Tuesday, July 1, 2008        Edition: #3809
Nuthin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Online company Rhapsody has just joined the likes of Napster and Amazon in launching online MP3 stores to challenge iTunes’ 70% market share of digital music sales (Rhapsody will act as the music store for both MTV and Facebook’s iLike application) . . . The state of California has filed liens totaling almost $300,000 due to back taxes owed by “Austin Powers” actor and recent explicit homemade video star Verne Troyer (now the little guy’s in hawk big-time!) . . . First he pens a soon-to-release tell-all book, now Madonna’s 47-year-old brother Christopher Ciccone is said to be shopping a reality TV show based on his life as her sibling (they’ve obviously had a falling out since he served as her ‘artistic director’ in the ‘90s) . . . Friends of accused fraud artist Raffaello Follieri are claiming that “Get Smart” actress Anne Hathaway snitched on her ex-BF to the FBI then publicly broke up with him and left the country while the bust went down (he’s due in court JULY 9th) . . . Actress Nicollette Sheridan is set to return to “Desperate Housewives” (ABC) in her byatch-y role of ‘Edie Britt‘ after being written out of the show at the end of the 4th season, and word has it she’ll have a new romantic interest (if you’re truly trying to turn our collective stomach, why not make it real-life BF Michael Bolton?) . . . Hollywood couple Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary (is that plywood?) with a 2-hour patio dinner at Malibu CA’s Nobu restaurant, accompanied by acting pal Matt Damon & his preggers wife Luciana Barroso (they likely only ate outdoors so paps could more easily record the fact that the Ben & Jen split rumor isn’t true) . . . “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier is turning 32 JULY 10th and has allegedly been shopping his party, asking clubs in the Hamptons for $50,000 for ‘the honor’ of hosting it (taking our onscreen character a bit too seriously, are we?) . . . And check it – pistol-hot, Brit-based music producer Mark Ronson (Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen, Christina Aguilera, Nas) has been shocked to have an offer to work with pseudo-singer David Hasselhoff turned down, ‘The Hoff’ claiming he’s simply ‘too busy’ (until “America’s Got Talent” winds down and he goes back to crawling the carpet in Vegas hotel rooms).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Crue Fest” – Motley Crue’s 41-city summer rock festival tour kicks off in West Palm Beach FL. Opening acts include Buckcherry and Papa Roach. The Crue last toured with Aerosmith in 2006.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show (syndicated) – “Walking In Memphis” singer Marc Cohn is on.
• “The Fly” – An opera based on film director David Cronenberg’s 1986 horror thriller opens in Paris, France. The project is a collaboration between  Cronenberg, tenor Placido Domingo, and Oscar-winning “Lord Of the Rings” composer Howard Shore. (It’s creating some real ‘buzz’.)
• “Hell’s Kitchen” (FOX) – The final 2 chefs are asked to prepare their signature dishes.
• “I Survived a Japanese Game Show” (ABC) – 10 Americans, many who’ve never been out of the country, travel to Japan to compete in the ultimate game show. Winner gets $250,000.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson“ (CBS) – “Mercy” singer Duffy is the guest.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien (NBC) – ‘80s-‘90s alt-rockers They Might Be Giants are featured.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly (syndicated) – Country duo Montgomery Gentry (“Back When I Knew It All”) entertains.
• Willie’s Place – Country star Willie Nelson’s alternative-fuel truck stop & entertainment hub at Carl’s Corner TX celebrates its grand re-opening. Ray Wylie Hubbard and David Allan Coe perform all week in the newly-renovated ‘Earth Bio-Willie Theater’, named for Nelson’s brand of renewable bio-diesel. Willie himself headlines an all-day show THURSDAY.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – Brit tabs are reporting that she went right back into hospital for treatment of her lung problems after her wacky weekend “Glastonbury Festival” gig where she belted a fan.
• Britney Spears – Rumor has it she may perform at the “MTV Video Music Awards“ again. Her embarrassing “Gimme More” comeback performance during LAST YEAR’s event in Las Vegas was one of the most-talked TV moments of 2007. The 2008 “VMAs” air live from Paramount Pictures Studios in Los Angeles SEPTEMBER 7th.
• Hall & Oates – John Oates, the mustachio-ed half of the ‘70s-‘80s pop-singing duo (“Kiss On My List”) will star as himself in a new TV cartoon. A 10-minute pilot for the program, currently titled “J-Stache”, will be completed within the next couple of months.
• Incubus – They’re planning a break to pursue a variety of endeavors. On AUGUST 23rd, for instance, guitarist Mike Einziger will unveil an orchestral piece in concert at Royce Hall on the campus of UCLA in Los Angeles.
• John Mayer – He & GF Jennifer Aniston appear to be making it work. Both recently spent time in Amsterdam where he played a set onstage, then waited around while she finished promoting her new film, “Marley & Me”.
• Prince – He’s threatening legal action against a group of Norwegian musicians who put together a cover-song tribute collection in honor of his 50th birthday unless all copies are destroyed. The 5,000-copy, 5-disc box set reportedly made no profit whatsoever.
• Rolling Stones – 61-year-old guitarist Ronnie Wood recently checked himself into rehab (again) after taking part in a wine-tasting session because he didn’t want to fall off the wagon and miss his daughter’s wedding. He didn’t … he dried out in time and made it.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Drillbit Taylor“ ( Comedy ): A pair of nerdy high-school freshmen hire a low-rent soldier-of-fortune (Owen Wilson) to protect them from a sadistic bully. They soon become aware that he’s anything but skilled in the art of protection and more interested in a hot teacher. Co-stars Alex Frost, Josh Peck, and Leslie Mann. Available in an ‘Unrated Extended Survival Edition’.
• “Meet the Browns” ( Comedy ): Angela Basset plays a struggling single mom in Chicago who packs up her kids and heads to Georgia for the funeral of the father she never met. There she gets to know her crazy extended family and, just maybe, Mr Right. Adapted by Tyler Perry from his popular stage play. Also comes in a ‘Two-Disc Special Edition’.
• “My Blueberry Nights” ( Romantic Comedy ): Singer Norah Jones makes her screen debut as a young woman who takes a soul-searching journey across America and encounters a series of offbeat characters along the way. The first English-language picture from celebrated Chinese writer/director Kar Wai Wong co-stars Jude Law, Rachel Weisz, and Natalie Portman.
• “Vantage Point” ( Thriller ): Dennis Quaid & Matthew Fox star as Secret Service agents desperately trying to track down whoever assassinated the US president (William Hurt) while he was making a speech in Spain. Co-stars Forest Whitaker (“Last King of Scotland”) & Sigourney Weaver (“Aliens”). ‘Two-Disc Special Edition’ available.
• Also released TODAY: “Batman: The Movie – Special Edition”; “The Closer: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “Heathers: 20th High School Reunion Edition”; “Hellboy: Limited Edition 2-Pack”; “Outer Limits The Original Series: Complete Series” (TV); and “Walker, Texas Ranger 6 Season Pack” (TV).

