drug after taking ill while in India.
(Thanks for the details, buddy, we never asked about the tongue…)

Today is deadline day for citizens of the UK to file their income tax returns. To encourage taxpayers to file their returns on time, Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs gave some examples of excuses for lateness it had received and rejected.  Among them:
✗ “My wife has been seeing aliens and won’t let me enter the house.”
✗ “My ex-wife left my tax return upstairs, but I suffer from vertigo and can’t go upstairs to retrieve it.”
✗ “My business doesn’t really do anything.”
✗ “I spilt coffee on it.”
The fine for a late return starts at £100.
(Which beats the heck out of having to walk past all those aliens to get it!)

And some rejected expense claims from last year?
✗ ‘A three-piece suite for my partner to sit on when I’m doing my accounts’
✗ ‘Birthday drinks at a Glasgow nightclub’
✗ ‘Vet fees for a rabbit’
✗ ‘Hotel room service – for candles and prosecco’
✗ ‘£4.50 for sausage and chips meal expenses for 250 days’
(250 days worth of sausage and chips?  Might as well put in a claim for some cholesterol-lowering drugs too!)


1947 [71] Jonathan Banks, Washington DC, TV actor (‘Mike Ehrmantraut’ on “Breaking Bad” 2009-2012, same character on “Better Call Saul” since 2015) COMING UP…”Redbad”, 2018

1956 [62] John Lydon (Johnny Rotten), London England, rock singer (Sex Pistols -‘God Save the Queen’, Anarchy in the U.K.’)

1970 [48] Minnie Driver, London England, movie actress (“Good Will Hunting”/TV actress (“Speechless” since 2016) COMING UP… “Spinning Man’, 2018

1973 [45] Portia DeRossi (Amanda Lee Rogers), Horsham, Australia, TV actress (“Arrested Development” 2003-06/2013, “Ally McBeal” 1998-2002)/Ellen DeGeneres’ partner since 2004

1977 [41] Kerry Washington, Bronx NY, TV actress (‘Olivia Pope’ on “Scandal” since 2012)/movie actress (“Django Unchained”, “Ray”)

1981 [37] Justin Timberlake, Memphis TN, pop singer (‘Can’t Stop the Feeling!’, ‘SexyBack’)/former boy-band singer (*NSYNC-‘Bye Bye Bye’)/movie actor (“The Social Network”) COMING UP… “2018 Super Bowl Halftime Show”

1987 [31] Marcus Mumford, Yorba Linda CA [raised London UK], folk rock singer-musician (Mumford & Sons-‘I Will Wait’, ‘Believe’)/wed to actress Carey Mulligan since 2012

1987 [31] Tyler Hubbard, Monroe GA, pop-country singer (Florida Georgia Line-‘Stay’, ‘Cruise’)

• “Bell Let’s Talk Day”, a Canada-wide initiative to help increase awareness, reduce stigma, and change behaviours and attitudes about mental health issues. WEB:

• “Backwards Day”, a day to relieve Winter blahs by doing everything backwards, ie: calling people by their last name, eating meals in reverse, (***signing off your show at the beginning***), etc.  (Not to be confused with ‘Opposite Day’, which we celebrated last week.  Actually…yes! It is very much to be confused with Opposite Day!)

• “Hell is Freezing Over Day”, a day to make a list of things you have said or thought in the past that you would never, ever do. Think about each one to see if you still feel the same way.   (***See BS Phone Starter, below***)

• “Hot Chocolate Day”, saluting the warm and creamy beverage we love to drink on a cold Winter’s day.

• “Inspire Your Heart With Art Day”, celebrating the effect it can have on your disposition. Look at a piece of art and ask yourself – What is telling me? How does it make me feel? What emotions is it evoking within me?  (What is that thing?)

• “Brandy Alexander Day”, saluting the classic dessert drink that combines brandy with dark crème de cacao in a silky blend often likened to an alcoholic milkshake.

2014 [04] With 755 million active users, Facebook increases its ad revenue by 76% year-over-year (As of late 2017, they counted active users at 2.07 billion)

1981 [37] ‘The Tide Is High’ by Blondie hits #1

2010 [08] The Record Academy honors Leonard Cohen with a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ at the 52nd Grammy Awards in Los Angeles

1990 [28] The first McDonalds in the Soviet Union opens in Moscow

2011 [07] A massive Winter storm hits North America for the 2nd time in the month, killing 24 people and causing $1.8 billion in damage across the US and Canada

2015 [03] New Zealand professional golfer Lydia Ko, age 17, becomes the youngest #1-ranked golfer in the world, beating the record set by Tiger Woods in 1997 at age 21


✓ Eating dark chocolate helps to reduce stress.
✓ Vodka works as a hair conditioner.
✓ Sri Lanka has a Ministry of Coconut Development
✓ The White House is worth about $995 million.
✓ Texting while driving increases the chances of a crash by 23 times.
✓ Before completing a to-do list, napping will help you achieve your goals.

• Hail Mary Poppins
• Off Side Story
• Beauty and the Beast-Mode
• My Fair Brady
• Jerry Rice Superstar
• Kicky Boots
• A Chorus Linebacker
• Annie Get Your Shotgun Formation
• Showboating in the End Zone
• Guys and Balls

An ego of creative directors.
A scribble of copywriters.
A scold of project managers.
A sharpie of art directors.
A scrum of developers.
An upvote of social media experts.
A checkbox of HR people.
A bootlick of account executives.
A nightmare of interns.
-First published in BS in 2015

Is it my imagination or was music better when ugly people were allowed to make it?

• What is the unit of currency in Russia?
a. Dinar
b. Euro
c. Ruble [CORRECT]
d. U.S. Dollar

• Cork is harvested from the bark of what tree?
a. Oak [CORRECT]
b. Sumach
c. Birch
d. Koala
– TriviaCrack

☎ What thing that you said you’d never do. . . have you done?

Question:  42% of adults say they spend more money on this in the month of January than in any other money.  What is it?
Answer:  Heat!

The greatest wealth is to be content with little.

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