Friday, July 30, 2021 — Edition: #7041
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet is heading off for its annual summer holiday and will not be publishing Monday August 2 through Friday August 6. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday August 9.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ David Letterman’s “Stupid Pet Tricks” is making a television comeback. TBS has greenlighted a 10-episode half-hour comedy-variety series inspired by the iconic segment Letterman did for three decades on NBC’s “Late Night” and CBS’ “Late Show”, with Sarah Silverman as host. The show will feature a parade of pets performing ridiculous, impressive and extraordinary tricks before a live audience, interweaving comedic bits and games, as pet parents join their furry (or scaley) friends in the quest to be crowned with the title of ‘Stupidest Trick of the Week’. Silverman said: “The rule in show business is, ‘never work with animals or children,’ but I choose to work with David Letterman anyway.” Production will begin later this year.
★ Drew Barrymore is the latest talk-show host set to welcome back a live studio audience. She intends to return for a second season with a fully vaccinated crowd. The plan is to bring back audiences on a COVID-compliant set, but as we know with all productions right now, that is subject to change depending on the pandemic situation next month. Barrymore joins the majority of late-night hosts, including Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon, who have recently brought back audiences.
★ Prince Harry‘s second memoir will NOT be timed to coincide with his grandmother Queen Elizabeth’s death, despite a report from the Daily Mail. Initial reports claimed that the second of a four-book deal is “due out only after the Queen has died,” but a spokesperson for the Duke of Sussex denies the accuracy of that statement, saying that none of the books in Harry’s deal are contingent upon the queen’s health or passing.
★ The iconic animated children’s show “Arthur” will come to an end with its upcoming 25th season, set to debut in 2022. The series holds the record for longest-running children’s animated show on U.S. television, and is the second-longest-running animated show of any kind in America behind only “The Simpsons”. Over the years, many celebrities have made guest appearances on “Arthur”, including Yo-Yo Ma, Art Garfunkel, Matt Damon, Alex Trebek, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and more.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Chelsea Handler, Chris Bosh, Moneybagg Yo, guest host Phoebe Robinson (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Joy Reid, Alessia Cara (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Forest Whitaker, Kane Brown (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Molly Ringwald, Whitney Cummings
• “The Talk” (CBS): Matthew Rhys, James Purefoy, Dove Cameron, guest co-host Daymond John
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jay Pharoah, Amoila Cesar, guest co-host Maria Menounos
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Don Johnson, Nicole Byer (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Julie Andrews, Emma Walton Hamilton, Madison Beer (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Kristen Bell, Jenna Lyons, Amirah Kassem (R)
• “2020 Tokyo Olympics” (NBC, CBC): Track and Field, Beach Volleyball, Swimming, Equestrian, Athletics
• “Burden of Truth” (CW): Season 4 premiere
• “Back on the Record With Bob Costas” (HBO): Series premiere. Roundtable discussions that address the most pressing issues impacting the sports world.
• “2020 Tokyo Olympics” (NBC): Beach Volleyball, Track and Field, Swimming, Equestrian, Field Hockey
• “Love, for Real” (HALLMARK): Hayley and her BFF Bree go on a reality dating show to publicize her fashion line, but nothing goes as planned when love, friendship and careers are on the line.
• “You’re Not Safe Here” (LIFETIME): After surviving an accident, a young pregnant woman wakes up in the home of an isolated couple who live in the woods. She soon realizes that her seemingly friendly saviors want her baby for their own.
• “2020 Tokyo Olympics” (NBC): Diving, Beach Volleyball, Gymnastics, Track and Field, Athletics, Canoe
• “36th Annual Stellar Gospel Music Awards” (BET): Performances by Jonathan McReynolds, JJ Hairston, the Clark Sisters and more; a tribute to Tramaine Hawkins; hosts Jekalyn Carr and Tye Tribbet.
