Tuesday, January 8, 2013        Edition: #4899

More From the Sheethouse!

At the mid-point of the TV season, NBC has jumped from 4th place to 2nd in overall ratings, thanks in part to “The Voice”, the only talent show whose ratings have risen (and not likely due to the lame comedy “Guys With Kids”) . . . Emma Watson’s wholesome “Harry Potter” character ‘Hermione Granger’ (2001-11) has been voted the best bigscreen role model for young people in a new poll by Lovefilm.com (just ahead of ‘Leatherface’) . . . Meantime, 22-year-old Watson has been stopped by officials after landing at NYC’s JFK airport and told that she should be accompanied by an adult (seems she confused them by wearing a school-style backpack) . . . Mariah Carey’s music exec ex-husband Tommy Mottola is taking credit for her success in his new memoir “Hitmaker”, admitting he was ‘controlling’ and ‘obsessive’ but claiming that was also part of the reason for her success (well that and a vocal range that goes from seismic to dog-audible only) . . . Movie director Kathryn Bigelow (“Zero Dark Thirty”) and screenwriter-actress Lena Dunham (“Girls”) are atop a new list of ‘100 People to Watch in 2013’, compiled by a panel of entertainment industry experts (if the “Hurt Locker” director wins another Oscar, she’ll only be one behind her ex, James Cameron) . . . Kim Kardashian & Kanye West have surprisingly turned down a $3-million offer from an overseas publication for exclusive right to first pics of their expected child (it’s not the idea of selling out they’re rejecting, it’s the amount) . . . Meantime, a source tells Britain’s “The Sun” that Kanye’s planning his own take on his favorite Dr Seuss stories by recording rap versions for his unborn baby (if he does, he’ll end up with ‘Green Eggs and a Lawsuit’).

• “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers” (NBC) – Season 2 debuts with back-to-back episodes featuring seniors playing pranks on unsuspecting youngsters.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) –  Gary Clark Jr (“Blak & Blu”).
• “Cougar Town” (TBS) – The debut of Season 4 of Courteney Cox’s sitcom, an episode entitled “Blue Sunday”, as the show moves to TBS from ABC.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight the new 11:35 time-slot puts Kimmel in direct competition with Leno and Letterman. Jennifer Aniston, No Doubt guest (“Push & Shove”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Desaparecidos (“MariKKKopa/Backsell”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Bat for Lashes (“The Haunted Man”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Morrissey (“Very Best of Morrissey”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – In response to Kimmel’s half-hour earlier start-time, Leno moves his show ahead by 1 minute, starting at 11.34. Musical guest The Whigs (“Enjoy the Company”).

• Adele – Word has it she could make her first public appearance since giving birth last October, performing the theme from “Skyfall” as part of a ‘James Bond’ 50th anniversary tribute planned for next month’s Academy Awards.
• Dropkick Murphys – In an unusual marketing move, the Irish punk rockers are promoting the album “Rose Tattoo” by encouraging fans to have the new logo inked on, then send pics to the band’s official website. Would you permanently disfigure yourself for your favorite artist?
• “Girls – Volume 1” – Today’s album release of music from the HBO series features exclusive new tracks by fun., Grouplove, and Santigold. Other artists featured on the TV soundtrack include Fleet Foxes, Robyn, and The Vaccines.
• Jane’s Addiction – Frontman Perry Farrell tells “Prefix Magazine” his next project is a musical based on the band’s recordings. He says it will be ‘immersive theater’, meaning that he’ll, quote: “create an environment and the music will be within that environment.” Artsy or just gibberish?
• Jay-Z – He rents a luxurious underground suite at the Barclay Center in Brooklyn NY for $1 million-a-year, according to “Us Magazine”. Why? It serves as a nursery for just-turned-1 daughter Blue Ivy while he and Beyoncé watch dad’s NBA team the Brooklyn Nets upstairs.
• Justin Bieber – We’re guessing that the Bieb’s security team has been getting a stern talking-to from his management after photos of the pop star smoking weed made their way online over the weekend.
• Mariah Carey – She’s been hit with a slew of lackluster reviews of her just-wrapped series of Australian shows in Melbourne, Sydney, and on the Gold Coast. Critics have labeled them ‘awkward’, ‘unrehearsed’, and ‘uneven’. Oops, better hang onto that “American Idol” gig!
• Nirvana – Director Brett Morgen, who recently finished the Rolling Stones biopic “Crossfire Hurricane”, has also been working on an as-yet-untitled film about Kurt Cobain for 5 years. He hopes to release the project in 2014 as a mix of animation and live action, taking advantage of Cobain’s legacy of visual art that includes comic books, paintings, and Super8 films.

