Wednesday, July 5, 2006        Edition: #3320
Another Sheetload of Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY and Friday, 27-year-old singer/actress Brandy (“America’s Got Talent”, ex-“Moesha”) fills in on “The View” (ABC/CTV), a tryout at least one insider claims could lead to a full-time gig (oh oh, Star Jones Reynolds is about to erupt again) . . . TONIGHT the 90-minute premiere of “Rock Star: Supernova” (CBS/Global) introduces 15 contestants vying to be lead singer of a new supergroup that includes Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, ex-Metallica bassist Jason Newsted & Guns N’ Roses guitarist Gilby Clarke (2 of the competitors are Canadian – Vancouver’s Jenny Galt & Toronto’s Lukas Rossi) (competitors hail from not only North America, but Australia & Iceland) . . . TONIGHT “#1 Single” debuts on Life Network, a reality show in which ‘90s pop singer Lisa Loeb (“Stay [I Missed You]”, “I Do”) goes on a dating frenzy in NYC trying to hook up with ‘Mr Right’ (likely some guy who likes the ‘bookworm’ look) . . . Australian Prime Minister John Howard has called for the Oz version of the TV series “Big Brother” to be axed after a female contestant was allegedly assaulted by 2 male housemates (a little too much reality going on here) . . . 44-year-old newlywed “Desperate Housewives” star Marcia Cross is eager to have a child now that she’s wed stockbroker Tom Mahoney (JUNE 24); in fact, pals say she was planning to adopt even before she met her future hubby (whatever you do, don’t ask for advice from ‘Carlos & Gabrielle’) . . . Like many before her, actress Jennifer Aniston says what she really wants to do is direct , and she’s currently taking a course to learn how (maybe because “The Break Up” has been the single box office hit in a long line of failures – “Derailed”, “Rumor Has It …”, etc) . . . Spike TV’s premiere episode of “Blade: The Series” is now being offered for free at Apple’s iTunes Music Store until JULY 11th after drawing the largest audience for any program in the channel’s history (hey, a .05% share isn’t that impressive) . . . And new TV ratings from the UK show that England’s losing effort in the “World Cup” quarter-finals on the weekend drew an unbelievable 84% share of British TV viewers – even though they haven’t won the “World Cup” in 40 years (it’s the local version of the Toronto Maple Leafs!). 

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Celine Dion – TODAY she’s a guest on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated).
• Faith Hill/Tim McGraw – TONIGHT their “Soul 2 Soul II” tour hits New Orleans LA. Proceeds from the show will be donated to storm relief and half the floor seats have been set aside for Hurricane Katrina volunteer workers.
• Pussycat Dolls – TODAY they tear it up on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (CityTV).
• Rolling Stones – It looks as if they’ll play an outdoor show in Halifax SEPTEMBER 23rd. You’d think locals would be wary after LAST YEAR’s Moncton NB show, which cost the city close to $700,000. There are also rumors about Fall concerts in Vancouver, Regina, and Windsor ON.
• Spice Girls – Former ‘Posh Spice’, Victoria Beckham, is hosting a private dinner at her lavish British country estate ‘Beckingham Palace’ at which all 5 members plus former Svengali-manager Simon Fuller will discuss details of a proposed reunion. We’re betting the sit-down happens SATURDAY, the manufactured group’s 10th anniversary.
• Taylor Hicks – TONIGHT he headlines the 60-date “American Idols Live” tour that kicks off in Manchester NH and runs through SEPTEMBER 24th.

ETHICAL COMPUTER GAMES:
Software designers are developing a new breed of computer games that avoid violence and create a cyberspace with ‘real life’ content. Instead of blasting alien and zombie hordes, these so-called ‘ethical games’ allow users to role-play in a Darfur refugee camp, become a peacekeeper in the West Bank, or run the lives of a poverty-stricken family in Haiti. In the Darfur game, for example, players must forage for food and water while avoiding the murderous militia. Suzanne Saggerman, who organized the recent “Games For Change” conference in NYC, says these new games not only have real content, they can make a real impact on how we perceive the world. (And after all, that’s exactly what geeky 9-year-old gamers are seeking.)
– “GQ”

WORLD’S BIGGEST BEER DRINKERS:
Based on annual per-capita consumption …
5. Denmark     
4. Belgium      
3. Austria      
2. Germany      
1. Ireland
(Canada ranks 12th … surprised?)
(the UK ranks 6th, Australia 7th, and the USA 8th … surprised?)
– NationMaster.com

