Thursday, July 30, 2009        Edition: #4068
Get a Load Of This Sheet!

48-year-old movie star George Clooney, who’s been single since splitting from longtime girlfriend Sarah Larson last year, has now reportedly taken up with 30-year-old Elisabetta Canalis, TV host of the Italian version of MTV’s “Total Request Live” (enjoy him while you can, honey!) . . . According to “NY Post”, incarcerated music producer Phil Spector has been taken to visit a fellow prisoner at California’s Corcoran State Prison – mass murderer Charles Manson (looking to initiate some sort of working relationship?) . . . 28-year-old actress Bryce Dallas Howard (“Terminator Salvation”) will replace Rachelle Lefevre as the vampire ‘Victoria’ in the upcoming 3rd installment of the “Twilight” movie franchise, entitled “Eclipse” (she says fangs a lot for the work) . . . Buzz date of the week: 60-year-old oldies singer Lionel Richie & 42-year-old Chinese actress Bai Ling (Mickey Rourke’s ex-) . . . 16-year-old “Gossip Girl” star Taylor Momsen says she refuses to spend time with anyone her own age because she ‘can’t relate to high school kids’ (a brilliant remark to make in – “Teen Vogue” magazine!) . . . 46-year-old movie star Johnny Depp & longtime partner Vanessa Paradis have reportedly bought a home near Bath, England and are scouting private schools in the area because they want their 2 kids, Lily-Rose (10) & Jack (7), to receive a ‘British education’ (oh the money!) . . . And Paris Hilton has reportedly copyrighted her new saying, “That’s huge!”, and plans to charge public figures who make use of it (that’s reason #742 of why she’s annoying).

• “Big Valley Jamboree” – The 17th annual through Monday in Camrose AB features Billy Currington, Josh Turner, Tim McGraw, Tracy Lawrence and dozens more country acts.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jack’s Mannequin (“Everything in Transit”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Ben Harper & The Relentless7 (“White Lies For Dark Times”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Jarvis Cocker (“Jarvis”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Cage the Elephant (“Cage the Elephant”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Regina Spektor (“Begin to Hope”).

• Green Day – Frontman Billie Joe Armstrong hopes the upcoming “American Idiot” musical, based on their 2004 concept album, will someday be turned into a movie.
• Jay-Z – He’s set to release an autobiography covering everything from his days on the streets as a drug dealer to his fairytale wedding to Beyoncé. Its release is expected to tie in with his next album, “The Blueprint 3”, due in September.
• Kelly Clarkson – She admits her single “Already Gone” sounds a lot like Beyoncé’s “Halo”. That’s because both tunes were written by Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic, whom Clarkson has already taken to task for giving them similar material. She also asked her label not to release “Already Gone” … but failed to get her way.
• Michael Jackson – An LAPD source claims he was cuddling a doll when he died, a ‘bizarre, child-sized, porcelain doll’ … which was wearing a dress. (A freak in life, a freak in …)
• U2 – Their extravagant “U2-360” tour is failing to impress many. This week there were protests in Dublin about the 44-hour around-the-clock noise during the dismantling of the monumental stage & its ‘Claw’ – the 390-ton, 4-legged steel monstrosity that houses A/V equipment above it. Musician David Byrne is accusing human rights campaigner Bono of hypocrisy over what may be the most expensive tour ever: $40 million just to build the stage. Then there’s the environmental impact of some 200 semis transporting equipment and the private jet the band uses to return to Nice, France after each show. (The guy’s got a point.)

