Thursday, July 19, 2007        Edition: #3578
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

Late wrestling star Chris Benoit had 10-times the normal level of testosterone in his body when he murdered his wife and son in JUNE, according to Georgia investigators (wow, that’s almost as much testosterone as poker night at [co-host’s] house!) . . . The reason 33-year-old sometime comedian Dave Chappelle was rushed to a San Francisco ER before being returned home 12 hours later, was that he was suffering from ‘exhaustion & dehydration’ (coincidentally 2 of the side effects of taking Ecstasy – we’re just sayin’)  . . . Fergie says she loves watching her boyfriend Josh Duhamel act out love scenes with other women on the set of his TV show “Las Vegas” (kinky!) . . . 76-year-old former “Star Trek” actor William Shatner will host “Shatner’s Raw Nerve”, a new celebrity-interview show on the Biography Channel that will feature both actors and politicians (this guy’s like the Eveready Bunny!) . . . NBC-TV’s premiere of “The Singing Bee”, hosted by *NSYNC alum Joey Fatone, generated the biggest audience among young viewers of any new summer series in 5 years, according to Nielsen Media Research . . . In Germany, a new channel called Eos TV is being developed that will be exclusively devoted to aging, dying, and death (documentaries about graveyards, televised obits, tips on finding a retirement home, etc) . . . And “Desperate Housewives” creator/producer Marc Cherry says he warned NBA star Tony Parker that his new wife Eva Longoria has the body of ‘a 12-year-old boy’ (what disturbed Tony was that he was drooling when he said it).

• The Bravery – TONIGHT the “Time Won’t Let Me Go” rockers guest on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Fountains Of Wayne – TONIGHT they’re on “Late Night With Conan O’ Brien” (NBC/A Channel).
• Gwen Stefani – Her Harajuku Lovers & LAMB clothing lines are suing retail outlet Forever 21 for trademark infringement, claiming the retail chain stole designs and labeled them with a similar heart/box logo.
• James Blunt – All royalties from his smash hit album “Back to Bedlam” (11 million copies sold worldwide) have been suspended until a legal action is resolved. Producer Lukas Burton claims he co-wrote 6 of the songs and deserves a cut; but Blunt says he wrote them all by himself.
• Justin Timberlake – He & 2 buddies are opening up a Memphis-style restaurant called Southern Hospitality in NYC this week. The menu features dishes derived from JT’s original family recipes.
• The Killers – Frontman Brandon Flowers & wife Tana have a new baby boy, their first child. No name has  yet been announced. Son Flowers?
• The Police –  Sting & wife Trudie Styler have been ordered to pay a former chef compensation after losing a sexual discrimination case. Jane Martin was awarded $51,000 after claiming she was sacked by Styler because she became pregnant.
• Puddle Of Mudd – TONIGHT they perform “Famous” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Shakira – She’s reportedly asked her fiancé Antonio de la Rua to sign a pre-nuptial agreement before they marry in SEPTEMBER, renouncing any right to her fortune. They’ve been engaged for 6 years.
• System of a Down – Frontman Serj Tankian is currently in the studio mixing his debut solo album, “Elect The Dead”, which will be released THIS FALL.
• Taylor Swift – Her page gets more hits than any other country artist on MySpace. It’s just surpassed the 20-million mark for music streams.
• Travis – TODAY the Glasgow, Scotland rockers do “MTV Live” (MTV Canada).

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Chasing the Dragon” – Robert De Niro is set to produce and star in this upcoming bio-film about Chinese Communist leader Mao Tse Tung’s rise to power in the 1940s. Presumably De Niro won’t be playing the lead role.
• “Horton Hears a Who!” – Jim Carrey’s set to play the lead in another animated Dr Seuss tale, with Steve Carell co-starring as the ‘Mayor of Whoville’.
• “Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll” – Rocker Marilyn Manson plans to start shooting this delayed project later this year. He was inspired to make the horror bio-pic after reading the writer’s diaries. Manson will play Carroll; girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood will co-star.
• “Traitor” – In this upcoming spy flick, Don Cheadle will play a CIA operative who’s suspected of working for a terrorist group. Guy Pearce will play an FBI agent investigating the case. The film’s due to screen in 2008.
• “X-Files 2” – TV series creator Chris Carter has co-written a new script and is set to direct the sequel film, and David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson are onboard to reprise their roles as ‘Scully’ and ‘Mulder’. It’s not as if the three of them are too busy doing other things.

