Tuesday, July 27, 2010        Edition: #4308
Sheet For Brains!

TLC’s “Kate Plus 8” is currently shooting an episode in Alaska which reportedly includes a camping trip for Kate & her brood, hosted by none other than Sarah Palin (wow, two of our faves in one show – pass the bucket!) . . . 38-year-old actress & cancer survivor Christina Applegate has announced she’s launching the charity ‘Right Action For Women’ this September to help at-risk women who can’t afford proper preventative care to get cancer detected early (one of the nice people in show biz) . . . 24-year-old actress Amanda Bynes (“Hairspray”) who recently announced she’s quitting acting because she no longer enjoys it, has now reversed her decision and told Twitter.com followers she’s now ‘unretired’ (we’re sure Hollywood will be clamoring for her) . . . “Twilight” actor Robert Pattinson is the inspiration for British retailer Marks & Spencer’s new line of men’s underwear, dubbed the ‘R-Pant’, which is designed to be worn under skinny jeans and pants (R-Pats apparently turned down the opportunity to ‘front’ the low-waisted gotchies) . . . Actor Tom Cruise has defended daughter Suri’s right to wear grown-up outfits, insisting he wants to encourage the 4-year-old’s ‘self-expression’ (BS translation: As long as his movies keep tanking, he needs a gimmick to keep his name in the forefront) . . . “House” star Hugh Laurie has signed with Warner Music to record a New Orleans-inspired blues album (Quote: I am drunk with excitement at this opportunity”) . . . And famous person Kim Kardashian (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) has begged a fan not to go through with a cosmetic surgery makeover in a bid to look like her, advising the woman on Twitter, “Don’t try 2 b someone else. Im sure u are beautiful inside and out! Just as u are.” (BS translation: If you get a butt implant to match mine, you’ll keep tipping over).

• “Crossroads Guitar Festival 2010” – A 2-hour HD compilation of Eric Clapton’s annual fundraising concert gets a one-time screening in some 475 movie theaters. The day-long event, staged June 26 in Chicago, featured the likes of BB King, Jeff Beck, John Mayer, Sheryl Crow, Vince Gill, ZZ Top, and emcee Bill Murray.
NET: http://bit.ly/aZqsvT
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Metric (“Fantasies”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – The Black Keys (“Brothers”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Angelique Kidjo (“Oyo”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Dierks Bentley performs the ballad ‘Fallin’ For You” from his latest album, “Up On the Ridge”. Bentley & wife Cassidy have just announced they’re expecting their 2nd child in December.
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Backstreet Boys (“This Is Us”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Jaron & The Long Road to Love (“Getting Dressed In the Dark”).

• Kings of Leon – Bassist Jared Followill tells CNN they had to abandon their Friday concert in St Louis, Missouri because pigeons roosting in the rafters of the outdoor venue scored ‘direct hits’ on each of the first 3 songs. A rep says the band tried to hang in but ‘it was disgusting and a toxic health hazard’.
• Leona Lewis – She’s reportedly cancelled plans to take her “Labyrinth” tour across Europe, Asia, and Australia in order to recover from her split with longtime boyfriend Lou Al-Chamaa. (Aw, she’s “Bleeding Love”).
• Taylor Swift – Her follow-up album to “Fearless”, titled “Speak Now”, will be out October 25th. Music biz types are already speculating it could sell more than 1 million units in its debut week. The last album to do that was Lil Wayne’s “Tha Carter III” in 2008.
• Trace Adkins – He’s joined the cast of “The Lincoln Lawyer”, a new movie starring Matthew McConaughey, Marisa Tomei, and William H Macy. He says his is role in a couple of scenes will only take 3 days out of his busy schedule.
• U2 – Producer/singer Dave Hollister (Blackstreet) says he’s been working in the studio with them, re-recording R&B-influenced versions of some of their classics. At this point it’s unclear what the re-mixes will be used for.

