Thursday, July 15, 2004        Edition: #2823
You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

THIS MORNING at 5:35 am PST Emmy winners Tony Shalhoub (“Monk”) and Edie Falco (“The Sopranos”) will announce the nominees for the “56th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards” (to be handed out SEPTEMBER 19th) . . . There’ll soon be 3 channels devoted exclusively to reality programing as FOX-TV launches the ‘Fox Reality Channel’ early NEXT YEAR to compete with ‘Reality Central’ and ‘Reality TV’ . . . Britney Spears has reportedly lambasted the makers of a replica doll, claiming it looks more like Meryl Streep than her (thought-provoking quote: “It’s not right and kind of weird.”) . . . Tiger Woods’ mother & the mother of his Swedish fiancée Elin Nordegren have been spotted scouting wedding sites around Stockholm, Sweden (word is a hitching’s gonna happen soon) . . . That treasure trove of previously unheard & unseen Beatles material discovered in an old suitcase bought for 50 bucks at an Australian flea market may be the long-lost personal archive of one Mal Evans, a sometime recording engineer and side musician for the Beatles who died in 1976 . . . Mary-Kate Olsen is extending her stint in rehab from a month to 6 weeks (odd for this time of year, but rumor is she’s snowed in) . . . Meantime “Save Mary-Kate” T-shirts, lunchboxes and (huh?) mousepads are now for sale on the Internet ( with proceeds going to – some unscrupulous but quick-witted entrepreneur (why not shirts saying “I’m with Cokehead”?).

• The Calling – TODAY they’re guests on “On Air With Ryan Seacrest”.
• Janet Jackson – Virgin Records plans to re-release her “Damita Jo” album in a revamped package with 6 new tracks, hoping to reignite interest in the struggling CD. Meantime, Janet is in talks to take over the lead role of ‘Rani’ in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Broadway musical “Bombay Dreams”.
• Sarah McLachlan – TONIGHT she does “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”
• Uncle Kracker – TONIGHT he guests on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.

Andy Serkis, who played ‘Gollum’ in “Lord of the Rings”, will next be playing the title role in Peter Jackson’s remake of “King Kong” … sort of – he’ll ‘ape’ the big monkey’s moves which will then be converted into CGI graphics . . . First it was ‘Middle Earth’, now New Zealand will become ‘Narnia’ for the upcoming film “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe”,  helmed by “Shrek 1 & 2″ director Andrew Adamson (slated for Christmas 2005 release) . . . Paramount Pictures is considering a remake of the “The Ten Commandments” after Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” made faith-based movies the hot new thing in Hollywood . . . Co-stars George Clooney, Matt Damon & Brad Pitt were reportedly the life of the party when “Ocean’s Twelve” completed shooting in Italy, helping the cast & crew blow some $470,000 on booze at the movie’s wild wrap party held at Clooney’s Lake Como estate . . . Clint Eastwood & Steven Spielberg are joining forces to bring the World War II battle of Iwo Jima to the bigscreen . . . Tom Hanks is set to star in a film based on the life of Dean Reed, an American singer, actor and filmmaker who had a 15-year career in East Germany before dying mysteriously in 1986 . . . And Ben Affleck has now dropped out of the soon-to-shoot “Glory Road”, in which he was scheduled to play a 1960s basketball coach, reportedly due to a dispute over profit sharing.

The hippest dog in Hollywood these days is the ‘Labradoodle’. A cross between a Labrador and a poodle, the dog was first bred by Australian Wally Cochrane for a blind woman who was allergic to her Labrador guide dog. By cross breeding with a poodle he created a dog that doesn’t shed, so no allergies. (Very 2004 and a lot more fun than a schitzu retriever cross!)

Spoof books parodying mega-hits like “Harry Potter” and “The Lord of The Rings” are becoming bestsellers themselves. Top parodies that have become popular include “Bored Of The Rings”,  “The McAtrix Derided”, and “Barry Trotter & The Shameless Parody” which has already spawned the follow-up “Barry Trotter & The Unnecessary Sequel” and author Michael Gerber’s upcoming sequel-to-the-sequel “Barry Trotter & The Dead Horse” due this Christmas. That series alone has sold over 300,000 copies!
– “Sun”

