Monday, July 12, 2010        Edition: #4303
The Sheet Hits the Fans!


WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:

• Increasingly scarier actor Mel Gibson is being investigated by police for domestic violence, following claims that he punched former partner Oksana Grigorieva in the face – while she was holding their baby – with such force that he broke her nose and knocked 2 of her teeth out. The incident is being investigated by the same sheriff’s substation that handled Gibson’s 2006 arrest on suspicion of drunken driving. (Can this guy’s career ever be salvaged?)
– People.com
• 54-year-old La Toya Jackson is claiming late brother Michael Jackson spent thousands trying to get his pet chimpanzee ‘Bubbles’ … to speak. La Toya contends the plan involved moving the ape’s larynx further down his throat in order to let his airwaves produce word sounds. But after doctors warned the operation could harm his hairy pal, Michael refused to put Bubbles – who shared his bed and went on the 1987 “Bad” world tour with him – at risk. (Tale of a chimp and a chump.)
– “News Of the World”
• Actor John Krasinski (“The Office”) and actress Emily Blunt (“The Devil Wears Prada”) were wed on Saturday in an intimate outdoor service at Villa D’este in Como, Italy. The acting duo first began dating 10 months ago. Local resident George Clooney and his Italian girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis are said to have attended. (Talk about upscale wedding crashers!)
– Usmagazine.com
• Country star Carrie Underwood & NHL player Mike Fisher wed Saturday under a tent at the Ritz-Carlton Lodge Reynolds Plantation resort in Greensboro GA, with 250 of their friends and family in attendance. Among the guests: Country couple Tim McGraw & Faith Hill, as well as Ottawa Senators hockey players Chris Phillips, Shean Donovan, Nick Foligno, Chris Neil, and former teammate Wade Redden. Word has it the entire resort was booked by the couple at a cost circa $500,000. (The new way to ensure privacy.)
– Jam! Showbiz
• Friends are reportedly urging Lindsay Lohan to stamp out her tobacco habit before she heads behind bars, because smoking is banned in the prison where she’ll serve time. The sometime actress is due to surrender to authorities July 20th to begin her 90-day sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood CA. That’s the same all-female prison where Paris Hilton was (briefly) locked up in 2007. It has a zero tolerance no-smoking policy, something Lohan is expected to struggle with. (Just one more foible that qualifies her for lifelong residency in Loserville.)
– TMZ.com
• And sorta-actress, sorta-singer Jessica Simpson reportedly brought her new boyfriend, former San Francisco 49ers/New Orleans Saints tight end Eric Johnson, to Italy with her for her 30th birthday celebration over the weekend (she turned 30 on Saturday). Eric is still technically married; he filed for divorce from his wife of 5 years in January, but it still hasn’t gone through. (Even though he’s retired, word has it he scored a ‘touchdown’ Sunday afternoon.)
– IsThisHappening.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelorette” (ABC) – Ali visits each of the remaining bachelors’ hometowns to meet their families.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Taylor Swift (“Fearless”); Tim McGraw (“Southern Voice”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Sublime (“Everything Under the Sun”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Angels & Airwaves (“Love”).
• “Last Comic Standing” (NBC) – The top 10 perform in hopes of winning viewer votes.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Dierks Bentley (“Up On the Ridge”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Big Boi (“Sir Lucious Left Foot, The Son of Chico Dusty”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Lady Antebellum performs their newest single “Our Kind Of Love” (“Need You Now” is in its 23rd week as the #1 country album).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tracy Bonham (“Masts of Manhatta”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – “American Idol” Lee DeWyze.