IT’S ABOUT TIME:
‘Time’ is the most commonly used noun in the English language, according to the publishers of the “Concise Oxford English Dictionary”. The rest of the top 10 nouns, in order: person, year, way, day, thing, man, world, life, and hand. (We’re guessing personal pronouns weren’t counted, otherwise ‘I’ and ‘me’ would be waaaaay out front.)
– AP

BS AMAZING FACT:
You are 7 times more likely to catch a cold in an airplane than on the ground because viruses thrive in dry conditions. (Nothing to do with the plague-infested seatmate who keeps sneezing in your coffee.)
– Aviation Health

CINEPLEX VS HOME:
A new poll of moviegoers indicates that 83% of those who see 10 or more movies per year in theaters also ‘frequently’ or ‘sometimes’ buy the DVD of the same movies. The Nielsen Entertainment study concludes that seeing movies in the theater and at home are not mutually exclusive practices. Theater owners contend they would be harmed significantly if movies were released in theaters and on DVD simultaneously. 36% of poll respondents say that if that was the case – they’d skip the multiplex. (And the 28-dollar bucket of popcorn.)
– “NY Times”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A look at life by the numbers …
• 90% of our co-workers have left work early in the past month. (But not you, you brown-noser.)
• 77% of women say their guy checking out other women really bothers them, but they realize men can’t help themselves. (Men are like photocopiers – they’re only good for reproduction.)
• 55% of women & 45% of men are dissatisfied with their appearance. (And experience proves that many who are satisfied, shouldn’t be.)
• 47% of Canadians spend more money than they bring in. (On trivial stuff like food, rent, taxes …)
• 37% of pet-owning couples say they would want their pet to attend their wedding. (Yeah, thanks for the ‘gift’, Rover.)
• 3% of single women have made a life decision based on their horoscope. (The stars say you aren’t getting lucky, dude.)

HOW TO GET A BUZZ AT WORK:
The Japanese have found a cure for nodding off at inappropriate times. The ‘Nap Alarm’, a device affixed to the ear, buzzes the moment a wearer’s head nods forward and emits a ticklish sensation that wakes them up and temporarily banishes the alpha waves that cause sleepiness. Few Japanese sleep for more than 6 hours a night and it’s common to see entire rows of office workers asleep on commuter trains. (I have no need for this – I have a wife with a sharp elbow.)
– “Wired”

CUTTING EDGE VOCAB:
• ‘Freegan’ – A person, usually a vegan, who consumes only food that is obtained by foraging, most often in the refuse from restaurants, grocery stores and other food retailers. (Basically, a ‘dumpster diver’ that gets hungry.)
• ‘Retro Running’ – Running backwards as a form of exercise. Doctors originally recommended it as physical therapy, and it’s often used by baseball pitchers or track runners in preliminary warm-ups. Nowadays backward races vary from sprints to 42K marathons. (We wonder … do you start at the finish line?)
• ‘Sightjogging’ – Sightseeing while running. Currently popular in Rome, where a trainer/tour guide leads fitness fanatics on a run around the ancient sites. (“And to your left you just missed seeing the Coliseum, thanks to the sweat running down into your eyes …”)

BETTING ON DISASTER:
Online gambling on hurricanes is becoming quite popular. Gaming site operators say that the combination of unpredictable weather conditions and the availability of historical data on hurricanes make for great odds-making possibilities. Wagers can now be placed in a variety of formats from ‘total number of hurricanes in the season’ to ‘category strength’ and ‘number of storms to make landfall’. Seems morbid, so why is it allowed? There are no regulations for betting sites located offshore. (We’re betting that ‘Gavin’ is this year’s wimpiest hurricane.)
– AHN

‘NET NO-NOS:
What drives you nuts when you visit a website? Here are some of the top annoyance factors as compiled by computer services company iFocus …
• Busy Banners – Whether they’re winking, blinking, flashing, or wiggling, they distract the eye from the actual content. That of course is the intent … but it’s annoying! And who buys something that annoys them?
• Endless Scrolling – Having to continuously scroll down to continue reading text slows the user down. Experts say we already read 25% slower onscreen than on-paper.
• How-To Pages – Sites that require the user to complete a tutorial on how to navigate and/or use the content. It violates the old ‘KISS’ rule: keep it simple, stupid.
• Invasive Advertising – Ads that cover the entire page or consume vast amounts of broadband capacity. That’s why the ‘Skip Ad’ or ‘Skip Intro’ button is so popular.
• Right-Column Clutter – With the right-hand side of the screen often filled with ads, users may as well scan with one eye closed. Conversely, when ads take up the entire left column, the user often has to scroll right to read the full text of the content.
(Maybe a good time to take another look at your station website?)
– “Toronto Star”

