Wednesday, January 8, 2014           Edition: #5133

More From the Sheethouse!

★ Bruno Mars, Miley Cyrus, and One Direction lead “Forbes” magazine’s annual listing of influential young people in the music biz. The new top ‘30 Under 30’ list also includes female singers Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Lorde, Rihanna, and Taylor Swift; Canadians Drake and Justin Bieber; and DJs Avicii, Calvin Harris, and Zedd. Other famous names on the music list include J Cole, Janelle Monae, Kendrick Lamar, and Wiz Khalifa.
– Bang Showbiz
★ You’ve likely heard that one Sasheer Zamata has been selected as “Saturday Night Live’s” first black female cast member since Maya Rudolph left the show in 2007. So just who is she? The University of Virginia grad trained at NYC’s Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. She has plenty of experience writing & acting in scripted shorts. She’s also done stand-up comedy, performing on Comedy Central’s Comics to Watch Showcase. She’ll make her “SNL” debut on its next live show January 18th, when Drake will serve as both host and musical guest.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ Eva Longoria is looking hot on the cover of “Maxim” magazine’s January/February issue, in which she’s named ‘Woman Of the Year’. In the accompanying interview, Longoria says the honor is especially awesome considering how long it’s been since her first cover. She was ranked #1 on “Maxim’s” list of ‘Hottest Female Stars’ in 2005 and 2006, becoming the first to top the list in consecutive years. As well as being an actress, producer, businesswoman, and philanthropist, Longoria recently managed to complete her MA at university. The new issue is out January 17th.
– “USA Today”
★ And action-movie actor Steven Seagal says he is considering a run for Arizona governor. The 61-year-old made the announcement while promoting his reality TV series “Steven Seagal – Lawman: Maricopa County”. Seagal teamed with Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio for the Arizona-based show that airs on Reelz Channel. He’s also been deputized by sheriff’s offices in Louisiana, New Mexico, and Texas. His main issue if he became governor? Border security.
– Associated Press

• “Chicago PD” (NBC) – Series premiere of a new “Chicago Fire” spinoff from producer  Dick Wolf (“Law & Order” series). No-name cast.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Kin (“Get On It”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Tamar Braxton (“Love & War”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Yuna (“Nocturnal”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Vanish Valley (“Get God”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – John Grant (“Pale Green Ghosts”).
• “People’s Choice Awards” (CBS) – Beth Behrs & Kat Dennings (“2 Broke Girls”) host the 40th gala honoring fan favorites in movies, music, and TV from LA’s Nokia Theater. TV’s “Glee” (surprisingly?) leads total nominations with 8; followed by Katy Perry and Sandra Bullock with 5 each. Music nominees include Britney Spears, Bruno Mars, Imagine Dragons, Justin Timberlake, P!nk, and Taylor Swift. Performers include OneRepublic, Sara Bareilles.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Jack Clemons (“Embracing Light”).
• “Vampire Diaries” – The 1st issue of a new comic book published by DC Comics in partnership with the CW is out today. The comic, planned as an ongoing series spun off from the TV show, focuses on the century prior to ‘Stefan’ and ‘Damon’ finding ‘Isobel’.

• Black Sabbath – In a bit of an odd pairing, footwear maker Converse has signed the geezer-rockers to front the new Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Black Sabbath sneaker collection. The 5 new styles, inspired by the band’s album titles, will launch in the Spring. (Orthopedic shoes?)
• Calvin Harris – The 29-year-old DJ has asked 23-year-old Brit singer Rita Ora , whom he has been dating for almost a year, to share his mansion in Beverly Hills CA in a bid to stop their hectic schedules from destroying their relationship. She said ‘yes’.
• Lady Gaga – On her fan site, she blames her lackluster 2013 (including the flop “Artpop” album) on those who have ‘betrayed’ her. She accuses her now former team members of ‘mismanaging her time and health’ and ‘caring more about money than quality’. (Or maybe we’ve all just become exhausted with your increasingly lame attempts at causing a stir?)
• Ludacris – A judge has dismissed his request for a gag order on the mother of his newborn daughter, though his demand for a $1,700-a-month cap on child support is still under review. The baby’s mom, Tamika Fuller, claims that’s a paltry amount considering he spends $7,000-a-month on lawn care and $5,000-a-month on pets. (Dude, condoms are only a buck.)
• Queens Of the Stone Age – They’re planning to record another album this year. Josh Homme tells “Rolling Stone” they’re booked until September, but afterward they plan to jump in the studio and get going on a follow-up to last year’s “… Like Clockwork”.
• Pitbull – He’s admitted his first choice for his new single “Timber” was Rihanna, but she was busy making music with Shakira so he recorded it with Ke$ha instead.
• Rihanna – She’s teased the January 13th release of that duet with Shakira, “Can’t Remember to Forget You”, with a photo on Instagram. The single is taken from Shakira’s new album due in the Spring, her first English-language effort since 2009’s “She Wolf”.

