Wednesday, January 5, 2011        Edition: #4418
Don’t Take Any Sheet … Unless It’s BS!

32-year-old James Franco (“127 Hours”) is reportedly in talks to write & direct 2 films, adaptations of William Faulkner’s “As I Lay Dying” and Cormac McCarthy’s “Blood Meridian”, just as he’s also preparing to co-host the Academy Awards (he ain’t just a pretty boy actor) . . . Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino has shared a list of his favorite films of 2010 and coming in at #1 is “Toy Story 3” (seeing as he hasn’t made anything since 2009) . . . Movie star Natalie Portman’s rep has confirmed the 29-year-old is indeed expecting a baby via choreographer (and new fiancé) Benjamin Millepied, whom she met while filming “Black Swan” (he gets turned on by emaciated 45-pounders) . . . . After spending their holiday season in Africa with their family, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have given $2 million to a Namibian wildlife sanctuary that takes care of injured animals like cheetahs and lions (out in the wild these days, cheetahs never prosper) . . . She’s posed nude on the covers of “Playboy” and “W”, but 30-year-old Kim Kardashian tells the February issue of “Glamour” she doesn’t find herself as sexy as everyone seems to (finally, something we agree on!) . . . And according to the Audit Bureau of Circulations, Lady Gaga was the runaway hit at the newsstand in 2010 as a magazine cover girl, followed by Rihanna; while Taylor Swift & Blake Lively didn’t fare so well (likely because they kept their clothes on).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Deerhunter (“Halcyon Digest”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Macy Gray (“The Sellout”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Lloyd Banks (“Hunger For More 2”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Ra Ra Riot (“The Orchard”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tim McGraw (“Number One Hits”); The Ghost Of a Saber Tooth Tiger (“The Ghost Of a Saber Tooth Tiger”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Justin Townes Earle (“Harlem River Blues”).
• “People’s Choice Awards” (CBS) – Queen Latifah hosts the 37th annual fan-voted awards for music, movies & TV from Los Angeles. “Glee” leads all nominees with 5; Eminem and Lady Gaga lead individual nominations with 4 apiece. BoB, Carrie Underwood, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Usher are among others with multiple nominations.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Jamie Foxx (“Best Night of My Life”).
• “World Junior Hockey Championship” final (TSN) – Canada vs Russia in Buffalo NY. (A really, really big deal in Canada that the rest of the world doesn’t take second notice of.)

• Easton Corbin – He, along with Eric Church and Randy Houser, have been nominated for the Academy of Country Music’s ‘Top New Solo Artist’. The “ACM Awards” air live from Las Vegas April 3rd (CBS).
• The Beatles – The white suit John Lennon wore on the cover of “Abbey Road” has sold for $46,000 in a Connecticut auction. It was part of a sale of Fab Four memorabilia that included a 1972 green Chrysler station wagon once owned by John & Yoko.
• Green Day – They will release a live CD/DVD set March 15th entitled “Awesome As F—. It was recorded on last year’s tour in support of their album “21st Century Breakdown”.
• Justin Bieber – He & rumored girlfriend Selena Gomez, who’ve been playing coy about their relationship, have been photographed vacationing together on the Caribbean island of St Lucia.
• Lady Gaga – It’s been announced her new album “Born This Way” is set for release May 23rd.
• Paramore – With the departure of founding members Josh & Zac Farro, fill-ins have been lined up for their upcoming South American tour. Taylor York’s brother Justin will play guitar and drummer Josh Freese (Nine Inch Nails) will sit in on percussion.
• U2 – “Entertainment Weekly” reports Bono & The Edge will be in the theater for all remaining preview performances of “Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark”, in order to fine-tune the Broadway musical before its official opening, now set for February 7th.

