Thursday, January 7, 2016        Edition: #5604

Can You Believe This Sheet?

★ British “GQ” has just named the UK’s ’50 Best Dressed Men’ of the year and, perhaps surprisingly, the royal who ranks highest on the list is … 94-year-old Prince Philip. A quick glance at the top 5 …
5. Fashion Designer Patrick Grant.
4. Retired soccer star David Beckham.
3. Pop singer Sam Smith.
2. BBC 1 radio personality Nick Grimshaw (“The Radio 1 Breakfast Show”).
1. Movie actor Eddie Redmayne (“The Danish Girl”).
Also listed: Harry Styles of One Direction, and TV/movie star Benedict Cumberbatch.
★ Actress Jennifer Lawrence tells BBC that the script for her and Amy Schumer’s highly-anticipated film has an ‘official first draft’. The pair have been working on the project together for months and J-Law has previously promised that the film will be ‘pretty funny’. The two best friends will play sisters, with Lawrence in the role of the ‘wilder’ sibling. Schumer’s character is living her lifelong dream of becoming a flight attendant. As to when the movie will ever get shot, Jennifer can only say: “I am going to try and fit it somewhere into my ghoulish schedule.”
– “Entertainment Tonight”
★ And Nicole Kidman has a new husband … onscreen at least. Actor Alexander Skarsgard has been signed to portray the Oscar-winner’s leading man in the new HBO-TV series “Big Little Lies”, a comedy created by David E Kelley. The actors are joining a cast that also includes Adam Scott, James Tupper, Laura Dern, Reese Witherspoon, Shailene Woodley, and Zoe Kravitz. The dramedy, surrounding 3 mothers caught up in a murder scandal, is based on the 2014 novel of the same name by Liane Moriarty.

• “Jerry Seinfeld: The Homestand” (NYC) – Tonight comedian Jerry Seinfeld begins a 6-gig residency at the Beacon Theatre. He’ll hit the stage once a month until June.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Vance Joy (“Dream Your Life Away”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Meghan Trainor (“Title”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Shaun T (“My Testimony”).
• “My Diet Is Better Than Yours” (ABC) – Reality series debut in which contestants meet with experts and start working to lose weight.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – iLoveMemphis (“Hit the Quan”).
• “Shades of Blue” (NBC/Global) – Drama series debut, with Jennifer Lopez starring as corrupt cop ‘Harlee Santos’. The inaugural season is scheduled to run 13 episodes.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – James Taylor (“Before This World”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Kendrick Lamar (“To Pimp a Butterfly”).

• The Black Keys – Frontman Dan Auerbach tells “Rolling Stone” that he’s an aspiring chef who is particularly proud of his ‘Zagat-rated lasagne’, which he says is as good as anything he’s ever tasted. Quote: “I make my own stock, make my own pasta, [and] a great red sauce.”
• Kacey Musgraves – This week her parked car was broken into in Nashville TN. The thief smashed one of the windows and got away with a pair of high-end boots from her new footwear line with Lucchese & Charlotte Olympia. Kacey tweets that her next song may be about stolen cowboy boots. Quote: “Not sure if there’s anything more country.”
• Steely Dan – 67-year-old frontman Donald Fagen has now been released without bail but ordered to stay away from his wife Libby after a judge issued an order of protection. He was arrested Monday and charged with assault and harassment following a domestic dispute.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Scott Weiland’s ex-wife Mary Weiland has filed a request to be executor of the late rocker’s will. His estate includes some $2 million in assets and she’s claiming his will was written 7 months before they separated in 2007 and subsequently divorced. Photographer Jamie Wachtel was married to the musician at the time of his December 3rd death.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Baywatch” – Paramount Pictures has found the actress who will step into the role Pamela Anderson made famous on the cult TV series. Model Kelly Rohrbach will play ‘CJ Parker’ in the 2017 movie reboot of the ’90s show. Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron are starring; and “San Andreas” actress Alexandra Daddario plays ‘Summer’ (originally portrayed by Nicole Eggert).
• “Black Panther” – Marvel has confirmed that “Creed” director Ryan Coogler will take charge of the studio’s new movie, the first Marvel film to feature a majority black cast. Chadwick Boseman (“Get On Up”) will play the superhero in this 2018 movie as well as in “Captain America: Civil War”, scheduled for release later this year.
• “Knights Of the Roundtable: King Arthur” – Guy Ritchie’s period adventure starring Charlie Hunnam has been delayed from this Summer to February 2017. Hunnam, best known for starring in TV biker drama “Sons of Anarchy”, plays Arthur in the film. Ritchie has promised his take on the mythical king will be ‘grittier’ than previous depictions.
• “Star Trek Beyond” – Bad news for Trekkies hoping that the new film would feature a cameo worthy of the franchise’s 50th anniversary. 84-year-old William Shatner has revealed that, as far as he knows, there’s no truth to the rumor that he’ll appear as the original ‘James T Kirk’ alongside Chris Pine’s rebooted starship captain. “Star Trek Beyond” is set to open July 22nd.

