BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
All paid-up subscribers have received account credits for missed service days during our holiday hiatus. If you’ve received a renewal notice, be sure to re-subscribe to ensure seamless service in 2016.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Pop culture predictions for 2016 …
• Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, still possessed by a feverish charitable urge, will announce he’s giving away 99% of his personal information.
• With the end of “American Idol”, Ryan Seacrest will become the first person to actually lose his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
• It will be revealed that the album “25” does not refer to Adele’s age at all, but to the number of hours per day the songs are running through our heads in an endless earworm.
• Johnny Depp’s wife Amber Heard will be found guilty of smuggling the couple’s teacup terriers into Australia. The judge will rule that if Depp stops making “Pirates Of the Caribbean” movies, her sentence will be reduced to dog years.
• The world’s most popular recording artists will launch a strike against Spotify, and will win a royalty increase that finally gives them parity with Uber drivers.
– Adapted from Postmedia Network
★ 67-year-old “Game of Thrones” author George RR Martin admits on his blog that he’s missed the December 31st deadline to finish “The Winds of Winter”, the 6th book in his popular fantasy series. That means the next HBO season based on the books will start airing in April, before the novel is published. With hundreds of pages and dozens of chapters written, Martin estimates it will still take months for completion. Quote: “For months now I have wanted nothing so much as to be able to say, ‘I have completed and delivered The Winds of Winter on or before the last day of 2015’. The truth is sometimes the writing goes well and sometimes it doesn’t.”
– AP
★ And “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” has now become Disney’s biggest-ever hit at the box office, overtaking “Frozen” ($1.27 billion worldwide). The sci-fi blockbuster, which hit cinemas on December 18th, has now made in excess of $1.39 billion globally, the 8th-highest total all-time. And the blockbuster doesn’t open in China – one of the world’s biggest movie markets – until this Saturday. Movie experts expect “The Force Awakens” to eventually topple “Avatar” as the top movie moneymaker of all-time. James Cameron’s 2009 movie finished its run with $2.8 billion worldwide.
– WENN.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelor” (ABC) – Season 20 premiere. The new ‘Bachelor’ is Ben Higgins, who was a rejected contestant on “The Bachelorette” last season.
• “The Biggest Loser” (NBC) – Season 17 debut. Duos compete, including one with former reality-TV star Richard Hatch (original “Survivor” winner).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – 5 Seconds Of Summer (“Sounds Good Feels Good”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Shawn Mendes (“Handwritten”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Broncho (“Just Enough Hip to Be Woman”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Zella Day (“Kicker”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Foals (“What Went Down”).
• “Superhuman” (FOX) – TV special debut. Kal Penn (“Harold & Kumar” films) hosts a competition that tests contestants who have special abilities. Judging panel includes former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Andrea Bocelli (“Cinema”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Chris Brown – He’s under investigation by Las Vegas police for possible battery. A woman who tried to take a photo of Brown at a party in a hotel room at the Palms Casino Resort on Saturday is alleged to have been battered by the singer, who at the same time took her cellphone. The case comes 7 years after his arrest for beating then-girlfriend Rihanna.
• Jay Z – “Daily Star Sunday” reports that he wants to make Harry Styles “the biggest artist in the world” and guide his solo career. Jay says he’s even willing to work with Simon Cowell to help manage Harry’s post-One Direction future.
• Mötley Crüe – They finished “The Final Tour” Thursday night at LA’s Staples Center. The final performance is being released as a full-length concert film that includes footage of the show, interviews, and behind-the-scenes clips. It debuts in 2016 both in theaters and on pay-per-view.

PUNCH HAPPY:
Walls do so much for us. And what do they get in return? Punched. A few facts about this act of frustration from the Consumer Product Safety Commission …
• Wall-punching is consistent throughout the year.
• More than 1,200 people were treated for wall punching injuries in 2014.
• Of them, 15-year-olds are most prone to punch walls.
• Men punch walls about 3 times more often than women.
And the main motives for hammering your fist into a partition? As you might guess: anger, and intoxication. Modernman.com calls the phenomenon “totally immature” yet “totally satisfying”.
(Never punch a pre-WW2 wall … the lathe-and-plaster will likely bust your hand.)
– “Quartz”

TAKING TIME-OUT:
Scientists have shown that the average person blinks 15-to-20 times per minute. That’s up to 1,200 times per hour and a whopping 28,800 times in a day – much more often than we need to keep our eyeballs lubricated. In fact, we spend about 10% of our waking hours with our eyes closed. So why do we blink so much? Research from Japan’s Osaka University has found that blinking may serve as a form of momentary rest for the brain, giving the mind a chance to wander and ‘go offline’. These brief breaks may last just a split second or up to a few seconds. (I’m with you … oops, nap time. I’m with you … oops, nap time. I’m with you … oops …)
– HuffingtonPost.com

