Friday, July 12, 2013        Edition: #5023

The Sheet Hits the Fans!

✳ Actor Bruce Willis impressed onscreen love interest Mary-Louise Parker on the set of “RED 2” when he killed a bee that was bothering her by … shooting it. Parker recalls: “I’m scared of bugs and there was a bee and he whipped his prop gun out of his pocket and blew it away. A blank is enough to take out a bee. Then he just put the gun back and went back to being, like, Bruce Willis.” (“RED 2” opens July 19th … without the bee.)
✳ Mel Greig, the female half of the Australian morning radio team responsible for that prank call to the London hospital where Kate Middleton was being treated for morning sickness last year, is now suing her employer. A complaint against Southern Cross Austereo has been lodged with Fair Work Australia, claiming it ‘failed to maintain a safe workplace’. (What this really may be all about … Greig remains off-air in the wake of the incident, while co-host Michael Christian returned to work and even won recognition as the company’s top air personality in June.)
✳ Actor Johnny Depp wants to buy the iconic South Dakota site of Wounded Knee, scene of an 1890 massacre and a 1970s stand-off with federal authorities, and return it to Native Americans. The land is apparently up for sale at $3.9 million, but as the local Sioux tribe cannot afford it, Depp is committed to spending millions of his own money to return the land to their ownership. (Is this in any way recompense for his decision to play ‘Tonto’ … with a dead bird on his head?)
– “Daily Mail”
✳ And 34-year-old actress Busy Philipps has defended her decision to call her newborn baby … Cricket Pearl. The “Cougar Town” star gave birth July 2nd to her 2nd daughter via husband Marc Silverstein, the first being named … Birdie Leigh. Philipps has tweeted to all the name-haters: “It’s weird people think my kids will be in therapy because of their names. Guys, my kids will be in therapy for lots of reasons, I’m sure.” (They’re planning to someday add a son to the family … Pigeon Droppings.)

• British Summer Time (London) – Saturday the Rolling Stones play London’s Hyde Park for the 2nd weekend in-a-row; Sunday Jennifer Lopez and Lionel Richie headline. (Elton John cancelled tonight’s appearance due to illness, so a free multi-artist show is on.)
• Bunbury Music Festival (Cincinnati OH) – This 3-day weekend fest has a lineup that includes fun., MGMT, The National, Tegan & Sara, and many more.
• Forecastle Festival (Louisville KY) – The 11th annual 3-day event features Alabama Shakes, Avett Brothers, Black Keys, Flaming Lips, Robert Plant & The Sensational Space Shifters.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning OneRepublic (“Native”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight White Lung (“Sorry”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Ciara f/Future (“Ciara”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight  Dale Watson (“El Rancho Azul”). Rerun.
• MLB All-Star Charity Concert (NYC) – Saturday this Central Park event features Mariah Carey. The charity concert is in association with Major League Baseball’s All-Star Week festivities and will benefit the hurricane recovery organization Sandy Relief.
• “The Newsroom”(HBO/HBO Canada) – Sunday the 2nd season debut of Aaron Sorkin’s TV news drama. The series stars Jeff Daniels as crusading cable news anchor ‘Will McAvoy’.
• T In the Park (Balado, Scotland) – This lineup for this 20th annual mega-fest, tonight through Sunday, is headlined by Mumford & Sons, Rihanna, and The Killers.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Today Ed Sheeran (“+”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Passenger (“All the Little Lights”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today LeAnn Rimes (“Spitfire”).
• Wireless Festival (London) – At Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, Justin Timberlake headlines tonight; Jay-Z on Saturday; then they perform together Sunday in a preview of their upcoming “Legends Of the Summer” tour. Also appearing: Emeli Sande, Frank Ocean, Nas, Rita Ora, Snoop Lion, Trey Songz, and others.

• Beyoncé – On the cover of the new issue of “Flaunt” magazine, she flaunts her bod’ covered in glitter. In a somewhat bizarre interview inside, she’s asked: “What is your favorite kind of stain?” Mama Bey’s answer: “Milk.”
• Daft Punk – They’re set to be immortalized via a line of action figures later this year, designed under the direct supervision of the artists themselves. Each figure will be sold separately when they hit stores in North America December 27th.
• Florida Georgia Line – Thanks to “Cruise”, the hit single that just won’t die, their album “Here’s To the Good Times” is the top-selling country album on the new “Billboard” chart.
• J Cole – His latest album, “Born Sinner”, has ascended to become the new all-genre #1 album, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
• Jason Aldean – Saturday he plays Boston’s Fenway Park, making history as the first country artist to ever play the famed stadium. Miranda Lambert and Jake Owen are also on the bill.
• Justin Bieber – He’s planning to release a ‘music journal’ later this year, which sounds like it may vary from a traditional album release but so far details are sketchy.
• Prince – This weekend he headlines Switzerland’s 47th annual Montreux Jazz Festival. The Purple One performs 3 concerts: Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.

