Tuesday, July 31, 2007        Edition: #3586
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY in Kingston ON a court appearance is scheduled for actress Kristy Swanson, who’s charged with assaulting Marcia O’Brien earlier this year, the ex-wife of her “Skating With Celebrities” co-winner Lloyd Eisler (in this tacky tit-for-tat domestic spat, Swanson later filed assault charges against O’Brien) . . . Thanks to the success of “The Simpsons” and “Transformers” a slew of other animated characters are soon coming to the bigscreen, including “Alvin & the Chipmunks”, “GI Joe”, “He-Man”, and “The Smurfs” (we want a “Betty Boop” remake!) . . . Actress Jennifer Aniston, who recently confessed she’s tiring of life in Hollywood, has done something about it by buying a new NYC apartment (speculation is she’s looking for a comeback career on Broadway) . . . Meantime, word has it 38-year-old Aniston’s relationship with 36-year-old British model Paul Sculfor has fizzled out because of his – ‘demanding schedule’ (translation: she got bored) . . . Sign #213 you have a dysfunctional family: Lindsay Lohan’s estranged father Michael has confessed he records all phone conversations he has with his kids – so his words can’t be used against him in court . . . NFL QB Matt Leinart (Arizona Cardinals) has been ordered to shell out $15,000-a-month in child support, about half of what his former girlfriend Brynn Cameron claimed she needs to care for their 9-month-old son, Cole (they met at USC where he was the star quarterback and she was a basketball player) . . . And actress Danica McKellar (the cute girl on “The Wonder Years” 1988-93) has written a new book called “Math Doesn’t Suck”, advising girls that being pretty AND smart is far better than just being pretty (she was a college math major, unlike say … oh Paris Hilton).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alan Jackson – TODAY the “A Woman’s Love” country hitmaker does “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Common – TONIGHT the Chicago hip-hop artist (aka Lonnie Lynn Jr) performs “The People” on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV).
• Jack Ingram – Fans at the “Measure of a Man” singer’s concerts can now pick some unusual memorabilia … ladies’ panties featuring his autograph.
• Kenny Chesney – His current single “Never Wanted Nothing More” reached #1 faster than any of his previous 11 releases that topped the country chart.
• KISS – Lead singer/guitarist Paul Stanley reveals on his personal blog that he had to leave a weekend show in Southern California due to heart problems before the performance. His racing heartbeat was stabilized in hospital. You know you’re getting too old for rock ‘n roll when …
• Lily Allen – TONIGHT the Brit pop star does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Little Big Town – 37-year-old singer Kimberly Roads has delivered a baby daughter while on tour in Phoenix AZ. ‘Daisy Pearl’ arrived 3 weeks early, necessitating the “A Little More You” group to perform THIS WEEK’s remaining concert dates as a trio.
• Sean Kingston – TODAY he further perpetuates the “Beautiful Girls” brain worm on the “Today Show” (NBC). He was born Ka’Shon Anderson in Miami, Florida.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “300” ( Period War Drama ): In 480 BC, Spartan king Leonidas leads 300 of his warriors into the Battle of Thermopylae against  well over 100,000 soldiers of the Persian army, who are bent on conquering Greece. The battle is said to have inspired all of Greece to band together against the Persians, and helped usher in the world’s first democracy. Based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel. Stars Gerard Butler (“The Phantom of the Opera”), Lena Headey, and David Wenham. Shot in Montréal.
• “Hot Fuzz” ( Action Comedy ): After making his superiors look bad, London’s best cop gets transferred to a sleepy village in the English countryside. There he begins to realize that a series of local accidents may actually be something more sinister. From the creators of the campy cult film “Shaun of the Dead” (2004). Stars Simon Pegg & Nick Frost.
• “Pathfinder” ( War Drama ): A Viking boy is left behind after his clan battles a Native American tribe. Raised within the tribe, he ultimately becomes their savior in a fight against the Norsemen. Stars Karl Urban (“Lord of the Rings”) & Clancy Brown (“The Guardian”). A remake of an Oscar-nominated Norwegian film, shot in Vancouver.
• Also released TODAY: “Dallas: The Complete Seasons 1-7 Pack”; “The Epic Legends Collection” (“Braveheart” & “Gladiator”); “The Film Noir Classic Collection Volume 4”; “Popeye the Sailor: Volume 1 1933-1938”; “Rock the Bells” (hip-hop documentary); and “Roving Mars” (space documentary).

