Tuesday, July 14, 2009        Edition: #4056
No Sheet? No Service!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Ryan Seacrest’s new 3-year contract extension with “American Idol” reportedly makes him one of the highest-paid TV hosts (he was already making about $100,000 per episode) . . . Meantime, Brit model Kate Moss is set to join forces with “American Idol’s” Simon Cowell & UK businessman Philip Green to form a billion-buck business global entertainment company which – they say – will rival Disney (is ‘Simonland’ in the offing?) . . . “Entertainment Weekly” reports that online/radio celeb reporter Perez Hilton is set to launch a record label venture with Warner Music Group in the near future (the guy’s getting rich just by gossiping) . . . A Philadelphia man is suing concert promoter Live Nation for misrepresenting its ‘No Service Fee Wednesday’ promotion after his $7.75 ticket was jacked up with $12.25 in various taxes & fees (the same type of add-ons infuriate airline travelers – why not just list the overall price?) . . . 83-year-old BB King is being sued for $1.5 million by his former business manager who claims the bluesman has cut him out of all the cash he’s earned since 2000, an amount the suit estimates at over $100 million (not bad for a string strummer out of Itta Bena, Mississippi!) . . . Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie et al are apparently looking to add to their real estate portfolio, checking out ‘Apthorp’, a 1908 property in Manhattan that’s currently being converted into lavish apartments which boast up to 13 bedrooms at a cost of $15 million-plus (Brangelina are said to be considering buying up 2 or 3 to join) . . . And “Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe tells “Us Magazine” he’s only a sex symbol if girls like ‘short and nerdy’, otherwise they’re better off lusting after “Twilight” actor Robert Pattinson (who’s tall and stinky).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Miley Cyrus (“Hannah Montana 3”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Sean Patrick McGraw (“Dollar Ain’t Worth a Dime”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (CBS) – Daniel Merriweather (“Love & War”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Wilco f/Feist (“Wilco” the album).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Sugar Ray (“Music for Cougars”, due July 21st).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – She’s in the process of completing her new, as-yet-untitled album to be released November 3rd. A new single is expected to hit radio late this summer.
• Daughtry – Today they release the new album “Leave This Town”, a collaboration between all 5 members of the band. Chris Daughtry’s multi-platinum 2006 self-titled debut was written & recorded with session musicians.
• George Strait – “Living For the Night” has become the fastest-rising single of his career. He co-wrote the song with his son Bubba & songwriter Dean Dillon.
• The Killers – They’re turning their live shows into a Vegas-style revue, complete with comedy from British standup Jimmy Carr who’ll warm up the audience before the band takes the stage.
• Kings of Leon – 27-year-old frontman Caleb Followill destroyed his treasured Gibson 325 guitar in frustration over sound problems during the band’s set at Scotland’s “T In the Park” festival on the weekend. After smashing the instrument onstage, he tossed it into the screaming crowd, then stormed off. Does he regret it now? You bet.
• Michael Jackson – At 1 minute, 46 seconds into the single version of “Wanna Be Startin’ Something” a ghostly female voice can be heard singing “You’re a Vegetable”. It’s really creepy.
• Rush – Drummer Neil Peart has garnered his 3rd consecutive win as ‘Drummer Of the Year’ in this year’s ‘Drummies’ from “DRUM!” magazine. Runner-up is Travis Barker (Blink-182).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:

• “Grey Gardens” ( Biographical Drama ): Jessica Lange & Drew Barrymore star in this HBO TV movie based on the life stories of the eccentric aunt & first cousin of one-time US First Lady Jackie Onassis, both named Edith. Barrymore revealed after filming finished that she had developed severe allergies due to the heavy make-up she wore throughout production.
• “The Haunting in Connecticut” ( Horror Thriller ): After a family is forced to relocate for the good of their son’s health they begin experiencing supernatural behavior in their new home, which turns out to be a former mortuary. Stars Virginia Madsen, Martin Donovan & Elias Koteas. Shot in Winnipeg.
• “The Horsemen” ( Mystery Thriller ): Dennis Quaid stars as a recently widowed detective who discovers a shocking connection between himself and the suspects in a serial killing spree linked to the ‘Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse’.
• Also released today: “American Gladiators: The Original Series – The Battle Begins” (classic TV); “For All Mankind” (documentary); “Leverage: The 1st Season” (TV); “Mad Men: Season Two” (TV); “The State: The Complete Series” (TV); “Tracey Takes On … The Complete & Final Seasons” (TV).