OOHS, AHHS, AND OWS:
Fireworks can be a real hazard for children. Eye injuries are the most common mishap after burns. Pediatrician Dr Jeffrey Gruen offers this advice: in case of eye injury, do not let the child rub the eye. Instead, place a protective patch over it. Do not give aspirin or ibuprofen because both can thin the blood. Go immediately to an emergency room, even if there is no pain after a blunt impact injury. Serious eye injuries from blunt impact can occur days later. (Alarmists remind you that this would never have happened if your kid had been wearing a helmet.)
– RevolutionHealth.com

FAKING IT:
Tired of checking under rocks trying to find ‘Mr Right’? Increasingly, women who are tired of looking for the perfect guy are ordering up virtual boyfriends online. It seems being wooed by a cybersweetie provides far fewer hassles. Hottie avatar ‘Sergio’, for instance, promises a hot chat on a lonely night, a friend to stand by you, and someone you can tell all your troubles. What’s kinda creepy is … he remembers everything you tell him. (But, unlike a real guy, he never forgets to put the seat down … or for that matter even puts it up.)
Net: http://sergioboyfriend.com
– CosmoDaily

BEST EMCEE ON TV:
Here’s a good argument starter … who’s currently the most adept TV game show host? Based on likable personality, flaw-free delivery, and keeping the action moving without hogging the spotlight, we rank them this way …
5. Drew Carey, “The Price Is Right Million Dollar Spectacular”.
4. Ryan Seacrest, “American Idol”.
3. Regis Philin, “Million Dollar Password”.
2. Bill Bellamy, “Last Comic Standing”.
1. Cat Deeley, “So You Think You Can Dance”.
Among those we’d like to give a smack upside the head: Billy Ray Cyrus, “Nashville Star”; Mark L Walberg, “Moment of Truth”; Jerry Springer, “America’s Got Talent”; and Al Roker, “Celebrity Family Feud“.
– BS original

BEEHIVE OF CONCERN:
Could strawberry ice cream disappear from our lives? The folks at Haagen-Dazs are worried enough that they and others are mounting a campaign to halt the shocking decline of bees, the pollinators of strawberry plants and about 90% of the rest of terrestrial plant life. The company says more than 40% of its flavors are derived from fruits and nuts which depend on honeybees to exist. Honeybees mysteriously began to abandon their colonies in 2006, since destroying more than a third of US hives. (We found them! Whenever we try to eat out on the patio, we keep getting buzzed.)
– “San Francisco Chronicle”