• “Anchorman 2”: Will Ferrell wants to revive his egotistic newsreader character ‘Ron Burgundy’ in a sequel to the 2004 hit comedy. This week talks are underway with the original cast – Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell et al – to see if they’re interested in committing to another installment. Ferrell is hopeful to start filming within a couple of years.
• “Florence of Arabia”: Charlize Theron is set to play a US State Department employee who, after watching her friend marry the prince of a Middle East country and subsequently get executed, fights for equal rights for the women of that country. Theron will also produce the satirical film.
• “The Journey Is the Destination” – “Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe is asking producers of this upcoming movie about Somalia to cast actors from the African country in order to keep the project authentic. The 20-year-old will play Dan Eldon, the British photojournalist whose work brought global attention to the Somali civil war in the 1990s.
• “Wall Street 2” – Father-and-son actors Martin & Charlie Sheen are reportedly set to reprise their roles in Oliver Stone’s upcoming sequel to his 1987 drama set in the financial world. The film will revisit Michael Douglas’ greedy NYC financier character ‘Gordon Gekko’ 20 years on.
• “World of Warcraft” – “Spider-Man” director Sam Raimi is now on board to make a  a live-action bigscreen version of the videogame that debuted in 2004. The popular game enables players to become various characters, including dwarves, orcs, and trolls. It’s been 2 years since the initial announcement of a movie version.


These titans of Tinseltown include producers, actors, writers, musicians, and talking heads who’ve made the most moolah in the past year …
8. Movie actor Harrison Ford (“Indiana Jones”) … $65 million.
7. [tie] Rocker Bruce Springsteen / syndicated radio host Howard Stern … $70 million.
6. [tie] TV producer-star Simon Cowell (“American Idol”, “America’s Got Talent”) / TV producer Dick Wolf (“Law & Order” shows) / Movie-TV producer-director-writer-actor Tyler Perry (“Madea” films) … $75 million.
5. TV host Phil McGraw (“Dr Phil”) … $80 million.
4. Former TV star Jerry Seinfeld (thanks to rerun royalties) … $85 million.
3. Movie-TV producer Jerry Bruckheimer (“G-Force”, CSI”) … $100 million.
2. Movie producer-director Steven Spielberg (“Transformers”, “Indiana Jones”) … $150 million.
1. Movie producer-director George Lucas (“Indiana Jones”, “Star Wars”) … $170 million.
– “Forbes Magazine”


A new University of Wisconsin study suggests drinking just over a pint of stout (ie: Guinness) at mealtimes may help prevent blood clots that can lead to heart attacks. Researchers say that drinking lager does not seem to yield the same benefits. It’s thought the antioxidant compounds in stout, similar to those found in fruits & vegetables, slow down the deposit of harmful cholesterol on artery walls. Interestingly, the Irish brewery once had the slogan ‘Guinness Is Good For You!’ but were told to cease using it decades ago. Nowadays no health claims are advertised. (“Black beer … breakfast of champions!”)
– BBC News

Think your Summer vacation was a dud? Here’s a new ranking of movie vacations that were truly disastrous …
10. “RV” (2006)
9. “The ‘Burbs” (1989)
8. “The Descent” (2005)
7. “The Evil Dead” (1981)
6. “Vacation” (1983)
5. “Cabin Fever” (2002)
4. “Hostel” (2005)
3. “An American Werewolf in London” (1981)
2. “Deliverance” (1972)
1. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (2003/1974)
– Extrapolated from


Scientists at Ohio State University’s Center for Cognitive Science have discovered that 5-year-olds can beat most adults on a recognition memory test. When shown pictures of animals, young children are accurate 31% of the time in identifying pictures they’ve previously seen. Adults are only accurate 7% of the time. (Kids remember everything until they go to school and get their memories plugged with ‘knowledge’.)
– “Psychological Science”

• A new ‘Anti-Burglar Mat’ will be available in Japan this Fall that works just like flypaper! Simply leave the super-sticky mat inside your doorway when you leave or go to bed. If burglars break in, they’ll be immediately stuck when stepping on the mat. While they may eventually free themselves from the goo, they’re then likely to hightail it ASAP. (On the other hand, it could just make them angry and want to tear up the joint.)
• The 2-by-4-inch ‘Digital Tattoo Interface’ is a Bluetooth device made of thin, flexible silicone that’s inserted as a tightly rolled tube through a small incision in the skin, and then unfurls beneath it. The still-in-the-concept-stage gizmo is powered by a coin-sized fuel cell that converts blood into electricity. What you end up with is a touch-screen display that’s visible through the skin and can communicate wirelessly with other Bluetooth devices. So, for instance, when your phone rings, the tattoo comes to life as a digital video of the caller. When the call ends, the tattoo disappears. (In future, a tattoo ‘sleeve’ may actually be useful!)

