Wednesday, July 2, 2008        Edition: #3810
Get a Load of This Sheet!

“My Name Is Earl” (NBC) star Jason Lee has been spotted applying for a marriage licence with his pregnant model-girlfriend Ceren Alkac (he already has a 6-year-old son via an ex-fiancée, cruelly named ‘Pilot Inspektor’) . . . Partying actor Matthew McConaughey reportedly lost more than just his flip-flops during a recent surfing trip to Nicaragua, as thieves made off with $2,000 in cash plus his cellphone (somebody now has the digits for a long list of hotties) . . . Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden has nixed the idea of GF Paris Hilton getting a tattoo because he wants her to remain ‘pure’ (dude, it is sooo too late for that) . . . Actor Eddie Murphy is hinting that the upcoming movie, “Beverly Hills Cop 4”, may be his last because he wants to get back to standup comedy (BS translation: I’ve completely run out of hit films that I can make lame sequels to) . . . Kristy Lee Cook, the horse-loving “American Idol 7” finalist, has just signed a record deal with Sony BMG Nashville and her first single, “15 Minutes of Shame”, is expected out in AUGUST . . . “Gossip Girl” (CW) star Ed Westwick has again denied rumors that he’s dating co-star Chace Crawford, insisting they just live together and there’s nothing more to it (yet, dammit!) . . . Former “The Hills” star Heidi Montag says her next ‘career move’ (don’t choke on that) will be singing Christian music because she’s ‘always felt this crazy connection to God’ (especially if it will sell records) . . . And the upcoming book, “The Curious World of Drugs & Their Friends”, promises to detail ‘fascinating facts about every conceivable kind of drug and the people who take them’, including past and/or present users Amy Winehouse, Elton John, Courtney Love, George Michael, and Whitney Houston (if they’re gonna cover all the drug use in show biz, this is destined to be one fat tome!).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Country star Keith Urban (“You Look Good in My Shirt”) entertains.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jewel promotes her new album “Perfectly Clear”.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – ‘70s disco queen Donna Summer is onstage.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – “American Idol 7” winner David Cook performs.

• Alicia Keys – She says she’s decided to retire by age 30 so she can spend the rest of her life traveling the world. If she follows through on that goal, she has 2 years left.
• Bon Jovi – As previously rumored, they’ll play a free concert in NYC’s Central Park. The JULY 12th event is being tied in with the JULY 15th “All-Star Baseball Game” at Yankee Stadium.
• Britney Spears – She’s said to be house-hunting for a place with a larger yard, that’s closer to parks and recreation areas for her 2 boys … now that she actually gets to see them again.
• Elton John – He’s just notched his 200th performance of “The Red Piano” show at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.
• Led Zeppelin – Guitarist Jimmy Page has been awarded an honorary doctorate degree from Britain’s University of Surrey. (For inventing the riff to “Kashmir”?)
• Madonna – NY Yankees star Alex Rodriguez (‘A-Rod’) has reportedly made numerous solo nighttime visits to her NYC apartment. He also went to her APRIL 30th concert and she later attended her first-ever Yankee game. (Hmm.)
• Panic At The Disco! – They’ve confirmed they’re teaming up with rapper Snoop Dogg for an unusual collaboration. The idea apparently hatched after the 2 acts shared the stage at a recent gig in Germany, where they jammed on Snoop’s tune “Gin & Juice”.
• Stompin’ Tom – The Canadian icon has gone digital. YESTERDAY 5 of his classic albums, including “Bud The Spud”, became available on iTunes.

“Hancock” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ): Select theaters had special advance screenings LAST NIGHT. The storyline involves a public relations professional (Jason Bateman) who comes up with a plan to repair the shoddy rep of an apathetic, hard-living superhero (Will Smith) who’s fallen out of favor with the public. Co-stars Charlize Theron. The film is preceded by the trailer for the upcoming ‘James Bond’ film, “Quantum of Solace”.

A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 75% of women surveyed say that sun-tanning is a ‘huge turn-on’.
• 50% of women aged 25-to-34 spend at least half their earnings on debt, according to “Glamour” magazine.
• 46% of managers won’t hold lateness against you if you do good work.
• 25% of adults now have at least 1 tattoo.
• 11% of those on the “Forbes 400“ rich list never graduated from college.
• 4% of all fatalities involve work-related causes. (One of them’s gonna happen this morning if [co-host] doesn’t shape up!)