We remember unfamiliar faces best between the ages of 30-and-34, according to a new Harvard University study. Many researchers think word skills, memory, and other mental functions peak in the early 20s, as the brain attains full maturity. Consistent with that assumption, memory for names hits a high point at ages 23-24. But in an unanticipated twist, the study has also found that face-learning takes about a decade longer to be the best it can be. (After age 50, you begin to no longer recognize the face … in your mirror.)

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Flexitarian’ – Someone who’s a vegetarian … unless there’s something else on the dining table that they really, really like. Then they bend the rules. (“I’m sorry I’m vegetarian … wait a sec, is that lobster you’re serving?”)
• ‘Motor-homeless’ – A person who is homeless except for a motorhome. (In order to get out of the cold, hundreds of motor-homeless huddle together at Florida RV parks in their Silver Stream trailers.)
• ‘Silver Tsunami’ – The wave of Baby Boomers who are now turning 65 and entering their senior years. (Thanks to the Silver Tsunami, the makers of Depends are forecasting record-breaking sales over the next 20 years.)

Placebos work because people who take them believe they’re really medicine, right? An intriguing new Harvard Medical School study has discovered there may be more to the sugar pills. In experiments, patients with similar symptoms were told the pills they were taking had no active ingredient and the word ‘placebo’ was actually printed on the bottle. Even so, these patients doubled their rates of improvement after a 3-week period, to a degree roughly equivalent to the effects of taking the most powerful medications. (Now the pharma industry will be raising the price of sugar pills to 100 bucks a bottle.)

Many countries have different uses for ketchup. For instance …
• Britain … on fish & chips.
• Denmark … on spaghetti.
• Eastern Europe … on pizza.
• Japan … on rice.
• Spain & India … on eggs.
• Sweden … on pasta.
• Thailand … as potato chip dip.
(Listener poll: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen someone put ketchup on? Pancakes, anyone?)
– PA News

A few ‘Snooki-isms’ to be found in the just-released novel “A Shore Thing” by “Jersey Shore” guidette Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi …
• “Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn’t nearly as gritty and disgusting as she’d seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank – on a weekday afternoon – was as clean and quiet as a church.”
• “He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”
• “Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla.”
• “Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
• “I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body … especially the badonk.”
(The 3rd season of “Jersey Shore” debuts tomorrow night on MTV.)

Studies show that 7 am is the optimum time of the day to make love because of early-morning hormone surges (ew, what about ‘morning mouth’?).  And the least opportune time to do the nasty? 12 o’clock mid-day.  (Forget about those nooners!)
– “Men’s Fitness”

• Danish carpenter Ole Kirk Christiansen started the Lego toy empire in 1932 when his carpentry business faced hard times during the depression. ‘Lego’ is from the Danish words ‘leg godt’, meaning ‘play well’. There are now 62 Lego bricks for each person on Earth.
• Basketball fans using credit cards pay up to twice as much for tickets to a Boston Celtics game as those purchasing those same NBA tickets with cash.
• The French work less than Americans do, while sleeping more, taking more time over meals, and spending longer hours on leisure activities – and guess what? The French feel happier than Americans do.
– “The Price of Everything: Solving the Mystery of Why We Pay What We Do” by Eduardo Porter


1931 [80] Robert Duvall, San Diego CA, movie actor (“Crazy Heart”, 1984 Oscar-“Tender Mercies”)

1942 [69] Charlie Rose, Henderson NC, TV journalist (“Charlie Rose” since 1991, “60  Minutes” 1999-2005)

1946 [65] Diane Keaton (Hall), LA CA, movie actress (“The Family Stone”, 1978 Oscar-“Annie Hall”)

1969 [42] Marilyn Manson (Brian Warner), Canton OH, shock-rock musician (“Personal Jesus”, “The Dope Show”)

1970 [41] Rick Campanelli, Hamilton ON, TV personality (“ET Canada” since 2005, MuchMusic 1996-2005)

1975 [36] Bradley Cooper, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“The A-Team”, “The Hangover”)  UP NEXT: “The Hangover Part II”, opening in May.