• “Kevin Can F… Himself” (AMC): Season 1 finale
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Weeknd — will receive the Quincy Jones Humanitarian award at the first annual Music in Action Awards. He’ll be among the honorees at the Black Music Action Coalition event in Hollywood on Sept. 23, recognizing his donations of several million dollars to various causes since the pandemic began.
• Lorde – says the artist she’d most like to record a song with . . . is Harry Styles. And according to her, her upcoming album “Solar Power”, out Aug. 20, is a “buzzy mix” of S Club, TLC and Fleetwood Mac.
• Wu-Tang Clan – “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin,” the unreleased album entrepreneur Martin Shkreli paid $2 million for in 2015, has been sold for an undisclosed sum after he was convicted for fraud. Prosecutors say it was enough to fully satisfy the rest of what the “Pharma Pro” owed on a $7.4 million forfeiture order.
• Kelly Clarkson — has been ordered by a judge to pay ex-husband, Brandon Blackstock, $195,000-per-month in spousal and child support. Documents list her monthly income at over $1.5 million, and show that Blackstock has ended his career as a music business manager to become a “rancher full-time”. As well as overseeing Clarkson’s career, he also managed Blake Shelton.
• Jon Bon Jovi and Whitney Houston – Both New Jersey celebs will have newly spruced-up highway rest stops named after them. The revamped rest stops also include bathroom breaks devoted to James Gandolfini and Frank Sinatra. But a spokesperson says Bruce Springsteen “respectfully declined” to have a service area named after him.
• Smashing Pumpkins — guitarist Jeff Schroeder says the group is “about halfway through” recording “another big album”. He calls it a “sequel to ‘Mellon Collie [and the Infinite Sadness]’ and ‘Machina’, so it’s the third in a trilogy — more of a concept-based album.”
• Rush — will return to the big screen as “Rush: Cinema Strangiato – Director’s Cut” comes to select movie theaters on September 9. This global fan event takes an alternate “director’s cut” of 2019’s feature to celebrate the 40-year anniversary of the “Moving Pictures” album.
• KT Tunstall — has cancelled her summer tour dates including a support slot with Hall & Oates in the US, due to hearing concerns. She has been experiencing tinnitus in her right ear, the same affliction that led to her being unable to hear in her left ear 3 years ago.
• Jimmie Allen—The singer, songwriter, music executive and author is adding to his list of credits. He has signed on as the executive music producer for the Netflix sports reality series “Titletown High”, debuting Aug. 27. A previously unreleased Allen song ‘Big in a Small Town’ will be the theme song.
• Carrie Underwood — closed out the first night the Country Music Association’s CMA Summer Jam with a special guest. Dwight Yoakam joined her onstage at Nashville’s Ascend Amphitheater on Tuesday night for a rendition of his hits ‘A Thousand Miles From Nowhere’ and ‘Guitars, Cadillacs’. LINK: https://youtu.be/LgGE6J_poSI
SHOOTING THE BULL
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Jungle Cruise” (PG-13, Action/Comedy): Based on Disneyland’s theme park ride, a doctor enlists the aid of a wisecracking skipper to take her down the Amazon in his ramshackle boat. Together, they search for an ancient tree that holds the power to heal – and change the future of medicine. (Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt)
• “Stillwater” (R-Rated, Mystery): A father travels from Oklahoma to France to help his estranged daughter, who is in prison for a murder she claims she didn’t commit. (Matt Damon, Abigail Breslin)
• “The Green Knight” (R-Rated, Adventure): The story of Sir Gawain, King Arthur’s reckless and headstrong nephew, who embarks on a daring quest to confront the Green Knight, a gigantic emerald-skinned stranger and tester of men. (Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander)
Olympic organizers are asking athletes NOT to bite their medals. The habit, a common sight among hardware winners in any Olympic event, comes with an interesting twist this time around: All medals are made from recycled cellphones. That fact inspired Tokyo’s organizing committee to jokingly warn athletes on Twitter: “Our medals are not edible! (They) are made from material recycled from electronic devices donated by the Japanese public. So, you don’t have to bite them… but we know you still will.” That was followed by a ‘smiley face-with-tongue” emoji. So, we’re guessing no one is in grievous danger ingesting toxic chemicals if they dare to bite down on a gold, silver or bronze medal! About 6.21 million used phones make up this year’s approximately 5,000 medals.
