Wednesday, July 30, 2008        Edition: #3825
Get a Load of This Sheet!

It turns out the previously unidentified, uninjured passenger riding shotgun during actor Shia Labeouf’s wild DUI ride was his “Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen“ co-star, 23-year-old Aussie actress Isabel Lucas (who’s name recognition factor just got a huge boost) . . . 34-year-old Mario Lopez is set to anchor entertainment news magazine “Extra” when the syndicated TV show’s new season begins mid-SEPTEMBER, taking over for 40-year-old current host, Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray fame, who’s leaving to ‘focus on his musical career’ (BS translation: He was s––canned) . . . Actors Rebecca Romijn & Jerry O’Connell are the latest Hollywood couple to announce they’re expecting twins (doing double duty with diapers seems to be the new ‘in’ thing) . . . According to, eagle-eyed cinema-goers have spotted 16 bloopers in THIS SUMMER’s box office blockbuster, “The Dark Knight”, including continuity errors in hairstyles, mis-matched audio, and an additional police truck magically appearing in a chase scene (still nothing compared to the 40 errors documented for “Indiana Jones & the Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”) . . . The new season of “NBC’s Sunday Night Football” will be simulcast online (, but users won’t avoid all the commercials, they’ll just get different ones (iPhone football, anyone?) . . . “NY Post” claims that CBS-TV honcho Les Moonves wants to dump “CBS Evening News” anchor Katie Couric but is dithering as it would cost circa $40 million (you’d think she’d settle for $20 million NOT to do the news) . . . And “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest, who’s recovering after a shark-bite while swimming in the ocean, claims there’s a fragment of tooth still embedded in his foot (quick, somebody check Simon Cowell’s smile!).

• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Sheryl Crow is interviewed.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Minneapolis-based underground hip-hop group Atmosphere (“You”) performs.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The top 6 are paired with new partners and perform hip-hop, Broadway, and ballroom on a special 1-hour performance show..

• Amy Winehouse – She’s back home after being rushed to hospital for a ‘bad reaction to a new medication’, apparently introduced as part of her anti-drug treatment program. (Does this make sense? To quit drugs you take other drugs.)
• Chris Brown – He’ll soon be singing about Doublemint as gum-maker Wrigley’s ramps up a remix of its signature chewing gum jingles. Ne-Yo will update the Big Red ditty and dancer-turned-country singer Julianne Hough is set to sell Juicy Fruit.
• Chris de Burgh – The “Lady in Red” singer will perform in Tehran with an Iranian band in late NOVEMBER, the first such concert in Iran in nearly 30 years. (Coincidentally about the same period of time since he had a hit.)
• Fleetwood Mac – The classic rockers have announced a 2009 comeback tour will coincide with their 1st studio album in 6 years. (Hope the stage is wheelchair accessible.)
• Foo Fighters – Their recent London gigs that included collaborations with Led Zeppelin members will be released on the DVD, “Foo Fighters: Live at Wembley Stadium”, AUGUST 23rd.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s been announced as a headliner for THIS YEAR’s “Farm Aid” concert taking place SEPTEMBER 20th in Mansfield MA, near Boston.
• Madonna – Her longtime publicist  Liz Rosenberg says a report claiming her boss & hubby Guy Ritchie are planning to renew their wedding vows NEXT MONTH is ‘complete fiction’. (BS translation: They’ve had another big fight.)
• Mariah Carey – She’s denying rumors her marriage to Nick Cannon is already on the rocks by saying, “It’s good. Life is beautiful, and things are going well.” (BS translation: He’s been read the riot act … do as I say or you get no more weekly allowance.)
• Miley Cyrus – She says she expects this season of “Hannah Montana” to be her last but  the Disney Channel says no way. Meantime, she’s being offered $1 million to serve as spokesperson for … LifeStyles condoms. (Which just got about a million bucks worth of publicity by making the offer.)
• Nelly – The “Grillz” rapper has been named the 1st spokesmodel for the recently launched Sean John underwear collection. He’ll be featured in a Fall ad campaign. (Boxers or briefs?)

British physician Adam Fox has spent 4 years researching the worldwide secret language of acronyms & catchphrases used by medical personnel to describe patients, often in unflattering ways. Among his list of 200 of the most popular terms and their meanings …
• ‘GPO’ (‘Good For Parts Only’) … the patient is not doing at all well.
• ‘CTD’ (‘Circling the Drain’) … the patient is expected to die soon.
• ‘FLK’ (‘Funny Looking Kid’) … a child that certainly didn’t result from designer genes.
• ‘Handbag Positive’ … a confused elderly woman lying on a hospital bed clutching her purse.
• ‘Pumpkin Positive’ … a patient so dim that shining a penlight in the mouth would result in the entire head lighting up like a jack-o-lantern.
• ‘UBI’ (‘Unexplained Beer Injury’) … the patient managed to self-inflict harm while totally drunk.
• ‘DBI’ (‘Dirt Bag Index’) … An estimate of the number of days since the patient has had a bath. It’s calculated by multiplying the number of tattoos by … the number of missing teeth.

