Wednesday, July 11, 2007        Edition: #3572
Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!

TODAY Nicole Richie’s trial on DUI charges is scheduled to get underway in Los Angeles (she’s pleaded not guilty after being busted last DECEMBER driving the wrong way on a freeway and then allegedly confessing to smoking pot & taking Vicodin) . . . TODAY at the “E3 Media & Business Summit” in Santa Monica CA, 2 of the 3 video games filmmaker Steven Spielberg is developing for video game publisher Electronic Arts will be previewed, identified only by the code names ‘LMNO’ and ‘PQRS’ (what are the odds they have to do with ‘IJ4′ – the 4th instalment of “Indiana Jones”?) . . . TODAY is moving day for Victoria & David Beckham (aka ‘Posh & Becks‘) as they relocate their family from London to Los Angeles in time for his JULY 21st debut with Major League Soccer’s LA Galaxy (the packing/unpacking will be covered by several cameras for the 1-hour TV special, “Victoria Beckham: Coming to America”, JULY 16th on NBC/CTV) . . . Meantime, Victoria Beckham has announced she has no plans to launch an acting career following her move to Tinseltown (seems even she’s embarrassed about 1997’s “Spice World”) . . . ‘Harry Potter’ fans have launched a ‘Save Harry!’ petition to save the boy wizard from being killed off in the 7th and final book of the adventure series (yeah that’ll work, seeing as it’s already being printed) . . . . Pseudo-actress Tori Spelling has finally ended the long-running feud with her mother Candy and reportedly accepted a paltry $200,000-slice of her late millionaire father Aaron Spelling’s $500-million fortune (because mommy isn’t looking so well lately anyway) . . . There’s been no confirmation yet but the inside word is NBC-TV has decided to re-up Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice” for at least 1 more season (they’re looking to set the record for the first ‘0′ rating?) . . . Despite a massive line-up of talent for the London show, the British TV audience for the “Live Earth” concerts was less than a third of that for the “Concert for Diana” the previous SUNDAY . . . And actor Vin Diesel is currently in talks to reprise his role as ‘Dominic’ in “The Fast & The Furious 4” (cuz that whole kid comedy thing he did in “The Pacifier” just ain’t workin’).

• The Beatles – They’re about to be honored with a monument in Hamburg, Germany more than 4 decades after they played their first gigs there.
• The Clash – Former guitarist Mick Jones recently joined Billy Bragg to perform “Should I Stay Or Should I Go” in London’s Wormwood Scrubs prison, then handed out guitars to inmates. Their ‘Jail Guitar Doors’ organization encourages prisoners to take up music as an outlet.
• Diddy – TONIGHT he’s a guest on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Genesis – The group’s reunion tour is taking a toll on Phil Collins. He’s split with his 3rd wife, Orianne Cevey, and now regrets all the travel is keeping him away from Switzerland, where she lives with their 2 sons.
• Kelly Rowland – TODAY the Destiny’s Child alum does “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Lifehouse – TONIGHT they appear on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Natalie Imbruglia – She’s just been dropped as a spokesmodel for cosmetics giant L’Oreal, a gig she’s had since 2002. It seems they finally noticed it’s been 10 long years since “Torn”.
• Nick Lachey – TONIGHT he’s on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV). Wonder if he’ll bring along vacation pictures of him & Vanessa?
• The Police – Sting has revealed that he quit taking cocaine in the early 1980s … because it blocked up his sinuses.
• T-Pain – THIS MORNING he’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Aerotoxic Syndrome’ – Being poisoned by fumes from leaking engine fuel while flying. 8% of airline pilots have had to retire because of it. A leak can be detected by its ‘dirty socks’ smell. ([Co-host] was saying he thinks he has aerotoxic syndrome under his bed.)
• ‘Online Identity Management’ – An upstart new business sector in which companies attempt to manage clients’ reputations by getting positive items about them moved upward in Internet searches and negative references buried deep. (Experiment: Google Lindsay Lohan and see what you get.)
• ‘Petrosexual’ – A guy who cares more about his dog or cat than the girl he’s dating. (“Scott will never take you out for dinner because that would mean he’s not home to feed Max, his Yorkie. The guy’s a total petrosexual.”)

“Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix” ( PG-13 Fantasy Adventure ): Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson & Rupert Grint return in the starring roles. As readers of the book will know, this is where things turn really dark for ‘Harry’ and company as authoritarian bureaucrat ‘Dolores Umbridge’ (Imelda Staunton) steadily seizes power at ‘Hogwarts’ school. In IMAX theaters, the film’s final 20 minutes can be seen in 3-D.

