Tuesday, July 20, 2004        Edition: #2826
The Sheet Hits the Fans!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actress Carmen Electra (“Starsky & Hutch”) says she sometimes regrets having breast enhancement (from 32-B to 36-DD) but admits that since she did, her career has really taken off (and so has she – repeatedly) . . . 46-year-old Sharon Stone (“Catwoman”) has again shed her clothes, this time for a photo-shoot to accompany her upcoming “Rolling Stone” magazine interview . . . Actor Pierce Brosnan’s 34-year-old son Christopher has reportedly checked into a rehab clinic after being arrested at a London nightclub over suspected cellphone thefts . . . 18-year-old Lindsay Lohan (“Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen”) is now commanding $7.5 million per movie . . . Shooting on Tim Burton’s remake of “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” (starring Johnny Depp) had to be shut down after a crew member accidentally dropped a half-million-dollar camera lens into – a vat of synthetic chocolate . . . Actress Minnie Driver (“Good Will Hunting”) has landed a $1.8-million recording contract with EMI and will release her debut ‘atmospheric pop’ single “Everything I’ve Got In My Pocket” in SEPTEMBER . . . Word has it actor John Travolta is looking to write an autobiography and his people have been shopping publishing houses to see if there’s any interest . . . Actor Mark Wahlberg (“The Italian Job”) is producing a documentary about Shyne, the former P Diddy protégé now serving a 10-year sentence for assault, who signed a $3 million recording deal with Def Jam – from behind bars . . . “X-Men” director Bryan Singer is the latest to sign on with the much-delayed “Superman” movie, replacing McG (“Charlie’s Angels”) who dropped out a week ago . . . “Spider-Man 2″ topped the $300-million benchmark in just 19 days and now ranks as #20 all-time in domestic box office . . . And it seems the reality TV bar is about to be lowered again – FOX-TV is reportedly developing a reality series in which a young woman will try to figure out which of 16 men is actually her father (sounds like radio).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Counting Crows – The name comes from an old English rhyme that suggests life is ‘as pointless as counting crows’.
• Modest Mouse – The band hails from Issaquah WA. After “Lollapalooza” was canceled, they quickly threw together their own concert tour that began last weekend and runs through mid-September.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Starsky & Hutch (Action Comedy): In this bigscreen version of the 1970s TV show, a pair of streetwise cops (Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson) bust criminals in their red-and-white Ford Torino with the help of police snitch ‘Huggy Bear. (Snoop Dogg). DVD features out-takes, fashion insights from Snoop Dogg, and a spoof on those behind-the-scenes, making-of-the-movie documentaries.
• “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” (Comedy): Lindsay Lohan plays a teenage girl who’s convinced that her hometown revolves around her until her family packs up and moves to the suburbs, where she finds herself competing for attention. Interesting that the film was first offered to Lohan’s acting rival Hilary Duff, who had the good sense to turn it down. DVD includes Lohan’s music video “That Girl”.
• “The Human Stain” (Drama): Anthony Hopkins plays a distinguished professor at a prestigious New England college whose professional life is shattered by allegations of racism. He resurrects his life with a friendship with a writer (Gary Sinise) & a scandalous affair with a young woman (Nicole Kidman).
• “The Big Bounce” (Crime Comedy): Owen Wilson plays a surfer/drifter/con man who lands a job helping an elderly judge in Hawaii. His new gig leads to involvement with a beautiful, enterprising woman (Sara Foster) and a complex scam. Hard to believe a movie based on a novel by legendary writer Elmore Leonard (“Get Shorty”, “Out Of Sight”) and featuring a big-name cast that includes Charlie Sheen, Morgan Freeman & Gary Sinise could tank at the box office … but it did.
• “Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” (Musical Romance): Romola Garai plays an 18-year-old American who moves to Havana in 1958 and defies her parents’ wishes by hanging with a waiter who also happens to be a fantastic dancer (Diego Luna). This pseudo-follow-up to 1987’s “Dirty Dancing” features a cameo by the original film’s star, Patrick Swayze.

MONTRÉAL’S T-P TRAILER:
The makes of bathroom tissue Charmin have rigged a clever promotion during Montréal’s “Just for Laughs” comedy fest (ending SUNDAY) – an 18-wheel tractor trailer transformed into 27 home-like washrooms stocked with Charmin Ultra toilet paper. The so-called ‘Potty Palooza’ parked at the corner of Berri & Ontario Streets sure beats your average port-a-john – it features air conditioning, hardwood floors and uniformed attendants.
– CP

ODDS ARE:
On-line betting company WagerOnSports.com has already placed odds on the outcome of this year’s “Emmy Awards” (SEPTEMBER 19th). “The Sopranos” is favored to win all 3 major awards in the drama category – 3/2 odds to win ‘Best Drama Series’, 1/1 odds to win ‘Best Lead Actor in a Drama’ (James Gandolfini), and 6/5 to win ‘Best Lead Actress in a Drama’ (Edie Falco). Other favorites include “Arrested Development” (9/5 for ‘Best Comedy’), the late John Ritter (2/1 for ‘Best Actor in a Comedy’) and Jennifer Aniston (9/5 for ‘Best Actress in a Comedy’).
– “The Scoop”

