Wednesday, July 29, 2009        Edition: #4067
Sheet Happens!


30-year-old actress Katie Holmes (Mrs Tom Cruise) has narrowly avoided injury on the Australian movie set of “Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark” after jumping from a car whose battery exploded, causing it to burst into flames (cool! … cut! … print!) . . . 34-year-old actor Leonardo DiCaprio (“Revolutionary Road”) has been spotted flirting with Pussycat Dolls’ Ashley Roberts at a polo match in Windsor UK, then at London nightclub Chinawhite afterward, where she and a gaggle of other girls surrounded his table (he better hope he stays famous cuz he’s not that pretty) . . . Actor Chris Tucker (“Rush Hour” films) has been slapped with a tax lien by California’s revenue agency, which claims he owes slightly more than $3.5 million in unpaid taxes (there’ll be no leniency – the state is $31 billion in debt!) . . . Lauren Conrad, the 23-year-old reality TV star (“The Hills”)-turned-author (“LA Candy”) is looking to adapt her best-selling debut ‘novel’ about a teen who moves to LA and lands her own reality TV show for the bigscreen (she’s also threatening a sequel, which picks up where the first book left off) . . . According to “Us Weekly”, 29-year-old quasi-entertainer Jessica Simpson has been banned from entering the gated community where her NFL player ex-boyfriend Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys) lives (it’s tough to get past the Cowboys’ O-line!) . . . And 28-year-old reality TV star Kim Kardashian (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) has split from her NFL player boyfriend of 2 years, Reggie Bush (New Orleans Saints), because they’ve been ‘spending too much time apart’ (BS translation: I’d rather have a guy from a contending team).

• “The Hour” (CBC) – Kings of Leon (“Only By the Night”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Sounds (“Living in America”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Lykke Li (“Youth Novels”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Passion Pit (“Manners”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – UK alt-rockers Elbow.
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Carrie Underwood, Darius Rucker, Kenny Chesney, Sugarland.
• “Tavis Smiley Show” (PBS) – Lionel Richie (“Just Go”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Ashley Tisdale (“Guilty Pleasure”).

• Avril Lavigne – She tells “Billboard” magazine she’s ready to show off a softer side with a more serious, stripped-down approach to her as-yet-untitled 4th studio album, tentatively slated for a November release.
• Coldplay – They’re set to appear on “The Simpsons” (FOX). Chris Martin will play himself in the episode in which the band performs a private show for ‘Bart’ and his dad, after ‘Homer’ wins a million dollars in the lottery.
• Good Charlotte – Joel Madden says he’s writing a book about his life and he wants ‘every page to mean something’. (Isn’t that some sort of a oxymoron?)
• Jonas Bros – 19-year-old Joe Jonas has broken up with his latest girlfriend, Camilla Belle. The couple began dating last year soon after his split from country star Taylor Swift. (Serial dater?)
• Michael Jackson – Despite the fact only Nobel Prize officials can nominate candidates, thousands of misguided fans have signed a petition to land him a Nobel Peace Prize nomination for his ‘lifelong dedication to the well-being of humanity’. (He spread peace worldwide … one young boy at a time.)
• Tim McGraw – He’ll release the new album “Southern Voice” on October 20th, his first studio album since “Let It Go” in early 2007.


New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Frequency Illusion’ – The tendency to notice instances of something once you start to look for it, and then erroneously believe that whatever it is occurs frequently. (“That’s the 3rd red car I’ve seen in-a-row. Red must be the most popular car color!”)
• ‘Transumer’ – An excessively rich tourist who approaches the world like it’s an extended shopping mall. (“Staff, we’re going to jack the price of everything by 70% because transumer season is in full swing and these people will buy anything as long as it’s expensive.”)
• ‘Voluntourism’ – An interactive form of travel in which do-gooders pitch in and build schools, educate locals, and basically help save the world. (“We’re so into voluntourism we’re going to spend 2 weeks in Honduras building tennis courts for orphans with nasty rashes.”)