A group of Spanish women wants equality at the annual San Fermin Festival’s famous ‘Running of the Bulls’ in Pamplona, Spain … they’re demanding ‘cow runs’. A tongue-in-cheek petition on a Spanish student website has received increasing support for its ‘Cows Want to Run’ in recent days, but it’s unlikely to have any impact at this year’s fest which ends SATURDAY. Since records began in 1924, 13 people have been killed in the runs, the last a 22-year-old American in 1995.

• In London UK, a Muslim juror has been arrested and charged with contempt of court after she was found to be secretly listening to an iPod hidden under her hijab … during a murder trial. The judge thought he heard a ‘tinny sound’ but his suspicions were only confirmed when another jury member sent him a snitch note. (Unconfirmed reports say she was listening to “The Kill” by 30 Seconds to Mars.)
• In San Diego CA, a 24-year-old man was surrounded by a dozen cops with drawn weapons as he exited a bank following a telephone tip-off from an eagle-eyed employee inside. Fortunately, the reported ‘weapon’ in his waistband turned out to be nothing more than … a gun-shaped belt buckle. (“Hands up or I’ll drop my pants!”)
• In Manchester NH, a 49-year-old man has been arrested as a suspect in a bank robbery where the perp was disguised as … a tree. The robber, who had tree branches duct-taped all over his body, did manage to scoop some cash but was quickly located after cops received an anonymous tip. (“There’s a runaway spruce on Elm Street!”)

The biggest complaints we have when eating out, according to a new Opinion Research poll …
• Rude or unfriendly server. (25%)
• Underestimated wait time for a table. (20%)
• Slow service. (15%)
• Food quality/selection issues. (12%)
• Cold food. (10%)
– “Globe & Mail”

A poll of some 600 ‘high-net worth’ individuals worldwide, each with investable assets over $200,000, has asked the big spenders about their attitude towards money, the impact it’s had on their lives and their motivation for saving and spending. Perhaps surprisingly, researchers have found a direct correlation between the amount of money a person has and their positive outlook. 70% say money has given them more leisure time; 66% think it’s improved their health; and 63% say it’s brought increased job satisfaction. So, at least according to this survey, it seems the old saying ‘money can’t buy happiness’ could be false. (Oh sure, now they tell us! Is it too late to go back to dental school?)
– “The Economist”

• Residents of the town of Keizer, Oregon have been complaining that 52 cement posts installed at a busy intersection to guard pedestrians from passing traffic closely resemble … phallic symbols. So now the city is looking to outfit the posts with metal collars and connecting chains to change their appearance. (And shouldn’t they be covered in Glad bags for safety?)
• A 5-year-old Australian boy has been rejected by St Peter Apostle School in Hoppers Crossing, Australia because … his last name is ‘Hell’. But after Alex Hell reported to the press that his son Max was refused enrolment solely because of his surname, the school board has recanted and offered the boy a place. (To which the father replied, “Go to Max!”)

• Ever find that your jeans feel tighter in the heat of Summer? Extreme weather leads people to avoid exercise, making it easier for them to pack on pounds, researchers report.
– “Cosmopolitan”
• 10 minutes of skipping rope is equivalent to a half-hour of jogging, according to Jean Hodges, jump-rope tournament director for the Amateur Athletic Union.
– “Sacramento Bee”

“There are too many stupid girls in the media. I think sometimes really smart girls dumb themselves down a bit, and that’s bad.”
– 17-year-old ‘Harry Potter‘ actress Emma Watson (‘Hermione Granger’), trashing her peers in “Parade” magazine.