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Brad Paisley – “Water” is the #1 country song for the 2nd consecutive week.
• Drake – Another free NYC concert has been canceled due to security concerns. ABC-TV has dropped a Central Park show scheduled for this Friday on “Good Morning America” because the Parks Department could not come up with a plan to provide sufficient security. His June 15th free concert at South Street Seaport was also canceled, after the large crowd became unruly.
• Kenny Chesney – His new single, “The Boys of Fall” (out today), is the first from his upcoming album, “Hemingway’s Whiskey” (out September 28th). Like the documentary film he’s currently working on, the tune’s all about high school football.
• Ozzy Osbourne – His biography “I Am Ozzy” is being adapted for the bigscreen and, although he is reluctant to appear in it as himself, he tells “FHM” magazine he’d like to do a cameo … as his mother. (Now there’s a scary mental picture!)
• Prince – He’s released some 2.5 million free copies of his new album “20TEN” through European periodicals, including the UK’s “Daily Mirror” and the German edition of “Rolling Stone”. He claims it’s the ‘best way to go’ as there are ‘no charts, no Internet piracy, and no stress’. (Also no money.)
• Queens Of the Stone Age – Josh Homme tells “Rolling Stone” they’ll begin work on a new album later this year.
• Rihanna – Two more cities (Denver and Indianapolis) have been dropped from her “Last Girl On Earth Tour” due to ‘scheduling conflicts’, bringing the total to 5. (Tell it like it is … concert tickets simply aren’t selling this Summer.)
• Usher – Despite the fact that he just released “Raymond v Raymond” in March, he already has a follow-up, “Versus”, due August 24th. It’s being billed as the sequel and ‘final chapter’ to the first album. (BS translation: It’s the 8 leftovers they couldn’t fit into the first package.)

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:

• ‘Mouseless’ is a new invisible working computer mouse built by MIT PhD student, Pranav Mistry. The mouse, or lack thereof, is activated by using your hand with no hardware to control the pointer on your screen. The system makes use of an infrared camera and laser to translate the hand movements into corresponding onscreen functions. (“Honest, Mom! All I was doing was communicating with my mouseless computer.”)
– Techvert.com
• The World Cup has inspired the ‘Kenya Field of Dreams’ project, a program in which a giant inflatable outdoor TV screen measuring 3.5-by-4.5 meters (12-by-15 ft) has been used to show soccer matches in the remotest Kenyan communities, including areas without TVs or even electricity. The screen is suspended in an inflatable frame made from the same material as a ‘bouncy castle’. (Thanks for the TV show …. some clean drinking water would be nice as well.)
– “Digital Planet”

ALL-TIME BEST CGI FILMS:

CGI animation often gets a bad rap, many forgetting that some of the best movies ever made used the technology. A new ranking of the best …
5. “Shrek” (2001)
4. “Wall-E” (2008)
3. “Toy Story” (1995)
2. “Up” (2009)
1. “The Incredibles” (2004)
– HeckllerSpray.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:

• Petroleum giant BP employs a Regional Major Incident Manager by the name of … Brent Spiller.
– Popbitch.com
• Some species of birds urinate on their own legs to evaporate heat away during hot Summer days.
– Slate.com
• Workers began dismantling the 10-story-tall iconic image of departing NBA star Lebron James on a mural in downtown Cleveland on Saturday.
– “Detroit News”
• It’s not unusual for the CEO of a large public company to earn more per day than some of his employees earn over the course of an entire year.
– DailyFinance.com

BS CHRONOMETER 07.12.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [73] Bill Cosby, Philadelphia PA, comedian/former #1 TV star (“The Cosby Show” 1984-92)

1943 [67] Christine McVie, Birmingham UK, classic rock singer (Fleetwood Mac-“Dreams”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1998)

1978 [32] Topher Grace, NYC, movie actor (“Predators”, “Valentine’s Day”)/TV actor (“That ’70s Show” 1998-2005)

1978 [32] Michelle Rodriguez, Bexar County TX, movie actress (“Avatar”, “Fast & Furious” films)/TV actress (“Lost” 2005-06, 2009-10)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Different Colored Eyes Day”, celebrating diversity of eye color. Wouldn’t the world be boring if everyone had eyes the same color? The day also salutes those with eyes that are a different color from one other. Famous people who have that condition (heterochromia) include classic rocker David Bowie, and actors Kiefer Sutherland and Christopher Walken.

• “International Town Criers Day”, honoring the news announcers of yesteryear who wandered throughout towns proclaiming the latest events & announcements of importance, even the weather. The practice has come back into vogue in recent years as a ceremonial bit of theater for special events.