• “Dredd 3-D” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ) – In a violent, futuristic city, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug ‘SLO-MO’. Stars Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Rachel Wood. Shot in Cape Town, South Africa.
• “Frankenweenie” ( PG Animation ): Filmmaker Tim Burton expands his 1984 stop-action animation short into a full feature. The story revolves around young anti-hero ‘Victor’ who re-animates his dead dog ‘Sparky’. Voice cast includes Catherine O’Hara, Martin Short.
• “Hit & Run” ( R-Rated Romantic Comedy ): A former getaway driver jeopardizes his Witness Protection Program identity in order to help his girlfriend get to Los Angeles. Both the feds and his former gang chase after them. Stars Dax Shepard, Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth.
• “House At the End Of the Street” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): A mother & daughter find out they’re living next to a house where a girl murdered her parents. They soon learn the story is far from over. Stars Jennifer Lawrence, Elisabeth Shue, Gil Bellows. Shot in Ottawa, Ontario.
• Also released today: “Angelina Ballerina: Dance Around the World” (Animation); “Anger Management: Season 1” (TV); “Archer: Season 3” (TV); “Barney: Let’s Go To the Moon” (Family); “Dallas: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Dance Moms: Season 2” (Reality TV); “The Hour: Season 2” (TV); “Music From the Big House” (Music Documentary); “Seal Team Six: The Raid on Osama bin Laden” (TV); and “Smash: Season 1” (TV).

A new reference guide called ‘Beertone’ (a play on the iconic Pantone color guide) has been designed to help barley drinkers identify and choose the right type of beer … based on its color. The brightest beers begin the guide, which runs through the spectrum ending with the darkest. Each beer has a card featuring a detailed description, alcohol by volume, the brewery, its bottle design, and its color information … ‘RGB’, ‘CMYK’, ‘Web’, ‘SRM’ (that’s the beer color scale). Photos show each beer in its bottle and in a glass. This ultimate reference guide will cost suds lovers $39 a pop. (We prefer the old method … random sampling.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/amlp9az
– DesignTaxi.com

Today through Friday the world’s largest annual trade show for consumer technology is open for biz at the Las Vegas Convention & World Trade Center. This is the show where many of the electronic gizmos we now use were introduced. Among this year’s new innovations …
✓ ‘Crayola iPad Stylus’ – Able to draw on an iPad using a special app, without touching the screen.
✓ ‘Hapifork’ – A Bluetooth-connected fork designed to help you lose weight.
✓ ‘NVidia Shield’ – A brand-new Android gaming console.
✓ ‘3M Touch Display’ – This absolutely ridiculous 84-inch touchscreen supports ultra HD resolutions and can cope with 60 individual touch points.
✓ ‘Withings Smart Body Analyzer’ – A WiFi-enabled hi-tech set of scales, which can analyze things like your heart rate, the air quality in your home, your body fat, and overall fitness.
NET: http://www.cesweb.org
– HuffingtonPost.com

Researchers at Spain’s Polytechnic University of Valencia and UK’s Oxford University have found that the color of the container in which food or drink is served can enhance its taste and aroma. When asked to try hot chocolate in cups of 4 different colors – white, cream, red, and orange – volunteers consistently found the flavor was better in the orange or cream-colored cups. Previous research has found that yellow containers boost the perception of lemon flavor in soft drinks; beverages served in cold colors, like blue, seem more thirst-quenching; and drinks that are pink are perceived as more sugary. The findings could be beneficial to chefs and food manufacturers. (Rare steak on a white plate … grrr.)

Probiotics are live microorganisms that, when taken in adequate amounts, confer a health benefit. These so-called ‘good bacteria’ help break down and absorb nutrients, and are known to promote digestive health and immunity. But they’re not just in yogurt anymore. They’re now popping up in such non-edible products as skin cream, soil boosters, and cleaning products, touted as a way to ensure a healthy environment. The question is, has ‘probiotic’ simply become the latest catch-phrase in the healthy-natural-organic movement? At least one food microbiologist thinks so, saying the word is being ‘horribly overused and misrepresented’. (Likely because most of us have now caught on to the ‘green’ myth many products advertise.)
– Condensed from MercuryNews.com