A new clothing design allows you to project a secret message that’s fun for others to decode. Vancouver-based company ‘Not Vanilla’ has come up with – the ‘Braille T-shirt’. With naughty messages written across the chest, the shirts encourage people to run their hands over them to find out what’s on your mind. If you turn up the bottom of the shirt , the translation is printed inside just above the hem. Messages include ‘Lickable’, ‘Use Me’, and ‘Spank It’. So far sales have been evenly split between men and women at $37 apiece. What about a station logo shirt in Braille? (I thought [co-host’s] girlfriend had one on but she said, “Those bumps aren’t Braille … I’m just small.”)
PHONER: 604.730.8576 (Pete Pallett)

The Ring’s End building store chain in Connecticut has a ‘Rent-A-Color’ program that allows customers to rent quarts of paint to try colors before committing to one. The $4 rental quarts have twist-off caps, so they can be re-sealed and returned for use by other customers. The innovative company also offers large pieces of paper in different colors so customers can decide if a particular hue works.
– “News-Times”

In a survey for Just for Men hair coloring, about 75% of those polled say the most notable sign of aging for men is – out-of-style clothing. Some of the more undesirable ensembles – ‘white shoes, a white belt & after-dinner-mint colored polyester jacket’, or how about ‘greying ponytail, faded rock concert T-shirt and jeans’ (known as the ‘The Full Nelson’ … Willie, that is).
– “Globe & Mail”

A team of explorers has discovered the wreckage of a WWII German U-boat 200 km (120 mi) south of Shelburne, Nova Scotia, the first ever found in Canadian waters. ‘U-215′ was a mine-laying sub that disappeared during combat off the Atlantic coast in 1942. The boat is said to be mostly intact, its hatches unopened, with the remains of 49 sailors still inside. The divers located the sub for an episode of the “National Geographic” TV program “The Sea Hunters”. (Maybe James Cameron can finally make another movie?)
– “Montréal Gazette”

Sony Corp plans to unveil its next-generation PlayStation video game console before the end of March 2005. But due to stiff competition from others, the company is being super secretive about the new product’s features and specifications. Sony’s PlayStation2 is the industry’s best-selling console though Microsoft’s Xbox and Nintendo’s GameCube have been gaining ground. Sony will also soon market ‘PlayStation Portable’, dubbed ‘PSP’, a handheld device with a color display, stereo speakers and wireless Internet for multiplayer games, music and videos. (Thereby further reducing the odds of you ever speaking to your teen again.)
– “Xposed” magazine

Along with soothing the senses, music seems to make kids smarter. University of Toronto researcher Glenn Schellenberg has found that weekly lessons in piano or voice help to increase the IQ level of 6-year-olds. His study seems to indicate that musical training exercises parts of the brain useful in mathematics, spatial intelligence and other intellectual pursuits. (From now on, kids forced to practice piano every day will refer to Schellenberg as ‘Satan’. In related news, piano playing dyslexics have higher QIs.)

The European Commission is taking Germany to the Luxembourg-based European Court of Justice for failing to stop the sale of – fake Parmesan cheese. The Italian cheese, formally called Parmigiano Reggiano, has had a European Union trademark since 1996. It can only be made in a designated region of northern Italy that includes Parma and Reggio Emilia, using a set recipe. By European law, any other cheese cannot be labeled ‘Parmesan’.
– Reuters

Now hear this! Belly-baring shirts, visible thong underwear and low-cut jeans are all out. Designer Alex Zabotto-Bentley says that by this winter those in the fashion know will be covering up with soft-flowing materials in longer tops with jeans. Why? When the bare-belly look first became popular 4 or 5 years ago it  was a bit looser, but since it has become cropped and tighter and gone from being cool to overtly se*xy and a turn-off. Zabotto-Bentley claims we reached the saturation point last summer. So what’s the next body part to get exposure? The ankle up to the thigh.
– “Daily Telegraph”

• 87% of mothers hug their kids at least once each day.
• 75% of women say the se*xiest men are fathers.
• 60% of wives would rather their husband be bald than have a beer belly.
• 51% of Instant Messaging users describe themselves as ‘very attractive’ or ‘quite attractive’.
• 42% of teenagers eat with their parents every day.
• 37% of wives would rather renew their wedding vows than have a bigger, better diamond ring.
• 20% of men from northern Britain iron their underwear.