A new study says the national crime rate hit its lowest point in more than 25 years in 2006, driven by a decline in non-violent crime. Statistics Canada says the crime rate dropped by 3% LAST YEAR, mainly due to declines in break-ins, thefts under $5,000, and counterfeiting. The national crime rate has decreased by about 30% since peaking in 1991. (Some of you just aren’t trying!)
– “Globe & Mail”

According to a hard-to-believe E-Poll online survey, here are Hollywood’s hottest femmes …
5. [tie] Halle Berry / Beyoncé Knowles (considered ‘hot’ by 59% of voters)
4. Shakira (63%)
2. [tie] Jessica Alba / Carmen Electra (64%)
1. Salma Hayek (65%), who’s 40-years-old and pregnant … not that there’s anything wrong with that.
– Bridge Entertainment

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … taking vitamin C to combat the common cold is a waste of time; it neither prevents colds nor cures symptoms. That’s the conclusion of a research team from Finland’s University of Helsinki & the Australian National University after analysis of some 30 studies carried out over 6 decades, involving more than 11,000 patients. Drinking orange juice or eating an orange is equally useless. (In related news, an apple a day does absolutely nothing whatsoever to keep the doctor away.)
• Scientists say …  putting garlic in cattle feed may help reduce the amount of methane gas that cows emit by up to 50%. Researchers at the UK’s University of Wales are now testing out the treatment to see if it the garlic taints milk or meat – or gives cattle bad breath. (Not to mention SBDs – silent-but-deadlies.)
• Scientists say … piranha fish are much less aggressive than we have been led to believe. A new study at Scotland’s University of St Andrews suggests that they are more scavengers than predators. (Yeah right, but you’ve never heard about a gang of carp chewing off someone’s leg, have you?)
• Scientists say …  men who consume chocolate are less likely to suffer from diabetes, depression, and excess belly fat later in life. (However, there’s simply nothing attractive about an 80-year-old geezer with zits.)

American Institute for Cancer Research has developed a list of guidelines to help women lower cancer risk and enjoy better overall health …
• Consume 5 servings of vegetables & fruits per day and at least 14 oz of whole grains, cereals, and other complex carbohydrates.
• Adult weight gain should not be more than 11 lbs from age 18.
• Daily exercise is a must and one should get a vigorous workout once a week.
• Women should limit alcohol consumption to 1 drink per day.
• Red meat should be limited to 3 oz per day.
• Fats should not exceed 30% of total calorie intake.
• Daily salt intake should not exceed 2,400 milligrams.
• Don’t smoke.

• 45% of the US population has no dental insurance. That’s the reason low-cost Mexican dentists near the border are enjoying a surge in popularity.
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”
• 11% of Americans claim they’ve witnessed or experienced ‘exorcism’. (Maybe they mean ‘exercise’?)
– “Psychology Today”

This week the White Stripes wrapped up their tour of every province & territory in Canada on an outdoor stage in St John’s, Newfoundland where they played the shortest gig ever – a ‘one-note set’ that lasted 1 whole second. BTW, the note was reportedly an F.

• “I do the old man view now. I picture myself in my 80s looking back at my life. A tour? One record? That is such a blip on the radar.”
– Country star Keith Urban, revealing to “The Tennessean” what he learned in rehab.
• “I drive a Toyota hybrid and it’s great. It goes like stink, it’s plenty fast.”
– Rocker Jon Bon Jovi, who may have come up with Toyota’s new ad slogan.


1947 [60] Brian May, Hampton UK, classic rock guitarist (Queen-“Bohemian Rhapsody”)/songwriter who collects royalties each time “We Will Rock You” is played at a sports event  FACTOID: “We Will Rock You” is also the name of the stage musical based on Queen music that first opened in London’s West End in 2002.