The most successful TV touts over the past year as ranked by Jordan Whitney, a research firm that tracks infomercials …
5. ‘Ionic Breeze Air Purifier’, distributed by The Sharper Image.
4. ‘Showtime Rotisserie Pro Electric Rotisserie Oven’, distributed by Ronco.
3. ‘Proactiv Solution Acne Treatment’, distributed by Guthy-Renker.
2. ‘Carleton Sheets Real Estate Tutorial’, distributed by American Marketing Systems.
1. ‘Bowflex Home Gym’, distributed by Bowflex.
– ABCNews.com

Imagine visiting a Disney amusement park with no entry turnstiles. Cash? Passé, as visitors would wear rubber bracelets encoded with credit card information, snapping up corn dogs and ‘Mickey Mouse’ ears with a tap of the wrist. Now stop fantasizing … this may soon be the new reality. Disney’s new ‘Magic Band’ is a smart, disposable bracelet that is coded with admission privileges. No more cards or badges; this thing is all wireless. The electronic bracelets will also likely be used to track guests and to build loyalty … not to mention sales. So far no timeline for introduction of the new device has been announced. (And you thought ‘The Mouse’ was all-ears before.)
– NBCNews.com

• The average Mexican eats 430 eggs each year, the highest per capita amount of any nation.
– NPR.org
• Mexicans drink more bottled water per capita than any other country.
– “New York Times”


1947 [66] David Bowie (Jones), London UK, classic rock singer (“Fame”, “Space Oddity”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1996)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1997)

1967 [46] R (Robert) Kelly, Chicago IL, R&B singer (“Step In the Name of Love”, “Ignition”)

1973 [40] Sean Paul (Henriques), Kingston, Jamaica, pop-dancehall-reggae singer (“Temperature”, “Baby Boy”)

1979 [34] Sarah Polley, Toronto ON, movie director (“Take This Waltz”, “Away From Her”)/movie actress (“The Sweet Hereafter”)/former TV star (“Road to Avonlea”)

1983 [30] Disashi Lumumbo-Kasongo, Geneva NY, hip hop-rock guitarist (Gym Class Heroes-“Cupid’s Chokehold”)

• “Bubble Bath Day”, so don’t forget to feed the kids beans before their nightly soak!

• “Eat Something Raw Day”, designed to stimulate our interest in consuming fruits and vegetables. Spud, anyone?

• “Elvis Presley’s Birthday” (1935-77), the 78th anniversary of ‘The King’ being hatched in Tupelo, Mississippi. Another excuse to roll out more Presley product.

• “English Toffee Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey treat that rips the fillings right out of your teeth.

• “Learn to Ski Day”, a day to strap on the old boards and … fall on your ass.

• “Show & Tell Day at Work”, a chance for adults to partake in the kindergarten ritual with co-workers. A good day to have your crew each bring in something that makes a unique sound.

• “Women’s Day” (or “Midwife’s Day”) in Greece, when women spend the day in cafés while men do housework and look after children. Traditionally, men caught outside are stripped and doused with cold water!

2004 [09] Former Beatle George Harrison’s estate sues Dr Gilbert Lederman of Staten Island University Hospital for $10 million, alleging he forced a dying Harrison to sign souvenirs for him

1993 [20] US Postal Service issues Elvis Presley commemorative stamp on what would have been his 58th birthday (the all-time ‘thinnest Elvis’)

1926 [87] Abdul-Aziz ibn Sa’ud, the new king of Hejaz, renames his country ‘Saudi Arabia’

2004 [09] Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II christens the largest & most expensive passenger ship ever built, the billion-dollar ‘Queen Mary 2’ (Southampton, England)

[Wed] “People’s Choice Awards” (CBS)
[Wed] Static Electricity Day
[Thurs] Cut Your Energy Costs Day
[Thurs] League of Nations Day
[Fri] Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way Ball” North American leg begins (Vancouver)
This Week Is … Home Office Safety & Security Week
This Month Is … Volunteer Blood Donor Month


• They start paying everyone in sea shells.
• The Dairy Queen on the corner is threatening a hostile takeover.
• When you say, “See you tomorrow,” the watchman laughs uncontrollably.
• The CEO walks by your desk and says, “Hey, hey! Easy on the staples!”
• The conference room has been turned into a chinchilla farm.
• Your conversations at the watercooler are mainly with yourself.
• Your boss casually asks you if you know anything about starting fires.
• You’ve been getting a lot of memos in Chinese.

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

☎ Are there things your parents forgot to tell you?

Which is the old name for the country of Sri Lanka?
a. Spice Islands.
b. Mandalay.
c. Ceylon. [CORRECT]
d. East Pakistan.
– PaulsQuiz.com

Question: The average woman does THIS twice a day.
Answer: Complains about men.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person.

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