Monday, July 5, 2010        Edition: #4298
Another Sheetload of Bull!

• Actor Tobey Maguire is now 35, so the announcement he’s being replaced by a 26-year-old in “Spider-Man 4” is no big surprise. A virtually unknown actor – Andrew Garfield – has been cast as the new ‘Peter Parker’. Director Marc Webb says though his name may be new to many, we’ll learn to love him. Before this his biggest role was a small part in “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”. (You’ve got about 4 years before you too are kicked to the curb, dude.)
• The waitress accused by famous person Lindsay Lohan on her page of punching her during her 24th birthday celebrations at Hollywood nightclub Voyeur has come forward to deny the accusation. Jasmine Waltz tells “Access Hollywood”, “All I have to say is that disturbed little train wreck is delusional. I didn’t hit her … but I’d like too.” (Join the ever-growing club!)
• 30 years after the release of the “Blues Brothers” movie, the Catholic church has given the film its official blessing and added it to the list of ‘Catholic classics’. Vatican newspaper “L’Osservatore Romano” now recommends the film about Dan Aykroyd & John Belushi’s ’mission from God’ to spread blues music across the land. (Nice to see they’re right in step with the times.)
• It certainly isn’t 3rd time lucky for former “Frasier” star Kelsey Grammar when it comes to marriage. He’s confirmed on his Twitter account he’s splitting from his 13-year 3rd wife, Camille Donatacci. The former “Playboy” model has filed for divorce in an LA court citing irreconcilable differences. (The difference between a 29-year-old “Playboy” model and a 42-year-old “Playboy” model, for instance.)
• Quasi-actress Tori Spelling’s husband Dean McDermott has been moved out of an LA hospital’s Intensive Care Unit as he recovers from a dirt bike accident. The Canadian actor was treated in ER after being admitted to hospital with a punctured and collapsed lung. McDermott gave up professional racing earlier this year after fracturing his shoulder in a bike accident, and has now vowed to quit his passion for speed for good. (Right after Tori told him he was.)


• “The Bachelorette” (ABC) – Ali takes the final 5 men to Portugal, then chooses 4 who will escort her to their hometowns.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Michael Bolton (“Live At the Royal Albert Hall”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Galactic (“Ya-Ka-May”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Surfer Blood (“Astro Coast”).
• “Last Comic Standing” (NBC) – Stand-ups return to compete in the 2nd semi-final round.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Phish (“Joy”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – The National (“High Violet”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Alanis Morissette (“The Collection”).


• Black Eye Peas – “Avatar” director James Cameron is reportedly set to use his 3-D expertise on a documentary-style film that will focus on the Peas’ latest world tour. It’s tentatively scheduled to hit theaters early next year.
• Drake – He’s postponed his July European tour because of his mother’s illness. He’s decided to put things on hold in order to support her during recovery from needed surgery.
• Janet Jackson – She’s scheduled to begin shooting a new movie, Tyler Perry’s “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf”, due in 2011. The film is an adaptation of Ntozake Shange’s Tony Award-nominated Broadway play.
• Katy Perry – She says fiancé Russell Brand is attracted to her because she’s a ‘strong elephant of a woman’.
• Lily Allen – The Brit pop pixie tells “Elle” magazine she was shocked to be chosen to front an ad campaign for French fashion house Chanel because … she was drunk when she met company boss Karl Lagerfeld.
• Muse – Matt Bellamy has confirmed he is dating Hollywood actress Kate Hudson and says he’s nervous about meeting her mom, actress Goldie Hawn, at a scheduled get-together this week.
• Nine Inch Nails – Trent Reznor has revealed he & producer/musician Atticus Ross are scoring the upcoming film about Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, “The Social Network”. The movie’s due to debut October 1st.
• Sarah McLachlan – Her revamped “Lilith Fair” tour, co-starring a slew of top female acts, has now been cancelled in a total of 12 cites due to ‘the troubled 2010 Summer concert season’.

An annual ranking based on a variety of factors including climate, housing, employment, average income, commuting times, crime rate, etc …
5. Moncton NB
4. Fredricton NB
3. Burlington ON
2. Kingston ON
1. Ottawa ON-Gatineau QC
Coming in last: Bay Roberts NL (#179). The entire list here …

If you believe the hype, the future of home entertainment has arrived, and it is 3-D. Most major manufacturers of TVs, videogames, and other forms of home entertainment are banking on it as the next wave. There might be a slight hitch though: The tech-savvy Japanese – generally the first to embrace cutting-edge technology of this sort – aren’t buying into it. In fact, a new poll finds that nearly 70% of Japanese consumers are not interested in upgrading to a 3-D TV.  Here’s why so many reject the technology: Uncomfortable 3-D glasses (70%); the cost (57%); and the lack of content (40%).


Researchers say computer keyboards can be up to 5 times dirtier than … toilet seats. That’s because they become easily fouled with food, dirt, and germs just like other frequently touched things like doorknobs and money. But beyond just looking grimy, a filthy keyboard might actually make you sick. The major reasons for this ickiness are people not washing their hands and eating food at their desks. In the latter case, sticky fingers transfer sauces and edible particles onto and between keys, making keyboards a great place for germs to fester. Stomach sicknesses caught from computers have been dubbed ‘QWERTY tummy’. (One germophobe claims he regularly cleans his keyboard … in the dishwasher.)