IT’S NOT FAIR:
Women are up to 8 times more prone to knee injuries than men who play the same sports. According to the “Journal of Bone & Joint Surgery”, this especially applies to sports that involve jumping and pivoting, such as volleyball and basketball. Why? It may be due to less muscle protection. (Another study shows that it may be a result of ‘running like a girl’.)
– PA News

THE GRIM REAPER HAS FUR:
A 2-year-old cat is amazing medics by predicting when nursing home patients are about to die. ‘Oscar’, who grew up at the Steere House Nursing & Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island, regularly curls up next to elderly residents in the last few hours of their lives. His accuracy, 25 cases in the past year alone, has led employees to inform immediate family when he chooses someone. It almost always means they have less than 4 hours to live. Most of those chosen are so ill they don’t know he’s there. (New euphemism for death: ‘A visit from the kitty’.)
– “New England Journal of Medicine”

THE MARKETING OF H2O:
• Seems some ‘Designer Water’ … isn’t. PepsiCo has announced it will change the label on its Aquafina water bottles to make it clear that the contents come from the same source as tap water. The bottles are currently labeled ‘PWS’; new labels will spell it out: ‘Public Water Source’. Along with other water bottlers, the company has been criticized by an advocacy group called Corporate Accountability International for misleading marketing practices.
– MSNBC
• An entrepreneur on a tiny island in the south seas is marketing a premium bottled water called ‘Cloud Juice’. 40-year-old Australian Duncan McFee collects the stuff from rain clouds on King Island, near Tasmania. Locals say the water is the purest in the world because clouds travel 7,000 miles from South America without passing over land and picking up pollution. This latest attempt to make water seem exotic is selling for $10 … a bottle.
– UPI

BS INTERNATIONAL MOOS:
• 3 Arab princesses returning from a shopping day in Milan, Italy were kicked off a British Airways flight when they refused to sit next to male passengers they didn’t know. The princesses’ demands for different seating delayed the plane for 3 hours. The furious passengers whistled and clapped when the women were finally ordered off the plane.
• Newcomers to the town of Cranfield, England have raised such a ruckus they’ve convinced the local municipal council to enact a noise abatement regulation that takes effect in AUGUST that will prevent the local church bells from ringing at night. The bells have chimed every quarter hour 24/7 … since 1715.
• Talk about a ‘bingo player’! A bus driver in Slupsk, Poland has admitted to sending text messages on his company’s cellphone – 38,000 of them to be precise – costing the firm about $34,000. At his peak he was sending 1,200 messages a day, all of them in an attempt to win a contest jackpot. He not only didn’t win the contest … he lost his job.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• George W Bush has a pillow named ‘Pilly’, which he takes with him on all his trips.
– Word-Detective.com
• A human jaw can open 30 degrees; a snake jaw can open 130 degrees.
– BathroomReader.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“No review could really do justice to the monumental trashiness of this mess; it really has to be seen to be believed.”
– The “NY Daily News” review of Lindsay Lohan’s new movie “I Know Who Killed Me”. Guess they didn’t like it.

BS CHRONOMETER 07.31.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1962 [45] Wesley Snipes, Orlando FL, movie actor (“Blade: Trinity”, “US Marshals”) who seems to be continually battling tax fraud charges/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1998)

1963 [44] Chad Brock, Ocala FL, country singer (“Yes!”, “Ordinary Life”)

1963 [44] Fatboy Slim (Norman Cook), Reigate, England, dance music DJ/big beat musician (“Right Here Right Now”, “Praise You”)

1965 [42] JK (Joanne) Rowling, Yate, England, mega-selling author who’s gone from struggling single mom to world’s first billionaire author in a single decade/her character ‘Harry Potter’ shares the same birthday  FACTOID: When the first ‘Harry Potter’ novel was written, the publisher asked her to use initials rather than her first name so boys wouldn’t be biassed against a book written a woman.

1979 [28] BJ Novak, Newton MA, TV actor (‘Ryan Howard’ on “The Office” since 2005)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the delights of spun sugar on a stick.