Retirees Jim & Andrea Siscel of Seattle WA have completed a quest to visit every major- and minor-league ballpark in the US and Canada. It took nearly 3 seasons to complete their 55,604-mile project. Total cost – $27,000!
– “Seattle Times”


1946 [58] Linda Ronstadt, Tucson AZ, oldies singer (“You’re No Good”, “When Will I Be Loved”)

1951 [53] Jessie Ventura (James George Janos), Minneapolis MN, /former TV talk show host (MSNBC)/former Minnesota Governor (1999-2003)/former movie actor (“Batman & Robin”, “Predator”)/former wrestler (Jesse ‘The Body’-WWF)

1961 [43] Lolita Davidovich, London ON, movie actress (“Hollywood Homicide”, “Dark Blue”)/TV actress (“The Agency” 2001-03)

1961 [43] Forest Whitaker, Longview TX, movie actor (“Phone Booth”, “Panic Room”)/movie director (“Hope Floats”, “Waiting to Exhale”)

1972 [32] Scott Foley, Kansas City KS, movie actor (“Scream 3″)/ex-TV actor (“Felicity”, “Dawson’s Creek”)/ex-Mr Jennifer Garner

TODAY through July 25th the 22nd “Just For Laughs” comedy festival yucks it up in Montréal with over 2,000 shows, including more than 1,300 free events. This year’s fest is highlighted by the ‘Improv All Stars’ (including Drew Carey, Colin Mochrie, Greg Proops & Brad Sherwood), and ‘Triumph the Insult Comic Dog’ in his one-dog show “Make Poop Not War”.
PHONER: 514.845.3155 x2258 (Leisa Lee-PR Director)/514.790.4242 (Info Laugh Line)

TODAY is “St Swithun’s Day”, celebrated worldwide in honor of the 7th-century Bishop of Winchester. According to legend, if it rains on St Swithun’s Day it will rain for the next 40 days. If it is clear, no rain will fall for 40 days. This dumb idea was immortalized in GF Northall’s 1892 straining-to-rhyme poem …
“St Swithin’s Day if thou dost rain, For 40 days it will remain;
St Swithin’s Day if thou be fair, For 40 days ’twill rain na mair.”

TODAY Ron England of Los Angeles, that guy who collected a million pennies over 30 years on a bet, will finally get to cash them in. Spotting an excellent marketing stunt, Safeway supermarkets will allow him to use one of its CoinMaster machines to cash in his copper in exchange for a cheque for 10 grand. Far easier to carry around than 20,000 rolls of pennies!

TODAY is “Respect Canada Day” as declared by the US-based ‘Wellness Permission League’, a day to ‘show we know it’s not some strange northern province of America’. (In Canada, this is known as “Up Yours Day”.)

1996 [08] MSNBC debuts simultaneously on cable TV and the Internet

1869 [135] 1st use of ‘margarine’, by the French Navy (1st sailor exclaims “I can’t believe it’s not lard!”)

1902 [102] ‘3M Company’ founded (the people who purposely hide the end of the Scotch Tape)

1929 [75] 1st ‘airport hotel’ opens, in Oakland CA

1933 [71] 1st ‘solo flight around-the-world’, by Wiley Post (how come Lindbergh gets all the fame?)

1945 [59] 1st ‘Family Allowance’ cheques mailed in Canada (‘Baby Bonus’)

[Fri] “I, Robot” opens in movie theaters
[Sun] Cow Appreciation Day
[Sun] Stick Out Your Tongue Day
[Sun] National Ice Cream Day
[Tues] National Lollipop Day
[Wed] Junk Food Day
This Week Is . . . Therapeutic Recreation Week
This Month Is . . . Ice Cream Month


1. NYC
2. San Francisco CA
3. Québec City QC
4. Charleston SC
5. Santa Fe NM
6. Vancouver BC
7. Chicago IL
8. New Orleans LA
9. Victoria BC
10. Montréal QC
– “Travel & Leisure” magazine 2004 readers’ poll.

• What’s the absolute se*xiest job for a guy? (‘Firefighter’ topped a recent poll, followed by ‘Rock Star’. What about ‘Chef’? ‘Roadie’? ‘Bouncer’?)
• What’s the absolute se*xiest job for a woman? (‘Nurse’? ‘Actress’? ‘Teacher’? ‘Princess’? ‘Dental Hygienist’?)

Today’s Question: THIS vegetable has the fewest calories.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cucumber.

The squeaky wheel also gets replaced.

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