GREAT NEWS FOR CHEAPSKATES:
Japan’s Hitachi Science Systems has unveiled what is believed to be the world’s smallest diamond ring. Measuring 0.02 mm in diameter with a mini-gem weighing 5-billionths of a carat, it can only be seen through a microscope. Why bother? It’s a publicity stunt to illustrate that the company’s hi-tech equipment can be used to make micro-machines. A digital microscope photo of the ring won the gold award at this year’s “Asia-Pacific Conference on Electron Microscopy”.
– ABC News

SPAM SELLS
According to a global survey of 37,000 Internet users, most people would be more devastated about losing e-mail access than losing their TV. And if you’ve ever wondered why you receive dozens of spam messages every day, it’s because – believe it or not – they work! The survey finds that a whopping 20% of Internet users have purchased products advertised through spam. (Meaning 1 in 5 people you know is a complete moron – well, not you of course.)
– azcentral.com

HOME ALONE:
According to figures from StatsCan, Canadians seem to be spending more and more leisure time at home – alone. In fact, researchers have found we spend an average of 34% of our  spare time that way. Why? A new  University of Toronto study suggests it may be due to a combination of factors – delayed marriages, fewer children, more separated or widowed people, and more who simply choose to live the single life. (Or maybe we’re just all getting uglier.)
– “Toronto Sun”

STIFFS UNDER THE SEA:
The world’s first ‘seabed cemetery’ will offer a final resting-place for up to 21,000 people. The “Atlantis Memorial Reef”, scheduled to be built in 40 feet of water on the ocean floor off the Florida Keys, will resemble a fantasy city with lofty columns, plazas and heroic statues  reminiscent of ancient Rome. The columns will be molded from a mixture of concrete and the cremated remains – or ‘cremains’ – of the recently deceased, up to 16 sets of ashes per column. The cost of molding cremains into a basic paving stone will be $1,500 but a lofty position atop a column will cost you $3,900. Relatives will be encouraged to don scuba gear and pay their respects at the watery graves.
– “Telegraph”
PHONER: 954.322.6633 (Gary Levine, AfterLife Services, Lauderdale FL)

A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND?
It’s not that Marilyn Monroe didn’t have se*x with other women, it’s just that actress Joan Crawford wasn’t her type. That’s what author Matthew Smith claims in his new book, “Marilyn’s Last Words: Her Secret Tapes & Mysterious Death”. Using recordings of Marilyn with her psychiatrist, the book reveals how she once rejected fading star Crawford’s advances while admitting she did have relations with other women. “I told her straight out I didn’t much enjoy doing it with a woman,” the sex goddess says on one of the tapes. “After I turned her down, she became spiteful.”
– “Daily News”

HOME FOR THE HOPS:
‘Homer Simpson’s’ greatest dream is about to come true – a ‘Beer Hall of Fame’! A Baltimore-based organization of beer lovers is currently searching for the perfect city to host the beer drinker’s ultimate vacation destination. The planned attraction will include 7 theme areas – a sports bar, Asian karaoke bar, German beer garden, plus Australian, Caribbean, British & Irish pubs. It will also feature 2,000 different bottled beers and more than 300 brews on tap, and include a brewery tour, beer museum, radio broadcast studio for a 24-hour satellite beer show, plus entertainment for kids and live music. An announcement of the location is planned – when else? – during “Oktoberfest”.
– “National Enquirer”

DON’T SQUASH ‘EM, FLICK ‘EM:
Keep this in mind next time pesky mosquitoes are driving you nuts – if you swat them, you may risk infections from their body parts that are smashed into your skin. Researchers investigating the case of a woman who died from an unusual fungal infection 2 years ago have concluded that she must have smashed a mosquito on her skin, smearing its body parts into the bite. Their recommendation – if a mosquito is in mid-bite, it’s wiser to flick it off rather than slapping it. For the record, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention disagrees, saying there’s no scientific basis for switching to flicking. (How about trapping and dismantling the little b*stards appendage by appen … oh, sorry.)
– “New England Journal of Medicine”

FOR THE RECORD:
Someone failed to do their homework! After 341 people in New Zealand thought they had set a new world record for ‘fire-walking’, they were informed by a “Guinness World Records” official that the record is judged on distance, not on the number of people taking part. Adding injury to insult, 28 of the participants had to be treated for burns after the event.
– Ananova

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• A University of North Carolina study has discovered that more than 75% of the fish sold as ‘red snapper’ in US stores is bogus. Other species are being labeled that way to increase their price.
• There are only seven ‘Honorary Harlem Globetrotters’. Among them – Pope John Paul II.