Why should you care? Because we’re going through water like there’s no tomorrow! When it comes to water consumption, some of us are greedier than others. The top water-using countries according to Statistica …
1. USA … 1,630 cubic meters per person yearly.
2. Estonia … 1,400 cu m.
3. New Zealand … 1,190 cu m.
4. Canada … 1,130 cu m.
Germany, by contrast, uses just 400 cubic meters and Britain a skimpy 140. (What’s the longest you’ve gone without a shower?)

For $100, extravagant eaters can sink their teeth into a flashy 24-carat gold donut decadently doused in Cristal champagne icing at the Manila Social Club in Williamsburg NY. These bourgeois bites priced at $1,000 a dozen, are made with ube – a deep purple yam widely used in Filipino desserts like ice cream – and filled with ube mousse and champagne jelly before they’re dusted with the flavorless shiny gold. The owner claims he’s already sold 5 dozen Golden Cristal Ube Donuts since launching the sweet treat last week. (Do you eat it or wear it?)
– “Daily News”

This year is shaping up to be a prolific one when it comes to books by Hollywood stars. Just a few on the horizon …
✓ Alec Baldwin’s “Nevertheless” … The outspoken actor promises reflections on his hits and flops, marriage and divorce, plus some opinions on the media and politics.
✓ Amy Schumer’s “The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo” … A series of comedic essays due sometime this Fall.
✓ Carrie Fisher’s “The Princess Diarist” … Due in April, the book’s based on diaries kept during the making of “Star Wars” movies, going back to 1976.
✓ Taraji P Henson’s untitled memoir .. The “Empire” star’s book, out this Summer, recounts stories of her life beginning with a rough-and-tumble childhood in Washington DC.
✓ William Shatner’s “Leonard: My Fifty-Year Friendship With a Remarkable Man” … Out in February, the former “Star Trek” captain recalls his longtime friendship with Leonard Nimoy.

Forget putting headphones around a pregnant belly or turning up the stereo extra loud, a new MP3 device plays music to developing embryos … directly in the mother’s uterus. The new ‘Babypod’ – which sells for $133 on the company’s website – was created after a gynecology clinic in Spain reported that fetuses react to sound as early as 16 weeks. Expectant parents have long been playing tunes outside of mommy’s belly, but sound cannot fully reach the fetus from outside because the soft tissue and amniotic fluid absorb it. The ‘Babypod’ speaker – an orb-shaped device that’s inserted like a tampon – penetrates through the haze to offer fetuses better sound, the company claims. (Is it just us, or is this a little on the weird side?)
– @NYDailyNews

In the Gaspesie region of Québec, locals are cutting money in half. Why? It’s all about boosting the local economy. A local group heard about the idea of ‘alternative currencies’ from a French tourist and decided to put the idea into motion in Gaspesie, where a half-bill is called a ‘demi’ and is worth just what you’d think – $5 if it’s half of a $10-bill, $10 if it’s half a $20-bill, etc. The clipped bills can only be used locally, the idea being to keep money circulating within the community. The ‘demi’ is different from other forms of alternative money in that it uses existing Canadian currency as its base. Other alternative currencies include the ‘SoNantes’ in Nantes, France (which is all-digital) and the ‘Ithaca HOUR’ in Ithaca, NY. (Sorry mes amies, but cutting a hundred in two is a tear-jerking prospect.)