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Frost Quake’ – A brief but loud ground tremor caused by underground moisture freezing, expanding, and then cracking due to the increased pressure. (As opposed to a ‘Schnoz Quake’, the brittle snap of your frozen nose falling off in bitter cold.)
• ‘Pig Ear’ – A raised triangular metal flange added to the edges of sidewalks and low walls to deter skateboarders. San Francisco CA, birthplace of street skateboarding, is also the first city to install these as deterrents.
• ‘Selfie Olympics’ –  The first viral meme of the year features a new twist on self-taken photos, with people snapping elaborate and athletic shots that live up to the Olympic slogan ‘faster, higher, stronger’. The stunts include door-hanging, acrobatic teeth brushing, and other bathroom-shot feats. (#SelfieOlympics, @SelfyGames, @TheSelfiesGame)

A new ranking based on donations and charitable efforts over the past year …
5. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.
4. Late actor Paul Walker.
3. Beyoncé.
2. One Direction.
1. Taylor Swift ($100,000 donation to Nashville Symphony, headlining benefit for homeless charity, etc).

You’ve heard about the new 110-inch TVs in the works from Korean electronics powerhouse Samsung? Well, budget TV maker Vizio is aiming to trump its competitor with a splashy new TV that’s even bigger … 120 inches. Vizio has introduced its new 4K Ultra HDTV at the 2014 Consumer Electronics Show, now underway in Las Vegas NV. The 10-foot screen weighs 400 lbs and claims 4 times the resolution of standard HD. Vizio hasn’t revealed when the TV will be in stores or how much it will cost. (When it goes on sale in South Korea, Samsung’s will be priced at – whoa! – $150,000.)

Christmas Day to Valentines Day is peak season for online dating sites. Tips on creating a perfect profile, based on the successes of some 4,000 online daters …
• Skip the selfies and opt for full-body shots taken by someone else; they generate more than 200% more responses.
• Photos showing a full smile do better than cleavage, muscles, or action shots.
• Don’t forget to spell-check. Correct grammar and spelling are important. People who have a profile with typos get 13% fewer responses.
• Men who use cheesy words like ‘hot’,’sexy’ or ‘cute’ reduce their chances of getting a response from a potential partner by 44%.
• Women who include emoticons such as smiley faces in their profiles get 60% more messages; but men who do so get 6% fewer than those who skip the smileys.

January’s biggest diet craze involves intermittent fasting. Trendy new regimes like ‘The Fast Diet’ and ‘Every Other Day’ demand that you fast for 2 or 3 days a week, but not completely … you eat a quarter of your regular intake, roughly 500 calories for women, 600 calories for men. Then you eat whatever you want on the remaining 5 days. The rewards for your efforts are incredible weight-loss and a reduced appetite, according to proponents. But some nutritionists warn that ‘IF’ diets can lead to nutrient deficiencies and poor eating habits, including overeating on non-fasting days. (Does inhaling an entire 12-slice pizza count?)

A new listing of the cost of living in cities worldwide, compiled by Expatistan using input from some 200,000 users …
5. NYC
4. Zurich
3. Geneva
2. Oslo
1. London
One of the major reasons London is priciest is the cost of gasoline (petrol), more than double the price of NYC. And the cost of rent certainly doesn’t help either. (What’s the most outlandish price you paid for something while traveling?)