(You can add your OWN “Olympic reception” line here!)
(So, they decided to make the medals out of the one item that is always reported to have more germs than a toilet seat?)
(Which leads me to believe that, possibly, I could make my own…)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A 14-year-old boy shocked police when he accused his father of “illegal child labor”, because he had been forced to do chores around the house. A parent in Ma’anshan who was sick of seeing his son with his eyes glued to his smartphone and ignoring his studies, asked him to put down the device and do some housework. The angry teen snuck out of the house and went to the police station, accusing his father of “illegal child labor”. An officer accompanied the boy home, and when the flabbergasted parent explained things, the cop advised him to discipline him the boy, suggesting he take his smartphone away. The boy’s response: “Do you really think I only have that mobile phone? That’s so naïve of you!” (I’m sure the kid’s smart. But he has a lot to learn about “the right to remain silent”!)
➢ A California restaurant notorious for disregarding COVID protocols is requiring patrons to prove that they HAVEN’T been vaccinated. A recent Instagram post by Basilico’s Pasta E Vino in Pasadena said: “From day one, never complied, banned masks, and now … requiring proof of being Un-vaccinated!” It’s actually a tongue-in-cheek jab at “the lockdown tiny tyrants” who were requiring people to provide evidence that they’ve received the shot, according to restaurant owner Tony Roman, who wrote in an email to the LA Times: “We chose to fire another missile of defiance to further make our point in defense of American liberty and freedom.” (How does one provide proof of UNvaccination? A ventilator?)
DID YOU KNOW?
A new study says that cycling, rather than running or walking, is more likely to help you live longer. Researchers from Denmark tracked 7,500 adults with diabetes over the course of 15 years, and subjects cycled as little as one hour each week. Cycling was associated with a 24% lower mortality rate than those who did not cycle or attempted other forms of physical activity. The researchers point out that it is important to share this evidence for the large health benefits of cycling, which they say likely also applies to “persons without diabetes.” (Not the way some bikers ride around here!)
BS CHRONOMETER 07.30.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941  Paul Anka, Ottawa ON, oldies pop singer (‘Put Your Head on my Shoulder’, ‘Diana’)/songwriter (‘My Way’, ‘Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson’ theme)
1947  Arnold Schwarzenegger, Thal Austria, movie actor (“Terminator” films, “Predator”, The Expendables” films)/38th California governor 2003-11/5-time “Mr. Universe”
1961  Laurence Fishburne, Augusta GA, movie actor (“Man of Steel”, “Matrix” trilogy)/TV actor (“Black-ish” since 2014)
1962  Alton Brown, Los Angeles CA, chef, TV personality (“Good Eats”, “Iron Chef America”)
1963  Lisa Kudrow, Encino CA, TV actress (“Friends” 1994-2004)/TV producer (“Who Do You Think You Are?” since 2010)/movie actress (“The Other Woman”, “Easy A”)
1964  Vivica A Fox, South Bend IN, movie actress (“Sharknado 2: The Second One”, “Kill Bill” movies)
1968  Terry Crews, Flint MI, TV actor (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine” since 2013)
1970  Christopher Nolan, London UK, movie director-producer-screenwriter (“Dunkirk”, “Interstellar”, “The Dark Knight” films)
1974  Hilary Swank, Lincoln NE, movie actress (Oscars-“Million Dollar Baby”, “Boys Don’t Cry”)
1977  Jaime Pressly, Kinston NC, TV actress (‘Jill Kendall’ on “Mom” since 2014, “My Name Is Earl” 2005-09)/movie actress (“A Haunted House 2”, “I Love You, Man”)
1999  Joey King, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“The Act”, “The Kissing Booth”)
SATURDAY– Celeb sports exec. Mark Cuban is 63; Wesley Snipes (“Blade”) is 59; JK Rowling (“Harry Potter”) is 56; Zac Brown (Zac Brown Band) is 43; Will Champion (Coldplay) is 43; BJ Novak (“The Office”) is 42; Rico Rodriguez (“Modern Family”) is 23
SUNDAY- Joe Elliott (Def Leppard) is 62; Chuck D (Public Enemy) is 61; John Carroll Lynch (“American Horror Story”) is 58; Coolio (‘Gangsta’s Paradise’) is 58; Adam Duritz (Counting Crows) is 57; Sam Mendes (“Skyfall”) is 56; Jason Momoa (“Aquaman”) is 42
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cheesecake Day”, a day to indulge yourself in one of the most decadent of all desserts. (What’s your favorite kind? Mine’s ‘guilt-free’)
• “Father-In-Law Day”, honoring the spousal parent who has never really been all that impressed with you. (Try to be nice anyway.)