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Applejacked’ – Having your iPod stolen. (“Do me a solid and share one of your earbuds with me … I’ve been Applejacked.”)
• ‘E-burn’ – A humiliating insult delivered online. (“Jesse really e-burned Rachel by throwing up those embarrassing party pics on Facebook.”)
• ‘Fat Badge’ – A stain on the clothing as a result of sloppy eating. (“I see by your fat badge that you had lunch at Taco Bell.”)
• ‘Multislacking’ – Having 2 or more non-work-related webpages open on your work computer at once. (“I flip back to WordPerfect whenever someone stops by … but I’m actually multislacking between MySpace and YouTube.”)

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … air pollution raises blood pressure. Researchers have found that exposure to smog over a 10-week period can elevate hypertension. (Air pollution is a result of exhaust from vehicles. And if there’s anything that can get your blood up, it’s a traffic jam!)
• Scientists say … getting pregnant seems to be a good way to quit smoking. Research shows that pregnant smokers give up cigarettes more easily due to morning sickness and nausea, which decrease the desire to smoke. (It might work, but the patch takes far less commitment.)
• Scientists say … teenage girls who share daily family meals have a lesser tendency to use alcohol, tobacco, or cannabis. (Well hell ya, long family dinners tend to cut into your drinking time, no?)
• Scientists say … eating the ‘tomalley’ in Atlantic lobsters can result in exposure to toxins that cause Paralytic Shellfish Poisoning. (For the uninformed, ‘tomalley’ is that icky green goo found in a lobster’s digestive system. We say if you’re eating that crap … you deserve to get sick!)

Hoping to cater to everyone from garage bands to recording musicians, electronics chain Best Buy has announced a new initiative to set aside store space for musical instruments. It plans to open as many as 85 of the new music centers inside present stores by the end of the year and may add more in the future. Each site will feature roughly 1,000 different products by well-known brand names like Fender, Gibson, Drum Workshop, and Roland. (This will give them the inside track when marijuana is legalized.)
– AP

Actor Heath Ledger’s death from pharmaceutical overdose has pointed out that improper home medication has become an increasingly frequent problem. Highlights of a new study from the University of California at San Diego …
• There’s been a decades-long shift whereby we’re increasingly taking our medications at home, away from hospitals and clinics.
• Since 1983, domestic medication fatalities which did not involve alcohol or street drugs rose by 564%.
• There’s been a jaw-dropping 3,196% rise in the number of deaths at home caused by combining medications with alcohol and/or street drugs during the same period.
– Contact

UK entrepreneur Richard Branson has unveiled the specially-designed plane that will ferry paying passengers for Virgin Galactic, the space arm of his travel empire. The ‘WhiteKnightTwo’ is a high-altitude aircraft with twin fuselages and a 140-ft wingspan that will launch ‘SpaceShipTwo’ in midair at a height of about 50,000 ft, from where it will rocket into space. It’s hoped that the space tourism service can get underway within the next 2 years. Branson says some 200 customers have already signed up at a cost of $200,000 each. He expects the price to decrease dramatically over the next 5 years. Among those first in line to leave this world is physicist Stephen Hawking. (We’re starting a fund to send Paris Hilton … with a one-way ticket.)
– Reuters

• It’s been called the world’s worst pregnancy: Australian lizards called ‘stumpies’ must carry a foetus weighing more than a third as much as an adult, without any swelling or extra body space. The feat is equivalent to an average-sized woman giving birth to a 7-year-old child.
– Discovery Channel
• The last time a year’s top touring act earned less than $70 million was in 1999 when the Rolling Stones grossed $65 million from a relatively brief arena tour.
– “Pollstar Magazine”

“My life’s got to be flawless. It’s pretty simple when you think about it: Just don’t f— up. Someone like Lindsay Lohan’s personality is [more] famous than her performance. Part of me wants to go out and see my peers. But if I go to a club and get my picture in the press, then I am ‘that young Hollywood a–hole’. That would shatter my world.”
– Movie actor Shia LaBeouf, interviewed for  “Entertainment Weekly” June 8, 2007.

