Tuesday, July 8, 2008        Edition: #3814
Sweet Sheet!

Cynthia Rodriguez, estranged wife of NY Yankees star Alex Rodriguez, has filed for divorce in Miami, blaming their busted marriage on his ‘long period of infidelity’ (Madonna has issued a statement saying – basically – it wasn’t me!) . . . At the mid-point of 2008, album sales have registered an 11% decline compared to the same period a year ago, according to Nielsen SoundScan (as a tribute to the CD, we’re playing “Taps” – from a download) . . . The Osbourne family (Ozzy, Sharon, Jack, Kelly) are returning to TV with a 6-episode-at-least FOX variety series featuring music & comedy sketches, to be launched with a Christmas special (this would’ve been edgy – 5 years ago) . . . Steven ‘Doc Hollywood’ Hoefflin, a cosmetic surgeon to the stars who’s worked on the likes of Sylvester Stallone, Donald Trump, and Michael Jackson has checked himself into an LA hospital psych ward after learning 2 former business partners are suing him for $100 million (or maybe he caught a glimpse of a recent photo of Michael?) . . . Bindi Irwin, the soon-to-be-10-year-old host of Discovery Channel’s “Bindi the Jungle Girl” and daughter of late “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin, is getting her own doll THIS FALL, a 10-inch outdoor action figure in khakis, pigtails, and hiking boots that utters phrases like, “Crikey! Let’s go help wildlife!” . . . And an Australian funeral home says only 2 traditional hymns rank among its top 10 most requested funeral songs (“Amazing Grace”, “Abide With Me”) as many final wishes now request rock classics like Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” and AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell”.

• “Celebrity Family Feud” (NBC) – The cast of “The Office” faces off against the cast of “American Gladiators”, while the cast & crew of “My Name Is Earl” compete against each other.
• “Country Sings Disney” – A new CD compilation is released featuring country stars (ie: Brad Paisley, Faith Hill, Rascal Flatts, Tim McGraw, and others) performing tunes from Disney projects (“Bambi II”, “Cars”, “Hannah Montana”, etc).
• “Hell’s Kitchen” (FOX/CityTV) – Chef Gordon Ramsey crowns a new winner and awards a $250,000 job at his New York restaurant.
• Jully Black – The “Seven Day Fool” singer performs in Ottawa at “Bluesfest”.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – UK soul singer Adele (“Chasing Pavements”) performs.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – Los Lonely Boys (“Heaven”) are on.

• Buckcherry – A tune called “Too Drunk …” from their upcoming new album has been ‘leaked’ on the Internet. As the band provides a link to it on their own website, skeptics might conclude the so-called leak was intended.
• Britney Spears – Reports say she’s considering doing a video piece for giant onstage screens to be used in Madonna’s upcoming “Sticky & Sweet” tour that starts NEXT MONTH.
• Kanye West – He’s reportedly enrolling in anger management classes to tackle his frequent mood swings. Just an idea here but … are there ego management classes?
• Keith Urban – YESTERDAY he & actress-wife Nicole Kidman welcomed a baby daughter whom they’ve named ‘Sunday Rose Kidman Urban’. Uh, shouldn’t she be named ‘Monday’?
• Led Zeppelin – Their thundering riffs are among the most sought after by music gamemakers, but guitarist Jimmy Page and his bandmates have repeatedly turned down offers from both Activision (“Guitar Hero”) and MTV (“Rock Band”).
• Usher – He’s reportedly considering re-hiring his mother Jonetta Patton as his manager after his latest album, “Here I Stand”, failed to live up to expectations.

• “The Ruins” ( Horror ): When 4 friends on vacation in Mexico decide to visit an archeological dig, they are pursued by an ancient evil that has reawakened. Cast includes Jonathan Tucker (“In the Valley of Elah”), Jena Malone (“Into the Wild”), and Vancouver actor Shawn Ashmore (“X-Men”). Filmed in Australia.
• “Stop-Loss” ( Drama ): Ryan Phillippe plays a soldier back home in a small Texas town after his tour of duty in Iraq is officially over. When he and an army buddy (Channing Tatum) are called back to active duty, they struggle to decide whether to follow orders. Co-stars Aussie actress Abbie Cornish (Phillippe’s GF) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (“3rd Rock from the Sun”).
• “Superhero Movie” ( Action Comedy ): In the tradition of the “Scary Movie” films and “Meet the Spartans”, this satire sends up the superhero genre, including “Spider-Man”. Drake Bell plays an average teen who gains superpowers after he’s bitten by a genetically-altered dragonfly. Co-stars spoof-film veteran Leslie Nielsen (“Naked Gun” movies).
• Also released TODAY: “Batman Begins Limited Edition Gift Set”; “Batman: Gotham Knight – 2-Disc Collector’s Edition” (Animation); “Joe Strummer: The Future is Unwritten” (Documentary); “Monk: Season 6” (TV); “The Mummy: 2-Disc Deluxe Edition”; and “Van Helsing: Collector’s Edition”.