‘Instinctive Drowning Response’ is what people do to avoid actual or perceived suffocation in the water. And it does not look like most people expect. There is very little splashing, no waving, and no yelling or calls for help of any kind. To get an idea of just how quiet and undramatic drowning can be, consider this: It’s the #2 cause of accidental death for children aged 15 and under. About half of those who drown do so within 25 yards of an adult. In 10% of those drownings, the adult will actually watch them do it, having no idea it’s happening. Here’s what to look for …
• Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help.
• When drowning people’s mouths are above the surface, they exhale and inhale quickly.
• Drowning people cannot wave for help as they instinctively press down on the water’s surface.
• Drowning bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick.
– “On Scene Magazine”


• A poll of political consultants has found that 44% believe they have at least once helped elect someone they were later sorry to see serve in office. (So do they give back the massive fees they collect?)
• According to a newlywed survey in “Bride’s Magazine”, 70% say they have ‘fooled around’ while driving, 31% have had relations with a partner who’s asleep, but 67% report more sex before marriage than after. (Gee, what a surprise!)
• In a “Ladies’ Home Journal” survey of resort-goers, 75% of the couples polled say that passion peaks during vacations and lasts up to 4 weeks after they return home. (It is unclear if the survey participants were married … or even on vacation together.)
• A poll in “Health” magazine finds that one third of pet owners turn on the radio or TV to keep pets company before they go out. (So when’s the last time you spoke directly to this huge chunk of your audience?)


UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) mixed martial arts TV programming is now broadcast in over 130 countries, reaching 430 million homes worldwide in 20 different languages.


1943 [67] Robbie Robertson, Toronto ON, classic rock musician (“Storyville”, The Band-“Music From Big Pink”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1994)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2003)/Order of Canada (2007)

1950 [60] Huey Lewis (Hugh Anthony Cregg III), NYC, oldies singer (& the News -“I  Want a New Drug”, “The Power of Love”)/sometime movie actor (“Duets”, “Back To the Future”)

1959 [51] Marc Cohn, Cleveland OH, pop singer (“Walking In Memphis”)/wed to TV anchor Elizabeth Vargas (2002)

1980 [30] Jason Wade, Camarillo CA, rock singer/guitarist (Lifehouse-“You & Me”, “Hanging by a Moment”)

1982 [28] Dave Haywood, Augusta GA, country musician (Lady Antebellum-“Need You Now”, “I Run”)


• “Caribbean Day” (“CARICOM Day”), commemorating the 1973 signing of the Treaty of Chaguaramas, which established the Caribbean Community & Common Market. Observed on the first Monday of July, it’s an excuse for parades, parties, and other festivities in the 15 member nations throughout the Caribbean.

• “Workaholics Day”, a day to remove your nose from the grindstone … just once. A few telltale signs compiled by Workaholics Anonymous that indicate you may be a ‘workie’ …
– Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
– Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
– Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
– Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
– Are you afraid that if you don’t work hard you will be a failure?
– Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going well?
– Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep, or when others are talking?


2000 [10] “Big Brother” premieres (CBS) but fails to generate the buzz it experiences in other versions worldwide

1607 [403] Britain’s national anthem “God Save the King” (Queen) is first sung in public


1937 [73] ‘Spam’, the luncheon meat, is introduced by Hormel Foods Corp

1946 [64] ‘Bikini’ swimsuit design is unveiled at a Paris press conference by designer Louis Reard, who calls it ‘4 triangles of nothing’ (named after a tiny Pacific atoll where early atomic bomb tests are performed)


1937 [73] ‘Highest Maximum Air Temperature’ in Canada set at Yellow Grass SK … 45 C (no wonder the flippin’ grass is yellow!)

2009 [01] Roger Federer wins a record 15th Grand Slam tennis title, after a 5-set match vs Andy Roddick at Wimbledon


[Tues] Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day
[Wed] Chocolate Day
[Wed] Ringo Starr 70th birthday
[Wed] Running Of the Bulls begins (Pamplona, Spain)
[Thurs] “Grease Sing-A-Long” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Calgary Stampede begins

Be Nice to New Jersey Week / Freedom Week / Nude Recreation Week / Unassisted Home Birth Week


A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Red bikinis signal women who like a challenge.
• Pink wearers like to enjoy themselves.
• Women who wear blue tend to be wallflowers, and those who wear dark blue are often depressive.
• Green bikinis indicate women with natural charm.
• Bikinis which tie up at the sides tend to be worn by women ‘ready for anything, but not with just anyone’.
• Women who wear black bikinis are happier with a quick-witted partner.
• White signals women who are the most innocent, probably single, and not necessarily looking for a good time.
– Humboldt University study

What’s the first thing you do when you get home from a trip?

• 22 years ago today (1988), Rocky Kenover set a world record by doing what 403 times in 24 hours?
a. Taking a shower.
b. Eating hamburgers.
c. Skydiving. [CORRECT. He managed 1 jump every 3 minutes, using 50 parachute packers, 7 airplanes, and 10 pilots.]

• What is a dog that’s been trained to jump out of airplanes called?
a. An airdog.
b. A paradog. [CORRECT]
c. A dead dog.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


Today’s Question: Whenever you buy THIS, you are paying a markup of 900%.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Movie theater popcorn. (CNN)


Bad manners are like bad teeth. Nobody knows you have them if you keep your mouth shut.

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