1941 [67] Paul Anka, Ottawa ON, oldies singer/songwriter (“My Way”, “Put Your Head On My Shoulder”)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1980)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2005)

1947 [61] Arnold Schwarzenegger, Thal, Austria, California governor since 2003/movie actor (“The Terminator”)/5-time ‘Mr Universe’/married to Maria Shriver since 1986

1948 [60] Jean [‘jhawn’] Reno, Casablanca, Morocco, movie actor (“The Da Vinci Code”, “Mission: Impossible”)

1961 [47] Laurence Fishburne, Augusta GA, movie actor (“21”, “Matrix” trilogy)

1963 [45] Lisa Kudrow, Encino CA, TV actress (“The Comeback” 2005, “Friends” 1994-2004)/movie actress (“PS I Love You”, “Analyze This“)

1964 [44] Dwayne O’Brien, Arlington TX, country guitarist/vocalist (Little Texas-“Life Goes On”, “My Love”)

1971 [37] Tom Green, Pembroke ON, TV comic (“Tom Green’s House Tonight”, “The Tom Green Show” 1997-99)/movie actor (“Road Trip”, “Charlie’s Angels”)/ex-Mr Drew Barrymore (2001-02)

1971 [37] Brad Hargreaves, Marin County CA, alt-rock drummer/vocalist (Third Eye Blind-“Never Let You Go”, “Jumper”)

1974 [34] Hilary Swank, Lincoln NE, movie actress (Oscars-“Million Dollar Baby”, “Boys Don’t Cry”)

1977 [31] Jaime Pressly, Kinston NC, TV actress (‘Joy Turner‘ on “My Name Is Earl” since 2005)/movie actress (“DOA: Dead or Alive”, “Not Another Teen Movie”)

• “Cheesecake Day”, a day to indulge yourself in one of the most decadent of all desserts.

• “Father-In-Law Day”, honoring the spousal parent that’s never been all that impressed with you … so why bother with a card?.

• “Kiss Your Car Day”, a day to show how much you really, really love her. But don’t forget this month’s payment or you can kiss your car … goodbye.

1952 [56] The ‘Dean of Soap Operas’, daytime drama “The Guiding Light”, debuts on CBS-TV

1999 [09] The horror flick “The Blair Witch Project” opens in theaters (only costs $60,000 to make but grosses some $250 million worldwide, making it the most profitable movie of all-time)

2003 [05] ‘SARStock Concert’ in Toronto draws 400,000-plus to see the Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Rush, Justin Timberlake, and others

2006 [02] After 42 years, the world’s longest running TV music show, “Top Of the Pops”, airs for the last time on Britain’s BBC 2

1898 [110] 1st ‘Corn Flakes’ invented by Will Kellogg (Battle Creek MI)

1898 [110] 1st ‘Automobile Ad’ as Winston Motorcar Co invites readers of “Scientific American” magazine to ‘Dispense with a horse!’  

1908 [100] 1st ‘Around-the-World Automobile Race’ ends in Paris, France

1930 [78] 1st ‘World Cup’ soccer final (Uruguay over Argentina 4-2 in Montevideo)

1962 [46] 1st traffic on ‘Trans-Canada Highway’, longest highway in North America at 7,307 km (4,384 miles)

1988 [20] Ronald Dossenbach begins record ‘Bike Ride Across Canada’ (Vancouver to Halifax in 13 days)

[Thurs] Mutts Day
[Fri] Respect for Parents Day
[Fri] Rounds Resounding Day
[Fri] Girlfriends Day
This Week Is … Scrabble Week
This Month Is … Tennis Month

• “Painted Up & Puttin’ Out” – Wynonna Widebottom
• “Ain’t Drunk, Just Pukin’” – Cooter
• “Wrangler Wedgie Shuffle” – Kid Skag & the Crackers
• “Drunk Tank Lovin’” – The Double-Wide Dandys
• “There’s Another Dude’s Cheese Doodle Prints on My Universal Remote” – Uncle Gordy
• “Hickey On My Tattoo” – The Spanklin Brothers
• “Tonight I Expectorate My Love For You” – Copenhagen Henry & the Chaw Boys
• “There’s a Queer in My Steer” – Rod Roughneck
• “Ten Gallon Toupee” – Tim McGraw

Summer blockbuster movies used to have theme songs that became monster hits. Are you missing them? (“The Dark Knight” is basically tuneless.)

Whenever I think about the past, it just brings back so many memories …

Today’s Question: A new study shows that women are more interested in THIS when they purchase something than men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Product safety.

Nothing’s impossible for those who don’t have to do it.

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