• “Grown Ups 2” ( PG-13 Comedy ): After moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their kids, ‘Lenny’ (Adam Sandler) finds out that between old bullies, new bullies, psycho bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and 400 costumed party crashers, sometimes crazy follows you right into a sequel movie. Co-stars Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade.
• “Pacific Rim” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): As a war between humankind and monstrous sea creatures wages on, a former pilot and a trainee are paired up to drive a seemingly obsolete special weapon in a desperate effort to save the world from apocalypse. Directed by Guillermo del Toro. Stars Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba.

A while back, cosmetics giant L’Oreal Paris filed a patent application for something called ‘administration of agents mimicking dopachrome tautomerase (TRP-2) activity for protecting hair follicle melanocytes’. What that loosely translates to is … a secret potion that prevents grey hair. It’s unknown when the stuff will actually hit shelves or how it’ll be delivered to greying heads. What we do know is that the formula includes something called ‘putrescine’, the organic chemical compound that gives things like rotting fish, bad breath, and semen their distinct foul odor. (Well that’s likely the holdup. Is grey hair worse than smelling like a dead mackerel?)

The iTunes App Store has moved over 50 billion apps in 5 years. The most popular freebees …
1. Facebook
2. Pandora Radio
3. Instagram
4. YouTube
5. Skype
– Apple

While some apps generate millions for developers, most are rarely downloaded according to new research. Apple’s App Store, for instance, has about 900,000 products but is populated by many ‘zombie’ programs which get next to no downloads. In fact, stats from tracking service Adeven indicate that almost 600,000 of them, over two-thirds, are rarely installed by consumers. A related study finds 68% of smartphone owners use 5 or fewer apps on a weekly basis. (Dumbest app you’ve ever seen?)

Would you tattoo your toddler the way you’d microchip your dog? A company called ‘Safety Tats’ is offering temporary tattoos for children that parents can personalize any way they want, be it with general medical information, allergy alerts, or a phone number. The company recommends the hypoallergenic adhesives for fear-crippled parents at ‘amusement parks, stadium events, traveling, museums, shopping malls, first day of school, drop-off play dates, and birthday parties.’ (In other words, anywhere you can’t be to ‘helicopter’ over your child.)

When it comes to the effects of knocking back a few drinks, women tend to use moderate terms such as ‘buzzed’ or ‘tipsy’, while men tend to use heavier terms such as ‘hammered’ and ‘wasted’. A new study from the Research Institute on Addictions at SUNY Buffalo suggests the difference in language may reflect social norms as well as gender. Women may downplay intoxication to fit expectations about how much women should drink. Among college men, on the other hand, being heavily intoxicated is perceived to be what’s expected. (What’s the best slang term for being drunk? We like ‘stinko’ and ‘all beered up’.)
– “USA Today”

Shares bought by female company directors do better in the long-term than those bought by male directors. (So how come there’s so many fewer females?)
– “The Economist”


1962 [51] Dan Murphy, Minneapolis MN, alt-rock guitarist (Soul Asylum-“Misery”, “Runaway Train”)

1978 [35] Topher Grace, NYC, movie actor (“Spider-Man 3”, “Valentine’s Day”)/TV actor (“Too Big to Fail” 2011, “That ‘70s Show” 1998-2005)

1978 [35] Michelle Rodriguez, San Antonio TX, movie actress (“Fast & Furious 6”, “Avatar”)/TV actress (“Lost” 2005-06, 2009-10)

1983 [30] Kimberly Perry, Ridgeland MS, country singer-guitarist (The Band Perry-“Better Dig Two”, “If I Die Young”)

Movie actor Harrison Ford (“Star Wars”) is 71; Movie director Cameron Crowe (“Almost Famous”) is 56; R&B/dance singer Deborah Cox (“Beautiful U R”) is 39; Pop-rock drummer Will Champion (Coldplay) is 35; TV actor Steven R McQueen (“The Vampire Diaries”) is 25.