The human body literally glows, emitting a visible light in extremely small quantities at levels that rise & fall during the day. In fact, virtually all living creatures emit very weak light which is thought to be a byproduct of biochemical reactions. To learn more about this faint visible light, scientists in Japan employed extraordinarily sensitive cameras. Researchers discovered that faces glow more than the rest of the body; and that the body glow has its lowest point at 10 am and peaks at 4 pm, dropping gradually after that. (All this is proof that we’re not very bright.)


According to a new study done in Britain, the average adult forgets 3 facts, chores, or events per day. Among the everyday things most often forgotten …
10. Friends’ children’s birthdays.
9. Where we parked the car.
8. Replacing the toilet paper roll.
7. Not swearing in front of the kids.
6. Charging the cellphone/iPod.
5. Taking food out of the freezer.
4. Laundry in the washing machine.
3. What we went to the store to get.
2. Where we put the keys.
1. Letting a cup of hot coffee/tea get cold.
Also on the list … our age.
– “Daily Mail”

Constable Andy Hill of the Staffordshire Police Force in the UK is the founder of the ‘Pagan Police Group’. The practicing Wiccan says it has nothing to do with promoting black magic or devil-worship but rather working with nature for good. Thanks to his group’s efforts …
• British police who worship heathen gods will get 8 days off a year to celebrate pagan festivals.
• Britain’s Home Office has introduced a pagan oath which can alternately be used in courts.
• Many police departments have announced that witches, Druids, and heathens are welcome to serve on the force.
(They’re entitled to Christmas and Easter off as well as those holidays were originally scheduled to compete with the Pagan festivals Yule and Eostar.)
– “Daily Express”

An online auction by NYC’s Gotta Have It! auction house continuing through August 5th includes some interesting celebrity memorabilia. Among the 500 personal items  …
• Madonna’s faxed love letters from the early 1990s to her then-boyfriend Jim Albright, as well as spicy messages left on his answering machine.
• An Elvis Presley-owned and worn leather poncho.
• An Eminem-owned and worn sweatsuit, circa 2004.
• A 1965 Jimi Hendrix performance contract – for $1 – believed to be his first.
• Former boxing champ Muhammad Ali’s training robe from a 1976 fight against Ken Norton.
• John Lennon’s signed 1965 ‘Psychedelic Rolls-Royce’ registration.
The items belong to 150 consigners including collectors.
– AP

New Australian research verifies previous studies indicating that tall men earn more money than their shorter colleagues. The study of 7,000 workers found that each 2 inches of height is equal to about $1,000 per year in extra salary. The results are far less dramatic for women who need about 4 inches of height to get a similar pay  increase. This latest study also finds that obese people no longer earn less than their skinnier colleagues, but that may be explained by the fact that … so many people are now overweight. (If this is true, how come the world’s richest man isn’t Yao Ming?)
– “The Telegraph”


According to scientists, women are getting hotter. Researchers have found that attractive women have more children than their less attractive counterparts and that a higher proportion of these kids are female. Once these daughters become adult they tend to be good-looking themselves, so the pattern is repeated. As attractive couples are less likely to have a boy than a girl, men tend to remain as aesthetically unappealing as their caveman ancestors. (You know what this means? Eventually even the ugliest loser will have a choice from oodles of hotties!)
– “Globe & Mail”

The first known maize maze was hacked out of a Pennsylvania cornfield in 1993.
– “Magazine Monitor”


1953 [56] Ken Burns, NYC, Emmy Award-winning writer, producer, documentary-maker (“The National Parks”, “Baseball”, “The Civil War”)

1953 [56] Tim Gunn, Washington DC, fashion consultant/TV personality (“Project Runway”, “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style”/author (“A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style”)

1953 [56] Geddy Lee, Toronto ON, classic rock singer/bassist (Rush-“Far Cry”, “Test for Echo”)