1960 [47] Atom Egoyan, Cairo, Egypt, Toronto-based film director (“Where the Truth Lies”, “The Sweet Hereafter”)/4-time “Cannes Film Festival” winner/7-time “Genie Award” winner/Order of Canada (1999)

1971 [36] Urs Buhler, Willisau, Switzerland, pop/operatic singer (Il Divo-“Time of Our Lives”, “Mama”)

1982 [25] Jared Padalecki, San Antonio TX, TV actor (‘Sam Winchester’ on “Supernatural” since 2005)

• “Capital Ex” in Edmonton, through July 28th. This year’s entertainment includes Nelly Furtato (Saturday), “Dancing With The Stars: The Tour” (Saturday), Our Lady Peace (Sunday), and Three Days Grace (Wednesday). We still kinda miss the old name “Klondike Days”.

• “Flitch Day”, based on a custom begun in the 15th century in which monks offered a ‘flitch’ or side of bacon as a prize to any married couple who could prove they had lived together in harmony and fidelity for the past year. Very few ‘took home the bacon’.

1961 [46] TWA (Trans World Airlines) shows the first-ever ‘In-Flight Movie’ (“In Love Possessed”, starring Lana Turner & Efrem Zimbalist Jr)

1995 [12] “Clueless” starring Alicia Silverstone opens in movie theaters (soon each & every high school female begins each & every sentence with ‘So like …’)

1996 [11] Celine Dion sings “The Power of the Dream” at opening ceremonies for the “Atlanta Summer Games”, largest in the Olympics’ 100-year history with 197 nations participating

1695 [312] 1st ‘Personal Ad’ looking for a spouse is printed (“Single white Pilgrim seeks …”)

1985 [22] 7′-10” George Bell of Durham NC wins title of ‘Big Foot’ with his size 28.5 shoe

1994 [13] ‘Largest Bubble-Gum Bubble’ measures 23 inches in diameter (Fresno CA)

1997 [10] Daniel Komen of Kenya breaks the 8-minute barrier for the 2-mile run while setting a new world record of 7:58.61 in Hechtel, Belgium

[Fri] Moon Day
[Fri] Chess Day
[Fri] Lollipop Day
[Fri] Special Olympics Day
[Fri] “Hairspray”; “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”; and “Sunshine” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Junk Food Day
[Mon] Democratic presidential candidate debate (CNN)
[Mon] Gorgeous Grandma Day
This Week Is … Space Week
This Month Is … Tahiti Awareness Month


• Does it really matter where the nuclear bombs are pointed?
• What do they call a Danish in Denmark? Or China in China?
• What does an atheist say when someone sneezes?
• If a guy tells you he’s honest, should you believe him?
• Shouldn’t the cyclist who wins the “Tour de France” do a victory lap?

• If you could have had a child with a famous person no longer living, whom would you choose?
• Are today’s parents coddling their kids? A new study finds that fully one-third of children aged 7-to-10 are NEVER allowed to play outside.

What did the following stars do before they hit the big time?
• Singer Faith Hill (“Lost”) –
a. Farm Hand
b. Professional Basketball Player
c. Receptionist [CORRECT. At a music publishing company.]

• Singer Madonna (“Hung Up”) –
a. Dunkin’ Donuts Counter Person [CORRECT. In NYC’s Times Square.]
b. Insurance Sales Rep
c. Hooker

• Media magnate & talk show queen Oprah Winfrey (“Oprah”) –
a. Radio News Reporter [CORRECT. At WVOL Nashville TN.]
b. Kindergarten Teacher
c. Sumo Wrestler

This sounds like something off “The Office” but a consulting firm known as The Fun Department helps companies stage ‘recess’ at work, when employees compete in fun activities such as relay racing and broom hockey. Why? A happy environment supports team-building, morale and motivation. But what’s all this fun cost?
Phoner: 302.731.8800 (Jayla Boire, Newark DE)

• As part of the ramp-up to “The Bourne Ultimatum” (opening AUGUST 3rd), Universal Pictures has launched the online game “The Ultimate Search for Bourne with Google”, in which players assume the persona of a former CIA operative tracking rogue agent ‘Jason Bourne’.
• Despite intense security during printing, a website claims to have all kinds of plot spoilers from “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows”, days ahead of its 12:01 am SATURDAY release. There are also posted pics of alleged text from the book. If it’s real, the final 3 words in the ‘Potter’ series will be “All was well”.

• I’ve become such an insomniac. Last week I was convicted of resisting a rest.
• I believe you should never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

Today’s Question: In the average lifetime, a woman will do THIS 4 times more often than a man.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Go to the doctor.

Happy people don’t need to have ‘fun’.

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