Guinness World Records has confirmed that kick-boxing coach Etibar Elchyev has broken his own record for … most spoons balanced on a human body. The 41-year-old from Tbilisi, Georgia has successfully managed to maintain 53 metal spoons around his neck and chest. No wonder he’s been dubbed ‘the magnet man’. (The guy’s likely a really engaging dinner date.)

The dates in 2014 are distributed across the year in the same way as in 1986, meaning that if you can find a 28-year-old calendar kicking around … you can re-use it. (What a money-saver!)
– “Daily Mail”


1947 [67] David Bowie (Jones), London UK, classic rock singer (“Fame”, “Space Oddity”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1996)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1997)

1967 [47] R (Robert) Kelly, Chicago IL, R&B singer (“Step In the Name of Love”, “Ignition”)

1973 [41] Sean Paul (Henriques), Kingston, Jamaica, pop-dancehall-reggae singer (“Temperature”, “Baby Boy”)

1979 [35] Sarah Polley, Toronto ON, movie director (“Take This Waltz”, “Away From Her”)/movie actress (“The Sweet Hereafter”)/former TV actress (“Road to Avonlea”)

1983 [31] Disashi Lumumbo-Kasongo, Geneva NY, hip hop-rock guitarist (Gym Class Heroes-“Cupid’s Chokehold”)

• “Bubble Bath Day”, so don’t forget to feed the kids beans before their nightly soak!

• “Eat Something Raw Day”, designed to stimulate our interest in consuming fruits and vegetables. Spud, anyone?

• “Elvis Presley’s Birthday” (1935-77), the 79th anniversary of ‘The King’ being hatched in Tupelo, Mississippi. (Can you picture him as an old man?)

• “English Toffee Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey treat that rips the fillings right out of your teeth.

• “Learn to Ski Day”, a day to strap on the old boards and … fall on your ass.

• “Women’s Day” (or “Midwives Day”) in Greece, when women spend the day in cafés while men do housework and look after children. Traditionally, men caught outside are stripped and doused with cold water.

2004 [10] Former Beatle George Harrison’s estate sues Dr Gilbert Lederman of Staten Island University Hospital for $10 million, alleging he forced a dying Harrison to sign souvenirs for him

1926 [88] Abdul-Aziz ibn Sa’ud, the new king of Hejaz, renames his country ‘Saudi Arabia’

2004 [10] Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II christens the largest and most expensive passenger ship ever built, the billion-dollar ‘Queen Mary 2’ (Southampton, England)

[Thurs] Stepfathers Day
[Thurs] Organize Your Home Day
[Thurs] Word Nerd Day
[Fri] “The Legend of Hercules” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “Enlisted” debuts (FOX)
[Fri] Cut Your Energy Costs Day
This Week Is … Home Office Safety & Security Week
This Month Is … Volunteer Blood Donor Month


(A new color palette for young people moving into their first abode.)
• Patchouli Smoke S-95
• Maybe Mold 2066-80
• Locker Room Ooze HC-56
• Dorito S-26
• Condom Beige 806
• Fake Spray-on Tan PF-27
• That’s a Stain Interior/Exterior 2034-70
• Call of Duty Rustique 2-40
• Will Trade Rent For Favors, No Males Please Mauve HC-7
• Mayonnaise OC-85
– Thanks to Molly Taft

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals why are they made of meat?

☎ Most of us have gotten on board with the idea of avoiding (or at least reducing) use of disposable plastic water bottles, but now we’re going through those single-serving plastic coffee-machine cups by the millions. Shouldn’t we be demanding better (ie: biodegradable) packaging?

How many hairs are there in an average eyebrow?
a. 50
b. 350
c. 550 [CORRECT, unless you pluck.)
– “Trivia Quest Magazine”

Question: Lesbians are 4 times more likely than straight women to do THIS.
Answer. Drive a Subaru. (

If you have to ask, you are not entitled to know.

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