FORTIFIED WINE:
If you’ve ever woken up surprised by how badly you feel after a couple of glasses of wine the night before, scientists may have a partial explanation. Your wine may have more alcohol than you think. Nearly 60% of wines tested have, on average, 0.42% more alcohol than labeled. University of California researchers say that’s the case among nearly 100,000 bottles of wine sampled from around-the-world. Among the biggest offenders: Chilean and Spanish reds, and Chilean and American whites. While the discrepancy is on average quite small, it doesn’t appear to be accidental. The study suggests winemakers are falsely reporting to meet buyer expectations for particular wines, as well as to avoid tax-rate jumps for higher percentage alcohol content. (“It wasn’t my fault … it was the label!”)
– “Daily Telegraph”

BS AMAZING FACT:
The Tamil equivalent of the proverb “Having your cake and eating it too” translates as “A desire to have the moustache and drink the soup”.
– PopBitch.com

BS CHRONOMETER 01.04.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1960 [56] Michael Stipe, Decatur GA, retired rock singer-songwriter (REM-“Everybody Hurts”, “Losing My Religion”)

1965 [51] Julia Ormond, Epsom UK, movie actress (“My Week with Marilyn”, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”)/TV actress (“Witches of East End” 2013-14, “Mad Men” 2013-15)

1966 [50] Deana Carter, Nashville TN, country singer (“How Do I Get There”, “Strawberry Wine”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Divorce Monday”, when legal firms brace themselves for a surge in queries from spouses planning to break up after limping through the holidays. Many couples wait until after Christmas and the New Year before initiating a separation, leading to a glut of inquiries on the first working Monday of January.

• “Spaghetti Day”, celebrating the Italian pasta dish seemingly everyone loves. Marco Polo brought the recipe for pasta back to Europe with him after his famous trip to China in the 13th century.

• “Thank God It’s Monday Day”. What can one say but … yeah, right.

• “Trivia Day”, honoring those with ‘doctorates in uselessology’. For a switch, try playing ‘Stump the Chump’, where listeners call in questions for YOU to answer.
BS ‘TRIVIA DAY’ QUIZ:
– In what country is the Prime Meridian located? (England)
– What sport did the ‘Toronto Huskies’ play beginning in 1946? (Basketball, in what became the NBA.)
– Who coached the winners of Super Bowl I? (The coach of the Green Bay Packers was the legendary Vince Lombardi.)
– Who are the only 2 angels named in the Bible? (‘Gabriel’ and ‘Michael’.)

• “Weigh-In Day”, when many plan to kick off their resolution to lose weight on the first day back at work in the New Year.

• “World Braille Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1809 birth of Louis Braille of France. In 1829, he published “Method of Writing Words, Music & Plain Song by Means of Dots, for Use By the Blind”. Today, the ‘Braille method’ is used in virtually every language as the standard form of reading and writing by those with vision-loss.
NET: http://www.cnib.ca/en/living/braille/louis-braille

• “World Hypnotism Day”, with the objective of correcting the myths and misconceptions about hypnotism while promoting the truth and benefits of the process that helps many put aside fears, and change what they believed was unchangeable. (Not to mention bark like a dog.)
NET: http://www.worldhypnotismday.com

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1996 [20] 1st ‘Live Rock Concert On the Internet’ features Deborah Harry, Joan Jett, Joey Ramone, The Lunachicks

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2010 [06] The Burj Khalifa, ‘World’s Tallest Building’ (828 m or 2,717 ft), is officially opened in Dubai UAE

2014 [02] Record-low temperatures are forecast for North America due to what’s being called a ‘polar vortex’, a tunnel of cold air funnelling all the way from the North Pole