BULLY FOR YOU:
Summer’s here and it’s time for kids to hit the playground. Problem is, the same meanies who do the bullying in schoolyards are also there, and they tend to up the ante because they know they’re unlikely to get caught. Jodee Blanco, author of 2 books on bullying, offers the following advice …
• Don’t tell children to ignore bullies. They may take the message literally and think you don’t consider it important, so they shouldn’t either.
• Encourage your child to look the bully in the eye. Your child should firmly tell the bully, “Stop, you’re hurting me.”
• Have your child walk away from hostile situations, saying “See you later.”
– “Milwaukee Journal Sentinel”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Every year in the United States, people toss out $80-million in metals including gold, copper, and platinum when they discard their old cellphones.
– DiscoverMagazine.com

BS CHRONOMETER 07.01.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [63] Deborah Harry, Miami FL, classic rock singer (Blondie-“Call Me”, “Heart of Glass”)

1951 [57] Fred Schneider, Newark NJ, rock singer (The B-52′s-“Funplex”, “Love Shack”)

1952 [56] Dan Aykroyd, Ottawa ON, Canada, movie actor (“Blues Brothers”, “Driving Miss Daisy”)/ex-TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 1975-79)

1967 [41] Pamela Anderson, Ladysmith BC, Canada, movie actress (“Borat”)/former TV actress (“Baywatch” 1992-97, “Home Improvement” 1991-93) who’s appeared on 6 “Playboy” covers/ex-Mrs Rick Saloman (2007-08)/ex-Mrs Kid Rock (2006)/ex-Mrs Tommy Lee (1995-98)  FACTOID: THIS WEEK while promoting her upcoming appearance on the Aussie version of “Celebrity Big Brother” on Australian radio, she called Jessica Simpson a ‘bitch’ and a ‘whore’.

1971 [37] Missy Elliott (Melissa Elliott), Portsmouth VA, hip-hop artist (w/Ciara- “1, 2 Step”, “Work It”) /5-time Grammy Award winner

1977 [31] Liv Tyler, NYC, movie actress (“The Incredible Hulk”, “Lord Of the Rings” trilogy)/daughter of Aerosmith’s Steve Tyler & former “Playboy” playmate Bebe Buell

1982 [26] Hilarie Burton, Sterling VA, TV actress (‘Peyton Sawyer’ on “One Tree Hill” since 2003)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canada Day”, the country’s national day which celebrates nationhood in 1867.

• “Financial Freedom Day”, a day to plan the path of future financial wealth. (Also known as “Buy a Lottery Ticket Day”.)

• “Frozen Yogurt Day”, saluting the stuff that sorta tastes like ice cream but doesn’t make you as fat.

• “International Joke Day” celebrating humor from around-the-world. (Nothing like a joke in Swahili!)

• “National Postal Worker Day” in America, to honor past and present postal workers for their service and dedication in serving the American people. 45 years ago TODAY (1963), the US Postal Service introduced the Zone Improvement Plan, better known as the ‘ZIP Code’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1941 [67] Bulova Watch pays $9 for the 1st ‘Network TV Commercial’

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1979 [29] ‘Sony Walkman’ is introduced

1998 [10] Singer/actress/diva Barbra Streisand & actor/director James Brolin are married at her Malibu CA home

2007 [01] Britain’s Prince William & Prince Harry throw a massive concert in memory of their late mother, Princess Diana, on what would have been her 46th birthday (Wimbledon UK)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1874 [134] 1st ‘Zoo’ in America opens (Philadelphia PA)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] “Hancock” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] Compliment Your Mirror Day
[Thurs] Dog Days of Summer Begin
[Thurs] Stay Out of the Sun Day
[Thurs] Roswell UFO Festival begins
[Fri] Independence Day (no BS service)
[Fri] 13th World Wife Carrying Championships begin (Sonkajarvi, Finland)

THIS WEEK IS …
Be Kind to New Jersey Week / Canned Luncheon Meat Week / Character Counts Week / Music For Life Week / Nude Recreation Week / Pleasure Week / Unassisted Homebirth Week

BULL’S BITS
BS PICKUP LINES TO USE WHILE MOVING:
• “Nice shoes. Wanna put them in that box over there?”
• “Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because the movers are going to be here soon, so we should put it in bubble wrap.”
• “Your father must have been a thief, because I can’t find the duct tape.”
• “The word of the day is ‘tarp’. What do you say we go back to my place and spread the word?”
• “Mind if I put my junk in your box?”
• “If this bed’s not rockin’ … maybe it’s not worth taking to the new place?”
– Thanks to Alison Rosen

BS RANDOM JOKE:
How many of you out there believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands …

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you had to choose a TV personality to be president of the United States, who would you pick?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Researchers have discovered that the more children a woman has, the fewer of THESE she’s likely to have.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Teeth.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The longer you keep your temper, the better it will get.


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