1953 [56] Patti Scialfa, Deal NJ, classic rock singer (E Street Band-“Hungry Heart”, “Born to Run”)/Mrs Bruce Springsteen since 1991

1966 [43] Martina McBride (Schiff), Medicine Lodge KS, country singer (“Anyway”, “This One’s For the Girls”)

1974 [35] Josh Radnor, Bexley OH, TV actor (‘Ted Mosby’ on “How I Met Your Mother” since 2005)

1977 [32] Danger Mouse (Brian Burton), White Plains NY, pop recording artist (Gnarls Barkley-“Crazy”)/record producer (Gorillaz-“Demon Days”, Beck-“Modern Guilt”)

1982 [27] Allison Mack, Preetz, Germany, TV actress (‘Chloe Sullivan’ on “Smallville” since 2001)

• “International Lasagna Day” celebrating the famous Italian dish that’s become a worldwide fave. Almost all recipes for the ‘perfect lasagna’ feature ricotta as the cheese of choice. However, everybody seems to have their own secret ingredient. What’s yours?

• “Maine Lobster Festival”, the 62nd annual through Sunday in Rockland, Maine. Aside from fresh all-you-can-eat lobster, highlights include the ‘Maine Sea Goddess’ competition, a lobster crate race and an amateur-only lobster cook-off.

• “Rain Day” in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, an annual community event that started more than a hundred years ago when a farmer noticed it always seemed to rain on July 29th. They now claim it has rained on this date every year since 1796. True or not, it’s a good excuse for an annual party!

2000 [09] Actors Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston wed in Malibu CA (they separate after 4-and-a-half years, thanks to that hussy Angelina)


1907 [102] 1st ‘Boy Scout Troop’ is organized by Sir Robert Baden-Powell in London UK

1988 [21] Reg Morris of Walsall UK sets world record for ‘Crawling on Hands & Knees’ at 28.5
miles (his wife still refuses to take him back)

[Thurs] Cheesecake Day
[Thurs] Father-In-Law Day
[Fri] System Administrator Appreciation Day
[Fri] “Aliens In the Attic”; “The Collector”; “The Cove”; “Funny People” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Moby Dick Week
This Month Is … Air-Conditioning Appreciation Days


A recent Stanford University study finds that we ‘hear’ personality in the voices of others, and the sound of a voice biases our opinions about everything from credibility to sexual prowess. Here are a few first impressions made by various voices …
• High-Pitched Voice – Squeaky, high voices give the perception of insecurity, inexperience, and give the illusion of not being confident.
• Slow Talker – You’re calm and confident enough to trust that people will wait around to see what you have to say. So you attract admiration and respect … unless you’re too slow.
• Nasal Voice – 70% of people are annoyed by those with a nasal quality to their voice. It’s perceived as demanding and calculating, while appearing less professional.
• Gravelly Voice – Gives the illusion of experience & authority and commands attention & reverence from peers … whether it’s deserved or not.
Fast Talker – Speaking too quickly gives others the idea you don’t particularly care whether the listener can understand what you’re saying. Fast talkers also appear nervous.
• Low Talker – A low, powerful voice exudes strength because a deep voice is a sign of high testosterone. It can command attention, but if you’re a mumbler you’re worse off than your voice-challenged counterparts.


Have a contestant/guest/crew member guess which are which …
• Nasalis [muscle]
• Mentalis [muscle]
• Xeryus [cologne]
• Agua Brava [cologne]
• Drakar Noir [cologne]
• Risorius [muscle]
• Aramis [cologne]
• Zygomaticus [muscle]
• Orbicularis Oculi [muscle]
• Joop [cologne]
– Thanks to Mike Henry


You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket … I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.


If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book/movie/TV show, who would it be?


Today’s Question: People who do THIS are 8 times more likely to be late for things.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Purposely set their clocks/watches ahead of the real time.

What you see can depend on what you look for.

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