• “Clash Of the Titans” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): In this loose adaptation of Greek mythology, Sam Worthington (“Avatar”) stars as ‘Perseus‘, born a god but raised as a man, who sets off on an epic mission to battle ‘Hades’ (Ralph Fiennes) before he can seize power from ‘Zeus’ (Liam Neeson). Remake of 1981 film that starred Laurence Olivier. Shot in 3-D in the UK and Spain.
• “Repo Men” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Jude Law stars as a repo man who repossesses artificial organs from those who fail to make their payments. After he himself is outfitted with a new heart, he’s forced to go on the run when he falls on hard financial times. Co-stars Forest Whitaker, Alice Braga. Shot in Toronto & Hamilton ON.
• Also released today: “Barney: Furry Friends” (Animation); “Jesse Stone: No Remorse” (TV Mystery); “Kansas City Royals: 1985 World Series Collector’s Edition” (Sports); “Sgt Bilko: The Phil Silvers Show – The 1st Season” (Vintage TV); “Stargate Universe 1.5” (Sci-Fi TV); “Stephen Fry in America” (Documentary); and “Steve Byrne: The Byrne Identity” (Comedy).

A new ranking of some of the most shocking movie moments ….
5. “Seven” (1995). The fate of Gwyneth Paltrow’s character.
4. “The Empire Strikes Back” (1980). The revelation of the relationship between ‘Luke Skywalker’ and ‘Darth Vader’.
3. “The Usual Suspects” (1995). Kevin Spacey’s unmasking at the close of the crime thriller.
2. “Psycho” (1960). When ‘Norman Bates’ reveals the real identity of his murderous mother.
1. “Sixth Sense” (1999). When Bruce Willis’ character learns the truth about his existence.
– E1 Entertainment

Scottish brewer BrewDog has created ‘The End of History’, which it claims is the world’s strongest beer (55% alcohol) and also most expensive (circa $775 a bottle). But neither of those is the brew’s most shocking feature … it’s packaged in dead animals. Yep, the bottles are made using deceased stoats, squirrels, and a hare, said to be roadkill. While the limited edition is likely nothing more than a publicity stunt, the groups Advocates for Animals and Alcohol Focus Scotland are both condemning the marketing as ‘perverse’. (A little hair of the squirrel that bit you?)
NET: http://www.brewdog.com/blog-article.php?id=342
– BBC.co.uk

• A big part of the job is window dressing. Brown meat is flipped over, fat is cut off, and blood that might turn you off is dabbed away.
• Some companies pump carbon monoxide into packaging to keep the meat from turning brown.
• Make sure you check the price by weight. Regular size is often cheaper than a ‘family pack’.
• Take the meat tray at the bottom of the stack or the farthest in back. Just like milk, it tends to be fresher.
• Instead of pork chops, buy a whole boneless pork loin roast and slice it into chops an inch thick. You may save up to $2 a pound.
• Even if chicken breasts are labeled ‘100 percent natural’ they may still be injected with sodium-laden broth, salt water, or seaweed extract. Always check the fine print.
• Some of the best-tasting cuts are the ugliest ones, like the flap meat on the belly part of beef.
– Condensed from RD.com

• A new technology combines the coffee table with a universal remote so that people sitting around the table can tap on a screen to change the channel, turn up the volume, or dim the lights. ‘Cristal’ (Control of Remotely Interfaced Systems using Touch-based Actions in Living spaces) is so far just a research project at the University of Waterloo in Ontario.
– “Wired Magazine”
• Las Vegas-based company Flying Pasties Inc has created – quite literally – pasties for your privates to be used by the modest when entering full-body security scanners in airports. The pasties can be worn inside undergarments, or applied with an adhesive hook inside or outside clothing.
– “Social Studies”


What do Katie Holmes, Kate Hudson, and Katherine Heigl have in common aside from the initials KH? They’re all at their ‘most beautiful age’. At least that’s what a UK survey of some 2,000 men & women has found. Most respondents agree that women in their late 20s and early 30s appear more attractive than those at other ages. And the peak age for hotness is deemed to be … 31.
– “Cosmopolitan”

• An Orange County, California woman has been sentenced to a year in the slammer for sending hundreds of threatening text messages … to herself. Prosecutors say she started texting the threats after she and her former boyfriend split up in 2008.
– Huffington Post
• A Bosnian man whose house has been hit 6 times by meteorites claims he’s being targeted by … aliens. The white-hot rocks have hammered his home repeatedly since 2007, forcing him to reinforce the roof with steel. Experts at Belgrade University have confirmed that all the rocks he has produced are, in fact, meteorites.
– Orange News
• Want to catch a cellphone thief? There’s an app for that! David Kahn’s iPhone was stolen in San Francisco, where he was unveiling his company’s new product – a GPS tracking program designed for police and military. If the suspect, arrested in just 10 minutes, had taken the time to check, he’d have seen himself traveling across a map on the screen.
– NYPost.com


