Monday, January 9, 2012        Edition: #4664

Bully For You!

• Beyoncé has given birth to a baby daughter, delivered via a scheduled Caesarean section on Saturday night at NYC’s Lenox Hill Hospital. ‘Ivy Blue Carter’ is the first child for the singer and her rapper-husband Jay-Z, who were married in 2008. A congratulatory tweet from Rihanna reads: “Welcome to the world princess Carter! Love Aunty Rih.” (In a non-existent press release, Beyoncé does not say that she’s ecstatic her days of wearing an uncomfortable inflatable baby-bump prosthetic are over.)

• A slew of famous faces picked up prizes at California’s 23rd annual “Palm Springs International Film Festival” on Saturday night. Among them …
✓ Glenn Close, ‘Career Achievement Award’ for her long-time contributions to film.
✓ George Clooney, ‘Chairman’s Award’ for “The Descendants” and “The Ides of March”.
✓ Brad Pitt, ‘Desert Palm Achievement Actor Award’ for “Moneyball”.
✓ Michelle Williams, ‘Desert Palm Achievement Actress Award’ for “My Week With Marilyn”.
✓ Gary Oldman, ‘International Star Award’.
• Actress Meryl Streep has hit back at British prime minister David Cameron after he criticized her portrayal of Margaret Thatcher as a vulnerable elderly woman in “The Iron Lady” (opening wide this Friday). Cameron questioned why the plot focused on Thatcher’s battle with dementia instead of her time in office as Britain’s 1st female prime minister. Streep says suggesting the film should have been delayed until Thatcher is dead is even more inappropriate. (The tough reality is, at this point she’s likely unaware of the entire controversy.)
– “Sunday Mirror”
• “Glee” stars Lea Michele, Jayma Mays, and Dianna Agron have teamed up to recreate scenes from the most iconic horror films for a new “Elle” magazine photo spread. Michele poses opposite “The Creature From the Black Lagoon” in one stylish black & white shot, while Agron conjures up memories of “Attack Of the 50-Foot Woman”, and Mays channels “The Birds” star Tippi Hedren. (Not only are the show’s stars scary, its ratings are frightful this season as well.)
– “Entertainment Tonight”
• Just as “American Idol” is set to kick off its 10th season (January 19th), word has it 37-year-old host Ryan Seacrest may be axed afterward when his latest 3-year contract comes to a close. An insider says producers are no longer willing to pay Ryan $15 million-per-season when he could be replaced for a paltry $2 million-to-$3 million. (BS translation: After the show survived the exit of Simon Cowell – and his estimated $50 million salary – it’s thought Seacrest’s leaving won’t hurt the bottom line either.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• And Indiana state senator Vaneta Becker is pushing a bill to impose a $25-fine on anyone who deviates from a set of standards in performing “The Star-Spangled Banner” at events sponsored by public schools and universities. According to Becker, the bill is not intended to punish those who flub a note or two while singing the anthem; she says it’s more about them respecting the words and the tune as it was originally intended. (She’s talkin’ to you, Ms Aguilera!)


• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Gavin DeGraw (“Sweeter”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – A very busy Gavin DeGraw (“Sweeter”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Uh Huh Her (“Nocturnes”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Biffy Clyro (“Only Revolutions”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Randy Houser (“They Call Me Cadillac”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Surfer Blood (“Tarot Classics”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Snow Patrol (“Fallen Empires”, out tomorrow).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Eli Young Band (“Life at Best”).