People in most countries around-the-world are happier these days, according to newly released data from the World Values Survey based at the University of Michigan. A comparison of polls in 97 countries conducted over 25 years shows that the so-called ‘Happiness Index’ has risen  in the majority of them. The latest results suggest that Denmark is the happiest nation in the world; Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, and Switzerland rank among the 10 happiest; and New Zealand places 15th, followed by the USA. The least happy place on Earth? Zimbabwe. (That’s because the average annual income is 2 snails and a bag of rocks.)
– Xinhua News Service

Dan Westfall, the Palm Springs CA owner of the chimpanzee who played ‘Tarzan’s movie sidekick in the 1930s and ‘40s, has announced the 76-year-old ape has a book and DVD on the way. ‘Cheeta’, who is certified by the “Guinness Book of World Records” as ‘World’s Oldest Living Simian’ will release the memoir, “Me Cheeta”, NEXT YEAR as well as a cover version of the 1976 hit tune “Convoy”. A music video will also be available for purchase. Westfall has previously marketed Cheeta’s abstract paintings, which sold for as much as $10,000. (This is one talented monkey … what’s he need Dan for?)
– “NY Post”

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Crowdfunding’ – Getting a large group of people to finance a project by using a website or other online tool to solicit funds. (“That guy in Australia trying to crowdfund his future by auctioning off his life on eBay came up a little short. He only made about $382,000.”)
• ‘Requel’ – A movie that features the same subject matter as an earlier film, but which is not a remake or a sequel continuing the plot line. Film critic Roger Ebert says nearly every ‘James Bond’ film has been requeled at least once, and “Star Treks” 7 and 10 were both requels of “The Wrath of Khan”.
• ‘Study Technology’ – A teaching method developed by Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard that will be used at the New Village Academy, the Will Smith-funded school that’s repeatedly said to have absolutely ‘no religious affiliation’. (If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck …)

• In China, a man has divorced his wife and is suing her for circa $100,000 after he discovered … she used to be ugly. After his attractive wife gave birth to a homely baby daughter she finally admitted that she’d had over $150,000-worth of plastic surgery before meeting him. Upon seeing a photo of his wife before the makeover, the incensed hubby immediately filed for divorce and is taking her to court. (This jerk could use an extreme personality makeover.)
– “Daily Times”
• In the Netherlands, 15 camels, 2 zebras, and an undetermined number of llamas and potbellied pigs escaped from a traveling circus after … a giraffe kicked a hole in their cage. Amsterdam authorities say the fugitives wandered en masse through the city for hours before being rounded up by cops, circus workers, and dogs. (“Madagascar 2”?)
– “NY Post”
• In Britain, 39-year-old artist Martin Creed, who once won the UK’s prestigious Turner Prize for an exhibit of lights switching on & off, has just unveiled his latest effort. “Work #850” consists of athletes taking turns running 282 ft along London’s Tate Britain art museum every 30 seconds … for the next 4 months. (A similar exhibit will be featured in Beijing at the Olympics. It’s called ‘track & field’.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

Fitness expert Bob Harper from “The Biggest Loser“ (NBC) outlines ‘trigger foods’ to avoid in order to nip those cravings in the bud …
• Sugar Substitutes – Products such as Sweet’n Low and Splenda are great for adding sweetness, but using them too much might trigger your craving for something really sweet.
• Salt – Foods high in sodium, including Chinese takeout, canned soups, and some frozen dinners not only make you retain fluids but also act as an appetite stimulant.
• Fat – Foods high in fat, including ice cream, baked goods, and chips, can add up far too many calories, upsetting your goals for the day.
• Alcohol – An occasional glass of wine or light beer is a true pleasure but it’s easy to forget that booze contains a lot of hidden calories – 80-to-90 calories per glass of wine and 120 per beer. Alcohol also lowers inhibitions and may lead to less-than-healthy food choices. (Not to mention partners.)
– “Chatelaine”

• Use of baby soothers appears to increase the risk of recurrent ear infections in children by 90%, according to Dutch researchers who’ve followed 500 youngsters over 5 years. (On the other hand, not using baby soothers appears to increase the risk of parental lack of sleep.)
– BBC News
• Britain’s Prince Charles has outfitted his hot Aston Martin DB6 sports car with an engine that will run on 100% bio-fuel distilled from surplus British wine. (It would be even better if it ran on those horrible ‘mushy peas’ they eat over ‘ome.)