TV actress Jane Lynch (“Glee”) is 53; Rock musician-comedian Kyle Gass (Tenacious D) is 53; Movie actor Matthew Fox (“World War Z”) is 47; Country singer-songwriter Jamey Johnson (“The Dollar”) is 38; Hip-hop musician Taboo (Black Eyed Peas) is 38.

• “Canadian Open Sandsculpting Competition” in Parksville BC. Sculptors from Canada, Latvia, the Netherlands, Mexico, and the USA will have 24 hours to complete their work as they compete for a spot in the World Championships in Atlantic City NJ next year.
• “Collector Car Appreciation Day”, the 4th annual salute to automotive hobbyists that’s geared to raising awareness of automotive restoration and collection.
• “Different Colored Eyes Day”, celebrating the diversity of eye color as well as people with eyes that are a different color from one other. Celebs who have what’s called ‘heterochromia’ include rocker David Bowie, actress Mila Kunis, and actor Kiefer Sutherland.
• “Pecan Pie Day”, celebrating one of the most decadent of all desserts. The crust and pecans aren’t necessary … just the yummy goo in the center! Is it ‘PEE-can or ‘puh-CAHN’?
• “Simplicity Day”, a day to focus on ways to simplify your life.
• “Wayne Chicken Show”, the 33rd edition in Wayne, Nebraska, home of the ‘National Cluck-Off’ in which contestants try to act and sound like a chicken. Other events: ‘Best Chicken Legs On a Human’, and ‘The Rubber Chicken Chuck’.

• “Embrace Your Geekness Day”, a great day to be a Geek … or to know a Geek. Some people view the term with a negative connotation. Are they jealous of your knowledge and skills? Yeah, that’s it.
• “French Fries Day”. The ‘french’ has nothing to do with France, but the method of preparation. Food that’s chipped into pieces is said to be ‘frenched’. It’s thought that french fries most likely originated in Belgium.
• “Moon Amtrak”, the 34th annual stunt by customers at Mugs Away Saloon in Laguna Niguel, California who line up cheek-to-cheek and simultaneously drop their drawers to ‘moon’ passing trains. The bottoms-up bash draws as many as 1,000 bums to the tavern.

• “Barn Day”, an annual day of appreciation on the 2nd Sunday in July for what can be attractive as well as functional architecture. Also a place where people with bad manners are born.
• “Bastille Day”, the national holiday of France that commemorates the beginning of the French Revolution in 1789, when patriots stormed the Bastille prison. A military parade and massive fireworks are planned for Paris.
• “International Nude Day”, a serious celebration of the ‘naturist’ lifestyle.
• “Pick Blueberries Day”, or if you’re as lazy as we are, pick blueberries off the shelf at you local supermarket day. Either way, they’re good for you – high fiber, no fat, loaded with antioxidants.

2008 [05] Twins (a girl named Vivienne Marcheline & a boy named Knox Leon) are born to acting couple Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie in Nice, France

1962 [51] The Rolling Stones make their live debut at the Marquee Club in London (they’re paid a paltry £20)

1998 [15] Host country France defeats favored Brazil 3-0 to win its 1st-ever FIFA World Cup, at Stade de France in Saint Denis

1996 [17] Michael Jordan signs with Chicago Bulls for an NBA-record $30 million-a-season

[Mon] “The Amazing Race Canada” debuts (CTV)
[Mon] Be a Dork Day
[Mon] Global Hug Your Kid Day
[Mon] Gummi Worm Day
[Mon] Get Out Of the Doghouse Day
[Tues] MLB Baseball All-Star Game (NYC)
This Week Is … Sports Cliché Week
This Month Is … Child-Centered Divorce Month


• ‘Summer Fashions No One Looks Good In’ – “Redbook”
• ‘How to Get Smooth From Head to Toe’ – “Glamour”
• ‘How to Give a Killer Massage’ – “Ladies’ Home Journal”
• ‘10 Weird Things That Turn Men On’ – “Woman’s Day”
• ‘The Designer Workout That Will Reinvent Your Ass’ – “Cosmopolitan”

• ‘The 7-Day Belly Shrink’ – “Men’s Fitness”
• ‘Girls Who Want a Foot Massage’ – “Maxim”
• ‘Alternative Grilling: Smoked Bone Marrow’ – “Esquire”
• ‘10 Ways to Rock a Bow Tie’ – “GQ”
• ‘Kill Cravings with Videogames!’ – “Men’s Health”

☎ What’s something you should never say to a bride? (Are you thinking about kids yet? Are you sure you’re ready to get married?)

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Question: Perhaps surprisingly, men do THIS 29 seconds faster than women on average.
Answer: Change a diaper.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is depth.

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