• Chris Brown – He’s announced a ban on all interviews in 2012. His manager tells “Billboard” the idea is to concentrate on performing and recording. Quote: “We’re not trying to be rude, selfish or disrespectful to anyone in any way. He signed up to sing and entertain, not to talk about his personal life.”
• Grateful Dead – Filmmaker Malcolm Leo is working on a documentary about the late Jerry Garcia and will build it around a 3-hour interview he conducted in 1987. Leo has secured the music rights to tell the story, something that has eluded others who were interested.
• Kanye West – MTV News has confirmed he’s been in talks about becoming the creative director for a proposed live-action movie version of the classic TV cartoon “The Jetsons”. Kanye initiated the discussion with the movie’s producers, telling them he’s a huge ‘Jetsons’ fan.
• Kelly Clarkson – She’s revealed that she always takes 2 little buddies on the road with her … her dogs ‘Joplin’ and ‘Security’. (What kind of name is that for a dog? “Sit, Sec!”)
• Jason Derulo – He’s had to cancel his upcoming tour due to a serious neck injury. The 22-year-old was practicing an acrobatic stage move when he landed on his head, fractured a vertebra, and was taken to hospital in Pembroke Pines, Florida. He’s since been released but has been ordered to wear a neck-brace for several months.
• Wiz Khalifa – He’s being sued by fellow Pittsburgh PA rapper Maxamillion (Max Warren), who claims the Wiz  hit “Black & Yellow” was lifted from his own song “Pink N Yellow”, which was copyrighted in 2008. He’d like at least $2.3 million for copyright infringement thank-you.
• Van Halen – They’ve revealed their new album, “A Different Kind Of Truth”, will be released February 7th. It’s the first original studio album with singer David Lee Roth since the band’s classic “1984”. A North American tour begins February 18th in Louisville, Kentucky.


Some of the most widely-circulated (and weirdest) theories surrounding the prediction that we’ll all die a horrible and gooey death this year …
• Alien Invasion – Conspiracy theorists claim that SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) has already detected 3 large alien spacecraft due to arrive on Earth sometime in 2012.
• Planet Nibiru – A planet-sized object which, according to believers, is set to collide with Earth in 2012. It’s under NASA surveillance, which (of course) the government is keeping top secret.
• Timewave Zero – American philosopher & ‘psychonaut’ Terence McKenna has devised a numerological formula that he claims proves the universe will reach ‘Infinite Complexity’ in 2012.
• Web Bot Prediction – A computer program known by the name ‘Web Bot’ has also predicted doomsday in 2012 based on … Internet chatter.
(By comparison, the popular prediction that things will end December 21, 2012 based on an old Mayan calendar seems almost sane.)
– “International Business Times”

A new Nielsen SoundScan ranking of the recording artists with the most (legal) downloads …
5. Taylor Swift (41.8 million digital downloads)
4. Lady Gaga (42.1 million)
3. Eminem (42.3)
2. Black Eyed Peas (42.4 million)
1. Rihanna (47.5 million)

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 99% of those accused of a crime in the Japanese legal system are convicted.
• 74% of high school students admit to cheating on an exam in 2011, according to Josephson Institute of Ethics.
• 45% of women surveyed think it would be ‘better for society’ if all wives stayed home and their husbands worked.
• 33% of men say their ‘fondest’ road trip memory as a child involves torturing their siblings in the backseat.
• 25% of us hide our valuables before hosting a party.
• 17% of us cannot wink.

Researchers in Germany have developed a lighting system that can make workers feel as though they’re working outside under the open sky. Scientists at the Stuttgart-based Fraunhofer Institute for Industrial Engineering say the system creates a feeling of spaciousness and freedom through a luminous ceiling that extends across an entire room and simulates lighting conditions that resemble those produced by passing clouds. The ceiling is composed of panels containing light-emitting diodes that illuminate the room throughout. (Or … for like a hundred-grand less … you could put in a skylight.)


Today Scott Thompson, former president of PayPal, takes over as CEO of troubled IT company Yahoo for which he’s eligible to make up to $26 million this year in salary, stock, and bonuses. (Yeah, that’ll fix them!)
– CNNMoney

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow recently told off a pal for disciplining her child, claiming that “saying ‘no’ is so limiting for them”.