1947 [61] Larry David, Brooklyn NY, TV actor/director (“Curb Your Enthusiasm” since 2000)/TV producer/writer (co-creator of “Seinfeld” 1990-98)

1949 [59] Roy Bittan, Queens NY, rock keyboardist (E Street Band)

1956 [52] Jerry Hall, Gonzalez TX, former model/sometime movie actress (“Batman”)/reality TV personality (“Kept)/stage actress (“High Society”)/ex-Mrs Mick Jagger (1990-99)

1979 [29] Joe Thornton, London ON, NHL center (San Jose Sharks)

1983 [25] Michelle Branch, Flagstaff AZ, country singer (The Wreckers-“Leave the Pieces”)/pop singer (w/Santana-“The Game of Love”)

1985 [23] Ashley Tisdale, West Deal NJ, TV actress (‘Sharpay Evans’ in “High School Musical”)

1986 [22] Lindsay Lohan, NYC, movie actress (“Freaky Friday”, “Mean Girls”)/multi-visit rehab veteran  UP NEXT: Now filming the romantic comedy “Labor Pains”, due for a 2009 release.

• “Be Nice to People You Don’t Like Day”. Just for one day … then tomorrow you can go back to being the grouchy old boor you usually are.

• “I Forgot Day”, set aside to make up for all the birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions that you forgot to acknowledge over the past year. (What’s the lamest excuse anyone ever laid on you?)

1958 [50] Ed Wood’s “Plan 9 From Outer Space” premieres, the movie many cite as the worst of all-time

1985 [23] Microsoft releases the 1st version of “Windows” but few computers are powerful enough to run it  FACTOID: THIS WEEK website InfoWorld has begun an online petition urging Microsoft NOT to discontinue sales of ‘Windows XP’ to retailers and PC manufacturers. The website, like many programmers, contends ‘XP’s successor ‘Windows Vista’ is not a meaningfully better program so users should not be forced to upgrade.

2002 [06] Adventurer Steve Fossett becomes the 1st person to fly solo around-the-world nonstop in a balloon

1982 [26] Using a lawn chair hoisted by 42 helium-filled weather balloons, Larry Walters slowly rises 16,000 ft over San Pedro CA

2005 [03] Paul McCartney & Bono’s performance of “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” at “Live 8” sets Guinness World Record for ‘Fastest Concert Recording to Digital Download’, becoming available online just 44 minutes, 39 seconds after it is performed live

[Thurs] Compliment Your Mirror Day
[Thurs] Dog Days of Summer Begin
[Fri] Independence Day (USA)
[Fri] Jonas Brothers tour begins (Toronto)
[Fri] Country Music Day
[Fri] Calgary Stampede begins
[Fri] Barbecue Day
[Fri] Independence From Meat Day
[Fri] 2008 Essence Music Festival (New Orleans)
This Week Is … Unassisted Home Birth Week
This Month Is … Bikini Month

• To help cats get used to a move to a new house, hang a wind chime in the old house then re-hang at the new place. The sound helps them find their way home after they’ve been out.
• Use plain white paper tablecloths for kids parties. Put out some crayons, too. Fast eaters can sit and draw while others finish their food.
• If you grow fresh herbs, crop them and freeze them in ice-cube trays. They will stay fresh until you need them.
• Keep cut flowers alive by giving them sugar for food and a spoon of lemon juice, which will allow the plant to absorb water more easily. A drop of bleach will prevent bacteria.
• Don’t pick berries into a deep bucket. The weight of the top berries will damage the berries on the bottom. Instead, fill small containers. Of course, if you are going to make jam it won’t make much difference.
– “The Abacus”

If I didn’t have to work so hard, I’d have more time to be depressed.

Q: Which are there more kinds of – butterflies or moths?
A: Scientists have identified in excess of 130,000 species of moth, but just 18,000 species of butterfly.

Thanks to the environmental movement and increasing numbers of retiring Boomers, 59-year-old Susan McLucas of Somerville MA says enrollment in her adult bicycle riding class has nearly doubled since 2006. For 23 years she’s operated the ‘Bicycle Barn & Riding School’ in a barn behind her home, geared to teaching adults who never learned to pedal a 2-wheeler. Lessons are $25 apiece or $92 for the full set of 4. Is it true you never forget how to fall off a bike?
PHONER: 617.623.2784 / 617.776.6524 / 617.501.9125

If you could, in retrospect, thank one person for what they taught you, who would it be, and what would you thank them for?

Today’s Question: You can increase your chances of having an idea if you do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Lie down.

What you enjoy is much more important then what you have.

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