• “Pecan Pie Day”, celebrating one of the most decadent of all desserts. The crust and pecans aren’t necessary … just the yummy goo in the center! Is it ‘PEE-can or ‘puh-CAHN’?

• “Sports Cliché Week”, honoring those kitschy little sayings that play-by-play announcers, analysts, and players have developed into a virtual language. It’s a good excuse to open up the phone lines for listener contributions of favorites and the most overused. A few primers …
– “I just went out there and gave 110%.”
– “We need to take it to the next level.”
– “We’re taking it one game at a time.”
– “The other team just wanted it more.”
– “We have to learn to play within ourselves.”

• “Swimming Pool Day”, a good day to call a friend who has one and invite yourself over. According to an online fact site, if you spend 1 hour in a public swimming pool you come into contact with about 50 oz of urine. But then … that’s according to an online ‘fact’ site.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1982 [28] “ET: The Extra-Terrestrial” breaks a box office record by surpassing the $100-million mark in its first 31 days (now studios look to do that on a long weekend)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1969 [41] “The Ballad Of John & Yoko” by The Beatles peaks at #8 on the pop singles chart (banned by many radio stations for the phrase “Christ, you know it ain’t easy …”)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1960 [50] The Ohio Art Company first markets the ‘Etch-A-Sketch’ toy, a plastic screen with two knobs used for drawing objects (provided they aren’t round)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

1996 [14] Michael Jordan signs with Chicago Bulls for NBA-record $30 million-a-season

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Embrace Your Geekness Day
[Tues] Gruntled Workers Day
[Wed] “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] Gummi Worm Day
[Thurs] St Swithin’s Day
[Fri] “Inception” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Hot Dog Night
[Fri] Cow Appreciation Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Farriers Week / International Chicken Wing Week / Mosquito Week / Parenting Gifted Children Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS ‘CUISINE QUIZ’:
Here’s a fun way to give away a dinner prize. You name the dish, your contestant attempts to name its country of origin. 3 correct out of 5 wins!
GAME #1 –
• Tempura [light batter for deep frying – Japan]
• Moussaka [layered meat & eggplant – Greece]
• Crêpes Suzette [thin pancakes – France]
• Bobotie [curried minced beef – South Africa]
• Yabby [local crayfish – Australia]

GAME #2 –
• Cheese Fondue [melted Swiss cheese for dipping – Switzerland]
• Fat Rascal [spiced biscuit with currants – England]
• Peach Cobbler [fruit topped with batter – USA]
• Nam Pla [fermented fish sauce – Thailand]
• Poutine [french fries smothered in cheese curds & gravy – Canada]
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS WEB GOODIE:
‘The Origins of Band Names’ website features an alphabetical listing of recent and classic rock and pop groups and the derivation of their names. For instance, did you know that Radiohead is named after a Talking Heads song? Excellent site to bookmark for quick reference.
NET: http://www.heathenworld.com/bandname/nav1.aspx

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Ever notice if you’re rich, it’s ‘eccentric’; but when you’re poor, it’s just ‘weird’?

WHAT SHE’S READING THIS MONTH:
• ‘5 Surprising Benefits of Kissing’ – “Woman’s Day”
• ‘How to Fake Flawless Skin’ – “Redbook”
• ‘Freckle, Mole, or Cancer?’ – “Ladies’ Home Journal”
• ‘What to Do With a Naked Man‘ – “Glamour”
• ‘How to Get Carrie Underwood Hair’ – “Cosmopolitan”

WHAT HE’S READING THIS MONTH:

• ‘Seduce Her in 10 Minutes’ – “Men’s Health”
• ‘9 Greatest Stripper Pole Accidents’ – “Maxim”
• ‘Can You Show Your Soft Side?’ – AskMen.com
• ‘Everything You Need to Know About Buying Underwear’ – “Details”
• ‘How to Smell Good’ – “Esquire”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: Experts say you should change THIS once a year at least.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your ATM PIN.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.


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