NEW BUG ZAPPER:

Researchers at Britain’s Bristol Robotics Lab have built a new robot that’s powered by … flies. The pesky pests are lured into a trap and digested by an internal microbial fuel cell. The scientists think it may also be possible to develop marine robots that feed on plankton. (We want a vacuum cleaner that runs on dust.)
– “New Scientist”

WHERE YOU PAY TO PEE YOUR PANTS:

Hey vertigo junkies, the Sears Tower in Chicago IL now features a glass-floored observation deck on the 110th floor … 1,353 ft up! The attraction, called ‘The Ledge’, is being touted as the ‘Scariest View In the World’. Unlike a similar glass-floored attraction 1,122 ft up the CN Tower in Toronto, this one also features transparent walls and ceilings only a half-inch thick, giving visitors the feeling of being suspended in air. (Bet they have to mop this floor 20 times a day.)
– Adapted from “Curious Times”.

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 85% of men never use the slit in their underwear.
• 69% of us eat the cake before the frosting.
• 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
• 33% of guys think it’s sexy when women swear.
• 22% of us skip lunch daily, while 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
• 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.

EXTORTION MADE LEGAL:

Latvia’s Kontora Bank is now offering short-term loans of up to $1,000 to people who have no credit history, no jobs, and no collateral. All they need to do is sign some brief legal paperwork agreeing to pay interest at the rate of 1% … per day. (‘Kontora‘ is apparently Latvian for ‘concrete shoes’.)
– MosNews.com

HIP-HOP CASH KINGS:
A new ranking of richest rappers based on total earnings June ‘08 to June ‘09 …
5. Lil Wayne ($18 million) … 65-show mega-tour & latest album “Tha Carter III”.
4. [tie] Akon ($20 million) … Music, fashion lines, and a diamond mine / 50 Cent … Vitamin Water deal, G-Unit clothing line, licensing deals.
3. Kanye West ($25 million) … Albums, tour, and designer shoes.
2. Diddy ($30 million) … Clothing line Sean John, record label Bad Boy, premium vodka Ciroc, reality TV shows “Making the Band” & “Run’s House”.
1. Jay-Z ($35 million) … International concert tour, partial ownership of NBA’s New Jersey Nets, NYC’s 40/40 nightclub.
– Condensed from “Forbes Magazine”.

FITNESS FOR 40ISH FATTIES:
1980s-themed health club chain Retrofitness has acquired the rights to “867-5309”, the phone number made famous by one-hit-wonder Tommy Tutone in 1982. The fitness outfit has 50-plus locations in Florida, New Jersey, and Washington DC and currently over 100 more in development in other markets. Each outlet is decorated in ‘80s colors (neon yellow, black checkered floors) and includes a ‘retro cardio’ movie theater screening vintage flicks like “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “Sixteen Candles”. (So you can laugh at how you looked back in the day.)
– “Billboard”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Mosquitoes mate in about 10 seconds.
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 07.14.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1960 [49] Kyle Gass, Castro Valley CA, rock musician/comedian (Jack Black’s partner in Tenacious D)

1966 [43] Matthew Fox, Crowheart WY, TV actor (‘Dr Jack Shephard’ on “Lost” since 2004, “Party of Five” 1994-2000)

1971 [38] Nick McCabe, St Helen’s UK, rock guitarist (The Verve-“Love is Noise”, “Bitter Sweet Symphony”)

1975 [34] Jamey Johnson, Enterprise AL, country singer/songwriter (“In Color”, “The Dollar”)

1975 [34] Taboo (Jaime Gomez), LA CA, hip-hop musician/MC/dancer (Black Eyed Peas-“Boom Boom Pow”, “Where Is The Love?”)

1984 [25] Chris Steele, Hamilton ON, rock bassist (Alexisonfire-“Young Cardinals”, “Rough Hands”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bastille Day”, the national holiday of France that commemorates the beginning of the French Revolution in 1789 when patriots stormed the Bastille prison. Off with their heads!