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Jan 5] “Marvel’s Agent Carter” Season 2 debut (ABC) / “New Girl” Season 5 premiere (FOX) / “Grandfathered” series debut (FOX) / Bird Day
[Jan 6] “People’s Choice Awards” (CBS) / “American Idol” final season debut (FOX) / “American Crime” Season 2 premiere (ABC) / Epiphany / Twelfth Night / Three Kings Day / International Consumer Electronics Show begins (Las Vegas NV)
[Jan 7] “Shades of Blue” series debut (NBC) / “My Diet Is Better Than Yours” premiere (ABC) / I’m Not Going to Take it Anymore Day / International Programmers Day / Orthodox Christmas / Bobblehead Day / Tempura Day
[Jan 8] “The Forest” opens in movie theaters; “The Revenant” opens wide / Bubble Bath Day / English Toffee Day / Midwife Day / Show & Tell Day at Work / War on Poverty Day
[Jan 9] Cassoulet Day / Static Electricity Day
[Jan 10] “Golden Globe Awards” (NBC) / Cut Your Energy Costs Day / No Pants Subway Ride
[Jan 11] Cigarettes are Hazardous to Your Health Day / Clean Off Your Desk Day / Human Trafficking Awareness Day
[Jan 12] Bean Day / Kiss a Ginger Day / Poetry at Work Day
[Jan 13] “Second Chance” season debut (FOX) / Make Your Dream Come True Day / Sticker Day
[Jan 14] Caesarean Section Day / International Kite Day / Dress Up Your Pet Day / Organize Your Home Day
[Jan 15] “Gershwin Prize for Popular Song” (PBS) / “Hell’s Kitchen” Season 15 premiere (FOX) / “Ride Along 2”; “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi” open in movie theaters / Humanitarian Day / International Fetish Day
[Jan 16] Appreciate a Dragon Day / Civil Service Day / Fig Newton Day / Religious Freedom Day
[Jan 17] Chili Days / Kid Inventors Day / Popeye Day / World Religion Day
[Jan 18] Martin Luther King Day (USA) / Winnie the Pooh Day / Thesaurus Day
[Jan 19] Popcorn Day / Tin Can Day / World Day of Migrants & Refugees
[Jan 20] “Kocktails With Khloé” series debut (FYI) / Camcorder Day / Penguin Awareness Day / Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Jan 21] Hugging Day / Squirrel Appreciation Day / Women’s Healthy Weight Day
[Jan 22] “Dirty Grandpa”; “The 5th Wave” open in movie theaters / Answer Your Cats’ Questions Day / Celebration of Life Day
[Jan 23] PGA Awards (LA CA) / Country Music Awards Of Australia (Tamworth NSW) / Full ‘Wolf’ Moon / Handwriting Day / Pie Day / Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day
[Jan 24] “The X-Files” reboot debuts (FOX) / Belly Laugh Day / Beer Can Day / Compliment Day / Peanut Butter Day / Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
[Jan 25] “Lucifer” series premiere (FOX) / A Room of One’s Own Day / Opposite Day / Robert Burns Day / Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
[Jan 26] Peanut Brittle Day
[Jan 27] Holocaust Memorial Day / International Mobile Phone Recycling Day / Thomas Crapper Day / Vietnam Peace Day
[Jan 28] Data Privacy Day / Kazoo Day / Thank a Plugin Developer Day
[Jan 29] “The Finest Hours”; “Kung Fu Panda 3” open in movie theaters / Curmudgeons Day / Fun at Work Day / Pre-School Fitness Day / Puzzle Day / Seeing Eye Dog Day
[Jan 20] “SAG Awards” (TBS/TNT) / Croissant Day / Inane Voicemail Message Day / Seed Swap Day
[Jan 31] “Grease: Live” (FOX) / Inspire Your Heart With Art Day / Street Children Day / World Leprosy Day

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS RESOLUTIONS MADE BY MY DOG:
• I resolve to have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
• I resolve I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
• I resolve to circulate a petition to make leg-humping a juried competition at major dog shows.
• I resolve to take time from my busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
• I resolve I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it leave my human’s hand.
– First published in “BS” 2001.

WHAT WE DO IN THE LOO:
We average about an hour per day or 2 weeks per year in the bathroom. A poll by the National Association for Continence sums up some of the things we do in there …
• 50% of respondents say they read or ‘ponder serious issues’. (“Gawd, what did I eat!?!”)
• 33% daydream, sing in the shower, or … talk on the phone. (Tacky tacky tacky!)
• 33% of women admit they talk to themselves or ‘admire themselves’. (In the biblical sense?)
• 22% of men claim they’ve made love in the bathroom. (Like any other location you can name.)
– First published in “BS” 2009.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
It’s estimated that the typical person has an average of 10-and-a-half what?
a. Scars on the body.
b. Cars in a lifetime.
c. Ex-lovers. [CORRECT]

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What music helped you get over the long period after a busted heart? (What Eric Church calls his “Record Year”.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Retail research suggests you’ll spend way less shopping if you do THIS.
Answer: Shop alone.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s not how old you are but how you are old.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Chris Thomas @ Slip Away Radio, Navarre FL; Chris Hensley @ FM 106.5 [WJDT] Rogersville TN; Gary Shannon @ 92-9 The Lake [KHLA] Lake Charles LA; Thomas Prettyman @ KJam 101 Pensacola FL; M Shields-Brown @ K-FM Fife, Scotland; Matt Witzel @ Electric Rain Radio, McAlisterville PA; Summer Stevens @ Country’s Best 94.7 [KTTS] Springfield MO; Partyboy Bueller @ Partyboy Radio, Austin TX; Chris Sparks @ Z92 [WHIZ] Zanesville OH; and Clare Wootton @ 4CC Gladstone QLD Australia.