• In Arizona, Phoenix police responded to a routine call to break up a domestic dispute between a couple only to find a lone man … arguing with himself. According to investigators, the 21-year-old was changing the pitch of his voice and acting out each part of the argument while destroying the inside of his apartment. (Seems it no longer takes two to tangle.)
• In Britain, a panel of judges at the Court of Appeal has ruled that it is illegal to ogle a woman’s chest … but not a man’s. The legal eagles have decided only women’s breasts can be regarded as ‘private parts’ whereas the male chest – even if it entails man breasts or ‘moobs’ – can not. (People aren’t so much ‘ogling’ as staring in disbelief at a guy with the nerve to wander the beach shirtless.)
• In Mexico, a wildlife sanctuary is attempting to care for over 500 scorpions, lizards, tarantulas, frogs, salamanders, and snakes which were left behind at Mexico City International Airport a couple of weeks ago. So far 170 of the animals have died and the country’s Environment Department plans to release the rest back into the wild if the owner doesn’t soon come forward. (Makes “Snakes On a Plane” seem kind of tame, no?)

A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 49% of women cannot instantly recognize their left from their right.
• 42% of women wish they had long hair, but only 19% do.
• 40% of those making $75,000 or more bring a gift when visiting a friend’s house, compared to just 15% of those making $35,000.
• 33% of us have taken a nap at work. Some employers are now actually encouraging it with special ‘sleep rooms’.
• 30% of all the world’s automobiles are in the USA.
• 25% of families argue about who will cut the grass on a weekly basis.

Now that just about everybody has their own MP3 player, what are we to do with all those outmoded CDs we spent years collecting? How about using them as …
• Sidewalk/driveway reflectors instead of those ugly orange reflectors.
• A template for drawing the perfect circle … in either of 2 sizes.
• A decorative sun catcher, made by gluing 2 together with the shiny sides out.
• Holiday ornaments. Cut ‘em, paint ‘em, hang ‘em.
• A candle-holder specifically designed to catch melting wax.
• Inexpensive and quirky wall art for a teen’s room. Use in place of wallpaper border.
• Artistic bowls, made by placing in the oven on low heat over a metal bowl until the CD is soft.
• A funky clock face for a clockwork sold by arts & crafts stores.
• Coasters, easily constructed by covering one side with felt.
(What about killer ninja frisbees?)
– “Reader’s Digest”

New research from Yale University suggests that people who have more men in their inner groups and/or families have lower self-esteem. Why? Probably because men provide less ego-boosting support than women. The study also shows that having a male supervisor leads to lower self-esteem than having a female boss. (In related news. You guys are doing a really great job this morning … and lookin’ good, too!)
– “Psychology Today“

In ultra-superstitious China, the legend is growing that each of the 5 Olympic mascots have foretold a different disaster befalling the country due to the 2008 Beijing Games. According to online theories, here are the mascots (their ominous alternative names) and the mayhem they have purportedly predicted …
• Huanhuan the Olympic Flame (‘Bearer of Incendiary Strife’) … The many protests which plagued the Olympic Torch Relay.
• Jingjing the Giant Panda (‘Lord of Angry Earth’) … The massive earthquake that killed 69,000 and left over a million homeless.
• Yingying the Tibetan Antelope (‘Creature of Righteous Unrest’) … The demonstrations and riots linked with Tibetan protesters.
• Nini the Swallow (‘Bearer of Unfortunate Wind’) … The China Railway train crash which killed 72 people.
• Beibei the Chinese Sturgeon (‘Bringer of Torrent & Flood’) … The massive flooding in Sichuan province in the past month.
(Well, at least all the disasters are over with BEFORE the games begin.)
– Reuters

Psst! Wanna send your name to the Moon? NASA has set up a website where you can fill in your name, which will then be entered in a database on a microchip to be integrated onto the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter. The deadline for submitting your name is JULY 25th. The LRO is scheduled to launch in late 2008.
NET: http://lro.jhuapl.edu/NameToMoon/index.php
– neatorama.com

In Taiwan, a mass gathering has set a new Guinness World Record for ‘Most People Receiving Foot Massage’ (reflexology) simultaneously. 1,008 reflexologists and 1,008 tourists joined in the event organized by the Taiwan Tourism Bureau to promote health tourism. (Wow, that’s some toe jam!)
– huaxia.com

• A queen honey bee lays 2,000 eggs a day yet lives 10 times longer than her worker bees, despite being genetically identical to them. (So how come there’s a shortage of bees?)
• The caterpillar has more than 2,000 muscles. (Should be featured in “Body Builder” magazine.)