• Tour de France etiquette dictates that cyclists in the famous race should not overtake the leader if he suffers mechanical problems.
• A social networking site called Orkut has more members in Brazil than Facebook and Twitter … combined.
– BBC News


1968 [42] Julian McMahon, Sydney, Australia, TV actor (‘Dr Christian Troy’ on “Nip/Tuck” 2003-10)/movie actor (“Fantastic Four” films)

1975 [35] Alex Rodriguez (‘A-Rod’), NYC, MLB All-Star 3rd baseman (NY Yankees)/baseball’s highest-paid player at $33 million this season, pushing his career earnings over $260 million/sometime boyfriend of many, including Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Madonna

1977 [33] Jonathan Rhys Meyers (O’Keeffe), Dublin, Ireland, TV actor (‘Henry VIII’ on “The Tudors” 2007-10)/movie actor (“From Paris With Love”, “Bend It Like Beckham”)  COMING UP: “Mission: Impossible IV” (2011).

1990 [20] Cheyenne Kimball, Frisco TX, country singer/songwriter (Gloriana-“The World Is Ours Tonight”, “Wild at Heart”)


• “Korean War Veterans Armistice Day”, commemorating the 1953 negotiated cease-fire that ended the war on the Korean peninsula. During the 3 years of fierce struggle, over 600,000 Allied lives were lost.

• “Sleepyhead Day” in Finland (‘Unikeonpaiva’), commemorating the Ephysus Martyrs, who are said to have slept in a cave for 200 years starting in 200 AD. On this morning many families throw water on the face of the last person still in bed. (You gotta love those Finns!)

• “Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day”, to help them get to know their real environment.

• “Walk on Stilts Day”, celebrating the feat most often seen in parades and at the circus. Stilt-walking is an ancient art that only requires a pair of stout sticks and lots of practice. (And maybe some extra butt padding in case you take a tumble.)


1940 [70] Long-eared rodent actor ‘Bugs Bunny’ debuts in the cartoon short “A Wild Hare” (artist Bob Clampett creates ‘Bugs’ after seeing actor Clark Gable munching a carrot in the movie “It Happened One Night”)

1974 [36] Eric Clapton’s first solo single, “I Shot the Sheriff”, enters UK music charts

2007 [03] 1st known incidence of 2 news helicopters colliding in mid-air as whirlybirds from Phoenix, Arizona TV stations KNXV and KTVK slam into one another while covering a police chase (no survivors)


[Wed] Milk Chocolate Day
[Wed] Beatrix Potter Day
[Thurs] Lasagna Day
[Thurs] Chili Dog Day
[Thurs] “Jersey Shore” season debut (MTV)
[Fri] Father-In-Law Day
[Fri] System Administrator Appreciation Day
This Week Is … World Football (Hackeysack) Week
This Month Is … Horseradish Month


• His bunny pants are up around his armpits.
• Starting to have that old rabbit smell.
• Plays on the WB Retirement Home lawn bowling team, alongside Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, and Porky Pig.
• Still a ‘wabbit’ … but much less ‘wascally’.
• Habitually licks and grooms himself.
• Hasn’t been himself since Mel Blanc died.
• Now only asks “What’s up, Doc?” during annual prostate exam.
• He’s gone ‘Looney Tunes’!
– BS original

Are you willing to pay to read stuff on the Internet? (“The Times of London” is the latest major newspaper demanding a subscription fee for online access.)

• How long does it take glass to decompose?
a) 100 years.
b) 1,000 years.
c) 1 million years. [CORRECT. It can be recycled an infinite number of times.]

• If you ordered a ‘methuselah’ of champagne, how many liters would the bottle hold?
a) 2.
b) 4.
c) 6. [CORRECT. A ‘magnum’ holds 1.5 liters, a ‘jeroboam’ holds 3, but a ‘methuselah’ contains 6 full liters of party time!]


Cripes, this morning we’re busier than a one-eyed cat watching 9 mouse holes.


Today’s Question: When it travels through THIS, the speed of light is cut in half.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A diamond. That’s what creates the sparkle. (AskMen.com)

Smile … things can always get worse.

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