1934 [73] Giorgio Armani, Piacenza, Italy, fashion designer (Armani suits)

1950 [57] Liona Boyd, born London UK, raised in Canada, ’The First Lady of the Guitar’/classical guitarist (“Dancing on the Edge”)

1951 [56] Bonnie Pointer, Oakland CA, oldies singer (Pointer Sisters-“I’m So Excited”, “Slow Hand”)

1959 [48] Richie Sambora, Perth Amboy NJ, rock guitarist (Bon Jovi-“Who Says You Can’t Go Home”, “It’s My Life”)/ex-Mr Heather Locklear (1994-2007)/rehab grad

1965 [42] Scott Shriner, Toledo OH, rock bassist (Weezer-“Perfect Situation”, “Beverly Hills”)

1970 [37] Justin Chambers, Springfield OH, TV actor (‘Dr Alex Karev’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1972 [35] Michael Rosenbaum, Oceanside NY, TV actor (‘Lex Luthor’ on “Smallville” since 2001)

1975 [32] Lil’ Kim (Kimberly Denise Jones), Brooklyn NY, rapper (w/50 Cent-“Magic Stick”, f/Mr Cheeks-“The Jump Off”)/reality TV personality (“Lil’ Kim: Countdown To Lockdown”)

• “Cheer Up The Lonely Day”, an opportunity to make a lonely person happy by spending some time with them. Hey, it’s a good day to give [co-host] a call.

• “International Town Criers Day”, honoring the news announcers of yesteryear who wandered throughout towns proclaiming the latest events & announcements of importance, even the weather. The practice has come back into vogue in recent years but more as ceremonial bit of theater for special events.

• “Pet Photo Day”, a day to pose your little darlin’ and snap off a few JPEGs. And don’t forget to further humiliate the critter by decking it out in a dress and funny hat. And be sure to Photoshop the result and add the torso of a platypus.

• “World Population Day”, declared by the UN as a day to focus on the problems of overpopulation. About 150 people are born each minute or close to a quarter-million people daily. World population crossed the 5-billion mark in 1987; the 6-billion mark in 1999; and is expected to hit 7 billion by 2013.

1999 [08] Gross-out comedy “American Pie” tops the movie box office (spawns 2 sequels)

1088 [919] 1st ‘Clock’ is built (before that, no one was ever ‘late’ for anything)

1906 [101] Canadian Senate passes ‘Lord’s Day Act’, officially making Sunday a national ‘Day of Rest’ (well, so much for that idea)

1946 [61] 1st ‘7-Eleven’ convenience stores open (Oak Cliff TX), originally named for the store hours – 7 am to 11 pm – and never changed when they went to 24 hours (now owned by a publicly-traded Japanese conglomerate)

1919 [88] A golfer is said to have played 180 holes in a single day

[Thurs] Swimming Pool Day
[Thurs] Pecan Pie Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Fri] “Captivity” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Gruntled Workers Day
[Fri] Embrace Your Geekness Day
[Sat] National Nude Day
[Sat] Cow Appreciation Day
This Week Is … Farriers Week (they shoe horses, don’t they?)
This Month Is … Doghouse Repairs Month (something for guys to do when sent there)


Ellen Barrett & Barrie Dolnick, co-authors of the book “Zodiaction”, recommend specific fitness routines based on your astrology sign. For instance …
• Aries – Avoid wussy sports. Cycling, running and hiking are right for you.
• Taurus – You can be stubbornly lazy. Look for gentle, yet thorough workouts you can do at home.
• Gemini – Your mind wanders. Avoid monotonous workouts.
• Cancer – When crabby, go for a run or solo yoga session.
• Leo –  Pilates is an ideal workout. You are in your element when you can be admired.
• Virgo – Stick to full-body conditioning that concentrates on your abs and relaxation.
• Libra – Avoid rugby and boxing gyms. Stretch and do balance work and low-impact cardio to quiet your mind.
• Scorpio – Your ideal workout is anything that requires extreme effort, like ballet, triathlons or distance running.
• Sagittarius – You are the worst candidate for a day-in/day-out routine.
• Capricorn – Avoid workout plateaus. You need goals!
• Aquarius – Avoid the latest workout fad. Instead, focus on full-body stretching and cardio to feel grounded.
• Pisces – Avoid aggressive crowds and crashing music. Swimming is ideal for you.

• If a movie were made about your life, what would the theme song be?
• Are nursery rhymes too silly & violent for today’s toddlers? (A new survey of some 1,200 parents suggests that traditional nursery rhymes are fading in popularity. Just 12% of respondents could recall 3 or more nursery rhymes in their entirety.)

“Where Are the Jonses?” is said to be the world’s first daily online interactive sitcom. Using  Wikipedia-like technology, viewers can rewrite the script; add, remove, or edit comments; and submit storylines. A new 5-minute episode is available for viewing each day via YouTube.

The rooster may crow, honey … but the hen delivers.

Today’s Question: Whether indoors or out, the average man can do THIS more easily than a woman when asked.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Point north.

Fake it ’til you make it.

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