1944 [64] Jeffrey Tambor, San Francisco CA, TV actor (“Arrested Development” since 2003-06, “The Larry Sanders Show” 1992-98)

1948 [60] Raffi (Cavoukian), Cairo, Egypt (raised Toronto), children’s singer (“The Wheels On the Bus”, “Baby Beluga”)/Order of Canada (1983)

1951 [57] Anjelica Huston, Santa Monica CA, movie actress (“The Addams Family“, 1986 Oscar-“Prizzi’s Honor”)

1958 [50] Kevin Bacon, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“Mystic River”, “A Few Good Men”)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2003)
1961 [47] Toby Keith, Clinton OK, country singer (“Love Me If You Can”, “As Good as I Once Was”)/sometime movie actor (“Beer For My Horses” opening AUGUST 8th, “Broken Bridges”)

1968 [40] Billy Crudup, Manhasset NY, movie actor (“Mission: Impossible III”, “Almost Famous”)

1970 [38] Beck (Hansen), LA CA, alt-rock singer (“Girl”, “E-Pro”)

1977 [31] Milo Ventimiglia, Anaheim CA, TV actor (‘Peter Petrelli’ on “Heroes” since 2006)

1982 [26] Sophia Bush, Pasadena CA, TV actress (‘Brooke Davis’ on “One Tree Hill” since 2003)

1985 [23] Jamie Cook, Sheffield UK, indie rock guitarist (Arctic Monkeys-“Leave Before the Lights Come On”, “I Bet You Look Good On the Dancefloor”)

“Video Games Day”, a day for kids to appreciate both the games … and the parents who buy them. Actually, one of the fastest growing segments of the video game market is now adult women.

1990 [18] 1st TV broadcast to generate 1 billion viewers (FIFA World Cup, hosted by Italy)

2005 [03] Superpower fantasy film “Fantastic Four” opens in movie theaters, starring Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, and Michael Chiklis

1881 [127] ‘Ice Cream Sundae’ invented (Edward Berner, Two Rivers WI)

1995 [13] Sacramento Gold meet Las Vegas Posse in 1st-ever CFL game between 2 US teams (the ill-advised American experiment eventually is trashed)

[Wed] Intern Appreciation Day
[Wed] Barn Day
[Thurs] Don’t Step on a Bee Day
[Thurs] 26th Just For Laughs Comedy Festival begins (Montréal)
[Thurs] Orangemen’s Day
[Fri] Cheer Up the Lonely Day
[Fri] International Town Criers Day
[Fri] Pet Photo Day
[Fri] Apple’s 2nd generation iPhone 3G goes on sale (8 am)
[Fri] Apple’s iPhone 3G goes on sale in Canada
This Week Is . . . Music For Life Week
This Month Is . . . Blueberry Month

• You start every demonstration with, “In spite of what you may have read in Consumer Reports …”
• Your big ‘Special Offer’ is a complimentary receipt with every purchase.
• You’ve ever referred to your customer’s wife as, “Your passenger-side airbag, there.”
• You burst into tears when someone shakes hands firmly.
• Upon the first sign of rejection, you offer 15 for the price of one.
• Your big closing line is: “You might find a better price elsewhere but don’t let me catch you doing it, pal!”

If you had to have one piece of music softly playing in your mind for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be?

• “The Colbert Report” as a comedy series. He’s a one bit comic. How many times can you arch one eyebrow and expect it to be funny?
• Toaster waffles. Air surrounded by Styrofoam. Inedible without tons of syrup.
• Gigantic oversized pickup trucks. Most owners have no practical use for them. They were stupid before; with the price of gas these days … they’re really stupid.
• 4-day ‘mini vacation’ packages. You use 1 day to get there and 1 to get home. This is a break?
• John Mayer as a lyricist. Could you ‘say what you mean to say’ once and then get on with it?
• Gifts that aren’t either consumable or spendable. A pot of jam you’ll use up; a decorative object is just something you have to haul out and display each time the giver shows up.
• Will Smith as an actor. Seems like a nice guy, but c’mon … isn’t the bumper box office for “Hancock” more a result of a 14-day window during which no other movie is being released?
• “Guitar Hero”. Wanna be a real hero? Learn to play a real ax.

Opus 5 bistro in Boca Raton FL is now serving up a hot dog that costs … $14. For that ridiculous amount you get a Kobe beef tube-steak, topped with fresh-made sauerkraut. Are customers really forking out for this? What makes it so good?
PHONER: 561.544.8000 (Burt Rapoport, owner; John Belleme, chef)

Today’s Question: At last count, 37 world records have been broken by people wearing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The new Speedo LZR swimsuit, a hi-tech body suit that swimmers will be wearing at THIS SUMMER’s Beijing Olympics.

Bad dates are just research.

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