• “Cow Appreciation Day” and that’s no bull! It’s a day of recognition for all the things that cows give us. So open up your calfskin wallet and buy yourself a tasty T-bone.
BS THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT COWS:
– Cows possess strong emotions such as fear and anxiety and even worry about the future, according to a scientific report at the “Compassion in World Farming” conference in London.
– Cows within a herd form smaller friendship groups of between 2-and-4 animals with whom they spend most of their time. They can also dislike other cows and bear grudges for months or years. In other words … they form cliques.
– Cow herds can be intensely sexual. A University of Bristol animal husbandry professor says they may look calm, but are really ‘gay nymphomaniacs’.
– Cows can become excited by solving intellectual puzzles such as how to open a door. Their brain waves register intense activity and their heartbeats go up. (“Times of London”)

• “Major League Baseball All-Star Game”, the 80th annual being played in St Louis MO. Sheryl Crow sings the pre-game anthem; Barack Obama is scheduled to throw out the ceremonial first pitch; country star Sara Evans sings “God Bless America” during the 7th-inning stretch.

• “International Auctioneers Conference” through Saturday in Overland Park KS, the 60th annual get-together highlighted by this Friday’s “International Auctioneer Championship”. Dozens of auctioneers from across North America wage a bid-calling battle as they’re judged on appearance, speed, and clarity. The grand prize is 10 grand!
NET: http://tinyurl.com/nsouzm

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1992 [17] Actress Demi Moore appears on “Vanity Fair” magazine’s cover wearing nothing but a painted-on birthday suit

2000 [09] “X-Men” opens in theaters with a then-record take of $57.5 million, the largest non-sequel, non-holiday movie opening (in an even-numbered year, during a month that begins with ‘J’ …)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [11] WYHY Nashville offers $1 million to anyone who can prove Elvis Presley is still alive (the money goes unclaimed)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1868 [141] 1st ‘Tape Measure’, patented by Alvin J Fellows of Connecticut

1912 [97] Boxers Al Wolgast & Joe Rivers K-O each other (Wolgast is declared winner)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .

1990 [19] Prince Edward Island’s ‘Fast Eddy’ McDonald completes record 8,437 loops with a yo-yo in 1 hour

1990 [19] World’s ‘Largest Cherry Pie’ weighs in at 37,740 lbs and is served up from a 20-ft-diameter pan in Oliver, British Columbia

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] “Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince” opens in theaters (12:01 am)
[Thurs] Get to Know Your Customers Day
[Thurs] “Emmy Awards” nominations announced
[Fri] “(500) Days of Summer” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] Hot Dog Day
[Sat] Mandela Day Celebration (NYC)
This Week Is … Mosquito Week (someone’s actually promoting them?)
This Month Is … Share a Sunset With Your Lover Month (awwww!)

BULL’S BITS


MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Is the shinbone just a device for finding furniture in a dark room?
• If 4-out-of-5 people suffer from diarrhea… does that mean one actually enjoys it?
• If everyone is on the bandwagon, who’s gonna pull?
• If a chicken coop had 4 doors, would it be a ‘chicken sedan’?
• Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

BS ‘CASTING CALL’:
You name the 3 movie co-stars; your contestant tries to name the movie they were all in.
GAME #1 …
• Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman (“Hancock” 2008).
• Jason Bateman, Ellen Page, Michael Cera (“Juno” 2007).
• Michael Cera, Harold Ramis, Jack Black (“Year One” 2009).
• Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie (“Kung Fu Panda” 2008).

GAME #2 …
• Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan (“Mamma Mia!” 2008).
•  Pierce Brosnan, Robin Williams, Sally Field (“Mrs Doubtfire” 1993).
• Sally Field, Gary Sinise, Tom Hanks (“Forrest Gump” 1994).
• Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Philip Seymour Hoffman (“Charlie Wilson’s War” 2007).

GAME #3 …
• Philip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep, Amy Adams (“Doubt” 2008).
• Amy Adams, Robin Williams, Ben Stiller (“Night At the Museum: Battle Of the Smithsonian” 2009).
• Ben Stiller, Sacha Baron Cohen, Chris Rock (“Madagascar” 2005 and “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” 2008).
• Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, John Turturro (“You Don’t Mess With the Zohan” 2008).
– Stats from BoxOfficeMojo.com.

BS PHONE STARTER:

What is the longest distance you’ve ever traveled in a single trip?

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I’m an apathetic sociopath. I’d kill you if I cared.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS vegetable is said to have the fewest calories.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cucumber.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Nothing is impossible for people who don’t have to do it themselves.


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