22-year-old Tyler Bradt has set a world record for ‘kayak descent’ by plunging over Palouse Falls in eastern Washington state. The fall was 186 ft, which he covered in less than 4 seconds. After disappearing underwater for 6 seconds, he emerged with a broken paddle and a sprained wrist. Considering the height, the injuries were pretty minor he says. The previous record was 127 ft.
– “Sports Illustrated”

The journal “Physician & Sports Medicine” claims that yelling ‘boo!’ at someone with the hiccups is not likely to make them stop, but briefly holding ice cubes to both sides of their neck should.


1947 [62] Arnold Schwarzenegger, Thal, Austria, 38th California governor since 2003/movie actor (“The Terminator”, “Conan the Barbarian”)/5-time ‘Mr Universe’/married to Maria Shriver since 1986

1948 [61] Jean [‘jhawn’] Reno, Casablanca, Morocco, movie actor (“Da Vinci Code”, “Mission: Impossible”)

1961 [48] Laurence Fishburne, Augusta GA, movie actor (“21″, “Matrix” trilogy)

1963 [46] Lisa Kudrow, Encino CA, TV actress (“The Comeback” 2005, “Friends” 1994-2004)/movie actress (“Hotel For Dogs”, “PS I Love You”)

1970 [39] Christopher Nolan, London UK, movie director/producer/screenwriter (“The Dark Knight”, “The Prestige”, “Batman Begins”)

1971 [38] Brad Hargreaves, Marin County CA, alt-rock drummer/vocalist (Third Eye Blind-“Never Let You Go”, “Jumper”)  COMING UP: The new Third Eye Blind album “Ursa Major”, due August 18th.

1974 [35] Hilary Swank, Lincoln NE, movie actress (Oscars-“Million Dollar Baby”, “Boys Don’t Cry”)

1977 [32] Jaime Pressly, Kinston NC, TV actress (‘Joy Turner‘ on “My Name Is Earl” since 2005)/movie actress (“DOA: Dead or Alive”, “Not Another Teen Movie”)

• “Cheesecake Day”, a day to indulge yourself in one of the most decadent of all desserts.

• “Father-In-Law Day”, honoring the spousal parent that’s never been all that impressed with you … so why bother with a card?.

• “Kiss Your Car Day”, a day to show how much you really, really love her. But don’t forget this month’s payment or you can kiss your car … goodbye.

• “Rockhound Gemboree” in Bancroft ON through Monday. The 46th annual edition of Canada’s largest gem & mineral show is expected to attract circa 15,000 collectors from around-the-world. Dude, it’s a rock festival!
PHONER: 888.443.9999 / 613.332.1513

1999 [10] The horror flick “The Blair Witch Project” opens in theaters (only costs $60,000 to make but grosses some $250 million worldwide, making it the most profitable movie of all-time)

2004 [05] Cult comedy “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle” opens in movie theaters

2003 [06] ‘SARStock Concert’ in Toronto draws 400,000-plus to see the Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Rush, Justin Timberlake, and others

1962 [47] ‘Trans-Canada Highway’ opens, longest in North America at 7,307 km (4,384 mi)


1988 [21] Ronald Dossenbach begins record ‘Bike Ride Across Canada’ (Vancouver to Halifax in 13 days)

[Fri] System Administrator Appreciation Day
[Fri] “Aliens In the Attic”; “The Collector”; “The Cove”; “Funny People” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Girlfriends Day
[Sat] Sweet Corn Day
[Sun] Sisters Day
[Mon] Civic Holiday (most of Canada)
This Week Is … World Hackysack Week
This Month Is … Herbal Prescription Awareness Month


• ‘Law Of Mechanical Repair’ – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
• ‘Law Of Mechanical Repair (Part 2)’ – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
• ‘Law Of Gravity’ – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• ‘Law Of Probability’ – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• ‘Law Of Random Numbers’ – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
• ‘Law Of the Alibi’ – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will actually have a flat tire.
• ‘Variation Law’ – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one that you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
• ‘Starbucks Law’ – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
– Condensed from


There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

Today’s Question: Over half of single guys polled say would not date a woman who has THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A tattoo.

Love is being stupid together.

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