AND WE QUOTE:
“I’m at the point in my life where if you don’t want my peaches, don’t shake my tree. I’m into Happy Town, and if you don’t want to live in Happy Town, move, hit the friggin’ bricks, baby.”
– Sharon Stone in “Rolling Stone”, ranting on about something but we’re not quite sure what.

THE BULL SHEET 07.20.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [57] Carlos Santana, Autlan de Navarro MEX, pop musician (Santana-“Game of Love”, “Smooth”)/tied Michael Jackson’s record for most awards in one night at 2000 Grammy Awards by winning 8

1966 [38] Stone Gossard, Seattle WA, rock guitarist (Pearl Jam-“Last Kiss”)

1973 [31] Peter Forsberg, Ornskoldsvik SWE, NHL star center (Colorado Avalanche)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Chess Day”. (Well, I’ve got to run. My fan club is meeting and I promised I’d play chess with him.)

TODAY is “Moon Day”, the 35th anniversary of the first lunar landing in 1969. Apollo 11 astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first to walk on the moon as he proclaimed “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” while nearly 700 million Earthlings tuned in. Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin joined him later. Killer trivia question – who was the 3rd astronaut stuck orbiting above? (Mchael Collins)

TODAY-SUNDAY is the 24th annual “Hemingway Days Festival” in Key West FL, celebrating the lifestyle of famed author Ernest Hemingway. (You drink like a fish, then put a shotgun to your head.)
PHONER: 800.ASK.KEYS/305.461.3300 (Andy Newman/Maggie Pearson)
NET: http://www.fla-keys.com/hemingwaymedia/hem2004_intro.html

TODAY-Saturday some 125,000 babies and grown-ups are expected for the annual “National Baby Food Festival “ in Fremont MI (home of Gerber Foods). One festival competition requires adults to down 2 jars of baby food as fast as they can, typically 20 seconds or less. Other features events include the kiddie parade, baby crawl, and – yuck! – baby food cook-off.
PHONER: 800.592.2229

TODAY Texas-based pizza chain Cici’s will attempt to set a new record for the “World’s Largest Pizza Buffet” in celebration of it’s 500th franchise. Lucky customers get free pizza and free drinks for an hour-and-a-half this afternoon. The venue – Texas Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys.
PHONER: 972.745.9346
NET: http://www.cicispizza.com/largest_buffet.htm

TONIGHT the Detroit Tigers will be letting the dogs in — 400 of them to be exact – for the 2nd annual “Bark in the Park” promotion. Pooches and their human pals will be seated in the ‘Pooch Porch Pavilion’, a special section of the lower left field stands of Comerica Park for the game vs Minnesota Twins. In case of ‘emergency’, several fire hydrants will be set up at the back of the section. There’s also a special doggy water fountain and canine treats. The promotion is tied in with Detroit-area Pet Supplies Plus stores, where a single canine ticket and 2 human passes were offered free with the purchase of a large bag of Purina Pro Plan dog food.
NET: http://www.krnv.com/Global/story.asp?S=2029093&nav=8faQLUaa

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1992 [12] Madonna appears nude in “Playboy” (pre-stretchmarks)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1858 [146] 1st ‘admission’ charged at a baseball game as patrons pay 50 cents to see NY All-Stars beat Brooklyn 22-18 (but a plastic cup of watered-down beer was $18.50 – just like today)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1919 [85] Hottest-ever day in Ontario (42.2 C)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Junk Food Day
[Wed-July 26] 66th All-American Soap Box Derby World Championships (Akron OH)
[Thurs July 25] Manitoba Stampede & Exhibition (Morris MB)
[Thurs-July 31] Edmonton Klondike Days
[Fri] Hot Enough For Ya? Day
[Sat] Virtual Love Day
[Sat] World Toe Wrestling Championships (Wetton UK)
This Week Is . . . Avoid Boredom Week (so much for [co-host’s] party Friday night)
This Month Is . . . Purposeful Parenting Month (my purpose in parenting is – survival!)

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS WAYS FOR MADONNA TO TRULY ‘RE-INVENT’ HERSELF:

• Get a sex change, marry Britney.
• Run against Arnold for governor of California.
• Release a good album.
• Smile and wave to photographers.
• Retire.
– “Toronto Sun”

BUZZ INDEX:
The week’s most popular Web-searches in Canada …
1. Lindsay Lohan
2. Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
3. Britney Spears
4. “Spider-Man 2″
5. Maria Sharapova (the Russian tennis ace is hot … in more ways than one)
– Yahoo!

BS Q&A:
Q: 25 years ago THIS MONTH, this product debuted as the ‘Soundabout‘ but the name was quickly scrapped. What did it become better known as?
A: The Sony ‘Walkman’, which originally had a MSRP of $199.95.
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the best job perk you’ve ever heard of someone getting? (A California software company gives all its workers $5,000 bonuses that can only be spent on dream vacations. An Indiana company gives employees chances to win money at company meetings. Coolness!)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 1 in 11 guys would pull this on their fiancée if they could get away with it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Buy a fake engagement ring.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Too many people settle for the defaults.


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