On average, engagement rings cost a whopping $5,978 last year and fiancés-to-be spent 5 months visiting 5 retailers looking at 25 rings before deciding. Expert tips on picking a ring …
✓ Find a jeweler you trust. It’s an important investment, and you want to be sure you can have an honest discussion about all aspects of the purchase.
✓ Do some detective work . Your future fiancée’s social media pages may help guide you, as many women ‘like’ photos of their dream ring on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, etc.
✓ Learn about the 4 ‘C’s … cut, color, clarity, and carat weight. If you only have the budget to favor one aspect then pick the best cut, which determines how well a diamond sparkles.
✓ Size up your fiancée. No woman wants to be proposed to with a ring she can’t fit on her finger. Try to sneak a ring she currently wears on her ring finger and take it to a ring-sizer.
✓ Trust your gut. You know your significant other, so as long as you have a good idea of what she wants and it’s within your budget, go for it! (Just avoid anything that creates ‘green-finger’.)

Kate Middleton’s $45,000 sapphire ring can’t compare to this showstopper … gemologists in Sri Lanka say they’ve dug up the largest blue star sapphire ever found, at a mine in Ratnapura, known as the ‘City of Gems’. The star sapphire – named for the star-shaped reflection that appears on its polished surface – weighs a record 1,404.49 carats. The anonymous owner is said to have christened the gem the ‘Star of Adam’ and believes he can get as much as $175 million for it at auction. First he’ll wait for it to generate international exposure. (Like this.)
– “Ceylon Today”

Brussels sprouts have 3 times as much vitamin C as oranges. (But don’t smell near as good.)
– BBC News


1964 [52] Nicolas Cage (Coppola), Long Beach CA, movie actor (“National Treasure” films, “Leaving Las Vegas”)/movie director Francis Ford Coppola’s nephew

1971 [45] Jeremy Renner, Modesto CA, movie actor (“The Bourne Legacy”, “The Hurt Locker”)

1974 [42] John Rich, Amarillo TX, country singer (Big & Rich-“Lost In this Moment”, ex-Lonestar-“Amazed”)

1979 [37] Aloe Blacc (Egbert Dawkins III), Laguna Hills CA, rapper-singer (“I Need a Dollar”, w/Avicii-“Wake Me Up”)

1982 [34] Lauren Cohen, Philadelphia PA, TV actress (‘Maggie Greene’ on “The Walking Dead” since 2011, “The Vampire Diaries” 2010-12)

1983 [33] Brett Dalton, San Jose CA, TV actor (‘Grant Ward’ on “Marvel’s Agents of Shield” since 2013)

1985 [31] Lewis Hamilton, Stevenage UK, race car driver (2008, 2014, 2015 Formula One World Champion)/first Brit driver in history to win consecutive F1 titles

2000 [16] Marcus Scribner, LA CA, TV actor (‘Andre Johnson Jr’ on “black-ish” since 2014)

• “Bobblehead Day”, an annual celebration of the dumb dolls with wobbly noggins that are often handed out as giveaways at sports events. (Then collect dust on a shelves for decades.)

• “I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore Day”, a day to stand up for your rights.

• “International Programmers Day”, honoring the geeks behind many of today’s technological conveniences, pastimes, and work tools.

• “Orthodox Christmas” in many countries worldwide. Why? Both Eastern Orthodox Churches and Oriental Orthodox Churches still use the old Julian calendar.

• “Tempura Day”, celebrating the Japanese cooking tradition of dipping seafood or vegetables in a thin batter of flour and water, then frying them in oil.

2015 [01] Two gunmen commit a mass shooting at the offices of “Charlie Hebdo” magazine in Paris, France, killing 12 and injuring another 11

2006 [09] P!nk marries her motocross racer-boyfriend Carey Hart on a beach in Costa Rica

2009 [06] Then-US president George W Bush invites president-elect Barack Obama and former chief execs Bill Clinton, HW Bush, and Jimmy Carter for a 5-president luncheon at the White House (the first of gathering of its kind in 27 years)

[Fri] “The Forest” opens in movie theaters; “The Revenant” opens wide
[Fri] Bubble Bath Day
[Fri] Midwife Day
[Sun] “Golden Globe Awards” (NBC)
[Sun] No Pants Subway Ride
This Week Is … Bowling Week
This Month Is … Learn to Ski & Snowboard Month


• Insert side with USB logo facing upright.
• Insert side with uncovered holes facing upright.
• Add Wite-Out to correct side to remember for later.
• Try both sides haphazardly.
• Try both sides, then the first side again, then the second side, then back to the first side, then, I dunno, the second side?
• Wiggle cord.
• Call daughter for help.
• Leave message at the beep.
• Try again.
– Thanks to Jon Wolper

Fairytales are horror stories for children to get them use to reality.

Question: 1-in-4 men say they won’t date a woman if she has THIS.
Answer: Facial piercing.

Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

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