• “Kiss Your Car Day”, observed on the 1863 birth date of Henry Ford. It’s a day to show your vehicle how much you really, really love her (As opposed to “kissing your car goodbye”, which would be something else entirely…)
• “Paperback Book Day”, marking the start of the paperback book revolution with publication of Penguin #1, “Ariel, The Life of Shelley” by Andre Maurois in London this date in 1935.
• “Support Public Education Day”, promoting the efforts of administrators, teachers, and parents who aim to maintain a public education system that meets the needs of every student.
• “World Snorkeling Day”, On this day in 1932, Joseph L. Belcher patented “Belcher Breathing Apparatus”. The word ‘snorkel’ comes from the German word ‘schnorchel’, which, loosely translated, means ‘to snore underwater’.
• “System Administrator Appreciation Day”, to honor that special person in the office who maintains the computer network. (Today, and today only, remember to try restarting your computer before you bother him/her!)
• “Mutts Day”, honoring all dogs of mixed breeds. Purebred owners often view them as lesser in many ways, but mutt owners know better!
• “Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day”, a celebration of strange musical instruments — such as the bubble organ, fluba, and dulcimer. (***Check out some REALLY weird ones here: LINK: http://www.oddee.com/item_98118.aspx ***)
• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the sweet, sugary taste-treat that melts in your mouth. It was invented in 1897 as ‘Fairy Floss’, then renamed in 1920. In Greece, Israel, and India it is often referred to as ‘Old Woman’s Hair’. Yuck.
• “Raspberry Cake Day”, a whole day dedicated to enjoying raspberries in cake format!
• “World Ranger Day”, initiated by the 54 member associations of the International Ranger Federation to celebrate the work rangers do to protect the world’s natural & cultural treasures.
• “Avocado Day”, it’s not just for delicious guacamole. Targeting insulin resistance with heart-healthy fats and fighting Alzheimer’s with its Omega 3 fatty acids, the avocado also prevents and repairs damage with its abundance of Vitamins C, E and K. (And apparently makes a fine spread for toast, if you’re a millennial…!)
• “August”, begins. Originally the 6th month of the Roman year, called “Sextilis”. In 8 BC, Emperor Augustus Caesar persuaded the Senate to change the month’s name to ‘Augustus’ in his honor. (If it weren’t for him, today would be the first of Sextilis!)
• “World Wide Web Day”, marking the birth of the Web in August 1990 at the Europe Laboratory for Particle Physics in Switzerland. Tim Berners-Lee & Robert Cailliau developed a prototype Web browser and introduced Hypertext Markup Language (HTML) (And Al Gore was nowhere to be found…)
• “Girlfriends Day”, either some girl’s greedy grab at gifts from her guy, or perhaps a day for ‘the girls’ to hang out and share woman-to-woman time? (And you’ll notice, guys, that ‘Girlfriends’ is in plural form. Take from that what you will…)
• “Respect for Parents Day”. So, what’s the best way to gain respect … setting an example or creating fear?