1978 [33] January Jones, Sioux Falls SD, TV actress (‘Betty Draper’ on “Mad Men” since 2007)/movie actress (“We Are Marshall”, “Love Actually”)

• “Bean Day”, although no one seems to know why. If you’re in a rush today, you could mark the occasion by having some plain but honorable baked beans on toast from your favorite tin. Or, to be more adventurous, you could cook up a French cassoulet, or sample some bean burritos.

• “Bird Day”, a salute to our fine feathered friends, one of the greatest wonders of nature.

• “Review Your Wrestling Holds Day”, a day to try to find someone who’ll let you practice all the wrestling holds you learned as a kid … the hammerlock, half-nelson, flying scissors, etc. (Don’t try the sleeper!)

• “Secondhand Wardrobe Day”, celebrating the unique finds available in vintage clothing stores and thrift shops. (Love your anti-war T-shirt [co-host] … from the Vietnam war.)

• “Twelfth Night”, the “Eve of Epiphany”. Tomorrow is the “Twelfth Day Of Christmas” when, according to the carol, your true love should give to you ’12 drummers drumming’.

1961 [50] TV comedy “Mr Ed”, featuring a talking horse, debuts (Alan Young stars as ‘Wilbur Post’, Allan Lane is the voice of ‘Mr Ed’)

1998 [13] 1960s pop star-turned-politician Sonny Bono (Sonny & Cher) is killed at age 62 when he skis into a tree at South Lake Tahoe, California

1835 [176] ‘Worcestershire Sauce’ (pronounced ‘WUSS-ta-sure’) is introduced by Lea & Perrins

1889 [122] According to the “Oxford English Dictionary”, the word ‘Hamburger’ first appears on a restaurant menu, quoted in the “Walla Walla Union” newspaper (Walla Walla WA)

1940 [71] Edwin Armstrong demonstrates his new invention … ‘FM Radio’ (thanks for the gig, dude!)

1958 [53] 424 coins & 5 lbs of wire are removed from a man’s stomach in Sedgefield UK (“How’s the patient now, doctor?” “No change.”)

1987 [24] Tony Ferko sets a new world record by juggling 7 ping-pong balls … with his mouth

[Thurs] Armenian Christmas
[Thurs] Epiphany
[Fri] “Season Of the Witch” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] International Programmers’ Day
[Fri] Orthodox Christmas
[Fri] Show & Tell Day at Work
This Week Is … Women’s Self Empowerment Week
This Month Is … Financial Wellness Month


• You don’t bother with turn signals because everyone knows where you’re going anyway.
• No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
• 3rd Street is way out on the edge of town.
• The local phone book has 1 yellow page.
• A ‘night on the town’ takes 11 minutes.
• Last year’s “New Year’s baby” wasn’t born until October.

I’m as bored as a pacifist’s pistol.

• In his first film role, actor Robert Duvall played a character named …
a. Bubba.
b. Beau.
c. Boo. [CORRECT. He played Gregory Peck’s neighbor, Arthur ‘Boo’ Radley, in the 1962 classic “To Kill a Mockingbird”.]

• According to recent research, who has a better chance of recovering from a heart attack?
a. Kinder, gentler people.
b. Sad, depressed people.
c. Mean, hostile people. [CORRECT. They’re most likely to succeed in rehabilitation exercise programs. The problem is, inner hostility may also be one of the causes of heart attacks in the first place.]
– “Career Focus Magazine”

Which overused sports cliché drives you up the wall? (According to a recent fan poll, the most overused include “We’re taking them one at a time”; “He’s giving 110%”; and “This is as big as it gets.” One that gets our goat is referring to the Super Bowl, NBA title, etc as a ‘world championship’ when the teams never play anyone outside of their league.)

Today’s Question: Unofficially, the oldest person who is actually using THIS is 103.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Facebook. (“TIME”)

What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.

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