• “Mutts Day”, honoring all dogs of mixed breeds. Purebred owners often view them as lesser in many ways but mutt owners know better!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995 [12] Walt Disney Co agrees to acquire Capital Cities-ABC Inc (including ABC-TV) in a $19-billion deal, at the time the 2nd biggest corporate take-over ever

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [11] Alanis Morissette kicks off her 1st big-time Canadian tour at Vancouver’s GM Place

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1893 [114] 1st patent for ‘Shredded Wheat’ (Ohio’s Henry Perky)

1922 [85] 1st ‘Water Skis’ (Minnesota’s Ralph Samuelson)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1955 [52] Toronto’s 17-year-old Marilyn Bell becomes ‘Youngest to Swim the English Channel’

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Aug 1] Respect for Parents Day / Rounds Resounding Day / Girlfriends Day / Royal St John’s Regatta (Quidi Vidi Lake NL)
[Aug 2] Ice Cream Sandwich Day
[Aug 3] Watermelon Day / “The Bourne Ultimatum”; “Bratz”; “Charlie Bartlett”; “El Cantante”; “Hot Rod”; “Underdog” open in movie theaters
[Aug 3-5] Lollapalooza (Chicago IL)
[Aug 4] Mustard Day / Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction (Canton OH)
[Aug 5] National Date Night
[Aug 6] Fresh Breath Day / Wiggle Your Toes Day / Pamper Yourself Day / National Kids Day / Sisters Day /  Holiday in 7 provinces & NWT (BC Day, Heritage Day, Civic Holiday, Simcoe Day, etc)
[Aug 6-12] 67th Sturgis Bike Week (Sturgis SD)
[Aug 7] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day / 24th National Night Out
[Aug 8] Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night / “Daddy Day Camp” opens in theaters
[Aug 8-16] Elvis Week (Memphis TN)
[Aug 9] Book Lovers Day / International Art Appreciation Day / Hand Holding Day
[Aug 9-12] Edmonton Folk Fest
[Aug 10] S’mores Day / Spoil Your Dog Day / National Underwear Day / “Rush Hour 3″; “Skinwalkers”; “Stardust” open in movie theaters
[Aug 11] Daughters Day / Dog Days of Summer end / Garage Sale Day
[Aug 12] Middle Child’s Day / International Youth Day / Truck Drivers Day / 11th Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run (Vancouver)
[Aug 13] International Left-Handers Day / Stay Home With Your Kids Day
[Aug 14] Senior Citizens Day / Financial Awareness Day / International Nagging Day
[Aug 15] Relaxation Day / Failures Day
[Aug 16] 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death
[Aug 17] Thriftshop Day / “High School Musical 2“ airs (Disney Channel) / “The Hunting Party”; “The Invasion”; “Superbad” open in movie theaters
[Aug 18] Bad Poetry Day
[Aug 17-Sept 3] Canadian National Exhibition (Toronto)
[Aug 19] Aviation Day
[Aug 20] Potato Day / Radio Day / Discovery Day [Yukon]
[Aug 21] Spumoni Day / Homeless Animals Day
[Aug 22] Tooth Fairy Day
[Aug 23-Sept 3] Montréal World Film Festival 2007
[Aug 24] “Illegal Tender”; “Mr Bean’s Holiday”; “Resurrecting the Champ”; “September Dawn”; “War” open in theaters
[Aug 25] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Aug 26] Make Your Own Luck Day / Women’s Equality Day / Single Parent Family Day / 2007 Teen Choice Awards (Los Angeles)
[Aug 27] Petroleum Day
[Aug 28] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon / “Heroes: Season 1“ released on DVD
[Aug 29] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Aug 30] Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Aug 31] Trail Mix Day / Love Litigating Lawyers Day / 10th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death / “Balls of Fury”; “Halloween” open in movie theaters
[Sept 1] World Beard & Moustache Championships (Brighton, England) / CanWest Global’s CH network is re-branded E!
[Sept 2] Summer Of Love 40th Anniversary Concert (San Francisco)
[Sept 3] Labor Day
[Sept 6] 4th Fashion Rocks Concert (NYC) / NFL season kick-off (Indianapolis)
[Sept 6-15] Toronto International Film Festival
[Sept 8-9]  Toronto Virgin Festival