• “Spider-Man Day”, marking the superhero’s debut in 1962, in issue #15 of “Amazing Fantasy” comics.
• “Homemade Pie Day”, pumpkin pie, which was first recorded in a cookbook in 1675, originated from British spiced and boiled squash. It was not popularized in America until the early 1800s.
• “Play Ball Day”, baseball umpires call out, “Play ball!” to start games. Here are a few ball-based sports to get the proverbial ball rolling: baseball, basketball, billiards, bocce ball, bowling, carpet ball, croquet, dodge ball, field hockey, foosball, football, four square, golf, handball, jacks, juggling, lacrosse, marbles, paddleball, paddle tennis, paint ball, polo, racquetball, softball, squash, stickball, tee ball, tetherball, tennis, volleyball, water polo and waffle ball. (Got any more?)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006  After 42 years, the world’s longest running music show, “Top of the Pops”, is televised for the last time on BBC2
2017  Hackers reveal they have stolen data from HBO, including “Games of Thrones” scripts and episodes
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2003  The ‘SARStock Concert’ in Toronto ON draws about 450,000 to see AC/DC, Rolling Stones, Rush, The Guess Who, Justin Timberlake and others in a bid to prove the city’s safety after an outbreak of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS)
2007  Britney Spears divorces rapper-dancer Kevin Federline due to irreconcilable differences after over 2 years of marriage and 2 children
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1976  American athlete Bruce (now Caitlyn) Jenner sets a world record in decathlon with 8,617 points and wins Gold at the Montréal Olympics
2002  Brazil wins a record 5th FIFA World Cup championship with a 2-0 victory over Germany
TODAY’S LAST . . .
2003  The last ‘old style’ Volkswagen Beetle rolls off the assembly line in Mexico (best-selling car model in the world at the time, over 21 million sold)
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The frequency of twin births has doubled since 1980.
✓ You have to eat 5kg (11lb) of potatoes to gain .5kg (1lb) of weight. (But the butter’ll get ya!)
✓ The left drumstick of a chicken is more tender than the right one.
✓ In China, North American football is known as “olive ball”.
✓ Polo players are not allowed to play left-handed because it’s too dangerous.
✓ Due to gravitational effects, you weigh slightly less when the moon is directly overhead.
BS AT THE LOW-BAR OLYMPICS:
• There is a break half-way through the 100m dash.
• The medals are made of chocolate.
• It’s possible to get a 10, even from the Russian judge.
• Two words: Synchronized Sitting.
• Highest score in golf: good.
• Everyone must test positive for fast food.
• No medals. Just participation ribbons.
• Limbo contest, obviously.
• They make the athletes sleep in cardboard beds.
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ NBC could lose millions on Olympics coverage as ratings plummet. (I’m shocked. I expected savvier business decisions from the network that just renewed “Kenan” for a second season!)
➠ Did you catch any Olympic action this week? (I watched about 47 seconds of beach volleyball. Then I had a cigarette and fell asleep…)
➠ ABC says the all-star cast of “Dancing With the Stars” won’t be released until late August. (And that, my friends, is what you call a double oxymoron.)
➠ Arnold Schwarzenegger is 74 today. (He didn’t plan anything big . . . just a quiet dinner with his families.)
➠ Former U.S. Women’s Soccer goalie Hope Solo is 40 today. (She’s probably going out drinking tonight, so watch for her on TMZ tomorrow!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Too mean? https://tinyurl.com/3w6c9puj
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.
BS PHONE STARTER:
Imagine a ‘best day ever’. What kinds of things would you do?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: You’d probably deny it, but on average, you do THIS about 32 times a year. What is it?
Answer: Break the law
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he’s absolutely free to choose.