July 26, 2000                Wooly Bully                Edition:  #1854

• Start referring to your tool shed as the quote-unquote ‘summer house’.
• Take the kids to a car wash and tell them it’s Disney’s latest attraction, “The Land of Really Shiny Minivans”.
• When taking a car trip, keep freezer bags in the glove compartment in case you hit a steer.
• Take the kids to your new backyard attraction, “The Garden Slug Petting Zoo”.
• Save money at Hertz. With the right tools, ANY rental car can be a convertible.
• Go for a really long drive and wait for the kids to fall asleep. After they wake up, tell them they slept right through the Grand Canyon.
• Tell the family you’re going to the beach. Turn on “Survivor”.

TONIGHT was the scheduled concert date for Colorado’s Red Rocks Amphitheater that Britney Spears canceled because the venue couldn’t accommodate her massive stage production (the real reason she canceled is she saw a bumper sticker that said ‘Denver or Bust’ and thought she had to choose) . . . There’s no reason given for Farrah Franklin‘s departure from pop group Destiny’s Child (“Say My Name”, “Bills Bills Bills”), but it has been announced the remaining 3 members will now operate as a trio . . . Sick of “Survivor” yet? Mattel has just inked a deal with CBS-TV to produce a board game version due to hit stores in NOVEMBER (whoever draws the ‘Richard’ card has to get naked) . . . And soon you’ll be able to help save ‘Rocky the Rooster’ as the hit movie “Chicken Run” is being turned into a video game to be marketed later this year.


A new AOL online survey of some 90,000 respondents picks Richard as the “Survivor” contestant most likely to get the million-dollar prize. And despite recent speculation that he’s the winner, the poll chooses Gervase as the  contestant who should be booted off the island TONIGHT. (We’re bettin’ on Sean.)

Michael Ruiz of Madrid, Spain has just made history by becoming the first to actually eat 2 pick-up trucks and a Volkswagen Beetle, all within a 2-year period. On good days, he was swallowing an unbelievable 20 to 30 lbs of metal! (I’ve heard of Meals-on-Wheels but this goes too far!)

• There’s hope chocoholics! Researchers at London’s St George’s Hospital say a new skin patch that releases a vanilla aroma helps reduce cravings for chocolate and other sweets. Chocolate addicts who wore the patch in tests lost an average of 4.5 lbs. (Add one to your nicotine, Dramamine and allergy patches and you’ll have an entire shirt!)
• A 17-year-old Ohio student has won several science fairs with a fuel made from — salad oil. He’s now pitching it to automakers. The big plus — it costs just 32 cents a gallon to make. (“You wanna fill it up with Ranch or Thousand Islands?”)
• PETA will be upset, but US scientists have designed a robot that runs on meat! ‘Chew Chew the Gastrobot’ contains a fuel cell which breaks down meat with bacteria and converts it into electrical energy. (Don King immediately signed it to a long-term contract.)


1922    [78] Jason Robards, Chicago IL, still-working movie actor (“Magnolia”, 2 Oscars-“Julia”, “All the President’s Men”)/Lauren Bacall’s ex-
1943    [57] Mick (Michael Philip) Jagger, Dartford ENG, Rolling Stones wrinkle rocker/ex-Mr Jerry Hall VINTAGE MICK QUOTES: “When I’m 33 I quit, I don’t want to be a rock and roll singer all my life” (at age 26)/”I’d rather die than be 45 singing “Satisfaction”” (now enjoys worry-free sex with groupies who have gone through the change of life)
1959    [41] Kevin Spacey, South Orange NJ, movie actor (2 Oscars-“American Beauty”, “The Usual Suspects”) NOTE: He’s just signed to star in the sci-fi psychodrama “K-PAX” as a mental patient claiming to be from a far-away planet.
1964    [36] Sandra Bullock, Arlington VA, film actress (“28 Days”, “Forces of Nature”) NOTE: Her next film “Miss Congeniality”, about an FBI agent working undercover at a beauty pageant, opens in December.

Today is the “Day of St Anne”, honoring the patron saint of Canada, homemakers and miners.

The annual “Gilroy Garlic Festival” parties THIS WEEKEND in Gilroy CA, the self-proclaimed ‘garlic capital of the world’. Entries in the festival’s recipe contest must use at least 6 cloves of garlic! And some lucky contestant will be crowned ‘Garlic Queen’. (No vampires around this place!)
PHONER: 408-536-4200 (Janie Liebich)
NET: http://www.gilroygarlicfestival.com

1999    “The Haunting” starring Liam Neeson tops movie box office
1999    Shania Twain album “Come On Over” certified for sales of 12 MILLION units (the reason she doesn’t have to make any public appearances these days)

1958    [42] 1st ‘Hula Hoop’ (it was actually banned in Tokyo for a time due to the large number of traffic accidents it caused!)
1982     [18] 1st Canadian “Miss Universe” (Karen Baldwin-London ON)

1955     [45] Ted Allen throws a record 72 consecutive horseshoe ringers
1966    [34] Charles Christensen stays on-the-air for 277 consecutive hrs at KMEN Riverside CA

[Sun] National Cheesecake Day
National Laughter Week
National Picnic Month

Q: What does ‘Harry Potter’ author JK Rowling’s middle initial stand for?
A: Nothing. She uses ‘JK’ instead of her given name Joanne to make her books appeal to young boys, who normally won’t read books by women.

BS TAG LINE: You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

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