USA
[Aug 1] Respect for Parents Day / Rounds Resounding Day / Girlfriends Day
[Aug 2] Ice Cream Sandwich Day
[Aug 3] Watermelon Day / “The Bourne Ultimatum”; “Bratz”; “Charlie Bartlett”; “El Cantante”; “Hot Rod”; “Underdog” open in movie theaters
[Aug 3-5] Lollapalooza (Chicago IL)
[Aug 4] Mustard Day / Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction (Canton OH)
[Aug 5] National Date Night
[Aug 6] Fresh Breath Day / Wiggle Your Toes Day / Pamper Yourself Day / National Kids Day / Sisters Day
[Aug 6-12] 67th Sturgis Bike Week (Sturgis SD)
[Aug 7] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day / 24th National Night Out
[Aug 8] Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night / “Daddy Day Camp” opens in theaters
[Aug 8-16] Elvis Week (Memphis TN)
[Aug 9] Book Lovers Day / International Art Appreciation Day / Hand Holding Day
[Aug 10] S’mores Day / Spoil Your Dog Day / National Underwear Day / “Rush Hour 3”; “Skinwalkers”; “Stardust” open in movie theaters
[Aug 11] Daughters Day / Dog Days of Summer end / Garage Sale Day
[Aug 12] Middle Child’s Day / International Youth Day / Truck Drivers Day
[Aug 13] International Left-Handers Day / Stay Home With Your Kids Day
[Aug 14] Senior Citizens Day / Financial Awareness Day / International Nagging Day
[Aug 15] Relaxation Day / Failures Day
[Aug 16] 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death
[Aug 17] Thriftshop Day / “High School Musical 2” airs (Disney Channel) / “The Hunting Party”; “The Invasion”; “Superbad” open in movie theaters
[Aug 18] Bad Poetry Day
[Aug 19] Aviation Day
[Aug 20] Potato Day / Radio Day
[Aug 21] Spumoni Day / Homeless Animals Day
[Aug 22] Tooth Fairy Day
[Aug 24] “Illegal Tender”; “Mr Bean’s Holiday”; “Resurrecting the Champ”; “September Dawn”; “War” open in theaters
[Aug 25] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Aug 26] Make Your Own Luck Day / Women’s Equality Day / Single Parent Family Day / 2007 Teen Choice Awards (Los Angeles)
[Aug 27] Petroleum Day
[Aug 28] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon / “Heroes: Season 1” released on DVD
[Aug 29] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Aug 29-Sept 8] Venice Film Festival
[Aug 30] Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Aug 31] Trail Mix Day / Love Litigating Lawyers Day / 10th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death / “Balls of Fury”; “Halloween” open in movie theaters
[Sept 1] World Beard & Moustache Championships (Brighton, England)
[Sept 2] Summer Of Love 40th Anniversary Concert (San Francisco)
[Sept 3] Labor Day
[Sept 6] 4th Fashion Rocks Concert (NYC) / NFL season kick-off (Indianapolis)
[Sept 6-15] Toronto International Film Festival
[Sept 9] 24th MTV Video Music Awards (Las Vegas) / 22nd Farm Aid (NYC)
[Sept 16] 59th Primetime Emmy Awards (Los Angeles)

BULL’S BITS

BS THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR A PARENT SAY:
• “Can you turn up that music? It really calms my nerves.”
• “You can’t finish your peas? Go ahead and throw ‘em away.”
• “Waiter! More ice cream for the little one!”
• “Go ahead, take the car … and here’s 50 bucks for gas.”
• “As a matter of fact, let’s BOTH go get nipple rings!”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Name a food that tastes exactly like its name sounds. (Yogurt? Goulash? Squid?)

BS TRIVIA:
Q: According to soap-maker Unilever, there are 10 areas of the human body that generate odors. Can you name them? [Body parts that come in pairs count as 1 area.]
A: Back, backs of knees, chest, feet, groin, hands, inner elbows, neck, scalp, underarms..
– “Social Studies”

Q: Portugal currently leads the world in the production and industrial application of only 1 product. What is it?
A: Cork. The application? Wine bottling.
– Yahoo! Trivia

BS WEB GOODIE:
A new website has become a sort of obit section for MySpace. It archives the MySpace pages of people who have passed away. It already has a listing of nearly 2,700 cyber-stiffs.
NET: http://mydeathspace.com/

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• Always remember … the end justifies the jeans.
• Sometimes breaking up ISN’T that hard to do.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question:  81% of us have done THIS in the car.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sung.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Two monologues do not make a dialogue.


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