1944 [68] Jimmy Page, Heston UK, classic rock musician (Led Zeppelin-“Stairway to Heaven”, “Whole Lotta Love”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1992-Yardbirds, 1995-Led Zeppelin)

1967 [45] Dave Matthews, Johannesburg, South Africa, alt-rock singer (Dave Matthews Band-“Where Are You Going”, “The Space Between”)/Farm Aid Board of Directors

1978 [34] AJ (Alexander James) McLean, West Palm Beach FL, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“Just Want You To Know”, “Shape of My Heart”)

1982 [30] Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (Kate Middleton), Reading UK, wife of Britain’s Prince William

1984 [28] Drew Brown, Boulder CO, rock guitarist (OneRepublic-“Apologize”, “Stop & Stare”)

1989 [23] Nina Dobrev, Sofia, Bulgaria (raised Toronto ON), TV actress (‘Elena Gilbert’/’Katherine Pierce’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009, “Degrassi: The Next Generation” 2006-09)  BS FACTOID: Online rumors suggest she may have secretly wed her 33-year-old co-star, Ian Somerhalder, sometime over the holiday season.

• “Clean Off Your Desk Day”, celebrated each year on the 2nd Monday of January to encourage us to get organized and cut the clutter.

• “Play God Day”. So what would you do if you were the Big Guy (Big Girl?) for a day?

• “Static Electricity Day”. Guess you can count on this being a bad-hair day.

• “Step-Fathers Day”, a day to honor ‘all step-fathers everywhere who come into our lives and hold a special place in our hearts’. You know … that boyfriend Mommy left Daddy for.

• “Wolf Moon”, the Full Moon of January that’s also been known as the ‘Old Moon’ and the ‘Moon After Yule’.

1951 [61] 1st ‘X-Rated Film’ premieres, in London UK (“La Vie Commence Demain”)

1975 [37] A lawsuit filed by Paul McCartney on December 31, 1970 finally reaches its conclusion with the legal dissolution of The Beatles

1932 [80] 1st recorded ‘Pink Snow’ falls as a dust storm mixes with snow over Durango, Colorado


1972 [40] 24-year-old Kareem Abdul-Jabbar leads the Milwaukee Bucks to a 120-104 victory over Wilt Chamberlain and the Los Angeles Lakers, breaking LA’s record 33-game winning streak, the longest of any professional sports team to that time

1975 [37] ‘Longest Continuous Yodel’ is recorded, lasting 5 hours & 3 minutes (“Stop that incessant caterwauling! Stop it … now!!!”)

[Tues] Cut Your Energy Costs Day
[Tues] United Nations Day
[Tues] Peculiar People Day
[Wed] “People’s Choice Awards” (CBS)
[Thurs] Pharmacists Day
[Thurs] Work Harder Day
[Thurs] “The Finder” series premiere (FOX)

Home Office Safety & Security Week / Soccer Coaches Week / Universal Letter Writing Week / Women’s Self-Empowerment Week / Vocation Awareness Week


A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”
• ‘Getting a little action’ means ‘I don’t need to take any fiber today’.
• Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
• ‘Getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.
• A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
• An ‘all nighter’ means not having to get up to pee.
– First published in “BS” 2001.

• How many people have 20/20 vision?
a. 1-out-of-2.
b. 1-out-of-3. [CORRECT]
c. 1-out-of-4.

• If your brain were a lightbulb, how many watts would it put out?
a. 10. [CORRECT.
b. 60.
c. 100.
– PA News

• Steve Jobs action figures. Beyond creepy!
• Wow, Morph Suits, in any color you like!


A little boy asks his grandpa to make a noise like a frog. Grandpa asks him, “Why?” Little boy replies, “Because Mommy said when you croak we’re all going to Disney World”.


Would you rather work for a male or female boss? Why?

Question: Despite written warnings, over half of us have done THIS knowingly.
Answer: Consumed food that has ‘expired’.


Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Dean Kavanagh @ 107.5 Switch Radio, Birmingham UK; Stu Startzell @ Jackson Hole Radio [KHOL] Jackson, Wyoming; Grace Giles @, East Orange, New Jersey; Matthew Kupka @ Peace FM [CHET] Chetwynd, British Columbia; and Mark Scott @ West Hull Community Radio [WHCR] Yorkshire UK.

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