MOST BEAUTIFUL 30-SOMETHING WOMEN:
According to a poll of magazine readers, these ‘maturing’ women are hottest …
5. Charlize Theron (“Aeon Flux”), age 30.
4. Nicole Kidman (“Bewitched”), 39.
3. Halle Berry (“X-Men: The Last Stand”), 39.
2. Catherine Zeta-Jones (“The Legend of Zorro”), 36.
1. Kristin Davis (ex-“Sex & the City”), 31.
(Okay now, let’s do a list of the hottest women in their 80s …)
– “Eve Magazine”

THE BULL SHEET 07.05.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [63] Robbie Robertson, Toronto ON, classic rock musician (“Storyville”, The Band-“Music From Big Pink”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1994)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2003)

1950 [56] Huey Lewis (Hugh Anthony Cregg III), NYC, oldies singer (& the News -“I  Want a New Drug”, “The Power of Love”)/sometime actor (“Duets”, “Back to the Future”)

1959 [47] Marc Cohn, Cleveland OH, pop singer (“Walking In Memphis”)/wed to TV anchor Elizabeth Vargas (2002)
 
1963 [43] Edie Falco, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (‘Carmela Soprano’ on “The Sopranos” since 1999)

1980 [26] Jason Wade, Camarillo CA, rock singer/guitarist (Lifehouse-“You & Me”, “Hanging by a Moment”)

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
“Workaholics Day”, a day to remove your nose from the grindstone … just once. Maybe you’ll realize all you’re getting is a bloody nose.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1841 [165] Thomas Cook opens 1st ‘Travel Agency’ (the next week the first tourists are stranded in Pago Pago)

1865 [141] William Booth forms the ‘Salvation Army’ in London UK (creating a future source for my wardrobe)

1946 [60] ‘Bikini’ swimsuit design 1st shown in public at Paris press conference by designer Louis Reard who calls it ‘4 triangles of nothing’ (named after a tiny Pacific atoll where early atomic bomb tests were performed)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1937 [69] ‘Highest Maximum Air Temperature’ in Canada set at Yellow Grass SK … 45 C (no wonder the flippin’ grass is yellow)

COMING UP . . .
[Thus] Fried Chicken Day
[Thurs-July 14] Running of the Bulls (Pamplona, Spain)
[Fri] Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day
[Fri] “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Intern Appreciation Day
[Fri-July 16] Calgary Stampede
[Sat] Video Games Day
This Week Is … Special Recreation Week
This Month Is … Unassisted Home Birth Month (likely some guy’s idea)

BULL’S BITS

FALLING STARS:
Let’s see, we can cross off comedian Jan Murray and producer Aaron Spelling. Which famous folk will be next to kick? Here are some of the prime prospects, according to one online ‘dead pool’ …
• Cartoonist Joseph Barbera (Hanna-Barbera), age 95.
• Former US first lady Lady Bird Johnson, 94
• Former US president Gerald Ford, 93
• Movie actress Jane Wyman (“Magnificent Obsession”), 92.
• Movie actor Eli Wallach (“The Good, the Bad & the Ugly”), 91.
• Movie actor Kirk Douglas (“Spartacus”), 90.
• Wartime singer Vera Lynn (“The White Cliffs of Dover”), 89.
• Evangelist Billy Graham, 88.
• Former heavyweight champ Muhammad Ali, 64.
• Former British PM Margaret Thatcher, 81.
We like actor/comedian Jerry Lewis (80), actress Liz Taylor (74), film critic Roger Ebert (64) … and maybe Ben Mulroney (that ain’t gonna happen, we’re just wishin’).
NET: http://www.deathlist.net/

BS QUICK-PICK TRIVIA:
Just exactly what is the ‘formula’ in Formula 1 auto racing?
a. The type of fuel used in the race cars.
b. The set of rules that all participants & cars must adhere to. [CORRECT]
c. The point system that’s used to calculate the winner at the end of each season.
– AskMen.com

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: This might be a bit surprising but men do THIS 35% more than women do.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Talk on their cellphones.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
No matter how much you care, some people just don’t care back.

Refer a friend to “The Bull Sheet” and get a FREE MONTH! We bonus your account for each and every new subscriber you refer.


Printer Friendly Version